Hen night vent. Apologies in advance, Disappointed.

[merrymunky]

I need to vent...

It was my hen night last night. My work friends didn't make the effort to dress up in the theme I had given them, they forgot my hen night bits and bobs (you know, the tacky veil and tiara etcetc) even though they said they would provide them. Luckily I had a bride to be sash I bought just in case and a big flashing badge from my best friend who came. She's a star.

The workmates turned up to the meal 40 minutes late. We had a lovely meal and afterwards I took them to a trendy bar knowing they all like cheese and mainstream stuff. I went along with it, enjoyed it for a while, but got bored so decided to take them t my fave alternative nightclub to mosh to my kind of music. I had warned them it wouldn't be their thing but they all said beforehand "It's fine, it's your night, we will do what YOU want to do."

They lasted half an hour. HALF AN HOUR. I went to the dancefloor to dance to my fave songs but they stood around looking bewildered. But when we were at the trendy bar they were all dancing and having fun. Half an hour in MY club and they announced they were going home. THANKS!

My best friend and her sister stayed and had a good dance for another hour or so, I got drunk because I was still sober when the others left and a little disappointed about that, so I necked a few doubles! I got home and checked facebook online and one of my workfriends posted a status 10 minutes earlier saying "...IS HAVING A BRILL NIGHT BUT HER FEET ARE HURTING...BLOODY NEW SHOES. LOL"

So that to me suggests that after they left us saying they were going to get a lift home with one of my friends, that they actully went somewhere else because this status update was at least 2 hours after they left us. Not happy about that.

One of the workfriends who came got married earlier this year had a hen night and we went to (and I endured) all manner of cheesey clubs that are NOT my thing. But I stuck it out because it was HER night. I didn't bail, I danced and made the most of it for her sake. Also, no one let her pay for ANYTHING all night. She had a jewellery party that cost £25 a head and we paid for her share. Last night I paid for my own meal and entrance to clubs etc. Now I don't expect them to pay for me, but the sentiment would have been nice considering the precident that was set at her hen night a few months ago.

It really felt like "us and them"...me and my best friend and her sister vs my work friends.

Overall I did have a good night but I felt SO sad when the others announced they were leaving. I really felt undervalued as a friend. I actually feel close to tears typing this out. Am I just being silly?

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it off my chest somewhere online that none of them will see.

 

[KatyWI]

I''m so sorry, merrymunky! That''s awful of them, and they should have stuck it out for you.

I have to say I can relate a little bit... all of my closest and favorite friends in my city were invited to a shower (later today!) and my bachelorette weekend next week. There were 10-15 of them invited, and only 3 responded at all by the date on the invite. A couple more were prompted to respond when I sent a message letting them all know that they SHOULD... and as it turns out, there will only be 6 people at my shower today (including me and the BM throwing it), and only one girl outside of the bridal party is coming up to the bachelorette weekend.

I wouldn''t feel so hurt if so many of my friends hadn''t made noise about how excited they were for all of my wedding related events, and told me they couldn''t wait, and they wouldn''t miss it for the world - and then couldn''t even be bothered to say they weren''t coming, let alone show up!

I don''t mean to threadjack!!!! I just wanted to let you know you''re not alone in the "my friends sort of suck right now" thing, and wanted to say that the only thing that matters in the end is that we end up with our wonderful men and live happy lives together, so just focus on the upcoming wedding instead!!!!

 

[merrymunky]

That''s very true. Sorry you are having troubles too.

I just feel like such a fuss was made over my work mate for her hen do but they made little effort in return for me.

 

[ficklefaye]

oh merrymunky, you have every right to be upset, it was your night and i feel like they didn''t make much of an effort, for my friend''s bday a few years back, i stuck out hours at a club that just wasn''t my style, but it was her bday and i wanted to be there for her because she was having fun, even more so if it was her bachelorette party

that''s great that your best friend and her sister stayed at least, but about your other friends, i''m not sure how i would react, there is no point in holding a grudge but are you planning on bringing it up to them or just dropping it?

i hope the last few days leading up to your wedding day run smoothly.

 

[merrymunky]

My work friend sent me a text message earlier today saying:

"Hi Em, how are you today? A bit hungover by any chance? Thanks for a lovely eve. Polly and her sister are lush. Sorry we couldn''t cut it in Sound Circus seriously matey I just don''t know how you cope with the smell and the toilets. You crazy rock chick you!. Anyways, enjoy the build up to your special day. It''s going to be fab. See you soon. Big lovexxx"

Ok, so she gave an explanation and an aology but I am still riled up by it considering her hen night was epic and it was the full works as I said in my original post.

I sent her a reply that said:

"It is grotty but I put up with it for my music. I feel like a fish out of water in trendy bars. I only go there for the sake of friend''s enjoyment. I was a little sad that you guys went early considering it was my hen night but I am glad we all had a lovely time at the meal. I am not feeling too bad. I was still sober when you guys left so I necked a few doubles to catc up after! xx"

I hope that didn''t sound bitchy. I was just being honest.

 

[DMBFiredancer]

I can completely relate and understand why you are upset.
For my wedding, my work friends left 2 hours before the wedding was done. When the dancing started. The part that I talked about to them beforehand about by saying "I hope people dance even though its a daytime wedding" and they replied with "of course we ''re going to dance with you!"

I was especially disappointed with the 2 youngest ones - the ones without kids to get home to. The ones that said they''d dance for sure.

When I look at my wedding pictures, it makes me a little upset that they are in NONE of the dancing pictures. It also bothered me that my other friends said to me "How come we didnt meet your work friends? Why didnt they come out and dance or mingle a bit?"

Um, because they all left.

But, my hubby put it into perspective by saying...."They did their JOB."
They showed up.
They stayed as long as they needed to.
And that was it.

And that is why they are my "work friends."

Hopefully that will help you, too....Try to think about the people who DID stick it out and make your night special. Focus on the good

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 8/23/2009 2:33:47 PM

And that is why they are my 'work friends.'

Hopefully that will help you, too....Try to think about the people who DID stick it out and make your night special. Focus on the good

Ditto - these people aren't your true friends they are work colleagues

- which is why I keep work and my home life completely separate.

Look forward to your special day and don't focus on issues that really don't matter in the great scheme of things.

Good luck on your big day

 

[dani2142]

sorry girlie. people are a-holes. like they couldn''t give up one night of doing what they wanted for a friend? give me a break! i guess we all realize who our true friends are..... sometimes it takes a little longer then we would have wanted but eventually we all do. anyway, cheer up sweetie.

 

[dani2142]

oh and i''m with you on the whole trendy bar scene. give me a tall draft beer and some good rock music and i''m a happy gal

but regardless of what your friend''s tastes are ..... it was your night.... so they should have sucked it up.

 

[Dannielle]

That would annoy me to no end.. especially that they left and went somewhere else?

Atleast you now know who your true friends are..

 

[merrymunky]

Thank you girls. I wasn''t sure if I was just being over emotional yesterday in my hung over state.

I would never dream of leaving someone''s hen nght just because their choice of club/activity was not my thing. If I had stayed in the trendy bars listening to music I hate I would have come home miserable and for once it was supposed to be all about ME!

 

[bee*]

I can definitely understand why you would be disappointed. That sucks that they couldn''t stay for a few hours to party with you. Enjoy the last few days before the wedding!

 

[elrohwen]

I''m really sorry

That''s such a bummer. If I were in your position I would absolutely be upset at what happened. I like what DMBFiredancer said about "work friends" doing their "job" by showing up. It''s a shame you had to find out that they''re lousy friends on what should''ve been such a fun night.

 

[daught3rofEve]

Believe it or not, rockin out and moshing sounds like a wonderful evening to me! Any time I want to go out with my sisters we go to this Christian indie heavy metal place... it''s great. haha.


Anywho, they get a big fat "F" in friendship for that stunt.

Just remember, you are precious and they are idiots.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

i''m sorry it didn''t work out but i think the saying "no one cares about your wedding as much as you do" can be applied to other wedding related activities as well. Not trying to sound like a jerk, just my two cents..

 

[princesss]

Date: 8/24/2009 10:57:29 AM
Author: Smurfyimproved
i''m sorry it didn''t work out but i think the saying ''no one cares about your wedding as much as you do'' can be applied to other wedding related activities as well. Not trying to sound like a jerk, just my two cents..

I just don''t think it''s the same thing. It''s not like MM is complaining because people don''t want to hear about her centerpieces again, or whether or not the ribbon colours are just right - if she was, I''d be the first to agree with you. She''s upset because she went out for a night with friends and they ditched her because her idea of fun isn''t what they''re used to after telling her they were okay with it. Call me crazy, but if I was at a friend''s party (bachelorette, birthday, etc.) I''m there to support my friend and make sure she has fun. Whether it''s my thing or not doesn''t matter as much to me as making sure my friend has a great time and feels loved.

MM, I''m sorry these girls turned out not to be very good friends. That stinks.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Well that''s what I''m saying, some people just don''t turn out to be the people you thought they were, in turn, they end up not caring about things as much as you would like them to...ya know? and that just happens to make me think of that saying

 

[princesss]

Date: 8/24/2009 11:22:54 AM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Well that''s what I''m saying, some people just don''t turn out to be the people you thought they were, in turn, they end up not caring about things as much as you would like them to...ya know? and that just happens to make me think of that saying

Gotcha.

 

[tlh]

THAT SUCKS! I''m sorry, I guess they don''t know how to grin and bear it... or grin and drink gin... and then cab it home.

so here''s me... doin'' a goofy dance for ya!