Hey Maisie .....

[Gailey]

Just saw your comments over on Cera''s thread in RT.

I just wanted to send you an e-hug

Followed by

 

[Maisie]

Thankyou Gailey. I really do appreciate the support. I wasn''t going to say anything about things at home but when Lynn asked I wanted to be honest about why I sold my rings. I am praying for reconcilliation between my husband and I.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Maisie... we need a hug-emoticon!

How recent is this? How you and the kids hanging in there?

 

[D&T]

Maisie-

big squeeze to you. I''m sorry I hope things will get better soon. I sure do miss your posts, glad to see you.

 

[Maisie]

We have been struggling for quite a long time. I think my depression had a big bearing on what went wrong. I changed a lot. I suppose I have been plodding along hoping it would get better between us. The kids are ok. They don''t really know much. Gary is going into the Air Force in January and thats when we will start divorce proceedings. He will come back for as many visits as possible.

 

[Steel]

Hi Maisie,

I am sorry to hear this.

Things can be very important until they are not, then they mean nothing.

I hope you are ok.

Best wishes,

 

[princesss]

*Big hugs*, sweetie.

 

[diamondringlover]

Maisie, I am sorry for what you are going thru

 

[bee*]

I''m so sorry to read that Maisie. Sending tons of hugs. You know how to get in contact with me if you ever need anything.

 

[zoebartlett]

Maisie -- I''m so sorry to hear this! Thinking of you!

 

[Maisie]

Thank you. I really do appreciate it.

 

[Circe]

That sounds so incredibly difficult. I''m really sorry. I hope that things get better soon.

 

[Snicklefritz]

Hope you''re doing all right, Maisie. Wish you the best!

 

[Deelight]

*hugs* bruddah

 

[Lynn B]

Awwww, Maisie, I am so sorry to hear about this. You sound so very sad, and of course, understandably so.

I didn''t mean to pry (in that other thread) but your comment about selling your rings just took me so by surprise and I thought I must have missed something in another thread or post. Or I thought perhaps you''d had some magical hypnotherapy

that cured you of any DSS, and well, if so -- I needed to know more about that!

Seriously, I cannot even imagine what you are going through. Your love for your husband has always come through loud and clear... and I am just so sorry to hear of this. I wish you and your children all the best in the days and weeks ahead... and I hope that things work out in the best way possible for all of you.

Hang in there, sweetie... and please feel free to come here and talk about it as much as you need or want to. It might, in some small way, help you in getting through this. And if that happens, and we can help at all -- that is OUR privilege.

xoxoxo
Lynn

 

[hlmr]

Sorry to hear this Maisie. I wish the best for you and your family. Strength to you!!

 

[decodelighted]

Sorry to hear about the situation Maisie. Wishing you lots of strength & hope & maybe some good meds! One of my best friends had a rapid downward spiral depression-wise during her separation. Please make sure you reach out to friends & professionals if you feel worse.

 

[lyra]

Oh, I''m so sorry Maisie. I hope things get better for you soon. Please take care, and don''t blame yourself. Hugs and good vibes to you and your family.

 

[gemgirl]

Date: 9/12/2009 2:59:44 PM
Author: Maisie
We have been struggling for quite a long time. I think my depression had a big bearing on what went wrong. I changed a lot. I suppose I have been plodding along hoping it would get better between us. The kids are ok. They don't really know much. Gary is going into the Air Force in January and thats when we will start divorce proceedings. He will come back for as many visits as possible.

Maisie, I've been thinking about you a lot since you stopped posting. I got used to talking to you often, and then you were gone and I had a gnawing feeling in my stomach through much of the summer wondering what had happened.

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation at home. It's so hard to believe because you always spoke so lovingly about your husband and your family. Do know, there is something you can do to save your family. I know the modern reaction to news like this is to to go with the flow and be accepting of the outcome you are describing- separation and divorce, but that's not so. Ten years ago this coming Thanksgiving, my husband asked me for a divorce. Our marriage ended when I found out there had been an infidelity. It crushed me. It broke my heart and it severely wounded my spirit. I was convinced I could never be the same person again, but six weeks later, we found and participated in the program that we volunteer our time to- to this day, and our marriage is strong and it is healthy and we have created a newer, better version of our relationship. No one has to throw in the towel, no matter what has happened (with the exception of physical abuse. We don't recommend that couples stay together when that happens). In any case, I really didn't want to air my past history on a public board, but, if you want help to save your marriage, it's out there and it's available to all who are willing to give it a chance.

Months ago, I asked the mods to connect us because I had the sneaking feeling that something was wrong. They never answered me. If you'd like to talk either through email or on the phone, ask the mods to connect us.
I'd like to help if I can. In the meantime, try to take good care of yourself physically and emotionally and try to stay strong.

Our program is only two years old in your country, but I don't think that matters much. It's still the same program.

http://www.retrouvaille.org.uk/

http://www.rcdow.org.uk/pastoralaffairs/marriageandfamilylife/default.asp?content_ref=2303

 

[Lynn B]

Well, Gemgirl, I just wanted to send you a *hug* for reaching out to Maise like that... and for putting that very private into about you and your husband "out there", in the hopes that it could help her. That was very selfless and caring.

I don''t know anything about that group you recommended; but I do believe that, whenever possible, marriages are worth trying VERY hard to save... and I am happy to hear your success story. And I wish the best for Maisie, and hope that she finds comfort and help, too, in whatever way she needs.

More hugs to you, Maisie. xoxox

 

[isaku5]

Aw, Maisie, this is breaking my heart. I haven''t read what you posted in the RT thread, but in this one, I can see that things are not going well with your marriage. As others have said, you always spoke lovingly of your husband and family so this comes as a surprise to me.

Deco mentioned meds and I''m thinking she meant anti-depressants - if that''s the case, I can honestly say, they saved my life many years ago.

 

[gemgirl]

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 176px">Date: 9/13/2009 9:43:03 AM
Author: Lynn B
Well, Gemgirl, I just wanted to send you a *hug* for reaching out to Maise like that... and for putting that very private into about you and your husband ''out there'', in the hopes that it could help her. That was very selfless and caring.

I don''t know anything about that group you recommended; but I do believe that, whenever possible, marriages are worth trying VERY hard to save... and I am happy to hear your success story. And I wish the best for Maisie, and hope that she finds comfort and help, too, in whatever way she needs.

More hugs to you, Maisie. xoxox

>> Lynn. She''s our Maisie. Anything I can do to help, I''m willing to do.

Our marriage, like many others, actually disintegrated as a result of a number of very serious negative behavioral patterns, and over the years my husband and I have called ourselves "the couple least likely to succeed" when speaking to couples in need of help. We believe that if our marriage could be saved with so many different things wrong with it, pretty much any marriage could be saved. It takes complete committment to the program and to each other for this to happen, but it is possible. That''s the most important thing to know. That it is possible, even under the very worst of circumstances. Even when it seems that a marriage has nothing going for it and everything going against it.

Retrouvaille is the sister group to Marriage Encounter. Most people have heard of ME. The format of the weekends and the tools taught to improve communication skills are the same. It''s the content of the weekend that''s different. ME is for healthy marriages trying to make them even better. Retrouvaille is the same program, but for those who are heading towards separation or divorce. So the content of the talks given on the weekends is different.

Before I hit the submit button, I''d like anyone who is reading this to understand that although our program was founded by one particular faith, it has become over the years, a tool that has been used by people of every faith orientation all over the globe. No one is trying to convert anyone through the program. The program was written as a integrated effort of - people of faith, people from various twelve step programs, and psychologists/marriage counselors. It is sound and complete in it''s attempt to help to heal broken marriages and it is recommended by many marriage counselors. We have couples of many mixed backgrounds on our weekend that''s happening right now. All are welcomed with open arms.

 

[risingsun]

Oh Maisie, I''m so sorry you are going through this. I will thinking about you and sending you {{{{{hugs}}}}}. Stay strong.

 

[Maisie]

Its very touching that so many of you have offered advice and caring thoughts. I feel very grateful. I am finding it hard to go into details about what happened but I can say apart from my depression I haven''t done anything to cause this break up. Make of that what you will

I am aware that Gary may see my posts so I don''t want to say too much or make a difficult situation worse.

I do want reconcilliation in this marriage. I am willing to wait and pray that this will happen. I am still on medication and I hope that the separation won''t make me feel any worse. I will be keeping an eye on my moods.

I think I might just stay away from PS for a while till I get my head around whats happening. I don''t want to do the whole dramatic exit. I want you all to know that I appreciate every bit of support you have offered me.

 

[Steel]

If tensions are running high, it may be best for you to hold your peace in a public forum.

We know you are a lovely woman who has endured many traumas, we know that your DH must be a nice man else you would not have married him.

There is not much else we need to know so do not feel that our support requires you to open up here. I imagine I speak for the masses here but I stand to be corrected.

Don't feel that you need to leave PS if it gives you some joy, just avoid any forums that you feel are upsetting and do not reply to further enquiries as to your wellbeing.

You have great knowledge and I imagine you enjoy sharing with us, so if it makes you happy then do not stop.

 

[oddoneout]

Oh no I''m really sorry to hear about this. I hope you get a lot of support (including a lot on this forum). I ditto a few nice relaxing G and Ts would help. I wish you luck in going through this hard time.

 

[Lynn B]

Maisie, I''m so sorry you are going through this.
Yes, take a (PS) break if you need to... or hang out here if you want to. We understand either way. No pressure from any of us. And as Steel said above, it''s really none of our business, and we don''t *need* to know a thing. So don''t feel like you owe any of us any explanations or details.
You''ve got a lot on your plate right now, and of course, your own health and your family come first.
Take care of yourself... be kind to yourself.
Allow yourself time to hurt, to grieve, to be angry, to be scared. It''s all normal, and necessary.
Let your children and your friends and family love and support you.

I wish you peace and happiness.
[hugs]

 

[kama_s]

Maisie, I am so sorry to hear you''re going through such a rough time.

I''ll be keeping you in my thoughts . *hug*

 

[loriken214]

Maisie, my heart and prayers are with you always!!! Take good care of YOU!!!

Much love!

Lori

 

[Samantha Red]

Maisie I am so sorry to hear this, and hope and pray that you get back on track. You always sounded like an amazing family, so close and together, with lots of lovely kids, dogs and cats. It sounded like a great marriage and great family. All the very best of luck, I hope everything works out for the best.