Hmm should I say something?

[Grlsbestfrnd]

Let me start off by saying, my SO and I were looking at rings online the other day. I told him before that I like cushions, rounds, and princess cuts. At first I thought he said he liked rounds so I had mostly been looking at those. I really like cushions the most but I wanted him to have options to pick from so he can surprise me and get something he likes too plus, I don't care too much. Then, when I said something about him liking rounds more he said no, I like cushions best but rounds more than princess. Hooray!

Well, lately he seems to be dropping hints that a proposal could be soon and I thought about how I never explained which type of cushion I like best. I really like OMCs and AVCs but they may not be in the budget so a cushion brilliant would be wonderful too as long as it doesn't have the crushed ice look. Now I'm worried he may buy a cushion and it will have that crushed ice look because so many out there do. I almost said something but I stopped myself because then I started to worry that maybe he already bought it and I wouldn't want to make him feel bad if that's what he got.

So, now I'm asking, should I say something? I guess it wouldn't be too bad if it has the crushed ice look and I suppose I could live with it. The only thing that worries me is I know he doesn't like the idea of an upgrade so I'll probably have this for the rest of my life and it might bug me. Is there maybe a way I could bring it up without making him feel bad if he's already bought it?

Wow, sorry, this was a really long post just to ask a simple question. It's just been bugging me!

 

[slg47]

I would say something...maybe show him some of the AVCs/show him a video?

 

[Mashira]

I think if it came up on conversation I would mention it offhandedly, but not make a big deal of it. Pretend to be looking at diamonds on WF or where ever it is you look, pull up two cushions (crushed ice, and AVC) show them to him (if he asks what you're doing) and say something like, "I like cushions, but the look of this one (AVC) is much more beautiful than this one (crushed ice) to me. What do you think?" This way you have dropped the hint, but because you're not making a big to-do about it he wouldn't/shouldn't feel too bad if he's already bought one.

 

[beezygal]

I think you should say something. Don't purposely bring it up. You can kinda sneak it in. Then he knows what you like best. At the end of the day, if he really can't afford that, at least you told him. So that you won't be like "I should have told him then maybe I can get a AVC." no regrets, you know?

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

Hmm that's an idea. I guess I'm probably gonna have to say something. I just always worry about hurting his feelings. I want him to feel like he did a great job on picking out the ring. I just know that I'm not good at keeping disappointment from my face when i don't like something. Does that sound bad? I'm sure I'll just be excited that he proposed and I probably will hardly notice the ring... maybe lol

 

[Mashira]

*giggles* I understand what you mean, and it's very sweet of you to consider his feelings. If you are worried that it will hurt his feelings, maybe you shouldn't say anything (you know him better than we do). I honestly think right now, because we are LIW, we are obsessing over the ring. But to me, the fact of the matter is, I know that 10yrs down the line I won't give a rats behind about the ring, just the fact that we're married. So I guess it depends on how important it is to you. (That is not to suggest that you shouldn't care about the ring, because most girls, including myself do. But how much will it really matter 10 years from now, you know?)

 

[Indylady]

Yes. I'd just be direct though, I find hints that are secretly bigger desires to be confusing, and it may be hard for him to pick up even if he hasn't bought the diamond yet. Good luck!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I would say something and I would also be very very direct about it. He will prefer knowing now, even if he got it and has to return it, than finding out after that you are not happy.

I would prepare a document with some links to the types of stones you love and e-mail it to him. "Honey, I just wanted to tell you that I have been drooling over diamonds and have fallen head over heels with this style of cushion --XX -- more than anything else in the world I want one like this. I just wanted to tell you now because I love you so much and I want our someday proposal to be really special for both of us and so I wanted to give you this information so that we are on the same page!" Or something like that

 

[mary poppins]

Say something directly, purposefully, without hinting and without pretending that you "just happened to be looking at rings." If you want your SO to know something, tactfully and respectfully say what it is you want the him to know. You will be marrying him and thus need to communicate effectively about this and other, more important matters for the rest of your life.

You: Hey, did you say the other day that you like X kind of stones?
SO: Yes, I like them better than Y kind of stones.
You: So do I. I'll show you my favorite kind of X stones or I was poking around the computer the other day and found the kind of X stone I think I like best. <go to computer> <explain the features of your favorite X stone so he knows how to shop for it, suggest going to store to look at that type of stone> Wouldn't that be cool if we could look at X kind of stone for the rest of our lives? (implying that it will be on your finger).
SO to himself: Yay, now I know what kind of stone she loves. That will make ring shopping much easier and I know she'll be happy with what I get. OR Uh oh, I got her a different stone. Maybe I could look into exchanging it. OR he can explain whether he likes that kind or not and you can discuss a possible compromise.

Alternative. Hint, leave computer open to screen with ring you like, say something wishy-washy, beat around the bush. Wonder whether he "got it." Be disappointed when you come to find out that he purchased something else for you because he didn't understand that you wanted something in particular.

Good luck, have fun and enjoy the pre-engagement stage of your relationship! It's a very exciting time!!

 

[luckynumber]

hinting + wishing + hoping + coyly giggling in the corner = disappointment on the sparkly front

 

[shihtzulover]

I would tell him. If it's this important to you, then you probably won't ever truly be happy with the other type of cut. Also, the longer you wait, the more you risk it being too late.

Good luck!

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

I told him last night and I think I did it well

I showed him a video from GOG that compared a vintage, an AVC, and a modern cut cushion. It was a great video and really helped give him a visual. He seemed really interested and asked which one I liked best and I told him the AVC was my favorite but that I really thought they were all beautiful. I told him that you have to be careful when getting a modern cut cushion because many of them have a "crushed ice" look and I didn't care for it. I showed him a picture and he immediately said "eww I see what you mean".

So, overall I think I got my point across. From the way he acted I don't think he's bought the ring so hopefully this pointed him in the right direction. I showed him the GOG website and told him how great everyone says they are to work with so maybe he'll go with them. Really the rest is up to him and I'm looking forward to being surprised!

Thanks everyone for your input and advice. It really helped me feel more comfortable about my decision to say something. We have a great relationship and both give our opinions equally. It's not that I was scared to say something I just really want him to feel confident in the choice he makes without too much say from me. He knows what I like so I trust him completely. Thanks again!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Good for you! I always think it is the best thing to directly communicate your wishes to your partner, and hopefully this will be just the first of many times when you will both talk openly about things that are important to you!

 

[junebug17]

I'm late in responding, but I'm so glad you let him know your preferences and he was receptive, things worked out perfectly! When all is said and done, I think the majority of bf's really want to get something their gf will love.