Ho Hum

[Codependent Gal]

You know when guys make little comments to their friends such as "I''m going to marry that girl" when they see their girlfriend across the room, or when they have that look of adoration when they are talking about or looking at their girlfriends and it makes it so obvious that he is totally and completely in love with her? I find myself wondering if my boyfriend ever looks at me like that, or if he ever remarks that he is going to marry me. For some reason I doubt that he does. This post is pretty pointless, but I am just wondering if anyone else feels the same way about their boyfriends.

 

[LegacyGirl]

If you don''t think he feels that way about you then why are you with him? It would break my heart if I thought my SO was like that.

 

[mimzy]

i think the scenario you''re describing is a little more drew barrymore/reese witherspoon than real life. sure there are the outliers that will say things like that in a crowded room or that consciously look "adoringly" at their girlfriends, but i think the majority of guys are pretty private with stuff like that. i think it matters a lot more how they treat you than how much they gush about you to their friends. if you FEEL like they adore you, that is a lot more telling than how much they can convey that with puppy eyes

my FI would mention that we were going to get married around his family, but i doubt he ever said anything to his friends. and every once in awhile he''ll look at me in a rather pointed way when he is about to tell me he thinks i''m pretty or something, but it''s not EVERY look, EVERY day, if you know what i mean.

 

[choro72]

I don''t think my BF thinks that way. Heck, even I don''t drool over him. At least not in public. It doesn''t mean we are in bad terms though. We like to keep our head level, and we''ve passed that "fireworks" stage a long time ago.
I think what''s happening is that for our case it''s "a given" that I''m going to be his wife sometime soon. It''s so natural, that there is nothing to exclaim about. I don''t know if I''m explaining it correctly...We don''t goggle over each other, but we squeeze our hands and make little gestures of acknowledging affection.

 

[diamondfan]

Some guys are not big talkers. I would not mind the lack of that stuff as long as I felt he loved me. One does not have to say those things to feel them. So, unless I thought he did not love me that would not bother me. If you are on the same page overall, it should be fine. The loving looks, well, he might be doing them when you do not notice!

 

[smiles]

i definately agree that most guys keep this type of information private... i would never think my bf says those things to his friends (who are mostly living the single university life) but once in a while someone will come up to me and be like... you know the other day i was talking to J about how long you guys have been together and he said "but arent you happy for me? like ive found the perfect girl for me"
so i would bet you that your bf has thoughts of adoration and just vocalizes them very rarely... if you wanna hear it id try doing it for him first... see the reaction.... me and my bf have a running joke of when we get caught staring at the other person and they ask whatswrong? (cuz if youre looking at them that way they might be wondering whats up?) we say "just lookin"!
this was long sry!

 

[moderatelypoorstudent]

Movie quality romance is definitely not common, but also I think one or two movie-ish gestures are not uncommon. Perhaps your guy''s movie gesture isn''t the "i can''t wait to marry her" announced very publicly, but I hope you can think of one or two instances where he was such a romantic.

My SO did say something on other order of "I think I''ve met my future wife" pretty early on... but he also leaves his socks all over the house and left a can of open beans in the sink once...

I think it''s nice when men try to be romantic, but I also think you have to let them be romantic in their own way.

 

[star sparkle]

I don''t think my BF talks about me like that, but he said all of his coworkers refer to me as his "wife."

 

[Smurfysmiles]

my bf has done a pizza commercial where his name it was "hotslice" and as a result his friends refer to me as mrs. hotslice when they see me. that''s about all i can think of lol

 

[honey22]

I have just decided that men are from another planet and they just do stuff differently. I doubt my man gushes over me like that, and I have no doubt of his feelings. He is more likely to see my name calling on his mobile at work and make some remark about 'the woman calling me to hassle again' or something along those lines. Since buying the ering, he has affectionately given me the ring tone on his phone - Golddigger by Kanye West. It's a souce of entertainment for him and his mates at work, they all have a good giggle and I am fine with it. I know he loves me. I also know that if any of his friends seriously called me a golddigger, he would defend me totally. In a wierd roundabout way, that's kind of a sign of affection I guess.

I think some guys are just not comfortable telling their mates that they will marry her etc. I think they are just more 'blokey'

Anway, I guess this was a pointless response but I hope it helped

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 2/21/2008 1:54:55 AM
Author: honey22
I have just decided that men are from another planet and they just do stuff differently. I doubt my man gushes over me like that, and I have no doubt of his feelings. He is more likely to see my name calling on his mobile at work and make some remark about ''the woman calling me to hassle again'' or something along those lines. Since buying the ering, he has affectionately given me the ring tone on his phone - Golddigger by Kanye West. It''s a souce of entertainment for him and his mates at work, they all have a good giggle and I am fine with it. I know he loves me. I also know that if any of his friends seriously called me a golddigger, he would defend me totally. In a wierd roundabout way, that''s kind of a sign of affection I guess.

I think some guys are just not comfortable telling their mates that they will marry her etc. I think they are just more ''blokey''

Anway, I guess this was a pointless response but I hope it helped

Awww honey!! This response made me laugh! Mine is very similar. He sometimes refers to me as "tax break". That is really awesome about the ringtone though. I''d laugh if I heard that and knew the story too!

 

[choro72]

Date: 2/21/2008 1:54:55 AM
Author: honey22
I have just decided that men are from another planet and they just do stuff differently. I doubt my man gushes over me like that, and I have no doubt of his feelings. He is more likely to see my name calling on his mobile at work and make some remark about ''the woman calling me to hassle again'' or something along those lines. Since buying the ering, he has affectionately given me the ring tone on his phone - Golddigger by Kanye West. It''s a souce of entertainment for him and his mates at work, they all have a good giggle and I am fine with it. I know he loves me. I also know that if any of his friends seriously called me a golddigger, he would defend me totally. In a wierd roundabout way, that''s kind of a sign of affection I guess.


I think some guys are just not comfortable telling their mates that they will marry her etc. I think they are just more ''blokey''


Anway, I guess this was a pointless response but I hope it helped

Haha, your man sounds like fun!

 

[TravelingGal]

I think TGuy was more romantic in that way before we got married. Apparently he seemed crazy about me in front of his friends back in Oz. That craziness helped him get to the U.S., I think...

Now that we''re married...he''s just back to being his blokey self, not that that''s a bad thing. So note to you ladies...it''s what they are like after the wedding that counts!

 

[bee*]

D doesn''t openly gush to everyone about how much he loves me when he''s with everyone in public but behind closed doors he''ll tell me. I agree with mimzy in that most men are not like that in public, they prefer to be more blokey. Sure it''d be nice if they were more romantic in public sometimes but unless you doubt his feelings for you are completely sincere, I wouldn''t worry about it.

 

[Erin]

I had one of our friends stand in front of both of us in a crowded room and give him a squeezy saying, well, you definitely traded up. (he was married before)
I need to find a girl like this, smart, funny, beautiful, and lets me play golf without nagging. Then he squeezes me, laughing away.

Bf didn''t say a word. Didn''t nod his head in agreement. Nothing. Then I shoot him that raised eyebrow look implying... Weeelllllll?

He says, I''m sorry. I have a hard time giving compliments. I get really uncomfortable. It''s just a problem I''ve always had.

But his day to day actions are so very sweet in every choice he makes around me. He''s a hand holder. I catch him looking at me. He shoots me the biggest grin sometimes. He''ll walk by and kiss my forehead - I love that.

Actions speak louder than words. It''d be nice to hear things outloud but I don''t need that to know how he feels.

 

[Independent Gal]

My FI is extremely affectionate in private and is always saying loving and kind things. Sometimes I tease him that it''s a little much for my unromantic soul to take!

Thankfully, he also says it through actions, always asking if I need anything, how my day was, taking me on romantic dates, being solicitous of my comfort, all those loving things.

He would never be public about it though. In fact, at our pre-wedding party for our local friends, we ''worked the room'' separately, entertaining guests, and barely talked to each other until afterward. I prefer it that way, personally.

Hopefully, all this won''t disappear once we''re married! But if it diminishes a bit, that would be OK. It sometimes makes me feel inadequate since I''m definitely not as romantic or demonstrative as he is.

 

[gwendolyn]

I''ve heard a few times from my friends that they can tell how much J cares about me by the way he looks at me, but those are all from my chick friends, who are all into the romance novels/movies, and kind of have that stuff on the brain. My dude friends might not have realized he was my boyfriend when they first met him, if I hadn''t said so first. They''re all kind of oblivious.

Interestingly, I had a few friends a number of years ago tell me that one of my guy friends always looked at me that way too. This same friend also bought me a pair of diamond studs for Christmas one year. He never asked me out or anything, and he''s been married for over a year now to a lovely lass, but sometimes I wonder if there was every anything there on his end. Perhaps I will never know.

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/21/2008 1:54:55 AM
Author: honey22
I have just decided that men are from another planet and they just do stuff differently. I doubt my man gushes over me like that, and I have no doubt of his feelings. He is more likely to see my name calling on his mobile at work and make some remark about ''the woman calling me to hassle again'' or something along those lines. Since buying the ering, he has affectionately given me the ring tone on his phone - Golddigger by Kanye West. It''s a souce of entertainment for him and his mates at work, they all have a good giggle and I am fine with it. I know he loves me. I also know that if any of his friends seriously called me a golddigger, he would defend me totally. In a wierd roundabout way, that''s kind of a sign of affection I guess.


I think some guys are just not comfortable telling their mates that they will marry her etc. I think they are just more ''blokey''


Anway, I guess this was a pointless response but I hope it helped

Honey, if my BF knew how to change his ringtone I''d think you were engaged to my boyfriend!

Anyways, OP, I can tell you right now that I *know* my BF doesn''t say that. I think what you''re describing is more the way things happen in movies and romance novels than in real life. I mean, sure, it might happen, but it''s hardly the norm. I''d be shocked if I even heard him admit that we want to get married someday. Neither of us is the type to fawn all over each other in public (at least, now that we''re past the honeymoon stage), or make comments about our relationship to other people.

Get your head out of the movies and look at what your relationship really is. It''s very rare to find a guy comfortable enough to say, "That''s who I''m going to marry" to his friends until they''re engaged with a date set, so don''t hold that up as a benchmark. A lot of your posts have seemed really unhappy when you talk about your BF. If you really don''t think he ever looks at you and thinks, "Wow, did I get lucky," then you need to decide whether you''re okay with that in a relationship.