Home buying woes

[nebe]

Who else has been through bidding disappointments?

We're currently looking for a condo in a nice community about 15 miles away from where we rent now. We've looked at 3 units that were on the higher end of the price spec, bid on one but were countered and finally found a really nice one last week for $12k less. So excited, we had to wait until Mon to take a look at it because of our agent's schedule. So we did, but in the meantime, someone else bid on it. We asked for consideration and bid as well. FH didn't listen to me and go with the asking price (which included $2k closing costs!). Our real estate agent suggested we ask for several small things that added up to a few thousand more and even though I protested, FH decided to do what she said. We lost the home in the end. I'm so depressed about it. I tried so hard not to get my hopes up but I still feel like I did. It feels like we won't find a home for several more months (if not a year) and in the meantime I'm stuck renting from someone I do not like, in a place I really can't stand with no where else to go.

Has anyone else had problems with home buying? I hate the whole looking, considering, bidding process. It's really stressful and terribly disappointing most of the time. Like your whole life depends on what someone else decides (whether or not they accept offers, ect) and their schedule. Yuck! How do/did you deal with the uncertainty of it all?

 

[Linda W]

nebe,

We haven''t as we already own a home, but my husband''s brother''s son has. He is 33 and he and his wife want to buy their first home. The have hit disappointment after disappointment. All we can say is, the right one will come along. I know it doesn''t say much, but keep good thoughts.

 

[purrfectpear]

It''s a buyer''s market but I still recommend a full asking offer if you REALLY love it, and the price is supported by comps.

When you look at an extra few thousand to secure your dream home, the difference in a monthy payment is usually negligible. It could add up over a 30 year mortgage, but most people sell in the first 10 years anyway (especially a condo).

I only negotiate when I''m prepared to walk away.

 

[Hera]

Date: 7/1/2008 8:29:41 PM
Author: purrfectpear
It''s a buyer''s market but I still recommend a full asking offer if you REALLY love it, and the price is supported by comps.

When you look at an extra few thousand to secure your dream home, the difference in a monthy payment is usually negligible. It could add up over a 30 year mortgage, but most people sell in the first 10 years anyway (especially a condo).

I only negotiate when I''m prepared to walk away.

That sounds like really good advice. Advice I think I would have liked to have about one week ago

I might have lost a house for not giving the full asking price on a great deal.

 

[KCCutie]

I''m right there with you!

WE have chosen a fairly small neighborhood as our search area b/c it really is exactly what we want and I swear we have been in every house in those 10 blocks. We drove by and saw one we thought we really like and by the time we called our agent it was already under contract. Then we found on we like but it was a FSBO, we made and offer and they countered with the full listed price so we walked away. While we were making an offer on that one a really cute REO in good condition came up and before we could even look at it, you guessed it, it was sold. Finally we found a home we really like right in the right area and we out in an offer and then we find out it''s a short sale and will take 90 days to close.

We''re starting to feel like this will never end but we''re staying on track with this last home if it takes 90 days then so be it. We haven''t seen anything else we liked as much so now we just pray nothing else goes wrong before the 90 days are up.

Just hang in there now that we''ve seen this home we''re glad we didn''t get the one we put our first offer on. There really is a reason for everything just keep reminding yourself something better will come along and it will.

 

[BriBee]

I definitely feel your pain. FI and I finally went into contract on a house and it''s STILL been a nightmare. We were supposed to close on May 30th and for a myriad of reasons that weren''t even our fault, we still haven''t closed!!! We''ve had to have an appraisal, an appraisal review, and a second appraisal (and had to pay for all 3 things)!!!
The process can definitely be very frustrating and scary, and we''ve been under so much stress just waiting for everything to come through so we can close! It''s so nerve-wracking to not know whether we''ll finally get into the house after all this time. All I can say is to just hang in there. I believe everything happens for a reason, so if you haven''t gotten your dream house yet, it probably just means that something better is waiting for you. Good luck!!!

 

[Aloros]

Oh man, I know how you feel. FI and I went through the bidding process and lost out on THREE houses (not including the one we were about to offer on, but sold before we could) before we found our house. We offered above asking on all of those houses, going as far as 30k over. Nuts, huh? It''s such a rollercoaster of emotions, and left us both on pins and needles for week after week.

All I can say is that you WILL find the right house for you.

I''m really happy we got the house that we did. Despite going over asking (again), looking at the comps we got a great deal on it. It''s in really good condition and is just perfect for us.

Good luck!

 

[Independent Gal]

It's normal to be disappointed a few times before you find the right one. I was in a bidding war with two other buyers on a place I loved (and obviously, I wasn't the only one who loved it), but it's important to keep your head and not offer more than you can afford. I found another place I love almost as much and I don't have sleepless nights about the mortgage, as I would have if I'd gone any higher on the other one.

And if you think this is anxious an uncertain, just think of all the other things in life that are! Pregnancy! Parenthood! Waiting to hear about a dream job! Or whether you got into a degree you want!

And then imagine life if everything WAS certain. Wouldn't that be dull?

Nessa are you buying this place together? As in joint ownership? If so, you may want to consider some kind of legal arrangement until you're married to make sure things stay fair.

 

[nebe]

Thank you for all the kind, hopeful comments and advice! We haven't heard back about an offer we put in on the original (overpriced!) condo. We're supposed to know tomorrow, fingers crossed!

Date: 7/2/2008 5:49:50 PM
Author: Independent Gal

Nessa are you buying this place together? As in joint ownership? If so, you may want to consider some kind of legal arrangement until you're married to make sure things stay fair.

No, the home will be in his name until we do marry as I'm not putting any money down. After that we've decided that in the event of a divorce, he'll pay me any documented amount I've paid towards the mortgage and keep the home. In the event of his death, I'll retain rights to it after commonlaw marriage sets in if we don't walk down the isle- which is good because I won't be out on the street if GOD FORBID, anything happens to him because he has a very dangerous job. Unless we marry, I'll be formally renting from him for $300 a month. (this all applies to any other property we buy between now and in-the-event-of)

I'm NOT going to get myself into another situation where I have no rights (which is... my current one). Plus I get to claim rent, which we help me tax-wise. We've already talked this all through and set aside money for a lawyer to make it all legal, which is great since we both completely agree with eachother.

Now if we could just find a darn place...