Hi, everyone - I''m new here. My boyfriend and I will probably be getting engaged this fall (with help from pricescope education!).
I''m from a very small town an hour outside of Cincinnati. I''ve lived in the Chicago area for 9 years, 5 of them living with my boyfriend. Which is actually longer than I spent in my "hometown", as we moved there when I was 11. My boyfriend and I REALLY want our wedding here. The city means so much to us, this is where we met, live, work, and plan on living for a while.
So, I had a conversation with my mom about location because my parents went to a wedding of a girl I went to high school with, which was held in Cincinnati. This girl''s father is an opthalmalogist in our town, my dad is a dentist, and so I think he saw how all the "business professionals" that run in his circle were there and lots of people from our town in general went as well. He made a comment about how the venue would be nice for my/my sister''s weddings. My mom mentioned this to me and she pretty much told me this would be a very large fight when it''s time, because he feels that since he''s paying he should have say on where it is.
I have emotional reasons for wanting it in Chicago, but I also feel like having it in Cincy would mean that we''d have a lot less of our own guests and isn''t as practical. A lot of our friends here are grad students with not a lot of money/time/flexibility to travel; I also don''t think many of my work colleagues able to go. I, further, am in school right now and don''t like the idea of having to go back and forth to Cincinnati while I have a fulltime job and school to juggle as well. And finally, my boyfriend may be starting law school next year and I feel like this just makes it so much more difficult as he will be in his 1st semester and that it would be harder to deal with a wedding if it was long distance and may have to miss more school. My parents, however, have very flexible schedules and it would be easier for my mom to help plan long distance than vice versa.
The final issue is that my dad and I can be extremely argumentative. He''s got a temper and is incredibly stubborn, which I got from him. I also feel like he still thinks of me like I''m 16 and can tell me what to do and yell at me the same way as when I was in high school. I love my dad a lot and we get along incredibly well the majority of the time, but as I''ve gotten older there''s definitely power struggle when we get in arguments (which doesn''t happen that often, it''s just typically bad when it does happen).
I don''t want this to be a "thing" and start out my engagement badly, but I feel incredibly strongly about having the wedding here. But they are also paying. Bottom line - should I make this a fight I pick or not? Has anyone else had to do this when their parents were paying? I appreciate his point of view, but Cincinnati is just so not a meaningful place for me to get married at all and I want where I get married to mean something to me and I also want to be able to do as much planning in person and not via my mother and through pictures, etc.
Thanks for any advice! You guys have all been so helpful indirectly as I''ve been lurking for months and reading all kinds of great stories and advice from everyone on these boards!!
I''m from a very small town an hour outside of Cincinnati. I''ve lived in the Chicago area for 9 years, 5 of them living with my boyfriend. Which is actually longer than I spent in my "hometown", as we moved there when I was 11. My boyfriend and I REALLY want our wedding here. The city means so much to us, this is where we met, live, work, and plan on living for a while.
So, I had a conversation with my mom about location because my parents went to a wedding of a girl I went to high school with, which was held in Cincinnati. This girl''s father is an opthalmalogist in our town, my dad is a dentist, and so I think he saw how all the "business professionals" that run in his circle were there and lots of people from our town in general went as well. He made a comment about how the venue would be nice for my/my sister''s weddings. My mom mentioned this to me and she pretty much told me this would be a very large fight when it''s time, because he feels that since he''s paying he should have say on where it is.
I have emotional reasons for wanting it in Chicago, but I also feel like having it in Cincy would mean that we''d have a lot less of our own guests and isn''t as practical. A lot of our friends here are grad students with not a lot of money/time/flexibility to travel; I also don''t think many of my work colleagues able to go. I, further, am in school right now and don''t like the idea of having to go back and forth to Cincinnati while I have a fulltime job and school to juggle as well. And finally, my boyfriend may be starting law school next year and I feel like this just makes it so much more difficult as he will be in his 1st semester and that it would be harder to deal with a wedding if it was long distance and may have to miss more school. My parents, however, have very flexible schedules and it would be easier for my mom to help plan long distance than vice versa.
The final issue is that my dad and I can be extremely argumentative. He''s got a temper and is incredibly stubborn, which I got from him. I also feel like he still thinks of me like I''m 16 and can tell me what to do and yell at me the same way as when I was in high school. I love my dad a lot and we get along incredibly well the majority of the time, but as I''ve gotten older there''s definitely power struggle when we get in arguments (which doesn''t happen that often, it''s just typically bad when it does happen).
I don''t want this to be a "thing" and start out my engagement badly, but I feel incredibly strongly about having the wedding here. But they are also paying. Bottom line - should I make this a fight I pick or not? Has anyone else had to do this when their parents were paying? I appreciate his point of view, but Cincinnati is just so not a meaningful place for me to get married at all and I want where I get married to mean something to me and I also want to be able to do as much planning in person and not via my mother and through pictures, etc.
Thanks for any advice! You guys have all been so helpful indirectly as I''ve been lurking for months and reading all kinds of great stories and advice from everyone on these boards!!