How big is too big - sapphire

[torontocatlady]

Hi fellow PSers,

Just wanted to gauge your guys thoughts on this. Fiance and I have been shopping for the perfect sapphire for an engagement ring and we're looking in the 3-4ct range. I've begun to wonder - how practical is this size? I love the look and feel of it but do any of you guys have experience with large sapphires/rubies on your e-rings?

I'm worried it may become cumbersome for daily wear and my nightmare is that it will chip or crack. Any problems with durability? Any tips?

 

[Bluegemz]

Hi fellow PSers,

Just wanted to gauge your guys thoughts on this. Fiance and I have been shopping for the perfect sapphire for an engagement ring and we're looking in the 3-4ct range. I've begun to wonder - how practical is this size? I love the look and feel of it but do any of you guys have experience with large sapphires/rubies on your e-rings?

I'm worried it may become cumbersome for daily wear and my nightmare is that it will chip or crack. Any problems with durability? Any tips?

Hi! I wear a sapphire ring which is around 4.5 carats if I were to round it up. I just can’t remember exactly after the years lol. I have hands that are on the longer side, so it works for me proportionally. 2-3 carats I think would look good on anyone. It’s held up well and has always been a size that is fun to look at. The bigger the stone is, the more one can gaze into the stone, which is really fun to do. My setting has 2 quarters of the perimeter of the girdle exposed. The girdle there has gotten more wear than the rest of it, ( micro abrasions and a tiny chip when i put on a tight jade bangle, which scratched the jade and took a tiny flea bite of the sapphire. I knew that this would likely eventually happen, but I loved the setting so much, it seemed worth the risk.) All in all, it’s held up pretty well. But more protective settings add to the longevity of preserving the original polish. I know that after decades, I might have to get it repolished, or be ok with the history of the wear. It’s never been cumbersome to me personally, but I take it off when doing rough hand work. Sapphire is very strong, but like any gem, they can show facet wear after many years of wear. No gem, including diamond, is completely risk free as diamonds can shatter, cleave and chip too.

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

This is just me, and I know everybody is different. That size would limit how much I could wear it. (Spinning around from the weight messes with my dexterity.) It wouldn’t be ideal for an everyday ring. But there are people here who can’t wear solitaires at work because of gloves, etc. It really depends on your lifestyle and activities. I think a lot of people would be thrilled to have an engagement stone that large!

 

[Bluegemz]

Spinning is an important issue. You could have a squared band to prevent that if it feels like it will spin, or a lower profile and balanced weight across the top. Spinning is definitely cumbersome lol.

 

[SparkliesLuver]

Honestly, I think this is something that only your fiance can answer (to be truly helpful). What's her style? What's her activity level? Does she wear jewelry regularly? If so, is she hard on her hands? Does she like larger rings? I'd express your concern(s) with her and see how she responds. If she's unsure of the size, you could buy a size-equivalent piece of costume jewelry and have her wear it for a couple weeks.

ETA: Sorry, I couldn't tell if you were the ring-wearer or not! My apologies - long week.

 

[torontocatlady]

Interesting thoughts! I guess squaring the band makes sense and wasn't actually something I'd considered. We were originally thinking a trilogy design but we're now thinking that a halo or bezel would be more protective.
@Bluegemz if yours is the one in your picture, I looooove it My fingers are significantly shorter than yours though! Do you leave it on doing daily activities or take it off e.g. gardening, washing dishes..?
I'm worried because I had this gorgeous smoky topaz ring once upon a time that I banged on a cabinet and scratched it. I haven't been able to find a jeweller to re-set it as the gold work is very delicate. A little clumsy over here!

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

I take my gemstone rings off for gardening, doing housework and cat chores for six, basically most things around the house. I am pretty active and tomboyish. I leave my gold wedding bands on all the time. I see a lot of ladies who never take their engagement rings off though. A lower profile where the center stone doesn’t sit up so high can make it more wearable.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

A sapphire is likely to obtain some facet abrasions over the years if it is worn daily. For this reason I would stay away from a bezel setting. The setting would most likely be ruined when you need to remove the sapphire to re-polish it. I have seen some nice work from cutters who have re-polished gemstones with very little weight loss.

 

[chrono]

No spinning but definitely remove mine as soon as I get home, so no housework with it on.

 

[lovedogs]

I definitely think that size is a relative thing and depends on your lifestyle, finger size, comfort, etc.

That said, I found this website really helpful for visualizing how big something would look on my finger. You can put in the dimensions of the stone you are considering (obviously the website is for diamonds, so ignore if it tells you the dimensions are "bad"--colored stones and diamonds are cut very differently). But it might help show you size relative to your finger, which is why I like it.

https://www.diamdb.com/diamond/1ct-round/

 

[torontocatlady]

That said, I found this website really helpful for visualizing how big something would look on my finger. You can put in the dimensions of the stone you are considering (obviously the website is for diamonds, so ignore if it tells you the dimensions are "bad"--colored stones and diamonds are cut very differently). But it might help show you size relative to your finger, which is why I like it.
https://www.diamdb.com/diamond/1ct-round/

This is AMAZING!!!!

 

[torontocatlady]

I take my gemstone rings off for gardening, doing housework and cat chores for six, basically most things around the house. I am pretty active and tomboyish. I leave my gold wedding bands on all the time. I see a lot of ladies who never take their engagement rings off though. A lower profile where the center stone doesn’t sit up so high can make it more wearable.

This sounds a lot like me too. I have cat chores and I bike ride to work/groceries. Gardening, cleaning etc. So I guess the consensus is take it off!

 

[Acinom]

5.54 ct sapphire here. It does not spin aa it is not top heavy and the sizing is perfect. I also wear a 5.3 ct OEC diamond that does not spin.
The sapphire still looks like new and I only take my rings off at night. I am more careful with my hand than I used to be though.

 

[torontocatlady]

@Acinom I'll take any opportunity I can get to look at your dreamy sapphire! Can I ask what size your finger is for reference?

 

[Acinom]

@Acinom I'll take any opportunity I can get to look at your dreamy sapphire! Can I ask what size your finger is for reference?

Thank you! My finger size on my left hand is 5.5 - 5.75

 

[Bluegemz]

Interesting thoughts! I guess squaring the band makes sense and wasn't actually something I'd considered. We were originally thinking a trilogy design but we're now thinking that a halo or bezel would be more protective.
@Bluegemz if yours is the one in your picture, I looooove it My fingers are significantly shorter than yours though! Do you leave it on doing daily activities or take it off e.g. gardening, washing dishes..?
I'm worried because I had this gorgeous smoky topaz ring once upon a time that I banged on a cabinet and scratched it. I haven't been able to find a jeweller to re-set it as the gold work is very delicate. A little clumsy over here!

Thankyou! I take it off when i get home in the evenings, but wear it days, home or not. I don’t wear it for gardening or cooking. Partially because I want it to stay clean. My ring finger for reference is about 7.5.

 

[LJsapphire]

Mine is under 2 carats (can't remember the exact spec, 1.6 perhaps), it's fine for me. It's quite shallow so I believe it would be classed as "spready" ?
But I'm in the UK and people don't have big rings. Mine is one of the biggest of people I know.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

5.54 ct sapphire here. It does not spin aa it is not top heavy and the sizing is perfect. I also wear a 5.3 ct OEC diamond that does not spin.
The sapphire still looks like new and I only take my rings off at night. I am more careful with my hand than I used to be though.

My all time favorite sapphire ring on PS. I can't even be jealous because it is owned by perhaps the nicest member on PS.

 

[Arcadian]

Thats 32cts. not a bad size....

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Mine is app. 4.5 carats and I am very careful with it. Don't wear it as much as I should....lol

cheers--Sharon

 

[ChanterelleJ]

Mine is 5.30 cts and I wear it every day. I wish it were 1 or 2 cts more, that would flatter my size 8 fingers. No spinning issues either. My jeweler once told me that he makes big rings a wee bit smaller in size than what the customer usually wears. That does the trick at least for me.

 

[Catmom]

Mine is 4.76 cts. It doesn't spin at all. While I don't wear it every day I do wear it quite often. I also don't take it off much unless I am cooking and sticking my hands in gunky stuff, lol. So far it still looks new, no chips, dings or scratches and I've had it a long time. My finger I wear it on is a size 5. The size doesn't bother me at all.

 

[torontocatlady]

Thank you @Catmom @ChanterelleJ @canuk-gal for your thoughtful answers! Totally appreciated!

 

[meely]

No 4 carat sapphire here but I do have a big ring that never spins, it's got a euroshank.
My engagement ring is very top heavy, my fingers go up and down a lot in size so I had it made bigger then put in sizing beads to get in down to my usual size, it turns to the side bit but does not spin, tbh I think it's slightly too big if I went down a size more with the beads it probably wouldn't turn at all.
Maybe a euroshank or sizing beads could work for you?
Also and I hope you don't think I'm being too opinionated, take it or leave it lol but -
If you initially wanted a trilogy design I would go for this rather than compromise, maybe look at a delicate bezel setting to offer some additional protection.
Also a more general comment, whilst sensible to take care of your ring and take it off for chores/sports etc it seems a shame to not enjoy wearing something because you are so worried about damaging it, takes a lot of pleasure out of it imho.

 

[Bluegemz]

No 4 carat sapphire here but I do have a big ring that never spins, it's got a euroshank.
My engagement ring is very top heavy, my fingers go up and down a lot in size so I had it made bigger then put in sizing beads to get in down to my usual size, it turns to the side bit but does not spin, tbh I think it's slightly too big if I went down a size more with the beads it probably wouldn't turn at all.
Maybe a euroshank or sizing beads could work for you?
Also and I hope you don't think I'm being too opinionated, take it or leave it lol but -
If you initially wanted a trilogy design I would go for this rather than compromise, maybe look at a delicate bezel setting to offer some additional protection.
Also a more general comment, whilst sensible to take care of your ring and take it off for chores/sports etc it seems a shame to not enjoy wearing something because you are so worried about damaging it, takes a lot of pleasure out of it imho.

I agree with you, what’s the point of not enjoying a piece fully? I hate feeling restricted that way after having collected a few pieces which I do have to be careful of. It’s a dampener for sure. That’s why I wasn’t too worried about an exposed setting with my ering. I have another sapphire ring which is over 100 years old. The stones definitely show facet wear, but I love how the history shows, which is inevitable with wear, and that I can wear it without worry at all.

 

[LilAlex]

Spouse's is ~ 3 ct and prong-set but low. She wears it all day, every day and is very active. It takes a fair amount of abuse but it's from the '20s and already has some abrasion on all the meet points (immediately visible with a loupe) so there's no way to tell what damage is new. We liked that -- no worrying about that new-car first door-ding! She's had it for about a decade and it looks almost like new. She's ~ 5'10" with average build and finger size. For comparison, she has a 6.5-ct one that's fairy deep but it's way too big and statement-y -- never leaves the safe deposit box.