How did you know he/she is

[lilyfoot]

ETA: the last few words of my topic got eaten up! It's supposed to say "How did you know he/she is "the One"

The LIW forum has been so depressing lately! So this is a mood-lifter topic...

How/when did you know your BF/GF was the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?

I don't really have a specific moment. There have been so many smaller events that have shown me that he's definitely the type of guy I want as a husband! Everything matches up: our morals, our financial habits, the way we want to raise our kids, etc.

It sounds corny, but honestly, I'm reminded daily why he's the one by his actions. I know I'm a lucky girl! He is the only person (including friends/family), I've ever been able to truly be myself with, and trust in completely. All he wants to do is make me happy, and that's a beautiful thing!

So ladies, share your stories!

 

[dragonfly411]

despite recent problems I''d like to respond. I knew within the first 6 months. I was slower to say yes this is "The One" than he was, but I knew right away that he had the morals that I wanted, he had the positive attitude and outlook I wanted, he shared the same Southern heritage, and we love many of the same things. We both love to be out in nature, we love hiking, camping, fishing, riding bikes, hunting, swimming. We both love comedy, and we both love country music. We both enjoy good cooking, and we both LOVE to cook! We both love animals, and we love to rescue them. We''ve had two rescues we have rehabbed, and adopted a rescue recently. we both love the colors green and blue. We both love antique furniture. We both love the coast, and love history, and fortunately he appreciates photography as much as me. Although he isn''t the BEST rider in the world, he loves horses, which is good, b/c I can''t live without them. We both like to travel, and have done our fair share together. We like kayaking, and I''m hoping he''ll like rock climbing when we DO get him there to try it (time and money and all). We both like riding ATV. We both love adventure and are very spontaneous. We''ll drop whatever we''re doing and drive two hours to the coast to eat on a whim. We both like crafts. We both like clothes.... yes.... clothes lol. I think he has more than me... he denies it. He is fantastic with children, and his little sister''s friends all love him. Most young boys look up to him, and he tries so hard to be a good role model, and to show them and teach them as much as he can. He''s always helping people, and will take anyone under his wing. He is the one who finds the oddballs and the loners and tries to be friends with them, from poor kids, to those who have mental problems, everyone is his friend. He''s smart, even if he didn''t go to college, he did so b/c of finances and because he''d rather be working on machinery, and has finished some schooling with John Deere. He loves older people (the elderly.. I refuse to call them old), and so do I, they are a wealth of knowledge. He is gentle, well mannered (unless goofing off with my grandfather), and giving. He''ll give a needy person the shirt off of his back without a second thought. He get''s most of that from his mother, who is extremely giving, caring and helpful, and who also takes people under her wing. He also loves to learn, even if he doesn''t like to read, he''ll be the first person to push his way to the front of a tour group to hear a tour guide better, and the first person to ask someone to show him how to do something if he doesn''t know how. And he helps me with math

 

[winelover23]

Ooooh good question!

I screwed this up so royally bad the first time (I''m divorced) which actually helped my vision of what I wanted the second time around. I actually didn''t think it existed but yay me it did/does!

I knew/know that my BF is the one because A) he makes me laugh which is my FAVORITE! B) He calls me out on my b.s. C) We have fun all the time even when we are just laying in bed reading D) Most importantly, there is nothing I would change about it him. Not even the fact that he slurps EVERYTHING not even the fact that he says "going do" instead of "going to" and not even the fact that he burps like a dog. I think you know it''s the one when you wouldn''t even change the quirks about someone. HE''S MY LOBSTER!

 

[LabRatPhD]

I knew he was the one when I realized that I could be 100% myself (including many flaws and insecurities) around him and he loved me for it! I probably didn''t know for about a year after we started dating because I never gave the idea a chance! I knew I didn''t want to get hurt so I stayed guarded until one day I wanted to let my guard down. He has always been there for me and I know he always will be!

 

[sunnyd]

Hehe I found my lobster too!!

I knew probably 5 months in, he did as well. It wasn''t one specific event, just that I loved the way he made me feel. I could finally be my stupid self around him and he still wanted to be with me!

We share the same family values (something my ex and I lacked hardcore) the biggest thing - I have not once questioned myself about what else could be out there. I don''t care. I found my perfect mate.

 

[princesss]

I never had a specific moment where I said, "Wow, this is it!" I just realized one day that suddenly every vision of the future I had included him.

It''s so easy to be with him. SO easy. We have the same sense of humour, and share enough of the same interests that we can always find something to do together. We''ve also got enough different interests that we''re constantly surprising one another, and helping each other grow. He gets me off of my butt and out doing things, and I get him to be more goal-oriented and focused. We''re both willing to make sacrifices for one another, but neither of us is willing to give up things we feel are essential to being ourselves.

Also, it sounds simple (and almost stupid to say it) but I love HIM. He''s got flaws and quirks and annoying habits, and they make him him. He''s everything I never would have thought to ask for in a partner, but he''s the right combination of soothing and challenging - I''m comfortable and happy with him, and at the same time he''s helping me become a better, smarter, happier person each day.

 

[musey]

I never had a moment. There have been a few "wow, I guess he would make a great husband!" moments scattered throughout our relationship (still havin'' those a year after the wedding!

), but there was no big "he''s the one!" realization.

 

[Tuckins1]

DH and I were very close friends for years before we ever dated. We always wanted to hang out with each other... We could be ourselves, we have similar likes and dislikes, and we already knew each other''s ins and outs. When we finally kissed, it was fireworks and whistles, and we just knew.

 

[monarch64]

Let''s see. When he told me he was going to marry the sh*t out of me, and then when he started telling me he was going to accessorize the sh*t outta my finger. He''s hilarious. Typically I get annoyed by people within the first two weeks of dating...he hasn''t annoyed me AT ALL yet and it''s been like two months. He''s everything I never knew I wanted.

What is this lobster thing? I''m clueless. Fill a girl in, somebody?

 

[trillionaire]

I'm still falling more in love with him, 6+ years later. I think that's a good sign

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 10/22/2009 4:47:37 PM
Author: monarch64
Let''s see. When he told me he was going to marry the sh*t out of me, and then when he started telling me he was going to accessorize the sh*t outta my finger. He''s hilarious. Typically I get annoyed by people within the first two weeks of dating...he hasn''t annoyed me AT ALL yet and it''s been like two months. He''s everything I never knew I wanted.

What is this lobster thing? I''m clueless. Fill a girl in, somebody?

Bahahaha!!!! Now that''s funny!

The lobster thing is from Friends, when Phoebe tells Ross that Rachel is her lobster, because they mate for life.

 

[absolut_blonde]

Well, I could write a novel, but I will spare you all!

Like princess said, it's just so easy. We fit. We have our squabbles, but they are the result of outside stressors or about silly little things - they are never about values or other serious issues. He really is my best friend. I'm completely at ease with him, which is not an easy feat for me since I tend to be a bit closed-off.

We have fun, we respect each other, we admire each other. I think we really balance each other out. We are a team.

Also, I know that he will stand by me no matter what. Truly in sickness and in health. I have my share of issues, mainly depression and anxiety. Due to a great deal of stress as of late, my anxiety (mostly GAD but sometimes it makes me a bit OCD about certain things too) has been out of control. He not only puts up with my neuroses, he helps me by doing things like locking up the house at night (if I do it I'll check and re-check) and taking our kitty to the vet even though it was just me being a worrywart.

I also have the perspective of having had a handful of other relationships to really make me appreciate this one. Nothing is perfect, but this is as close as it gets!

 

[4ever]

Simple; he makes me happy like no one has before, we fit together well and he loves me for me.

 

[babycush]

I don''t have a moment where I knew 100%, but I do have a moment where I got mighty suspicious.

We had been dating for maybe two months, and it was still sort of casual. Once night we got some milkshakes (from Cookout- for anyone from NC) and then drove to a park to enjoy them. I was looking through his iPod and found that he had a huge collection of classical music. My mom is a professional violinist, and my parents met when playing in an orchestra together in college, so music has always been a big part of my life. Having a conversation with him about composers and musical history, while drinking the greatest milkshake ever, was just a wonderfully surprising moment. I had no idea that he was so educated and passionate about it, so discovering this about him made me think that what we had could be something very special after all.

 

[MrsHToBe]

Date: 10/22/2009 5:04:15 PM
Author: trillionaire
I''m still falling more in love with him, 6+ years later. I think that''s a good sign

Ditto.
It''s been almost 9 years for us, and I still get the electric shock down my spine when we kiss..

Not to mention, it''s always just been comfortable.. so-much-so that he showed up to our first date in track pants. We started off as friends before we took it any further, though, so, yeah. LOL!

 

[HopeDream]

The lobster story from Friends (on youtube)

 

[Luckyeshe]

When I dated other guys I was always ok thinking of "the breakup". The idea of not being with them never phased me. I knew then that that relationship wasn''t the right one. Then I met my FI and it was totally 100% different. I was myself and he loves me no matter what, even in my bad moody days. He''s the only one I could imagine growing old with and watching the sun set together when we have no teeth left. When I imagine my life without him...I seriously have a heartache so that''s how I knew. I imagined what it would be like single and without him and I just couldn''t do it....My life didn''t feel right without him in it. So that''s how I knew...now he''s stuck with me.

 

[Lilac]

I remember when DH and I first met I was 16 and he was 17. We were both counselors in camp and one night around 2 or 3 days after our first date there was a big party (one of the counselors was making a huge party at his parents' house because they went away) and we both knew there would be a lot of drinking going on there. I remember being so torn about what to do - I assumed DH (then very-new-BF at the time) would want to go, and I really didn't want to disappoint him because every single other 17 year old I knew wanted to go. I felt very uncomfortable going to the party (those types of parties were never really "my thing") and in the end I realized I just had to be honest with him. I told him I would rather not go, and he was SO HAPPY I said that because he said he really didn't want to go either but didn't want to disappoint me. It was then that I realized this was a guy I could really be honest with and didn't have to worry about being myself around him.

Obviously that wasn't the "he's the ONE" moment, but it was one of the early moments in our relationship where I realized I could totally be myself around him and it's only become more and more true as the years have gone by. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together 8 days after our first date - and those feelings just became more and more intense and certain as the weeks, months, and years went on. Each day I fall deeper in love with him and know with absolute certainty that he is the only one for me. He makes me laugh and smile even when I'm in such a bad mood I think I can't be cheered up, he takes care of me, he treats me like a princess (even when I don't deserve it), he loves me unconditionally, and I still wake up each and every day wondering what I did to get so lucky and wondering why he loves me. He makes me feel so special and like the luckiest girl in the world.

ETA: I also realized he was the one after we had a fight (and then another one...) and not ONCE did I even consider breaking up with him. The idea was always "how can we fix this so we're stronger together?" - and neither one of us ever even thought about breaking up. We always looked forward and tried to resolve whatever bothered us together so we could be even stronger for the future.

 

[monarch64]

Thanks for the clue-in re. the lobster reference, ladies! I was never a huge Friends fan (not that I didn''t like the show, I just didn''t follow along very intently), so that one escaped me.

 

[TravelingGal]

I knew he was the one when I realized I was willing to work hard my whole life to keep him The One.

 

[bee*]

I don''t think I ever had the he''s the one moment either-it just felt like we always fit together. I remember when he was driving me home one day after a couple of months of dating and thinking to myself that I couldn''t see anything breaking us up and here we are over 10 years later. I can be myself with him. I love how we both have our lives separate to each other and our lives together. We just gel nicely.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 10/22/2009 11:56:37 PM
Author: Luckyeshe
When I dated other guys I was always ok thinking of ''the breakup''. The idea of not being with them never phased me. I knew then that that relationship wasn''t the right one. Then I met my FI and it was totally 100% different. I was myself and he loves me no matter what, even in my bad moody days. He''s the only one I could imagine growing old with and watching the sun set together when we have no teeth left. When I imagine my life without him...I seriously have a heartache so that''s how I knew. I imagined what it would be like single and without him and I just couldn''t do it....My life didn''t feel right without him in it. So that''s how I knew...now he''s stuck with me.

THIS!

I never knew that love could literally make your heart hurt until FI. Not that he ever tries to upset me, but if I am upset, truly upset, my poor little heart will ache with the pain of it all. It''s scary, but I love that I feel so strongly. I can be a little emotionally remote at times, but I''m not with him, and I LOVE that. (nor is he with me!)

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 10/23/2009 9:18:52 AM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 10/22/2009 11:56:37 PM
Author: Luckyeshe
When I dated other guys I was always ok thinking of ''the breakup''. The idea of not being with them never phased me. I knew then that that relationship wasn''t the right one. Then I met my FI and it was totally 100% different. I was myself and he loves me no matter what, even in my bad moody days. He''s the only one I could imagine growing old with and watching the sun set together when we have no teeth left. When I imagine my life without him...I seriously have a heartache so that''s how I knew. I imagined what it would be like single and without him and I just couldn''t do it....My life didn''t feel right without him in it. So that''s how I knew...now he''s stuck with me.

THIS!

I never knew that love could literally make your heart hurt until FI. Not that he ever tries to upset me, but if I am upset, truly upset, my poor little heart will ache with the pain of it all. It''s scary, but I love that I feel so strongly. I can be a little emotionally remote at times, but I''m not with him, and I LOVE that. (nor is he with me!)

I totally agree.

On another note, this thread is inspiring all types of mushy-gushy warmness in my heart

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 10/23/2009 12:47:57 AM
Author: TravelingGal
I knew he was the one when I realized I was willing to work hard my whole life to keep him The One.

Couldn''t have ever said it better...

 

[jcarlylew]

simple. i fall asleep in his arms. i am a "leave me alone" person when i sleep, and i can sleep in his arms.
that and i cannot imagine (okay..this is going to sound overrated..) not being with him. he makes me laugh, cry, get mad and fall in love. its like the four seasons, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

 

[fuzzers]

We''ve been together since high school, I was 16 and he was 18. It''s hard to pick out a time when I found out he was the one. Actually, this may sound corny, but about a week after dating, we had a deep conversation about our pasts and our views on things, etc., and I thought, "Wow... here''s a guy who might actually understand me!" I never thought I would find that, but I did. I think he knows me better than I know myself. I''m extremely fortunate to have found that on my first try!

 

[Erin]

Besides all the warm fuzzy stuff, he doesn''t let me slack. He keeps me fearless, grounded, honest, open, ethical and hard working.
He loves me for me, but we really motivate each other to be the best versions of ourselves.
I knew I could grow and change and evolve with him.
I knew I had the kind of true, loving support that would always be there.

 

[wsu12]

We both knew when my husband had to work for 3 months in Arizona and we live in Florida...That was 2 years ago. I love my husband a little more each day. I am so proud to be his wife.

Also, one thing I would like to mention is that my mother is single and I know that at some point I will care for her (financially and eventually physically). We are a package deal and my husband has never been anything but enthusiastic about this. He knows how much she means to me, and in turn he cherishes her as well.

 

[wsu12]

Date: 10/23/2009 12:47:57 AM
Author: TravelingGal
I knew he was the one when I realized I was willing to work hard my whole life to keep him The One.

So eloquently put, I could not agree more.

 

[Lofi]

Date: 10/24/2009 7:23:09 PM
Author: fsu1227

Date: 10/23/2009 12:47:57 AM

Author: TravelingGal

I knew he was the one when I realized I was willing to work hard my whole life to keep him The One.

So eloquently put, I could not agree more.

Ah, that is perfectly said, Traveling Gal... Exactly how I feel.

I fell for him fast. Before him I just... didn''t really have time for any suitors. I would like them, we''d go on a couple dates, and I could immediately tell if it wasn''t going to work. So when I started dating B... And I couldn''t get enough... I knew something was different about this one. What sealed the deal was when I moved to NYC for a couple months right in the beginning of our relationship. I had an internship there after college and I think both B and I thought... Okay, this is either going to make us or break us. Normally after the "first day" of something important, I would call my mom. The first person I called after my first day on the job was my B. We didn''t go more than 2 weeks without him coming out to see me or me coming home to see him. Those times when he was in NY made us both realize that this was the real deal. We are two peas in a pod. Best friends. And I can''t wait to marry him.