How did your FI handle engagement?

[NakedFinger]

This post is kind of a spin of on cleokizzy's FB Status post....

It got me thinking, how did you FI handle things right after you got engaged? Was he running around, telling his friends, etc? Or was he more shy, low key about it?

I have seen both. My one friend's FI (sorry to stereotype) but was the chick in the relationship. LOL He was calling a million people, all giddy, etc. about the engagement. More so even then my girlfriend was. Then my other friend's FI was more low key about, if one of his friends asked about it he told them, but he didnt like call all his guy friends on the phone once he proposed or bring it up to people. He was the first of his guy friends to get engaged, so I dont know if he thought he would get crap for being engaged?? More like a macho thing? I dont know.

Which was your FI? How did he handle the news with people and those first few weeks after engagement? Would it bother you if he didnt run around telling anyone who would listen? (Like I TOTALLY will do when I get engaged

LOL)

 

[Lilac]

DH was so excited to tell people. He told his friends, family, coworkers, and anyone who would listen that we were engaged. He couldn''t wait to change the FB status because he was so excited for us to finally be engaged! I was similar and pretty much also told anyone who would care or listen

 

[Diva0413]

FI was very excited. As soon as I put the ring on, he was taking pictures and sending text messages with the pictures to all his friends. As a matter of fact, he still occassionally gets giddy.

 

[purselover]

He was very excited to tell people, he had already told almost all of his friends and family his plan to propose and as soon as it was official he let everyone know. He made a big deal out of it and wanted to gather the family around and pop open champagne, while I actually was the low key one and told people gradually. I don''t think he was upset I didn''t make a huge deal out of telling people, he knows I have a more private personality. Btw both of our facebook status are still just in a relationship

 

[gwendolyn]

He was a bit odd, really. He was excited in his way (very low-key and slow-moving), and called his parents right after it happened (who were like, "That's great, congrats! We're out, though, so we'll talk later."

to be fair, they knew for a month it was coming officially, and suspected for over a year). He called his friends later on, but didn't tell his sisters because he just sort of assumed his parents would tell them. At the time, this hurt and annoyed me a little, because he is relatively close with his sisters and they would've preferred to hear it from him directly, and made it seem like he didn't really consider the engagement to be important (even though I knew logically that it meant a great deal to him as he's been waiting for me to be ready for marriage). But, then we were away in the US for 3 weeks, and even after we got back he just kept waiting to hear from them (duh), assuming they would call him when his parents told them (?). Anyway, he waited too long, and then he was stuck in this situation where he felt like he should've called already, but didn't know if they knew and knew that they SHOULD know.

So he called his mom and asked if she told them, and she said no, that she thought he would want to tell them and why was he asking, hadn't he told them ages ago? (hah!

). Then he finally told them, and they teased him for waiting so long, but they weren't really that bothered because he can be VERY bad in certain social situations, even with me trying to guide him. He has been telling his sisters (and parents) for years that he intended to marry me, so it's not like it was a surprise to anyone, but it still would've been nice if he had just talked to them as soon as we got back to the UK. I think he was afraid that if he announced our engagement to people who already knew about it, they might think bad things about him (like that he wanted something because of it?). Not that this would've been a problem with telling family, but once he gets an idea in his head, it can be very hard to dissuade him of it, even when it is WRONG.

But, when it comes to his friends, he told them all when we got back to the UK and changed his FB status with me and seemed to quite enjoy the attention. And he had a lot of fun telling his two best friends about it and telling them they had to be at the wedding no matter what, to which they both said 'yeah, of course, we wouldn't miss it, etc.'

 

[NuggetBrain]

All of his friends knew about it, because apparently he was supposed to have proposed two times before and the first time he forgot the ring (we were on vacation in Vegas for my birthday), and the second time he chickened out. So nobody was surprised when he finally did it, everyone knew.

 

[sonnyjane]

We had a non-ring engagement for about 7 months while he was in Iraq, so by the time he actually came home and gave me the ring, all of our friends and families already knew we were planning a wedding, so it wasn't anything crazy. I know the difference between men and women though, and I would actually think it would be a little weird if my DH called all his guy friends to gab the second he proposed. I'm not even sure I did that! I know one of DH's friends, who doesn't have Facebook or e-mail access, didn't know we were married until 7 months later, not because DH was ashamed to mention it, just because he thought he already had lol.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 8/10/2009 11:07:11 AM
Author: sonnyjane
We had a non-ring engagement for about 7 months while he was in Iraq, so by the time he actually came home and gave me the ring, all of our friends and families already knew we were planning a wedding, so it wasn''t anything crazy. I know the difference between men and women though, and I would actually think it would be a little weird if my DH called all his guy friends to gab the second he proposed. I''m not even sure I did that! I know one of DH''s friends, who doesn''t have Facebook or e-mail access, didn''t know we were married until 7 months later, not because DH was ashamed to mention it, just because he thought he already had lol.

My friend (the one who''s FI said "ill tell people if they ask" and who didnt call up his guy friends the moment he did it) said the same thing. At first she was upset, that he wasnt super exctired and wanting to shout it from the rooftops. But then she thought about it and said her FI isnt one to talk about personal stuff with his guy friends, they dont talk on the phone at all, etc. So it wasnt out of character for him not to call up his friends to tell them.

I dont know, on one hand I feel I would want me FF to be SOOO excited he just wants to scream it out loud. But on the other hand I kind of get what my friend is saying, that guys dont "dish" as much as girls, so its not that weird he didnt call everyone he knows.

 

[mrscushion]

FI definitely called up not only family but also all his good friends to tell them we got engaged. So did I. I think we were pretty much equal in sharing the news with others.

 

[rhbgirl24]

He was very excited, but he is a low key person to begin with. I think this was the most enthusiastic I''ve seen him, which was an incredible experience. We were on a cruise w/ his family and we went straight to find them!

 

[laughwithme]

My FI is also pretty low-key by nature, but occasionally there is something he gets reallllly excited about - and getting engaged was one of those things! While we were walking out of the park, he sent a mass text message to some people who knew about the proposal and said "She said yes!" Then he called his parents and it just sorta waterfall-ed from there. He also wanted to change his FB as soon as we got home. So he was very excited!

 

[Dannielle]

He was adorable- the night after we got back from our night on the yacht he called his family our friends and he was talking a million miles an hour. You couldn''t wipe the smile off his face. He kept saying "This is the best weekend ever.. isn''t it greet, seriously.. its been the best weekend."

Such a cutie

 

[trillionaire]

FI was definitely excited, but didn't call his friends, he just sent them text messages, and talked to anyone that called him. (I only called a handful of people, I texted the rest) He's not the 'pick up the phone and call my friends kinda guy', he calls his friends to coordinate their next get together, not often to shoot the sh*t. He called his family immediately, because they knew he was planning it, and he put his parents on speaker phone in the room with my family so that we could all talk and be excited together!

He also told his co-workers both before and after, but they have been harassing him about proposing for years! I had pictures on my camera that my sister took during the proposal, so I put pictures on both of our FB profiles, so he got lots of comments because his picture features him on his knee proposing. I also put up the proposal story, so our friends (many mutual) congratulated us both. He enjoyed all of the praise and kudos that he got, from the proposal to the ring, so you could tell that he was happy and proud. Oh, he DID change our relationship status on FB and proclaimed that we were engaged in his status message before I even had a chance to log on, which was cute. We are no longer going out of our way to tell people, but we're still in the giddy lovey dovey phase

He's very proud and excited, and as I mentioned on another thread, has taken to calling me 'wife' rather than 'fiancee'...

 

[ProseCuter]

He was very low-key about it. We told a group of our friends that we had over for dinner the day after he proposed, but he didn''t call any of his family. I wasn''t sure why he seemed so reluctant to tell them, but I made a lunch date with his mom for about a week later, and he decided to come and show up (unknown to her ahead of time) so we could tell her together. After she knew, I told him I was changing my FB status, so he finally got around to emailing his dad and brothers about it then.

In thinking about it, I think he honestly didn''t know what to do since this is the first long term relationship he''s ever been in and basically everything is new to him. Once he got used to telling people though, he''s certainly not hesitant to talk about it now!

 

[Luckyeshe]

Right after he asked we called a bunch of family. Mainly the parents and then when we got home, he immediately changed his FB status to engaged. I on the other hand sent a million texts

. His friends already knew that the engagement was happening that weekend so we heard from almost everyone the following day. We got engaged at 1030p and home by 1130p so we didn''t want to wake anyone up when it finally happened.

 

[charbie]

Date: 8/10/2009 11:01:22 AM
Author: NuggetBrain
All of his friends knew about it, because apparently he was supposed to have proposed two times before and the first time he forgot the ring (we were on vacation in Vegas for my birthday), and the second time he chickened out. So nobody was surprised when he finally did it, everyone knew.

that''s great...i''m sure at the time it was''t so great, but look at the funny story it provides!

 

[charbie]

Date: 8/10/2009 3:33:00 PM
Author: trillionaire
FI was definitely excited, but didn''t call his friends, he just sent them text messages, and talked to anyone that called him. (I only called a handful of people, I texted the rest) He''s not the ''pick up the phone and call my friends kinda guy'', he calls his friends to coordinate their next get together, not often to shoot the sh*t. He called his family immediately, because they knew he was planning it, and he put his parents on speaker phone in the room with my family so that we could all talk and be excited together!

He also told his co-workers both before and after, but they have been harassing him about proposing for years! I had pictures on my camera that my sister took during the proposal, so I put pictures on both of our FB profiles, so he got lots of comments because his picture features him on his knee proposing. I also put up the proposal story, so our friends (many mutual) congratulated us both. He enjoyed all of the praise and kudos that he got, from the proposal to the ring, so you could tell that he was happy and proud. Oh, he DID change our relationship status on FB and proclaimed that we were engaged in his status message before I even had a chance to log on, which was cute. We are no longer going out of our way to tell people, but we''re still in the giddy lovey dovey phase

He''s very proud and excited, and as I mentioned on another thread, has taken to calling me ''wife'' rather than ''fiancee''...

Sounds pretty similar to my guy.

 

[bee*]

We were in Barcelona and D decided to ring about twenty people to let them know. It''s one of my favourite memories from our engagement as D is normally quite quiet so to see him being so excited and ringing everyone was great.

 

[charbie]

So I had asked mr. charbie to please call both of my parents beforehand, which was hard for him since he didn''t want my mom to give it away, but awkward for him to call my dad since they had only met twice. he had told his grandmother (the one who donated her ring to the cause for those of you who know the story) and she kept it quiet so no one else found out until he told them. btw- he did tell both of my parents tho, which was the sweetest thing he ever could have done in my book.

knowing his reaction whenever one of his other friends got engaged- he would sort of reluctantly say something like, "Well, so and so finally bit the bullet..." i knew he wasn''t going to be jumping up and down. but he planned it so well, and he isn''t one to show much emotion, but he was so cute and got a little teary eyed when he saw how happy i was and said later he just couldn''t help it since he had never seen me so happy, and that he was so proud and happy that he could make me feel like that. i later found out that everyone pretty much knew it was happening, so he had been texting his friends for encouragement and to let them know "tonight''s the night" throughout the evening, and followed up with a "well, i did the deed...bachelorhood is over for me...". its not easy for him to be overly emotional or sappy about girls, so he and his "macho" friends all take this kind of attitude- but they are all the best guys underneath. we both called close friends and family the first night, then texted throughout the following days. he changed his facebook status first...more so because i said he had to ask me again...via facebook (i''m a loser).

in keeping with his macho behavior though, i decided that when we are announced that reception, we will be walking in to "another one bites the dust"-

 

[DiamondsforDee]

We got engaged bright and early in the morning (6am) and then we were running late for work since I was so busy staring at the ring that neither of us made any phone calls until we got to work. My mom was unhappy to hear the news an entire 3.5 hours after it happened. FI called his parents and grandparents when he got to work and texted his best friends (they live on the opposite coast so he didn''t want to wake them with a call but wanted to tell them right away). He did not bother calling anyone else because all of our local friends already knew. They knew because they were coming to our engagement party that night. He had planned a mini party after our romantic dinner with champagne, desserts, and then out to our favorite bar. I thought it was the perfect way to show me that he was super excited without being out of character. Plus what girl doesn''t love a champagne and dessert party?

 

[kittybean]

We both called our parents right away, and we called our best friends and family members over the remainder of the weekend. DH seemed just as excited (if not quite as giddy) as I was. We were quick to tell everyone we knew and begin the planning process (well, the latter was mostly me).

 

[Sabine]

Mine was somewhere in the middle...he was really excited to call and tell the people he''s really close to in his life, like his immediate family and his few close friends. But he wasn''t going all crazy to advertise it for the world to see, for everything else, he just told them when it naturally came up, he didn''t go out of his way to do it. He doesn''t update facebook often, but he changed his status the next time he was actually on the site.

 

[cindygenit]

He was excited and told everyone at his work. He waited two weeks to tell his family because his dad was dealing with the death of a close friend and we didn''t want our engagement to be associated with something so sad.

 

[EyeElle]

My Fiance was very happy to be engaged, he talked about it for a while before actually doing it. So I was very surprised when he didn''t tell anyone about it. He only really wanted to tell his parents in person (and they live far away so we had to wait about 2 weeks before we could tell them). He told a few of his closer friends by text and that was the end of it.

He assumed his parents would tell everyone else in the family and they didn''t tell many people .... so imagine my surpirse when I visit his family a few weeks later expecting excited people, only to find out it was all news to them.

Even to this day I am very hurt by it .... he would just say I assumed my parents would tell people. But I just dont understand why he wouldn''t want to tell anyone himself about it.

Makes me upset just re-living it lol

But when we are together he takes my hand and looks at the ring and says how happy he is and how proud he is to be engaged to me .... I guess he is too shy to talk about it with others ... even family members.

 

[princessplease]

FI was very excited. He immediately called his close relatives and told them. He did not seek out his guy friends, though, to tell them mostly because they don''t talk very often. When he did talk to them, though, he did tell them immediately.