How do you... DO IT!

[tlh]

OK, you want something, a ring, a necklace, earrings... how do you leave your little "hints" about what you want? Do you start off by just emailing attachments, adding "ring shopping" to the weekend to-dos? What??? I am just curious how you ladies.... inform the men!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Honestly, I just flat out tell him and show him.......

 

[tlh]

I KNOW!!!!
After many, many, thoughtful but uhhh... not perfect gifts, I basically blueprint it. HA!

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I show him what I want and ask for it... but he usually waits a month or so before acting on it because he knows me so well and 90% of the time I''ve moved on to something else. haah

 

[Winks_Elf]

I don''t. If I want something, I get it for myself.

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/26/2009 11:41:06 AM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
I show him what I want and ask for it... but he usually waits a month or so before acting on it because he knows me so well and 90% of the time I''ve moved on to something else. haah

OMG, you too?

 

[sba771]

I stare at it online until I am sure, then I tell him, then I drag him to the store...then he takes me there a few weeks later for a surprise

 

[caribqueen]

My BF told me early on in our relationship to just flat out tell him. They don''t always get hints. Personally, I think it''s the honest way to go and there''s no crime in that. I would tell him, and also show a picture if I have it, or show it to him in person.

But you have to know your guy. Some women can say to their man, I''d like a diamond that is a good color, with decent clarity and cut and their SO go out and get a nice F or G with VS clarity, etc... My BF on the other hand, I''d have to tell him specifics. He''s not into details, but that''s my guy. (That''s why I''m glad I had a say in my engagement ring. hehe)

 

[tlh]

Aren''t they sweet! i just send my man photos and specifics, and he''s like pretty, How much?
haha!

I do feel bad though, the one time he deviated, and was feeling all good about himself, I ended up with earrings and "matching" pendant that were different shades of blue. I didn''t say anything, and he goes, wait, those are different colors! I guess you''ll have to buy new earrings and a necklace to match each other. Man, do I have him trained or what?!?

 

[princesss]

I show him a picture and say, "Honey, I want *that*." Period.

Our anniversary is coming up. I knew what I wanted (4 small stacking rings), did the research, and then told him what I want. Once we have the money (they''re pretty cheap silver stacking rings from etsy, but we''re pretty low on funds right now), we''re going to pick them out together (but I get the final say). I ask him to tell me what he wants for gifts, as well. Neither of us is the "I''ll love it and wear it forever just because SO picked it out," kind of person, so we''re very honest with each other about gifts.

Plus, if I don''t spell out exactly what I want, he won''t pay attention. Hints FLY over his head. Subtlety is completely lost. There''s just no point trying anymore.

 

[musey]

Date: 1/26/2009 11:42:28 AM
Author: Winks_Elf
I don't. If I want something, I get it for myself.

Same here

doesn't come up very often, but when it does - unless it's something I think he'd really enjoy being "from him," I get it for myself. We don't often give big ticket gifts, we buy those items for ourselves.

Occasionally I'll want something that I think he'd really enjoy getting for me (like the initial pendant with my new last name's initial, that I wanted to wear for pre-wedding events), and then I'll show him.

I also keep a "things I want" bookmark folder on my computer which is mostly for my own reference (sorted into apparel, jewelry, cosmetics and housewares), but he goes through it to pick out gifts sometimes, too.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Honesty is the best policy...if you want something, simply ask. Men can sometimes be a bit dense when it comes to hinting...so flat out asking usually gets better results (at least in my marriage).

 

[Bliss]

I e-mail photos and say, "I LIKE THIS!"

He usually like to be involved, so sometimes I take him to the store and get his opinion on style/size/etc. Guys have a ton on their minds, so e-mail is great because they can get to it when they are in the proper mindset.

 

[tlh]

Umm... have any of you ever photoshopped a photo of yourself w/ the items you want?

It cracks my DH up! He says he always likes my "HINTS" because I do it in creative and silly ways.

 

[allycat0303]

Well my guy is kind of clueless.

The last time he went out to buy me something, I took a picture of the purse on his cell phone (although he swore up and down he *knew* which one it was and he didn''t need a picture.)

When he got to the store he wasn''t sure anymore.

So he found the picture on his cell phone, gave it to the salesgirl and said "I need that one"

I think that aside from telling a guy outright (sometimes with an illustration) there are WAAAY too many ways he go wrong. Especially when it involves jewelery, purses, or clothes. But then, I''m really particular about this stuff, so I don''t think he would be able to surprise me.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

None of my hints have worked, my BF has ignored the hints I have given him, and when I say things casually when we are shopping, either he only hears parts of it or takes it as a "hint." And I have gotten him gifts that he has wanted, but have not "exactly" what he wanted. I never thought I would meet someone pickier than me.

We are now just going to make each other lists. It is clear that after a year and a half together, he doesn't pick up my hints, and he is too particular with what he wants.

 

[Still_Waiting]

I really admire all of you who just ask for what you want. I just feel so guilty when I want something that costs more than, oh, I don''t know, $50 or so. My birthday is in two weeks and I''m still trying to get up the courage to ask for the $100 necklace I want! It''s also hard when he NEVER asks me what I want. It might be a little easier to bring it up if he did.

That said, I do agree with everyone else about making it clear, if there is something specific you want. The only guarantee (okay, maybe it isn''t a guarantee...) that you''ll get what you want is to flat out ask.

 

[LostSapphire]

I go and get the thing I want. If it''s jewellry or something special, I have it ready at the store waiting for pick up.

He gets an e-mail telling him where to go and to bring his CC. He''s good with that. Always seems quite proud of what a good job he does buying me presents.

Haven''t had to return anything yet using this method.

LS

 

[diamondringlover]

Date: 1/26/2009 11:32:34 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
Honestly, I just flat out tell him and show him.......

yep that has worked for me for 25 years

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

I learned from watching my mom and dad that men are clueless. I mean, you could literally be standing next to my dad in front of a jewelry case, and my mom would be pointing and saying how beautiful that is, etc. and he would say, "that''s nice dear, I''m going to go look at some golf clubs." lol. And somehow I''ve found a BF just like my dad in that respect.

So I e-mail him things (I e-mail him desirable diamonds for heaven''s sake!

) and write "pretty things!" in the subject line. I show my screen to him. Sometimes I flat out say "honey I think you should get me this." And then he drags his feet and I end up buying it on my own.

I think I need a new strategy...

 

[LilyOfTheValley]

I show him specific pictures of what I want. Lol. If I want to be surprised, then I''d show him pictures of several items and have him pick one.

 

[MishB]

I buy it myself, unless it''s for a specific occasion. For my last birthday, I ordered the earrings and gave him the docket to collect them.

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 1/26/2009 7:19:12 PM
Author: Still_Waiting
I really admire all of you who just ask for what you want. I just feel so guilty when I want something that costs more than, oh, I don''t know, $50 or so. My birthday is in two weeks and I''m still trying to get up the courage to ask for the $100 necklace I want! It''s also hard when he NEVER asks me what I want. It might be a little easier to bring it up if he did.

That said, I do agree with everyone else about making it clear, if there is something specific you want. The only guarantee (okay, maybe it isn''t a guarantee...) that you''ll get what you want is to flat out ask.

As we were climbing into bed last night, SO asks me what I want for my birthday! It made me chuckle inside because I just told you guys that he never asks!

(I told him I had a couple ideas and I''d have to show him later...still nervous about asking for something expensive. Especially because we''ve been spending money on the house trying to get it ready for guests that are coming...for my birthday. Really, that should BE my present!)

 

[sklingem]

This is how you do it:

"Come here young man" (Grab him by shirt/tie or anywhere else)
"Now you put down your beer, turn off the TV and listen to me" (BF looks suprised, a bit scared (is she upset/pregnant or has she found out about his secret stash of dirty mags?) and misses the tv/beer already)
"I want ring/necklace/e-ring. And since you have no clue, THIS is what I want" (handing somewhat relieved BF - she has not found the dirty mags! - writtent instructions/drawings and website urls)
"Now you can turn on the tv and finish your beer! And if you don''t start working on it soon I will hold your dirty mags against you next time" (BF almost has heart attack but would do anything at this point to (a) watch overtime game on tv (b) finish his quickly warming beer and (c) get off the hook for dirty mags)

EASY AS THAT! Good luck.
Rob

 

[Bliss]

YAY for you, Still_Waiting!!!! This is definite progress!

Here's another hint: when I love something uber-expensive and it's more wish list than anything, I don't ask for it, but I kind of swoon and say, "I'm getting heart palpitations!" FI usually gets it not because I ask for it, but because he sees my eyes dancing and how much I love it. (They can't resist that!)

I think that's a good starting approach for you! It's much better than saying, "Can you buy me this diamond bracelet?" Eeeek! Also, you won't feel guilty just swooning -- the pressure's totally off! Plus, if you have to start somewhere, why not with something you *truly* love? Gotta train 'em! FI would have had sticker shock with my e-ring but I trained him at the diamond counter at Tiffany so after a few purchases there, he didn't blink an eye at the bigger stuff later!

Or, if you go to a jewelry store and look at the super high end statement pieces first, once you look at the thing you really want -- it'll seem cheap to him! Einstein said it was all relative... LOL. Maybe he was talking about diamonds.

 

[Bliss]

Date: 1/27/2009 10:31:09 AM
Author: rob09
This is how you do it:


''Come here young man'' (Grab him by shirt/tie or anywhere else)

''Now you put down your beer, turn off the TV and listen to me'' (BF looks suprised, a bit scared (is she upset/pregnant or has she found out about his secret stash of dirty mags?) and misses the tv/beer already)

''I want ring/necklace/e-ring. And since you have no clue, THIS is what I want'' (handing somewhat relieved BF - she has not found the dirty mags! - writtent instructions/drawings and website urls)

''Now you can turn on the tv and finish your beer! And if you don''t start working on it soon I will hold your dirty mags against you next time'' (BF almost has heart attack but would do anything at this point to (a) watch overtime game on tv (b) finish his quickly warming beer and (c) get off the hook for dirty mags)


EASY AS THAT! Good luck.

Rob

THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 1/27/2009 10:33:04 AM
Author: Bliss
YAY for you, Still_Waiting!!!! This is definite progress!

Here''s another hint: when I love something uber-expensive and it''s more wish list than anything, I don''t ask for it, but I kind of swoon and say, ''I''m getting heart palpitations!'' FI usually gets it not because I ask for it, but because he sees my eyes dancing and how much I love it. (They can''t resist that!)

I think that''s a good starting approach for you! It''s much better than saying, ''Can you buy me this diamond bracelet?'' Eeeek! Also, you won''t feel guilty just swooning -- the pressure''s totally off! Plus, if you have to start somewhere, why not with something you *truly* love? Gotta train ''em! FI would have had sticker shock with my e-ring but I trained him at the diamond counter at Tiffany so after a few purchases there, he didn''t blink an eye at the bigger stuff later!

Or, if you go to a jewelry store and look at the super high end statement pieces first, once you look at the thing you really want -- it''ll seem cheap to him! Einstein said it was all relative... LOL. Maybe he was talking about diamonds.

I like your approach!

I''ll have to try it out! And your e-ring technique cracked me up...maybe I''ll have to try that out too! (Now, I''m off to see if you have threads on your training purchases!)

 

[WistfulAurora]

I am getting a lot of good advice! My bf has never given me any piece of jewerly... Some of my friends claim it''s cause he wants THE RING to be the first. I think I may start shopping myself and than showing him what I like...

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 1/26/2009 11:32:34 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
Honestly, I just flat out tell him and show him.......

That''s exactly what I do.
I think he likes it that way too.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

He has a file on his blackberry called "Gifts for Lizzy" and it''s just a list of gift ideas. So whenever I see something that I think would be a great gift for Xmas/Birthday etc, I just put it in his phone.

He never has to ask what I want for an upcoming celebration b/c it''s always being updated in his phone. Might sound weird but it works for us!