How do you feel about upgrading?

[tberube]

Such beautiful trade-ins an upgrades all over this site! Love the yummy eye candy and I completely cannot get enough!

I often find myself turning green with envy

and DSS sometimes really sets in!!

Sometimes I wish I could have a diamond twice as big as what I have. But whenever I think about the prospect of trading in my beautiful bauble, or even switching it over to a newer one, makes me sad. I don''t know how I could do it - its the diamond that FI gave me when he asked me to marry him, and with all its flaws and size issues (and, darnitall, in spite of my materialistic nature

), the meaning is more to me than the rock itself.

And I''m not much of a sentimental person when it comes to material things. Really. I throw everything away.

So how do you girls deal with the upgrade? Did you trade in the original ring? Do you still wear the old ring sometimes, for old time sake? Are you sad and miss the old ring, or do you simply transfer the sentiment over to your new piece, as a symbol of your growing lives together??

And if you haven''t upgraded, how do YOU feel about the whole thing? I mean, you are a PSer so you must be as obsessed as I am...!

Just a question for thought - I''d love to hear what you gals have to say about it.

 

[ringabling]

you know? I think you're either that person or you're not - meaning the one that ties sentimental value to the stone.
I don't really. I get googly eyes thinking about the proposal and the excitement, but the stone/ring itself isn't terribly sentimental to me.
I don't know why{?}

<---------- I got an upgrade this week, it's on my avatar. My original has become less and less me over the years. I'll post a pic and as you'll see I went opposite what I had. My old one just didn't reflect my personality now at all, maybe that's why it was easy for me, who knows.
also, we traded only the center stone in towards my new one, I got the ring and baquettes back intact and can do as I wish w/ them. I intend to make an eternity band alternating baquettes/rounds w/ them so I'll get to keep something from the original which actually does make me happy!

Here's my original:

 

[diamondfan]

My first stone was a 1.5 carat rb, and I did keep that one. I set it in a diamond pendant and I wear it a lot. It was a nice stone but not worth selling.

I then got a 3 stone ring, with a 3 carat emerald cut in the center, and one carat emerald cuts on each side, in platinum. It was E/VVS and from Tiffany''s. I did love that ring, it was stunning, but wanted something a bit bigger. Since it was more valuable and Tiffany''s does allow a trade in with restrictions, my hubby did say I had to turn it in, which I did.

I am quasi sentimental. I do not always part easily with things, but some things, I can. It just depends for what!

 

[tberube]

ringabling - I saw your new baby in the 3+ carat thread, and it''s unbelievable! Poor me - I can do nothing but wish that FI had gotten me something bigger! Haha!
Perhaps one day I''ll be over the whole "this is my one and only ring" thing and be ready for the big baby I''ve always wanted.

 

[bee*]

I''m very sentimental and adore my ring so I know that I will not upgrade. The ring is got is about half a carat bigger than I thought I''d ever be able to get and I just love it. Each to their own though-if you want to upgrade and your Fi/Dh is happy with it, then fire ahead!

 

[gailrmv]

I would be really sad to get rid of my original diamond, so I don't think I could ever sell it, but I would not mind having a bigger ring to wear. The main reason I would want to upgrade is to get an ideal cut diamond - but while I'm at it I'd want to go bigger too. In my mind it would be an anniversary ring but really, it would be an upgrade. We'll see. If it happens, that would be great, but if not, I'm happy with what I have.

 

[lyra]

I kept my original, but I never ever wear it. I pretty much hate the setting and it''s a bit too small now anyway. I''m not very sentimental in general, but I''ve had to move across the country twice. Maybe that makes a difference in how I feel about material things. A lot of things I felt sentimental about got broken in the last move. So I learned that it was easier not to feel attached to material items. Hmmm. Went off on a tangent there. I''m very happy with my 1.77 K RB, but I will admit when I hang around PS, the DSS sets in, when in reality it''s a silly thing!

 

[kcoursolle]

I think upgrading is a very personal thing. I think that if both the woman and the DH are okay with it, then why not? After many years settings become outdated and worn out and couples are better able to afford a stone that is larger. People also change their mind about diamond shape sometimes. If one of the people is overly sensitive about the original purchase then I think it''s best to buy a RHR or not mess with a change. Diamonds and rings are very sentimental purchases for some of us, but not others.

 

[Maisie]

I don''t have anything against upgrading personally. I have still have my original engagement ring.

My husband bought me a .55ct diamond last July and I upgraded it again a few weeks later for a .72ct. Three months later I upgraded it again, this time to a carat. I had intended on keeping this one for maybe a year or two and then upgrading to 1.5ct. I didn''t bank on falling head over heels with this diamond. Its so beautiful I can''t bear to upgrade it!

 

[Steel]

Here is my take...

DH proposed at a time when we had little money, all the money we had we saved towards a deposit for our 1st home (now sold). So he bought be a very affordable e-ring. 5 stone (diamond flecks more than stone) band ring in YG. It was not my dream ring but I didn''t care; We were very poor and the only transport I could afford was my motorbike so a solitaire was never really an option then. (Can''t wear leather gloves with a solitaire IMO).

I always wanted a solitaire so last when year our diamond piggy bank had reached its'' level we bought my baby. When I first mentioned upgrading DH was not impressed but shortly thereafter he was on board and delighted to make a dream come true for me.

I now want a whopping huge big massive RB and a 3 stone pear. DH is fine with this but is very adamant that we never sell the D. He sees it as the first major luxury we bought that we can keep. Cars, houses, bikes etc come and go but I will always have my D. So when I get the big RB and Pears they will be RHR''s or I will swap for my D for bigger bling days.

Oh and my original ring and wb, I wear them around the house a lot. In fact I wore them all yesterday and today and my pretty ES WF D is sitting in it''s jewellery box.

[If that sent you off to sleep....WAKE UP....I am finished...

]

 

[ringabling]

Date: 12/26/2007 11:05:35 AM
Author: lyra
I kept my original, but I never ever wear it. I pretty much hate the setting and it''s a bit too small now anyway. I''m not very sentimental in general, but I''ve had to move across the country twice. Maybe that makes a difference in how I feel about material things. A lot of things I felt sentimental about got broken in the last move. So I learned that it was easier not to feel attached to material items. Hmmm. Went off on a tangent there. I''m very happy with my 1.77 K RB, but I will admit when I hang around PS, the DSS sets in, when in reality it''s a silly thing!

I wonder if this is why I don''t place sentimental value on mine{?}
We have moved A LOT since getting married.
We''ve been married 8 years and we''ve lived in 3 states and 6 homes plus one apartment.
The main thing I''ve learned is not to be a pack rat, wonder if there''s a connection?

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I''m incredibly sentimentally tied to my engagement ring. My husband proposed with it, he found the diamond, designed the setting, and had it made - all without me really knowing what was going on. It means so much to me because DH wanted to "do it right" even though we had a less than traditional "engagement" and wedding planning period. He worked incredibly hard on it, and it makes me so happy to see it on my hand.

I will likely always keep my ring, always wear it on my left hand, and if I feel the need to "upgrade", I''ll get something for my right hand.

 

[zoebartlett]

My FI and I went through WF to get my engagement ring and my wedding band. I knew exactly what it was going to look like, and actually, I had chosen the center stone. I love my ring, and if I were to change anything right now, I''d make the side stones a little larger. Other than that, I''m very content with what I have. Someday, sure, if we can swing it, it would be great to get something a little larger. I''m not sure how my FI would feel about that though. He is so proud of himself for what he was able to do for me, and if I ask for an upgrade within the next couple years, I''m not sure he''d love that idea. I''m attached to my center stone for sentimental reasons as well, so it would be hard to part with.

 

[Po10472]

Really interesting thread, its something I struggle with too. I''m very sentimental and really look after what I have. I adore my engagement ring because its very me and I would never want to get rid of it however I would really love a 1.5ct+ asscher set in a chunky cathedral setting to go with my 5-stone ec-band. I''d still wear my original e-ring but as a rhr. Haven''t actually verbalised this to my DH but he''s not daft, he sees me trawling the forum daily and ooo''ing and ahh''ing at all the bling.

*sigh*

so happy that I can share my voyeuristic diamond obsession with those that truly understand

 

[iheartscience]

I go back and forth...sometimes I think I don''t have any sentimental value attached to the diamond and other times I do. I''ll probably end up upgrading, though. However, when I do upgrade, I want to get a custom cut sapphire to replace the diamond in my halo setting. So I feel like I''ll still have a major part of my e-ring because the whole package is really what I love. I just got engaged in March of this year so I plan on keeping my e-ring for a few more years.

Before we got engaged my fiance made the mistake of telling me I could upgrade my diamond because I really wanted a 2 carat center and that just wasn''t in the budget, so I got a 1.5 carat instead. (I know, poor me, but I just really want to hit that 2 carat mark!) So since he said I could upgrade, I''m sticking with that!

 

[Hera]

I look at my engagement ring and wedding band (both upgrades) as signs (not symbols) that I am married. Because of that I don''t hold sentimental value on the rings I wear. I love them for what they are (beautiful, sparkly) with always the knowledge that one day my tastes will change and I will have something different or bigger. That being said, I have my original set but it is broken and unsalvageable. I still love it and admire it in the box from time to time.

 

[Mara]

I obviously love upgrading as I have done it ummm 4 times now?

I'm not too much on sentiment for diamonds & jewelry unless it's a special 'piece' like a vintage pin or something.

But I'm here for a while as the next jump is pretty cost prohibitive to me mentally. Greg has said he is on board with it if I really want to at some point in the next few years if we were in the right place financially, but seriously, it doesn't seem like it would be worth it. And we might have kids by then and everyone knows all your $$ goes to them hehee. So we'll see. Ask me in 2-3 more years.

 

[monarch64]

So far (married 4+ years) I haven''t caught the upgrade bug, nor could we afford it. DH and I aren''t that sentimentally attached to my current set of rings but we do love them. I''ve always been of the mind that if someday DH wanted me to upgrade to something larger or different than my current 1.5 RB and 1.38 ctw princess band that I''d keep my center stone, wear my original WB on my RH, and get something totally different for a new e-ring, like a pear or EC. What I''d really love to have is a 2+ carat EC emerald set in plat. with some sort of step cut sidestones, but I''d rather have it for an occasional wear RHR. So for an upgrade of my wedding set, currently (just daydreaming) I''d love a 3-4 carat pear or EC with a very narrow blingy shank and WB to match.

I have absolutely nothing against upgrading. People''s tastes change in home decor, cars, etc...why not rings? Every time I go to my SIL''s for a holiday dinner she complains that her china pattern is not her taste anymore because her style was so much different 18 years ago when they got married...she''s never said a word about her e-ring/WB (it''s one ring)...it is set in YG, 2ct marquise set in a wide band with rb''s on the sides. It''s gorgeous but she wears exclusively white metals aside from her e-ring...I always wonder if she''s thought about upgrading/changing her setting but I never ask, hee hee. Our two nieces are almost finished with HS and will be going to college in the next couple of years so I''m thinking after they''re through school my SIL will end up getting new china and upgrading her wedding ring!

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I think that upgrading is personal, but not something that I am interested in doing. I am very sentimental and I still wear the same wedding set...DH and I have been married for 10 years now. I did get a three stone ring for our 10th anniversary, and I do wear it on my left hand on occasion, but it is for the most the part a RHR. DH has told me that I can trade my original stone in if that is something that I would want to do, but I would much rather keep it on my finger where it belongs.

 

[Haven]

I''ve only had my engagement ring for a little over three months, and at this point I can''t even fathom upgrading. The funny thing is that I thought I''d be all about upgrading before I got the ring, but now that I have it I want to keep it forever.

Ask me again in about five years, though, perhaps I''ll be singing a different tune.

I do enjoy seeing everyone else''s upgrades so much that I hope people never stop upgrading!

 

[lumpkin]

I''ve upgraded and downgraded a few times, but I''m still married to the original husband! That''s what''s important to me.

I go back and forth sometimes because I love so many different styles. I also like solitaires and would enjoy having several different sizes, metals, and possibly different shapes. I''d also like to someday own an AGS0 ideal diamond. Where I don''t think my bridal jewelry is a good place to "show off" for the purpose of displaying wealth, it''s the only jewelry I wear every day, and frankly, it''s the only jewelry I''m going to spend any serious amount of money on because it doesn''t seem tacky to wear a fashion jewelry bracelet or earrings to me. I don''t want fashion jewelry on my left hand -- it''s sacreligious!!! So I think it''s great to upgrade if the money is there.

I love my rings and I''ll wear them for a long time. They may be my last ones, but if circumstances are good, they may not be. But I don''t think I''ll trade them. I really, really like them, so one of my own things is that if I get something else I get to keep these. I don''t have any of my previous diamonds.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

I get very attached to stuff. When I got my big EC I traded in a bunch of my jewelry. I should have just paid the extra money. I still miss most of what I traded in to this day! I wish I still had each and every piece! I guess I am a pack rat. LOL!

I have always approached the purchase of a stone or a piece as a "permanent" deal. So, I guess I am not an "upgrader". I am a "Buy new stuff and keep the old stuff er".

DH actually suggeseted trading in one of my diamonds to get a larger stone and I nearly bit his head off! Poor guy!
I got the larger stone and kept the old one.

Now he want to get an eightstar cut for me . . .

 

[risingsun]

I have no problem with upgrading. We did so this year. I''d like to do another in a few years, if DH will get onboard with it

 

[Kay]

Date: 12/27/2007 8:37:33 PM
Author: DiamanteBlu
I get very attached to stuff. When I got my big EC I traded in a bunch of my jewelry. I should have just paid the extra money. I still miss most of what I traded in to this day! I wish I still had each and every piece! I guess I am a pack rat. LOL!

I have always approached the purchase of a stone or a piece as a ''permanent'' deal. So, I guess I am not an ''upgrader''. I am a ''Buy new stuff and keep the old stuff er''.

DH actually suggeseted trading in one of my diamonds to get a larger stone and I nearly bit his head off! Poor guy!
I got the larger stone and kept the old one.

Now he want to get an eightstar cut for me . . .

Hee, hee -- me too! I adore my marquise e-ring. I spent 5 months finding the perfect stone (class 1 cut, D color, medium blue fluoro, even went a little larger than I was comfortable with at the time to stave off DSS), so there is no way I would trade it in for a new one. I am sure there will be other diamond purchases in my future, though -- afterall, I have a neck, 2 ear lobes and several other fingers to adorn.

Now that I think about it, I guess I would consider upgrading other pieces, like a solitaire pendant or studs, but not my e-ring. I think DH would be very upset if I wanted to "upgrade" my e-ring. Last year, I mentioned I would like a second wider band to occasionally wear on my left ring finger instead of my wedding ring, and DH hated the idea because it wouldn''t be the ring we were married with. If I had realized he was going to be so sentimental about a piece of jewelry, so that I couldn''t have mix-and-match bands, I would have taken a lot more time picking out the original band. I chose a 2.5 mm plain platinum band that looks great with my e-ring, but too thin by itself on days when I can''t wear the diamond because of where I''ll be going or what I will be doing.

I do vicariously enjoy all the upgrades I see here on PS. I don''t think there is anything wrong with upgrading if both spouses are comfortable with it.

 

[dtnyc]

I am all for upgrading- however the main stone in my e-ring is an antique family stone, so it will never happen- however- I would like to "tweak" my setting, and if possible one day put the stone in my e-ring into a necklace (as it was taken from an necklace and w/ it''s level of color it''s better suited to a necklace) and put a big oval in some sweet double claw prongs on my finger.

So for me I am an advocate of upgrading- but not in the trade in sense- but in the add to the collection sense!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I couldn''t. I just can''t. DH and I dated for 7 years, but I ended up leaving him a little over a year ago because he wasn''t ready for marriage. Unbeknownst to me, he went to the jeweller where I had been eyeing a ring the day I left him at the airport. He bought the ring that day and carried it around with him every single day for 3 months until he was ready to propose (we had no contact during that time--I moved 1,500 miles away and was focused on moving on). In Jan. of this year, he surprised me with a trip to Paris where he proposed on top of the Eiffel Tower with that tattered box. That ring means the world to me, I can''t think about changing it. I''m not opposed to buying more jewelry down the road--no need for him to do that for me--but my e-ring will stay just the way it is forever.

 

[tberube]

Date: 12/27/2007 9:23:33 PM
Author: Kay

Hee, hee -- me too! I adore my marquise e-ring. I spent 5 months finding the perfect stone (class 1 cut, D color, medium blue fluoro, even went a little larger than I was comfortable with at the time to stave off DSS), so there is no way I would trade it in for a new one. I am sure there will be other diamond purchases in my future, though -- afterall, I have a neck, 2 ear lobes and several other fingers to adorn.

Now that I think about it, I guess I would consider upgrading other pieces, like a solitaire pendant or studs, but not my e-ring. I think DH would be very upset if I wanted to ''upgrade'' my e-ring. Last year, I mentioned I would like a second wider band to occasionally wear on my left ring finger instead of my wedding ring, and DH hated the idea because it wouldn''t be the ring we were married with. If I had realized he was going to be so sentimental about a piece of jewelry, so that I couldn''t have mix-and-match bands, I would have taken a lot more time picking out the original band. I chose a 2.5 mm plain platinum band that looks great with my e-ring, but too thin by itself on days when I can''t wear the diamond because of where I''ll be going or what I will be doing.

I do vicariously enjoy all the upgrades I see here on PS. I don''t think there is anything wrong with upgrading if both spouses are comfortable with it.

I know what you mean, Kay. I think perhaps many of my issues with the idea of upgrading might be attached to the ring still being new. But just bringing up the idea of upgrading to FI made him quite uncomfortable. He''s much more sentimental about the whole thing than I expected him to be.

 

[tberube]

Date: 12/27/2007 10:51:33 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
I couldn''t. I just can''t. DH and I dated for 7 years, but I ended up leaving him a little over a year ago because he wasn''t ready for marriage. Unbeknownst to me, he went to the jeweller where I had been eyeing a ring the day I left him at the airport. He bought the ring that day and carried it around with him every single day for 3 months until he was ready to propose (we had no contact during that time--I moved 1,500 miles away and was focused on moving on). In Jan. of this year, he surprised me with a trip to Paris where he proposed on top of the Eiffel Tower with that tattered box. That ring means the world to me, I can''t think about changing it. I''m not opposed to buying more jewelry down the road--no need for him to do that for me--but my e-ring will stay just the way it is forever.

Wow, NEL, that''s very sweet. How amazing that such a stunningly gorgeous ring could come in a tattered box. Of course, with a ring that beautiful, I can''t imagine anyone ever wanting to upgrade. Besides the obvious sentimental reasons, of course.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Thanks, tberube, I love your ring as well. The thing is, we started looking at rings months before I left because he wanted to propose, it''s just that when it came down to it, he was too fearful. We spent lots of time looking at rings and he always urged me to go with something bigger. At the time, I would have been content with a twistie tie, so I kept trying to keep it "reasonable". Sometimes I wish I''d taken more time and listened to him, but given the circumstances I kept thinking "ANYTHING is fine!!!"

And, of course, hanging around PS doesn''t help Looking at the stunning rings here always makes me want a different ring.

 

[tberube]

Date: 12/28/2007 9:17:15 AM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Thanks, tberube, I love your ring as well. The thing is, we started looking at rings months before I left because he wanted to propose, it''s just that when it came down to it, he was too fearful. We spent lots of time looking at rings and he always urged me to go with something bigger. At the time, I would have been content with a twistie tie, so I kept trying to keep it ''reasonable''. Sometimes I wish I''d taken more time and listened to him, but given the circumstances I kept thinking ''ANYTHING is fine!!!''

And, of course, hanging around PS doesn''t help Looking at the stunning rings here always makes me want a different ring.

Don''t I know it!

Hope to see you (and your bling) at the Boston GTG tomorrow!