HOW DO YOU KNOW?

[nerf14]

How do you know when its coming....

my bf and I have been dating forever (8years about) ....we have been ring shopping but i promised not to bring up the engagement topic....how do I know when its coming...
he is a pretty spontaneous and hard to read.....
my bday is coming up so im hmmmmmmmmm - ing.....

its killing me.....LOL

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

For me, I don''t know when it''s coming - but he''s had the ring for almost 4 months now, and I kept speculating, only to get my hopes up and then be let down. I think it will be soon, but I really don''t know when it''s coming. It all depends on the guy. Mine, for example, is not going to do it when it''s expected - ie - holidays, birthday, etc. If he''s spontaneous like you say, you probably won''t know. But then, there are some guys who talk about it all the time or give a certain date when they''ll do it by. Sounds like we''re in the same boat - spontaneous and hard to read - from my experience for the last 4 months, don''t go home thinking it will happen on a certain night, or try to figure it out - because it really sucks when it doesn''t happen.

Although, I do have to say that NYE my best friend and FF''s mother noticed him staring at my hand, looking kind of nervous, so I do think it will be soon, but other than asking and getting a very vague response, I have no other indicators.

From my girlfriends who have gotten engaged, they had no idea - the guys were so calm, they didn''t suspect a thing!

Good luck waiting! You''ve got a lot of lovely ladies here that are trying to figure out the same thing!

 

[nerf14]

thanks sweetjettagirl04

im really hoping its soon but geez its hard to tell....im trying not to hold my breath but its hard.....but i think you are right....
i guess bc my bday is coming up and we are doing something for it that weekend im kinda hoping but i should just not hope so hard haha

Thanks for the adivce

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

No problem. It is really hard not to hope, especially with all the signs pointing towards it, but it is a real bummer when it doesn''t happen, and you think it might be. I''ve just stopped speculating about it, because that''s what works for me. I just have to keep myself busy with other things so I don''t explode, but I also keep telling myself it will be happening soon, just not when I want it to, so it''s best to focus on that, for me anyways.

 

[bee*]

I was dating D for over 8 years before we got engaged. We had a talk about a year and 10 months before we got engaged in which he said that we would be engaged by the end of 2007. We bought our ring in July 07 so I just had to wait then. Is there any way that you could get a sort of timeline from him so you won''t always be wondering when it''s going to happen. Not that you still won''t be wondering when but at least you have an end date in sight.

 

[MissErin]

This is a tough one... Any time we actually start picking up the puzzles pieces to figure it all out, our loving men seem to know how to stir it all up again and make us work a little harder... hehe Nonetheless they really know when the right time is and how to make it perfect. So even though the waiting can be tough, it''s all worth it in the end.

 

[designchica]

I have never been proposed to so I don''t know. However, my boyfriend is acting pretty goofy gaga overly lovey lately and he has hinted that he has a ring and we have a trip coming up in two weeks to Hawaii that he has gone all out for (first class tickets and everything). So everything is pointing that way...but then again, I could be misreading this. My gut is telling me this is it.

 

[chocolatefudge]

Hi nerf14, I know exactly how you feel! Coming up to 7 years with my bf and it''s my birthday in four weeks. Keep imagining that he may propose but feel that it could be a while yet. He did tell me that we would get engaged during 2008 while he was a bit tipsy on New Years Eve, however knowing him i''ll probably have to wait til the last day of the year! I think the more I go on about it the less likely he is to do it as he''ll want it to be a surprise!

 

[nerf14]

Bee its funny b/c he said the same thing to me....that it would be before the end of 2007....but i guess things change and life changes....i just hope it is soon
I promised i would not ask anymore after we ring shopped so i gotta stick to my promise....
so thats why i decided to post....hehe

cross ur fingers

 

[nerf14]

Chocolatefudge - I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!!

Designchica - HAWAIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG that would be amazing and sooo perfect.....

at least you guys are getting hints....my bf is bloody un-readable....hehe

thanks for listening

 

[brooklyngirl]

Date: 1/3/2008 1:16:20 PM
Author: chocolatefudge
Hi nerf14, I know exactly how you feel! Coming up to 7 years with my bf and it's my birthday in four weeks. Keep imagining that he may propose but feel that it could be a while yet. He did tell me that we would get engaged during 2008 while he was a bit tipsy on New Years Eve, however knowing him i'll probably have to wait til the last day of the year! I think the more I go on about it the less likely he is to do it as he'll want it to be a surprise!

I hope I don't come off as too negative, but I sincerely hope that you say this in jest. Given all the dissappointment and stress LsIW go through, it would be really mean-spirited to put off an engagement (inflicting more stress) just because a SO is anxious to know about HER OWN future. I understand wanting the proposal to be a surprise, but no surprise is worth the heartache some of the ladies on this board experience. Besides, there are a million ways to plan and execute a surprise proposal without needing to put it off every time there is a question about it. For instance, one could say they plan on proposing in May and actually do it in March

. That way, the anxious LIW will be satisfied with the answer, and will still be surprised.

 

[nerf14]

Can you call my bf hehe

 

[brooklyngirl]

Date: 1/3/2008 3:03:51 PM
Author: nerf14
Can you call my bf hehe

LOL, I could, but he would think I am some crazy lady

!

But, if that''s your situation you should definitely talk to him about it, and clearly express to him what will make you happy, and what you need from him in order for that to happen. While a surprise proposal is a wonderful experience, it''s only one moment in your life together. Your relationship, your marriage will last a lifetime, and at this stage (IMHO) men (and women) should try to concentrate more on the emotional health and well being of their partners (and the couple as a whole) instead of doing what they want, just because they want it that way, at the expense of the other half of the couple. Marriages are not built on each party working for themselves, but on two people working together for the good of their family. Frankly, I don''t see why acting like a family should wait until the wedding, if you''ve the couple has already decided te want to be one.

Besides, like I always tell FF, at this point, we''ve talked about it, and have gone ring shopping... THE FACT THAT THE PROPOSAL IS COMING IS NO SURPRISE, so why do we need to pretend it is

? The only surprise is how and when (within a reasonable timeframe) it is executed.

I say, the less stress the better!

Just my .02.

 

[bee*]

Date: 1/3/2008 1:43:39 PM
Author: nerf14
Bee its funny b/c he said the same thing to me....that it would be before the end of 2007....but i guess things change and life changes....i just hope it is soon

I promised i would not ask anymore after we ring shopped so i gotta stick to my promise....

so thats why i decided to post....hehe


cross ur fingers

I will definitely cross my fingers for you ...(and toes

).
Did he say why he didn''t do it by the end of 07 as he promised? You''re a better woman than I am-if D hadn''t proposed by the time that he said he would, I would have been straight there asking him why

It''s definitely better to air it all here thought than venting to him.

 

[nerf14]

Bee, he is in school finishing up so I think its a financial thing - although he says he has his ways and he is resourceful....so I really do not know and had made a promise not to bring up the topic....
maybe if it doesnt happen in the next week or so then i will ask ....but feel bad b/c its hard when people are in school and have no income...
what is more annoying is people around us friends constantly guessing dates and asking blah blah
ARGH hehe
i just kinda want it to happen to i guess to put me at ease

 

[chocolatefudge]

I live in the UK and have noticed quite a few differences between engagements here and those of many of you in America. From many posts I''ve read from you members in America you had a talk, went ring shopping together, chose a ring, bf bought the ring and then you know that engagement is coming quite soon.I don''t know of anyone here in the UK who have gotten engaged like that. Here, most people tend to have a surprise proposal, I''m not saying they haven''t discussed getting married but they don''t go and choose the ring together and then know it''s at home while they wait for the proposal. The proposal either comes as a surprise with a ring chosen as a surprise, or a proposal takes place without a ring and then the couple go shopping for ring together.

Can''t remember why I started to write this post now...... Erm, think it was because I''m just trying to point out that my bf wouldn''t discuss engagement too much with me as it will be a COMPLETE surprise and that''s the way it tends to work over here. This is turning into a bit of a mess now so I''ll just post it and hope it makes sense!

 

[nerf14]

I can speak for some Canadians....and know they like to plan....just so they have an idea....of whats going to happen, semi - when.....so they can save up for a wedding etc....
it could be a culture thing i dont know

 

[nerf14]

here is a link heheh

http://www.diamondcuttersintl.com/relationship_advice/forwomenonly/topten.html

the only one pertaining to me is

9. He’s a man with a plan: Your socially laid-back guy suddenly insists on prior plans, and instead of waiting until Friday night to plan your weekend, he’s making arrangements Tuesday or earlier . . . he may have a certain social "engagement" that he doesn’t want you to miss.

but that could just be ....

 

[bee*]

Date: 1/4/2008 10:19:05 AM
Author: chocolatefudge
I live in the UK and have noticed quite a few differences between engagements here and those of many of you in America. From many posts I''ve read from you members in America you had a talk, went ring shopping together, chose a ring, bf bought the ring and then you know that engagement is coming quite soon.I don''t know of anyone here in the UK who have gotten engaged like that. Here, most people tend to have a surprise proposal, I''m not saying they haven''t discussed getting married but they don''t go and choose the ring together and then know it''s at home while they wait for the proposal. The proposal either comes as a surprise with a ring chosen as a surprise, or a proposal takes place without a ring and then the couple go shopping for ring together.

Hi chocolatefudge, I''m in Ireland and a good few people I know have picked the ring together and gotten engaged later so I think it''s something that is occurring here a good bit more. It''s what we did together also.


Hopefully he will get that ring soon Nerf!! Does he graduate soon?

 

[Independent Gal]

Here's one way you might 'know': if your bf asks you to do something stupid, aka 'romantic' with him. Case in point. My friend was in Paris with her boyfriend last week. He had some business there and she tagged along. They woke up one morning and he said 'Let's go to the top of the Eifel Tower!' to which she replied 'George, please, that's really stupid.' Anyway, it turned out he'd been planning to propose up there. She still got her 2.2 ct excellent cut stunner, but at Place des Vosges instead. Whatever.

Just a thought!

As for me, I knew he was going to propose when he showed up for date night in a suit with flowers and chocolates and looking really goofy and excited. See? Suit + flower + chocs for date night = "stupid" aka 'romantic'. It was pretty adorable, actually.

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 1/4/2008 6:49:11 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Here''s one way you might ''know'': if your bf asks you to do something stupid, aka ''romantic'' with him. Case in point. My friend was in Paris with her boyfriend last week. He had some business there and she tagged along. They woke up one morning and he said ''Let''s go to the top of the Eifel Tower!'' to which she replied ''George, please, that''s really stupid.'' Anyway, it turned out he''d been planning to propose up there. She still got her 2.2 ct excellent cut stunner, but at Place des Vosges instead. Whatever.


Just a thought!


As for me, I knew he was going to propose when he showed up for date night in a suit with flowers and chocolates and looking really goofy and excited. See? Suit + flower + chocs for date night = "stupid" aka ''romantic''. It was pretty adorable, actually.

Aw, I love this story because I know that''s how it will be with BF. He can''t keep a secret from me for very long (I''m always getting presents before their occasion) and he''s not very spontaneous and never plans surprises or never really plans, well, anything. He will probably have some elaborate plan for the first time since I''ve known him that involves a suit or a weekend trip or something totally out of character.

I think most of us LIW only know roughly when to expect it. And if you have a spontaneous, always planning surprises boyfriend, I''m sure it makes it even harder to expect it!

 

[nerf14]

Hi Bee.....Yeah he finishes in May....but thats far....and we are planning to move abroad so i think it will be sooner than later...im just being impatient.... we are suppose to have dinner this weekend...my bday ...the decision is mine....as to where we want to go...but i keep saying stay home stay home to see his reaction and all i get is its up to you....i think he knows me too well and that i want to go out hahaha.....lets see Independant Gal - he did mention once lets dress up and go out....lets see what happens as the week goes on.... he is sooooooo bloody hard to read.... Yeah he is full of surprises when he wants to be.... Thanks so much for listening you dont know how much it means to me to have ppl to help me thru this.... i am trying so hard not to hold my breath...oh man....and there are no signs.....and i dont want to think it will happen then be disappointed.... GRRRR

 

[nerf14]

HAD TO POST GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

 

[nerf14]

GUESS WHO IS ENGAGED....GOT ENGAGED JAN 19!!!!!!!!!!
WHOOOHOOOO

thank you so much for listening to me and helping me thru some frustrating timeS

 

[Independent Gal]

Congratulations! So now let''s see some PICTURES!

 

[Patiently_Waiting]

What Indy Gal said - congratulations, and pictures, please!!!

 

[bee*]

woohoo

Congratulations! Would love to see pics!

 

[gwendolyn]

Hahaha, that''s great!! And kinda funny that the "WOOHOO" post is right after a "GRRRR" one.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[chocolatefudge]

Congratulations!! That''s brill!! Yay!!

 

[nerf14]

THANKS GUYS!!!!! I will def post some pictures soon