How do you ladies feel about all these engagements? Also LIW anxiety

[MermaidKelly]

I was just wondering how do all of you feel about all of the ladies that are suddenly getting proposed to? I don''t wanna sound mean, but seeing so many of you guys getting proposals on this forum tends to get me down.

I feel bad about my own situation and it leads to me fretting even MORE about wanting engagement and borderline having LIW meltdowns. Does anyone else feel this way? Don''t get me wrong, I am happy for the certain ladies are getting their engagements, but I am feeling very down about myself.

Also, on Halloween, BF and I witnessed a couple get engaged at a public event. Later that night I ended up basically crying my eyes out to my BF and having a LIW meltdown (I had some booze in me and that certainly didn''t help).

While I am glad that I talked to him and told him how I feel, I feel bad about it as well. I shouldn''t have put that kind of pressure on him.

Any advice is appreciated.

 

[Luckyeshe]

MK, I know I''m not an LIW, but I just want to give you some {{{{HUGS}}}}. You''re not the only one who feels the way you do. There have been several threads around here about other ladies who had to take a break from LIW because of this same thing. I know you''re happy for those who have just recently gotten engaged, but it makes you wonder how come it''s not you. If you feel any worse, I think you may want to take a short break from here. The holidays are coming and more and more ladies will be moving off the list. Having a meltdown will probably not help you and your BF. You may want to spend more time in the other sections like Hangout or so. Good luck, MK. Know that what you''re going through is normal.

 

[HopeDream]

Hugs!

Here''s what I tell myself - I find it makes being a LIW bearable:

Every engagament means you move up the LIW List.

Each other person''s engagement means yours will come sooner. (kind of like a bank line getting shorter)

It''s good that you were able to express your feelings to your BF, feel free to talk to us too!

(I like all of the engagements because I''m a sucker for a good story and pretty pictures)

A PS break might be a good idea, or a new book or videogame.

Dust!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I have been on the LIW site for over a year, and honestly it really doesn''t bother me. I am happy for everyone. Most girls join this thread because they know a proposal is coming. I have seen some girls on here less than a week, some months, and a few well over a year.

Everyone has their own timeline, and when we see a happy event like a proposal, we often forget many couples had a long period before that where they were trying to figure out if they were right for each other.

 

[Littletreasure]

With the holidays coming up I am sure there are going to be more and more proposals on the board! Despite all the proposals there are still plenty of people waiting right along with you. I am sorry it''s been so hard on you recently!

 

[honey22]

I was starting to sympathise with your post, up until '' I am happy for certain ladies are getting their engagements''. You should feel happiness for everyone that is getting engaged around here, they are your support network, the ones you are calling on right now for sympathy, yet you are only happy for some, and feeling crappy about your own situation?

As someone who is anxiously awaiting a proposal, I would have thought your attitude to your peers here waiting for the same thing would have been better.

Your time will come, just be gracious and wait patiently. Good things come to those who wait, and I assure you, I am certainly qualified to give you that advice.

 

[MrsHToBe]

I, myself, get very excited when I hear of a fellow LIW''s engagement. It''s when I hear of friend''s, or family member''s, etc. engagement that I get the pangs of jealousy. I figure it''s just because us LsIW have bonded over a common want, and commiserate about it.. maybe that if it happened for her, it could happen to me, y''know?

*hugs*.

 

[MermaidKelly]

Honey22, I did not mean that in the context you thought. I meant the "certain" ladies that are not "ladies in wating" anymore (because they are getting engaged). I certainly did NOT mean I was happy for some and not others!

 

[AustenNut]

I think when MermaidKelly said, "Don't get me wrong, I am happy for the certain ladies are getting their engagements, but I am feeling very down about myself," I think she accidentally omitted "who" as in "I am happy for the certain ladies who are getting their engagements." Certain here being used as the minority of women on the LIW list who are receiving their engagements in comparison with the rest who are still waiting. But maybe I am wrong.

Be that as it may, I think the others have given some good advice. If the LIW board is causing stress rather than being a place to relieve it, then you may want to take a break. Or try doing an activity with your boyfriend and spend time with him rather than in a place where the focus is on jewelery and engagements. And last, but not least...((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

ETA: Apparently I shouldn't start writing a post while watching tv, because MK already explained her comment. Oops!

 

[jaylex]

Awww Mermaid, I''m sorry to hear you''re feeling down. *Hugs* to you, my aquatic friend!

In the days (and weeks... and months... and YEARS) waiting for my proposal... i just tried to remember to enjoy the "anticipation" time... as hard as that may be.
Enjoy being bf and gf while everyone is still leaving you alone lol.

In reality, the proposal only lasts a day.. then it''s gone.. of course you''ll be able to go around for a few days talking about your new "fiance" and your engagement... but after that, pretty much the only people who''ll care to listen about it (besides your future fiance) will be other engaged ladies or nosey friends/family members.

Then comes the pressure of "when, where, how... am i invited?" wedding questions.

So even though it seems like it''s taking "forever".. just remember that every day (and every other proposal) brings you that much closer to your own!

Helpful hint: I stayed clear of the "proposal ideas" section of PS until AFTER I was engaged. I didn''t want hearing all of those guys work out the details of their proposals to make me jealous or crazy in some way. I think that really helped. So STAY AWAY from Proposal Ideas! lol.

and know you have a great support group in the LIW section!

Hang in there, girlie! Your time is coming!

 

[jenmarie]

Date: 11/17/2009 10:36:05 PM
Author: MrsHToBe
I, myself, get very excited when I hear of a fellow LIW''s engagement. It''s when I hear of friend''s, or family member''s, etc. engagement that I get the pangs of jealousy. I figure it''s just because us LsIW have bonded over a common want, and commiserate about it.. maybe that if it happened for her, it could happen to me, y''know?


*hugs*.

This is exactly how I feel! I think that it''s partly because I feel like an engagement of someone I know will lead people to ask, "What''s wrong with YOU guys?" You know? I''m trying to deal with the fact that I have less than a year left to wait (less than the 9 months he keeps telling me, hopefully!) and I just need to get over my anxiety about it. For me, right now it feels like it''s so close but still soooo far away!

 

[katomm]

I have to agree with Luckyshe. Prior to my engagement I had taken a month break from all the boards (ironically for other reasons) and it really helped. I would be so happy to see someone else got engaged but then would become very emotional which would build up over a few days and then I''d make BF''s life hell. He was seriously beginning to think something was wrong with me, I would just cry at the drop of a hat and kept mentioning "rings" way too much.

We would miss you but it''s totally understandable if you want to take a break. Hope you are feeling more uplifted soon.

 

[lilyfoot]

Mermaid, I understand what you''re saying. There does seem to have been a surge of engagements recently .. but since it''s the holiday season, there are probably tons more to come!

Don''t feel bad about yourself, or your situation. Other people getting engaged has nothing to do with when you''ll get engaged. It''s not like they''re taking your proposal away from you!

I''m sorry to hear you had an LIW meltdown. I hope your BF was as understanding as guys can possibly be at this time. I can imagine it''s hard to actually witness a proposal, when you want the same thing.

Do you have any friends (besides PS), that you can talk to about this? Or just hang out with, and not talk about engagement with? If you keep yourself busy, it''ll probably help. Exercise, go out with friends, walk the dog, whatever you have to do to get your mind off of this.

I hope you feel better

 

[princesss]

I''m thrilled for the LIWs that get engaged.

Look, engagements are not a competition or a race. It''s not like just because one person gets engaged, nobody else can, or will.

If it''s truly bothering you to watch other people get engaged, take a break from PS. Seriously. Engagements are what happens on the LIW boards, especially around this time of year. If you''re getting so wrapped up in the fact that it''s not happening for you, a break could be really healthy. When something hurts you, you stop doing it, right? You don''t touch hot stoves for fun, so why would you hang around a place that''s hurting you emotionally? Clear your head a little, sweetie. It can only help you.

 

[meresal]

Mermaid, You can't compare yourself to other people's relationships. You never know what is going on, and you should just be happy for everyone, becuase that is what they wanted. Do you want new members to be happy for you when you get asked? It's not healthy to not be happy for others.

Maybe taking a break from the website would be best for your relationship. You'd be surprised how much you won't think about it, if you distance yourself from others that do.

Your BF will propose when he is ready. TRUST me and every other girl that was "finally" proposed to... you don't want to go into the planning process without a man that is actually READY to get married. It will be miserable and it is not healthy for your relationship. Enjoy where you are right now, go out on dates, and stay out late with your freinds.

DH and I were driving home from a date night last night, and it felt like 3 years ago all over again, like he was driving my home. It was a great feeling, and I loved it. Don't get me wrong, I love being married, but dating is a wonderful time... It's fun, relaxing, and spontaneous. Enjoy it!

 

[hellosydney]

Awww, I know how you feel. I had a particularly bad streak in August when my boyfriend told me that his brother and his brother''s wife were expecting their second child. They are both just a year old than I am (I''m two years older than my boyfriend) and have been married for seven years and already have a daughter. This felt like kind of a slap in the face. I shed some tears over it but then I realized that every person is different and everyone''s timing is different. It does hurt a little when I see other people who have been together for a shorter amount of time than my boyfriend and I have but I try to be happy and gracious anyway because I think about when I finally DO get engaged, I want to be surrounded by love and support, not by jealousy or bitterness.

I guess the bottom line is... just be patient. Consider all the engagements leading up to yours as a prelude to how amazing it will be.

 

[lilyfoot]

wrong thread!

 

[vc10um]

Date: 11/18/2009 6:39:57 AM
Author: jenmarie

Date: 11/17/2009 10:36:05 PM
Author: MrsHToBe
I, myself, get very excited when I hear of a fellow LIW''s engagement. It''s when I hear of friend''s, or family member''s, etc. engagement that I get the pangs of jealousy. I figure it''s just because us LsIW have bonded over a common want, and commiserate about it.. maybe that if it happened for her, it could happen to me, y''know?


*hugs*.

This is exactly how I feel! I think that it''s partly because I feel like an engagement of someone I know will lead people to ask, ''What''s wrong with YOU guys?'' You know? I''m trying to deal with the fact that I have less than a year left to wait (less than the 9 months he keeps telling me, hopefully!) and I just need to get over my anxiety about it. For me, right now it feels like it''s so close but still soooo far away!

Thritto here. I joined LIW after my absolutely wonderful officemate, whom I adore, got engaged and within 24 hours has dropped the dreaded "I thought you would be first, vc10um". **palm to forehead**

I really do love hearing when all the LIWs get engaged and hearing their stories, because it reminds me that regardless of our timeline, the proposal A dreams up for me with be truly perfect for us, whether that''s now, over the holidays, or 6 months or more down the road. Every single lady on here has gotten a "perfect proposal"...it may not have been grand, or expensive, or anything like that...but each lady has written that their proposal was "perfect for them"...meaning the right time, the right place, and the right way.

I guess what I''m trying to say is that when those three things align: the time, the place, and the way, you too, MK, will get your perfect proposal!

(((HUGS))) in this tough time!

 

[absolut_blonde]

Trust me, I remember being in your shoes! It''s not fun at all. I think it''s a fairly normal feeling, though.

I had my fair share of LIW breakdowns before it happened. I got some good advice on here, though, and that did help - stuff like staying busy with hobbies, the gym, yoga, baking, friends, weekends to visit my family, etc. We adopted a kitten and he was a good distraction, too.

I know it''s hard to be patient. Sometimes I had to avoid LIW for awhile to take my mind off things but once I was ready to come back, everyone was here to offer helpful input and support.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

i would agree with lilyfoot! although it may be sad that you haven''t gotten your proposal yet, these other engagements that are happening are not happening to spite you or to make you feel like your bf doesn''t love you! i know it''s so tough waiting because you just wanna marry your man and be happily married. and boys can be stupid like that to keep a girl waiting

maybe you could look beyond the whole engagement thing and look at who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. engagement or not, he is still there, the same guy, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

i am really sorry that this anxiety is making you feel down about yourself! try not to compare what''s going on with other couples out there and focus on what''s going on with yours. that said, i hope the proposal happens soon! and if you feel like being on pricescope makes you more and more anxious, then consider a break, maybe just a few days or however long it takes you to feel ready to come back without getting sad whenever you read that a new proposal has happened.

best of luck, and lots of good-feeling dust!