How does one resist the temptation to snoop?

[nebe]

FH admitted today that he has the ring tangibly in his possession (we bought it on the 26th of Feb) and is going to proceed to torture me by going on several "trips" to throw me off until '"December 31st". He was initially bummed when I said I wanted to pick a ring myself, but was a total champ on the nine hour drive to/from GOG and even decided to amend the budget while we were there. We had the setting made, so though I have an idea of what it should look like, I don't know what it actually looks like. He wouldn't show me anything from Marie and now he's reaping revenge by holding me hostage with tight lips!

Tidbit of history- I am an atrocious snoop when it comes to surprises. I grew up scheming with my sister to locate and assess Christmas presents on a yearly basis during my entire childhood. We ruined locks so efficiently and were able to sniff out hiding spots with such uncanny accuracy that by the time I turned seven, my mother decided to keep everything in my grandmother's attic until Christmas eve. And only brought wrapped gifts in at 8am when she got home from work on Christmas morning! I am ashamed to say I still to this day cannot help myself when I know a potential plot is afoot. It's a compulsion.

Now I know the ring is around and I am trying SO hard not to "clean" every corner of the house and his car.

 

[amc80]

My brother and I used to be major Christmas snoopers. We would unwrap gifts and rewrap them. We'd find all the hiding spots. Then, as I've gotten older, I've realized that I'd rather be surprised. Now, I just think about how excited my fiance is to give me a gift, and how excited he is to see me surprised and happy. Snooping is a selfish way to take that away from him.

 

[E B]

It's a corny line from a corny movie (Bride Wars), but it's true: He should see your face when you first see the ring.

 

[PrincessNuggz]

FH admitted today that he has the ring tangibly in his possession (we bought it on the 26th of Feb) and is going to proceed to torture me by going on several "trips" to throw me off until '"December 31st". He was initially bummed when I said I wanted to pick a ring myself, but was a total champ on the nine hour drive to/from GOG and even decided to amend the budget while we were there. We had the setting made, so though I have an idea of what it should look like, I don't know what it actually looks like. He wouldn't show me anything from Marie and now he's reaping revenge by holding me hostage with tight lips!

This sounds SO much like my story. We bought a setting from GOG on February 26th as well and the diamond the following week. We were going to take a trip up there in mid March but since Tacori prices went up on March 1, we bit the bullet and just purchased over the phone.

Anyway, I'm not sure the ring is finished yet (though it should be any day), but, while I picked the stone and setting out myself, my boyfriend instructed Good Old Gold to ship the stone to him (and he may have told them to keep me in the dark as to when it arrives, too, though I've written to Sarah with a question about prongs and she said she'd let me know what they looked like when the setting got there). He also says he's going to torture me by making me wait for a while before the proposal... though I'm really hoping he's just messing with me.

I've almost contacted GOG and/or Tacori several times to inquire about the status of the setting (since they take, on average, 4 weeks to produce), but I'm really trying to resist and retain some element of surprise. We'll see. Given my daily visits to pricescope.com, I think he can see I really want this ring/proposal (and a life-long happy marriage, of course!), so I'm hoping it occurs sooner than later, but we'll see.

 

[Inkblot]

After my boyfriend found my lurking on PriceScope and other websites, he asked me to please stop my incessant research. He said it kindly, and that he "got the point" about what I wanted, and he appreciated my diligence to "find a deal" and a diamond. However, he said I was emasculating him a little bit. Though he knows I'm a researcher by trade and very type A, he would appreciate if I would stop my searching and allow him to do something traditionally male, unique, and important to him. Granted, it took a little wind out of my sails and involves a great deal of trust that he'll "get it right" when the time comes, but even AFTER he has the ring, I know I need to bow out and respect his wishes. Proposals and rings are really a rite of passage to some men, and I had no idea how my meddlesome ways were bothering him. Is this the case with your sweetheart?

I know I get carried away and think I'm "helping" or "he'll never know if I peek"...but I know I need to respect his boundaries just as he does mine.

So resist!

 

[hearts-arrows_girl]

I too, would want to search it out!!! But alas, you should wait till he presents it to you. There is no way you can fake a first time seeing of your precious ring, and he may be really disappointed if he knows you didn't wait for him.

 

[karpouzi]

I would just be honest with him, tell him you don't want to snoop but you can't help yourself, and ask him to put it in a safe deposit box at the bank!

 

[MayFlowers]

I'm a huge snoop too. I always ruined my Christmases by snooping. I remember once I begged and begged my parents for an iPod knowing full well that they never splurged enough on Christmas to get me something like that (our Christmas gifts are usually small things). I remember snooping that year and lo and behold, I found my iPod. I was so disappointed in myself and seriously practiced my "surprised" face for the two weeks before Christmas. Though my parents couldn't tell the difference, I still think it would have been a much better Christmas morning had I not known.

So, do everything you can to resist. Honestly, like others have said, he needs to be the one to see your *first* reaction to the ring. It will make it soooo much better once the time actually comes!!

 

[nebe]

So sorry to have done a post and run, I had a really busy week on campus and didn't have the time to come back.

News on the homefront is I have successfully avoided any snooping despite the fact the ring is in the house somewhere. I did talk to FH about it and he was very stern in making sure I stay honest- but he did tell me something sweet; He hasn't shown the precious to anyone else. Infact, he hasn't opened the package from GOG at all!

He told me when he wanted to make sure that when he proposes, at that very moment and together, we'll first and only people to have ever seen it.

Past snooping indiscretions may be, but I couldn't possibly ruin that for either of us. So now... I wait!

 

[isaku5]

Your FH is very sentimental, it seems; I love that in a guy

I hope you don't have to wait very much longer

 

[nebe]

Your FH is very sentimental, it seems; I love that in a guy

I hope you don't have to wait very much longer

He isn't normally, but this particular situation is making him sorta smushy. Which is
Thank you!!

 

[Blackpaw]

You must resist, Nebe it sucks but it will be so much the better to see your ring for the first time when he's holding it on bended knee as it were.

LOVE his comment about Dec 31st - my SO doesnt have the ring yet but will soon-ish, and he keeps saying he's proposing on Xmas Eve. He'll say, "Not far away now, December 24" just to make fun of me

Or should i be who knows

 

[blossom1322]

I am Very Glad I came across this thread! I am leaving for Hawaii in 2 weeks with my SO and am 99% positive that's where he's gonna pop the question. The anticipation has been driving me crazy Especially because it's a custom designed ring that I've had some input on. I have been VERY tempted to snoop around the house. But you ladies have given me a few great reasons to wait. Thank You!

 

[rubyprincess]

Do you think seeing a picture is the same as snooping? Also how close to you think a photo looks to the ring IRL?

 

[crhq5c]

I wouldn't resist the temptation to snoop. I am the type of person who always found my Christmas gifts before Christmas (I got that from my mom; she always did the same thing). I guess that's why my boyfriend is keeping it at his parent's until he gives it to me...so sad that I can't snoop it out, but at least I got to see the CAD and try on the wax model to hold me over.

 

[nebe]

Do you think seeing a picture is the same as snooping? Also how close to you think a photo looks to the ring IRL?

I don't believe seeing a picture would be snooping, but he does; He won't show me the one Marie sent. Macro photography does distort quite a bit but I think he's less worried about that (or me obsessing over the sole existing photo) and trying to go more for "out of sight, out of mind" than anything else. And since HE'S GIVING ME ABSOLUTELY NO CLUES, I can assure you that THAT IS NOT THE CASE.

...ahem.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Keep in mind that there will be only one "first time" of seeing the ring. He deserves to see that look on your face, unpracticed or faked. You'll get to see the ring millions of times after that. Don't ruin that special moment for him. Keep it in your mind that that's your gift to him.

Besides, if he knows you that well I guarantee the ring is NOT in the house or his car. It's probably stashed safely at him mom's!

 

[leshi19]

I would totally not be able to resist so have already suggested when we finally get a ring made that he should keep it at his parents house... he knows me so well that he said that was already his plan

Your SO sounds so lovely being all sentimental - hope you don't have to wait too long!

 

[wwmd8118]

Don't ruin that special moment for him. Keep it in your mind that that's your gift to him.

LOVE this and couldn't agree more.