How hard is it to plan a wedding long distance?

[peonygirl]

My boyfriend and I are in the soon-to-be engaged category, and we''re having trouble figuring out whether to have the wedding in my hometown (San Diego) or Chicago (where we live now). Since I''m a grad student I wouldn''t be able to fly home very frequently, and my mom is also not a person who I think would relish planning a wedding. I don''t mind hiring a wedding planner if we do it in San Diego however. The wedding would probably be the typical fairly-formal 150-person affair. Any advice, thoughts? Thanks!

 

[larussel03]

I know a girl planning a long distance wedding and she hasn''t complained at all about it being too hard. Her MOH lives in her hometown, and has helped her out alot. I may end up having to plan my wedding from afar as well, since my bf is applying to PhD programs, and we want to have our wedding in 2 years back in MA. I guess as long as you have enough time, it''s possible to do it without freaking out. Plus, if you hire a wedding planner that''d help out alot!

 

[flutterby]

I am currently planning my wedding from afar. We are having the wedding in Vegas and also live in Chicago. I know Vegas is used to having destination brides, but it seems pretty easy. Investigate florist, look over catering menu''s. Make sure you pick the site in person! You can also get help on the knot message boards in SD everyone seems pretty willing to help, even if they arent all as friendly as us here on PS. Regardless, I think it can be done and it doesnt have to be too terribly stressful!

 

[appletini]

My BF and I plan to have a destination wedding. I might take one trip with either his mom or my aunt to look at venues. But I will definitely hire a good wedding coordinator in that location to do all the leg work for me. Good Luck!

 

[Faerievert]

I''ve been planning from a distance (for Louisville, KY from Ann Arbor, MI), although now I''m moving only an hour or so from the venue. I wouldn''t book a venue or photographer without visiting in person, but that can be done in one trip, or if there''s already ones you know you really want, that''s cool too. Either city will be rather expensive, so I think it''s up to you based on where has a location you like and would be easier on guests. The internet is a huge help, as are friends/relatives who live in the area to help find florists, hairstylists, officients, etc. If you could do at least 2 trips to help book vendors it would be a lot easier, but everything could be done from afar if your personality will allow it.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

We are getting married in Milwaukee, WI and live in Charlotte, NC. My parents and sister live in Milwaukee but I haven''t had to use their help too much. I have been back home for two weekends since we got engaged and have most the planning done. I am VERY good at quick decisions so that is helpful. Also we are getting married at a country club (we only looked at clubs and hotels for this reason) so we can don''t have to worry about table rentals, food, cake, ceremony site (getting married on the golf course), because the club takes care of EVERYTHING. We also already have our photographer, florist, dress, bridemaids dresses, so the only thing left is a DJ and small stuff. I literally planned everything in 72 hours so far. I feel like doing it thise way is LESS stress because I know there are things I cannot do from here so I just don''t worry about them.

 

[rms]

I planned everything long distance in my hometown and on short notice. I had a couple of trips that ended up timing out well to find the reception site, talk to the officiant, etc., and then I was there for 1 week before the actual wedding. I think everything worked out really well with very little stress. It is definitely possible. If you have friends and/or family to help out some, great, but even if you don''t you should be fine.

 

[icekid]

I think a lot of it depends on how busy you are! We live in Philadelphia, and we''re getting married in Buffalo. And we''re not getting married until Sept ''07. I am going to try to get the majority of things booked this winter, as next year I''ll be in the clinic all of the time and going home is going to be next to impossible. Otherwise, my mom is going to be checking out places for me.

 

[peonygirl]

Thanks for all the feedback so far, keep it coming! It sounds like it's not as hard as I thought it would be to plan long-distance, but I think I'm mostly worried about getting into tangles with my mom if I do that. She never had a wedding of her own and could care less about anything wedding-related, so she might not be too excited about helping me. We shall see though, I guess I should have a frank talk with her!




OT: Icekid, do you go to UPenn Med? You can page me if you want.

 

[alyson423]

Hey, we faced some of the same issues you did- I am from upstate NY, but we were living in Boston. My mom, too, is great when you ask her for specific help with things, but not the type to plan an entire wedding. I ultimately decided to plan things close to where we lived. Part of the reason for this was b/c so many of our guests (friends, most of my husband''s relatives) are from Boston- we figured more would show up than if we went to the wilds of Western NY.

Is this a factor for you? Are a significant number of your guests more likely to go to a wedding in CA or Chicago? One thing to consider.

I also wanted to be able to meet vendors in person with relative ease. Really, though, if you''re organized, and you narrow your choices down to just a couple/few for each aspect of the wedding, you can meet with all your vendors in one or two long weekend trips. If you plan on a relatively long engagement (ours was 15 months), you can meet them when you''re home for holidays, birthdays, etc. Honestly, even with a local wedding, the first time I met my florist was the day of the wedding. Same with the hair and makeup people. "Hi, nice to meet you, here''s how I want my hair..."

Not the way everyone would do it, but luckily, it worked for me. Really detailed, good communication via email is key. Besides, lots of things can be done whereever you are- invitations, favors, the dress, rings, etc.

Even planning locally, the internet is a bride''s best friend! Not being from Boston, I didn''t really know where to start with vendors. The local board of www.theknot.com, and indiebride.com are great for wedding resources and ideas.

Two of my sisters got married in Europe- and planned each of their weddings from the States. Talk about long distance! The key for each of them was organization. Big accordion folder suitcases! They each also took a couple trips to their locations over the course of their engagements in order to nail down final vendors.

Good luck, and let us know what you decide!

 

[nicolejrx]

My fiance are getting married in San Diego and we are planning from up by Palm Springs where we live currently. It isn''t too bad although we can make lots of weekend trips down there. We just did alot of research online and have used only referals for all of our vendors. It makes it easy because we only had to go to one florist, dj, cakery, etc. That is definitely my recommendation as far as out of town planning...
Nicole