How long did you shop for the ring?

[Mimikins24]

Now I know that the LIW forum may not be the best place to ask this sort of question --- as we are still waiting for the ring! --- but I am hoping that both ladies who are waiting and those that have "graduated" from this forum will respond.

How long did you shop for the ring (either together or your FI alone)?
How long did you wait bewteen the purchase and the actual proposal?

I ask this because I am starting to reach my frustration saturation with ring shopping. A year ago (on Sunday) my BF of 3.5 years at the time confessed that he had been looking for a ring for "a while". It turned out that he had already been looking by himself for about 4 or 5 months. After he told me he had been looking, he asked if I would like to get involved with picking it out. Of course I said yes to that!!! So we looked quite actively during the summer break from classes and the first couple of months last fall. Since then his interest seems to have dropped off significantly.

I guess I am confused as to why it would take 16+ months to come up with a ring. I know that he hasn''t bought anything yet and has had the money saved up since last January. When I ask why he has shopped this long, he usually responds with something like, "I am waiting for the perfect ring". Now it is wonderful that he feels that way, but we essentially picked out the setting and the stone requirements last June, so I don''t understand the holdup. Lately, it has just felt like stalling to me.

My frustration is running rampant today with law school exams looming just 2 weeks ahead, so I am hoping to hear some experiences from the rest of you ladies and maybe then I will feel less crazy!!!

 

[Rhapsody]

Lets see, we picked out the setting about 2 years (yes, years) ago, bought the stone a year ago, ordered the setting in October, finally got the setting done and stone set the first week of February. 2 months with the ring sitting in the house and still no proposal.

So, the process can take a while

I know my boyfriend seemed physically incapable of seriously thinking about the ring while he was still in school. The stress of putting together his portfolio and the presentation he has to give for graduation pushed everything else from his mind. So, maybe your boyfriends wanning interest is just because he''s stressed about school and exams. Men don''t multitask well as a general rule

 

[lulutheleo]

We picked out a diamond and setting in less than 2 weeks. He already paid for it, so now I think we are waiting on them to finish the ring. I am in the dark now that we picked one out, but that is totally fine with me.

I have to admit, you ladies here are way more patient than I am.

 

[nytemist]

Picked out the stone and setting the same day. He thought I would would want something sort of elaborate, but I''m a solitaire girl, so it''s a very simple setting. The ring was ready in about 2 weeks. During the 2 weeks he thought up his plan. The day it was ready they called him, next day, Feb 8, he picked it up and proposed that night.

He really didn''t see the point in drawing out the proposal.

 

[AmberWaves]

Um, let''s see. We started talking about the ring last October. We started actively looking last month, but then REALLY started looking (with intent to purchase) two weeks ago. We got the ring last Tuesday (hm, have had it a week!), and he''s proposing this Friday. So a few months. He couldn''t possibly have the ring longer than two weeks, it would have killed him.

 

[lilmaria]

K.. he surprised me once at the mall in april of 2003 when he brought me into a store to see the types of settings i like...didn''t go back till december of 03 then little mention in 04, searched in april 05, did ALOT of internet shopping, came very close to getting a stone at a b&m store, but I thought it would be better online and then poof....family emergency ate up the money fund...started looking again in Jan 06 and he says its coming in a few weeks...i know it''s being made, though I dont know if it''s finished yet, if he has it or if he''s waitign for the day he gets it...hmmmmmm

 

[sunkist]

Date: 3/28/2006 5:27:13 PM
Author: AmberWaves
Um, let''s see. We started talking about the ring last October. We started actively looking last month, but then REALLY started looking (with intent to purchase) two weeks ago. We got the ring last Tuesday (hm, have had it a week!), and he''s proposing this Friday. So a few months. He couldn''t possibly have the ring longer than two weeks, it would have killed him.

Amber! He''s proposing this Friday!??!

YayY!!!!!! I''m so excited for you! You must be so excited to

 

[stermag]

Hm, I like statistics...

BF first exclaimed "let''s get engaged" in late October or early November of 2005. We stopped by some fine jewelery stores right away and walked out with sticker shock. Started looking online, determined rather quickly that this was the way to go. All in all, it took us 2 months to find the stone; the setting just "happened" upon me (in other words, I woke up one day with the odd conviction that RC was it).

The ring arrived on Jan 3rd and BF proposed exactly 3 months later. Rounding up, I would say 6 months from the decisive conversation to the engagement.

 

[Mimikins24]

Well we had a conversation at dinner tonight that kind of ironed out the questions that I had in terms of my timeline. We had originally agreed on a $5000 budget at my insistence. I don''t wear a lot of jewellery and I don''t really want anything too ostentatious to wear everyday. Apparently he has doubled the budget without my knowledge and so he has basically started searching all over again with this in mind.

Although I worry about the budget, he assures me that he has saved this much already (due in part to the fact that we moved in together and we share costs now). He promised that we will be engaged by the time we return to school in September this year even though we will be living several hours apart all summer due to our summer jobs. I guess that I got good news in the end --- and all told he will have shopped for the ring for about 20 months by the time he proposes --- assuming that he waits until the last minute to propose!!!

 

[Mannequin]

Our first memorable conversation about rings took place over dessert at the Cheesecake Factory in Chicago over Memorial Day weekend last year. I made a gallery at adiamondisforever.com and emailed it to him shortly afterwards. The topic really didn't come up again until my BF started his final year of law school. We have both been actively looking online and in stores since about January/February this year. He hasn't talked to my folks yet, and he has begun to ask what kind of a proposal I might want him to make. He is getting close to making a purchase.

Also, YAY Amber! Good luck in Florida!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Hmmmm.... If I remember right, he shopped for a ring for about two months and then waited another two months to propose?? I''m not sure if that''s completely correct.

 

[KristyDarling]

Hmmm, maybe your man needs a little "nudge." Or at least he needs to provide you with an update on what's been on his mind. I agree that 16+ months of shopping/discussing rings without any end result (that you know of) is a little prolonged. Is it possible that he already has the ring and is planning the proposal?

We started talking about the ring (sending links to Bluenile to each other) about 4-5 weeks before the actual proposal, which happened on my birthday. We ordered the ring 2 weeks prior to the proposal, and received it about 2-3 weeks after I had already said yes.

ETA: we started talking about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together long before the proposal. Like, about 1 year into the relationship. We were engaged 2 years after that.

 

[Mimikins24]

Thanks for the replies ladies --- seems like there is a lot of variation on the amount of shopping required.

KristyDarling - I had a conversation with my BF last night to clarify where things were at and now i understand why this process has been so drawn out. I dished the details in a post last night on this thread. Basically, he has doubled his budget since last summer when we did all the shopping, so he has spent the last few months saving the rest of the money. Now he is just looking for the right stone (an asscher, so it is a bit difficult to find a great one). He said that we will be official by the time I return for my last year of law school as he has a couple of leads on great stones!!!

 

[firebirdgold]

I''m amazed at how patient some of you guys are! I wish I could be more like you.

My bf asked me for info on the sort of things I liked and directions for research in January this year. He probably won''t have time to look until May. I''m just praying I''ll dig up enough patience to last until the end of september. (I realize that it''s possible he may want to wait until after his sister''s wedding). So that will be only 9 months from when he asked for info and .. eeek! 15+ months since he first unofficially asked me to marry him. Geez! It does take some of them a while to build up momentum!
For me it''ll really help if he keeps me apprised. There is simply no way I could last even a month without some little mention of it to reassure me that it''s on his mind. So I''m insecure,

I don''t think I''ll ever completely believe that he actually wants to spend his life with me until our names are on the paper!

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/28/2006 4:10:39 PM
Author:Mimikins24
How long did you shop for the ring (either together or your FI alone)?
How long did you wait bewteen the purchase and the actual proposal?

We shopped for a few months...I always new what type of setting and type of stone I wanted...just got a better version of that.

Unbeknownst to me, he had started the process of having the ring made anywhere between a week and a month after we had both agreed on a setting....the last ring shopping we did happened in September ''05, I''m guessing he started having it made in October, he actually received the finished ring a week before Thanksgiving but didn''t propose until Dec 1.

Long freakin time to wait between September and December.

 

[icekid]

well, from the time I started looking until the time the ring was finished... almost a year! Of course, you''re asking a really diamond obsessed crowd around here

 

[Jelly]

I''ve been shopping for my dream wedding ring for as long as i can remember.

 

[princessv]

Hrmm..my guy first talked about rings with me in September 04 at first it started out as a promise ring then progressed to engagement ring within a week''s time. So we started looking in late September/Early October 04 and because of him dragging his feet plus a bad experience with a B&M, we didn''t start looking again till Sept/Oct 05 and then he finally(!) proposed the day before Thanksgiving. I have to say towards the end I definitely was NONE too keen about being a LIW and ready to kill him...haha I''m sure some of you on PS remember.

Mimikins: wow you guys must get done early! I still have 3 weeks till my reading period and then exams. I definitely know the frustration of engagement + law school exams. My guy wanted to wait till after Thanksgiving until the weekend before exams

I remembered we got in a BIG fight about how inconsiderate that really was

he was just thinking about trying to surprise me not about my schedule...which is sweet but doesn''t help the grades!

 

[Mimikins24]

Thanks for all the shared experiences ladies!!! I know that I just have to wait until this fall and everything will be in place. I just lost my grandfather this morning after a short battle with cancer --- so between that and the upcoming exam schedule, I don't have much time to worry about anything else.

Princess V --- I am in Canada and I think maybe our schedule is different up here. My last day of classes is next Friday and the exam period runs for the following two weeks. I write my last exam on April 21, then I get a week off and I start my summer position May 1.

ETA --- I made my BF promise that there wouldn't be any engagement activity (shopping or otherwise) until after our exams are done. I don't know how you managed to stay focused during yours Princess V!!!