How long does it take to plan?

[Aloros]

I''m not engaged yet, but the proposal should be soon *twiddles thumbs*. He has the ring and is just waiting for a good time I think. Things have been crazy for us both lately. My beloved cat died and there has been some custody drama involving his son.

I asked him when he''d want to get married and he said "June? Isn''t that when everyone else gets married?"

How much time do you need to plan, and is it possible to do when you are busy with other things in your life? In between now and then we are planning to purchase a house, possibly take custody of his son (I''m sort of pushing for this...I do NOT like the situation he is in now), he''s polishing the rough draft of his novel, I''m going to start submitting mine, all the while working full-time jobs. Plus, his has been pulling him away for business trips every week this month...though this project should be done by the end of October.

Everything will be more settled by February-March. Yikes!

Ideally, I''d like to do something fun, fairly low-stress, and casual. Is that possible in the time given? Both of us are laid back and non-picky. How long are you taking to plan your wedding?

Thanks!

 

[Independent Gal]

It really depends on how detail oriented you are. My dad''s last wedding, which was a formal affair for 100 people, was planned in 4 months (from the moment his last divorce went through. Sheesh). We are planning ours in 9 months with no problem or rush.

The only possible hitches are finding places and vendors who aren''t booked. But if you''re doing things casual and you don''t use traditional wedding venues, it''s really no problem. Just buy a dress of the rack (ordering takes 6 months) and DIY your invites.

I would say the minimum time to feel comfortable and not rushed would probably be 6 months. But it can be done faster in a pinch if you improvise and stick to the essentials!

 

[Independent Gal]

ETA: I guess think of it this way: your wedding is a big party. How long does it necessarily take to plan a big party? Not that long. It''s only the ''extras'' that might take a while, so pick and choose between those.

 

[E B]

Date: 10/11/2007 1:15:43 PM
Author: Independent Gal

I would say the minimum time to feel comfortable and not rushed would probably be 6 months. But it can be done faster in a pinch if you improvise and stick to the essentials!

I agree; 6-9 months comfortably. Any less than that, and you're going to have to make sacrifices (which ISN'T a bad thing!), but you'll be married sooner! I had 2 years to plan, which was just too much time, IMO. I started way too early, and by the time I was in the home stretch, I was so sick of planning. DH and I were relieved when it was all over.

 

[surfgirl]

I planned our mini wedding/elopement in less than 2 months. Even though it was an elopement, it had all the elements of a larger wedding so I dont think it would have taken me any more time to plan for a small wedding, only adjusting how many would show for dinner and blocking more hotels rooms. It''s doable. I''d recommend if possible, setting some time aside to focus on getting a lot done in bursts. Like if you have some time off over the holidays, get moving on making some big decisions and making bookings during that time. Make lists!

 

[anchor31]

I started planning in March and would be done by now if it wasn''t for school. So I agree, 9 months is good. My two years is pretty long, but I''m grateful I got the opportunity to book my reception venue early because they are booked out 18 months in advance.

 

[Pandora II]

I have a stressful day job and then I'm also a local politician, so I don't have huge amounts of time.

I've been very grateful for having 19 months. Mind you, I couldn't have got married any earlier as my venue is already booking up for 2009 and has been fully booked for 2008 since April.

I've been able to take my time and really think things through which has been very unstressful. I've still got lots to tick off on my list, but other than music it's just a case of signing off rather than anymore research.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We were engaged for 7 months and I felt even that was too much time. We booked the venue and I bought my dress at the 6 month mark, then did the caterers, photographer, cake, invites, table/linen rentals, etc. at the 4 month mark and it was all done within about 3 weeks. Once the big things were done I started worrying about the details (the nitty gritty stuff is what causes stress) and wish I didn''t have 4 months to worry about that kind of stuff. We both worked full time and reserved our weekends for non-wedding stuff so we had a normal summer and the wedding was perfect. Each person is different but I honestly feel that you can something you''ll LOVE in 9 months or less.

 

[San Diego Bride]

i think you can plan in whatever timeframe you have. i planned in about 6 months, but the big stuff only took a few weeks (venue, photographer, florist, food). i think most people plan with hectic lives these days. between our engagement and wedding we moved half way across the country, bought a new house, both started new full-time jobs at a hospital with a lot of nights and weekends, took boards in our fields and dealt with a severe illness in the family. our wedding was still everything we wanted.

so relax, decide what is most important to you, and have fun with it. remember to try to enjoy this time. as stressful as it might be, your engagement is a unique (hopefully once in a lifetime) period.

 

[nytemist]

I''m also echoing the others- really depends on how many details you will have. We planned ours in 7 1/2 months on our own. What made it simple was, most importantly, small guest list. Also we found a venue that supplied tables, chairs, linens, china, glassware and silverware so we didn''t have rent them. We cut out flowers, programs, menu cards, didn''t book a church. Wedding was in October, so the cake deadline was end of July, as they would be busy working on orders for Halloween parties as well. Had my dress made about 4 months prior, so I didn''t have to worry about ordering one and having it come in on time.

Also, something else to ease the stress of venues and prices, you may want to be flexible on the day of the week and time of year. June is wedding month, so tons of places will be booked way, way in advance. Our wedding was on a Tuesday evening in a relatively off month, so dates were available and we saved a lot of money.

 

[Aloros]

Phew! That''s a relief. I was personally thinking August sometime. Two of my cousins (whom I love like siblings!) got married last year and the year before in August right around the same time. It''s almost become a family tradition! Or it will if I set my date around that time. Then we''ll have to pester another cousin to enter into matrimony in another year''s time.

I''m not huge into details, I''m not very in to flowers or centerpieces...I just want everyone to have a good time!

So nine months seems to be the consensus. August is in ten months. My bf better get crackin''!!

 

[Independent Gal]

Let that boy know!

In the meantime, no reason you can''t start thinking everything through. That''s half the battle.

 

[zoebartlett]

I think that depending on what type of wedding you want (formal or casual) and where you want to have it, the time it takes to plan could vary a great deal. I know it can be done in a few months'' time but I think generally it takes approximately 6 months to a year.

My sister had a 14 month engagement. My FI and I got engaged on May 6th and we''re getting married on July 12th. I did much of the planning and booking over the summer when I wasn''t working, so I had plenty of time to get the big stuff done.

 

[Fancy605]

I think it all just depends on the type of person you are.

My Husband and I planned our wedding in 7 months. It was pretty large (200+ people attended), and it was more elaborate than I expected: it included a dancing reception with a full seated dinner, appetizers, drinks, etc; we planned our entire play list for the reception; worked with the minister to write vows, etc. At the same time I was working full time (Teaching and doing after school tutoring and coaching), AND I was in my last semester of my Masters. I was preparing for my Oral examinations and taking 2 night classes. He was working full time and preparing to begin law school. Plus, we built a house during that time, and we were always going to meet with the builder/do walk through things or inspections. Needless to say, we were pretty busy, but we still managed to have our dream wedding. I think anyone can do it provided that he/she is good at time and stress management. Plus, you will have your future fiance to help you.

 

[jas]

Hi there. I did it in four months, 200+ guests, fairly formal. But we got married in October...a June wedding may need things secured more in advance.

We did get married on a Sunday, which may have eased things and given us more options.

I did have to buy a dress "off the rack" but it was glorious.

You can do it!!!

 

[HollyS]

Having a semi-formal, smallish affair at an inn that specializes in weddings. Started looking, making notes, and searching the web as soon as I was engaged (June 06); but did not start THE PLANNING until June of this year. We don''t live in a huge metropolitan area, so venues and vendors are not booked a year in advance here. And, we are having a *Sunday* late afternoon cocktail party affair - so the inn was available, the photog was available, the classical guitarist was available, etc.
The dress is a custom order - and I did not order it until June; but my salon is very small and personal, and does not have hundreds of clients.

Really, it will depend very much on where you live, or where you would like to be married. And if a venue offers a wedding planner in the price they quote, USE them. Ours is taking care of the decorating, the setup and takedown, the cake, the uncorking and pouring of bubbly, keeping the reception moving along, making sure music is playing, etc., etc., etc. -- for no extra charge, just a very nominal gratuity which we would have paid anyway.

If all goes according to plan, and it should, it will be just what we wanted, without a lot of fuss on our part.

So, start gathering info and swatches and pictures; it will be invaluable when you are ready to plunge ahead. I highly recommend all the thousands of photos of real weddings on theknot.com. I stole tons of ideas from those brides!

 

[Pandora II]

That''s what I have used the extra time for - loads of research. I have kept a scrapbook of things I liked in magazines and it quickly became clear what direction I was heading in. The overall look has changed hugely in my mind, but I''m now happy that it will be totally right and very personal to FI and I.

A lot depends on how much you plan to do yourself. Although I run lots of huge events for work - Balls for 400+, I have a big budget and just hire people to do everything. For my wedding I have half the average budget for the UK, and I''m a control freak. I have spent huge amounts of time sourcing things for less $$.

I''m DIYing a lot of things, and roping in friends to help. For example, I''m doing the flowers, making the wedding cake, all stationery except the actual invitations and the favours etc.

Our ceremony is non-religious so we have written our own vows - I did that early on and have been editing at odd intervals - which has worked well. I love my venue, but other than catering they are very hands off which means I have to organise everything from setting up to breaking down - luckily I have the place from the Thursday before the wedding till the Monday afterwards to do it all in.

Basically it will come down to how detail orientated you are, how flexible your budget is, the sort of wedding you want and how much your venue can do for you.

 

[Aloros]

Thanks for all the tips and advice!

I''ll start researching things now - I think that would be the best idea. Poor bf is so stressed right now that I''d hate to be all "WHEN are you going to propose?" He always follows through when he says he''s going to do something, so I''m not worried. I know he wants to make it special, so maybe later this month or next month when things aren''t so crazy. Besides, I''m still heartbroken about my cat, so I''m not really in the mood to be proposed to right now.

Perusing dresses and venues and cakes at my computer with a blanket and some tea sounds nice. Thanks again!

 

[monarch64]

Aloros, attitude is everything, and I know that is cliche, but it''s very true. I planned our wedding 4 years ago in 9 months, actually I didn''t even start planning until we were 7 months out with the prodding of DH..lol. we found a venue, then I found a dress (off the rack, didn''t need alterations until last minute when I''d suddenly lost a few lbs), invites were not a big deal as my aunt took care of those, menu and seating chart came pretty easy, etc. You can do this! You can certainly both work FT and have things going on on the side (novels, what have you) and still plan a wedding. Just be prepared to improvise and it sounds like you''re the type of couple who can do that. You''ll be fine, good luck to you.