How long

[Codependent Gal]

How long does it take to pick out a diamond, pick out a setting, pay for the ring and have it made. How long does the process take from start to finish? My boyfriend has promised that a proposal is coming within two months. My internal deadline is exactly 59 days from today. He just started looking, like last weekend. I am wondering if he even has enough time to get a ring made in that time. How long did your rings take to complete?

 

[brooklyngirl]

I''m very picky so for us, it took about 2 months to find the setting. It''s a Beaudry setting, so I had to get a diamond from them as well. The setting is made by hand so that takes 6 weeks (at least). Then there were another 2 or so weeks of interaction with Bill Pearlman re diamond selection, diamond appraisal, and ring design changes. So, all in all about 4 months, but it''s not on my finger yet, and I don''t know if it got here yet (I sure hope it has

). So all, a little over 4 months.

However, if you get a setting that''s already made you save 8 weeks . It just depends on what''s currently available, and what you''re looking for. I think it can be done in 59 days

.

 

[EricaR]

I picked a setting and diamond from Whiteflash. I had been shopping for a few weeks, but as soon as I found the one I wanted it was FAST! We paid the next day and it shipped about three weeks later. They initially told us it would be 5 to 8 weeks for them to make it so I was thrilled it was done sooner. It was shipped overnight so all in all I had it three weeks and a day after placing the order.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

It all depends on how custom your ring is and how your vendor works. Some places, like Whiteflash, tend to surpass expectation in terms of time but other vendors, especially local stores, seem to be a bit on the slower side.

I''ve read some of your other threads and I definately understand that you are more than anxious for your proposal. If you know that he is working on getting you a ring, would you ever consider extending your internal deadline to allocate ample time for the construction of the ring? I know that personally, if it came down to a self-imposed deadline and I was either going to get my dream ring or settle for something pre-fab in a store, I''d be willing to push out my deadline to allow time for the ring to be designed and created perfectly.

 

[mimzy]

it took my FI from May until September to find a diamond, pick out the setting, have it made and have it shipped to him. hopefully it will be much faster for you!!

 

[jkil0313]

When my BF and I decided we were ready to move forward we when diamond/ring shopping just to get an idea of the cost. We are both still in college, he is about to graduate, so we had to keep that in mind. We started with a $3500 budget, but it increased as he would refuse to get anything lower than an E color and VS1 clarity (Size doesnt matter to me). But he saved for almost a year, and ended up spending $5000 last weekend. But I picked the diamond from James Allen and he had it set in a band. The whole process of ring making took a week before it was over nighted to me. (We aren''t engaged yet, he is hiding it away, I dont even know what it looks like).

I dont think the actual ring part can take too long as long as it isnt something that will take weeks to be custom made and you already know what you want. Took me a few months to decide what shape I wanted and him a while to save. But if your SO has the money now and knows what he is after shouldn''t take long. Most vendors like James Allen and Whiteflash are very accomodating to schedules, to the best of their abilities.

 

[Codependent Gal]

I don''t think that I can wait even one more day. I was ready to end the relationship and then he promised that he was getting a ring, etc. and that he would do it within two months. If he goes past the deadline, it really isn''t my fault and it just shows that he does not take my feelings seriously. He should have done this months ago and I am not going to feel sorry for him just because he waited until the last absolute minute to do it. Another reason for my strict deadline is that we have a wedding to go to at the end of May and I told him that I am not going to that wedding unless I am engaged. I know it may sound stupid and childish, but we have been together a lot longer than this couple and I can''t believe that they are going to be married before we are even engaged. I know that I should be more mature but I know that I will be totally miserable at that wedding if we aren''t engaged.

I want a really simple ring, I went to the store and tried on rings that I thought that I would like (halo, pave and all that) and they looked really stupid because my hands are so small. The only kind that looked good on me were plain solitaires, but I do want a micropave wedding band. I think that he should be able to get one in time. Also, we are going on a trip at the end of March and I Really hope that he does it then, but I don''t think that he is going to be able to get one in time.

 

[choro72]

My bf asked for my dad''s permission on NYE.
Jan 1-Jan 19, 3 weeks to decide what the heck I wanted. Mind you, I did most of the research. If it had been completely up to my bf, he would still be looking to this day!!
Jan 19-Jan 26, 1 week to give suggestions of online vendors, and to convince him to actually contact them. Lots of misunderstanding found here, and sad to say, many tears.
Jan 26-Feb 6, More than 2 weeks of going back and forth with disappointing responses from them. Won''t go into details...
Feb 8-Feb 18, 2 weeks of interviewing several local jewelers. Ordered ring on Feb 18, President''s day.
Feb 18-now 3 weeks, and STILL patiently waiting to hear from them to see the CAD. I have told my bf to bug them about it already.
We have entered into the third month, and probably will go into the fourth month, maybe even five.

As you can tell, there was a lot of nagging on my part

. I''m not as bad as it sounds though...If it was up to my bf, he would spend and entire year looking for a ring.
As Keepingthefaith said, would you reconsider? I have followed some of your posts as well, but isn''t your frustration stemmed from the fact that your bf acted on nothing? If he is actually starting the motion of purchasing the ring, then I think we can safely say he is serious about you and your wishes, even though it may not be as quick as you wish...

Date: 3/6/2008 3:25:41 PM
Author:Keepingthefaith21
It all depends on how custom your ring is and how your vendor works. Some places, like Whiteflash, tend to surpass expectation in terms of time but other vendors, especially local stores, seem to be a bit on the slower side.

Sorry for thread-jacking, but Keepingthefaith, is this true? Local vendors are slower? I''m actually relieved to hear this then...Listening to all these WF timelines, I thought that we had made a horrible mistake in choosing the jeweler. WF is actually not the norm, then I don''t feel so bad...

BTW, your kitty is adorable!!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

It depends on the size of the diamond when it comes to picking a diamond. The larger the diamond the harder it is to find the one you want sometimes. We picked out the diamond and setting on December 23, the order was placed on December 27, he got the ring on February 11. The setting had to be made so that took some extra time. Hope that helps!

 

[choro72]

Date: 3/6/2008 3:55:03 PM
Author: Codependent Gal
I don''t think that I can wait even one more day. I was ready to end the relationship and then he promised that he was getting a ring, etc. and that he would do it within two months. If he goes past the deadline, it really isn''t my fault and it just shows that he does not take my feelings seriously. He should have done this months ago and I am not going to feel sorry for him just because he waited until the last absolute minute to do it. Another reason for my strict deadline is that we have a wedding to go to at the end of May and I told him that I am not going to that wedding unless I am engaged. I know it may sound stupid and childish, but we have been together a lot longer than this couple and I can''t believe that they are going to be married before we are even engaged. I know that I should be more mature but I know that I will be totally miserable at that wedding if we aren''t engaged.


I want a really simple ring, I went to the store and tried on rings that I thought that I would like (halo, pave and all that) and they looked really stupid because my hands are so small. The only kind that looked good on me were plain solitaires, but I do want a micropave wedding band. I think that he should be able to get one in time. Also, we are going on a trip at the end of March and I Really hope that he does it then, but I don''t think that he is going to be able to get one in time.

Are you big on surprises? If not, you might consider ring shopping together. You can go to the store, show him what you like, stones, etc. Then it might be easier for him to buy it and decide when and how to propose...
I guess you are looking for an initiative from him, and I completely understand that. I cried to my bf once, because all he did was "say" how he is going to look at all these rings. Afterwards, I showed him some stuff that I found, and he was genuinely excited to look at them. Then I realized that the interest that he showed was enough for me. I can''t compare him with other men here that took action. He isn''t like that. It still didn''t mean that he thought any less of me...

It seems like you two are together for a lOOONG time though. You''re probably right. He is not being considerate about your wishes if he kept dragging it on for ages...
I don''t know what I''m saying here now. I just want to give you hugs. Whatever you do, we will be here to give you hugs. No judgment, I promise!

Meanwhile...*dust, dust, and more dust!*

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Choro - it's just what I've noticed in my experiences. One local jeweler in particular does absolutely fantastic work but it often seems like it takes AGES. I've never gotten an engagement ring from them but have had several pieces designed as gifts for friends and family and I now know to go in August/September to make darn sure I get my jewelry in plenty of time for the holiday. Several of my friends also used the same jeweler for their engagement rings and they did take quite a bit of time to be completed. However, some of the rings were incredible works of art which were very complex designs so perhaps my perception is a bit off considering the complexity to the pieces.

I am sure you did not make a mistake...remember, all good (great, fantastic, wonderful, mesmerizing, heart stopping) things take time

ETA: I will pass your compliment onto my kitty

 

[Markie]

Has he been on this forum and seen what is involved in picking out an engagement ring the way PSers do? I have not read many previous posts or anything, I am new so forgive me if I am totally off base, but is it possible he is going to go out to a B&M and buy something in the store and thinks he can just run to a jewelry store and do it? Where did you go look at rings together?

Unless he wants to go custom I would think he could definitely find a ring you/he both like in this time frame if he is really serious about getting it done and he already knows what he is looking for. I do not think it is too much for you to expect him to make your deadline.

I will be sending good vibes your way- hope the proposal happens soon.

 

[Codependent Gal]

I hope that it happens soon, otherwise you ladies might be seeing me on the next episode of Snapped! (God, I love that show)

 

[gwendolyn]

This might be a daft question, but would you be ok with him proposing and then going shopping together? That way you''re engaged within two months, but don''t get some hurried ring that you maybe love or maybe don''t. I dunno, maybe the ring itself isn''t that important to you so maybe you would be ok with him buying (basically) the first things he comes across, but I think I''d rather take more time to get what I really want. But that''s me, not you.

 

[LegacyGirl]

It''s been 3 months and the ring still isn''t done yet... took some time to find the diamond too. Ring should be 100% ok by Saturday (hopefully).

 

[diamondfan]

Does he have a budget? Have you chosen an actual setting that you like? You have narrowed it to a solitaire, but still there are so many options in them. What shape stone do you want? Do you know how low you are willing to go in color and clarity, in order to get a size you want? Meaning, do you have an absolute size req. or do you want the best cut/best color/highest clarity you can get for your budget? There are still a lot of variables. Sometimes you cannot find the size you want with all the factors in place. The search for the stone can take time depending on inventory.

Also, I get that it might irk you about going to a wedding of friends who have been together less time than you and you are not engaged, BUT that is not a reason in my book. Each couple and relationship is unique, there are not strict timelines unless imposed by one of the people in the couple. So, do not judge that as a standard. I think there are couples on here who are not engaged and they have been together for years and years. I am sure you would not want to rush him or push such an important issue. But to me, if you have had the convo, and you know he is sincerely looking and putting forth a real effort into stone hunting, that would make me feel better. If I felt he was doing nothing and just stalling, I would be upset after having the talk.

 

[choro72]

Date: 3/6/2008 6:10:15 PM
Author: gwendolyn
This might be a daft question, but would you be ok with him proposing and then going shopping together? That way you''re engaged within two months, but don''t get some hurried ring that you maybe love or maybe don''t. I dunno, maybe the ring itself isn''t that important to you so maybe you would be ok with him buying (basically) the first things he comes across, but I think I''d rather take more time to get what I really want. But that''s me, not you.

Codependent, I''m actually going to second this suggestion! You really don''t need a ring to be engaged, and I think you will be able to enjoy ring shopping. It should be a really neat experience...
Of course, there is the little snag of telling him that you wouldn''t mind this...Now how to do that...I''ll think a little.

Legacygirl, do you mean that you ordered your ring 3 months ago and it''s not done yet? If so, then ok, I''m really not going to fire my jeweler...Like Keepingthefaith said, you can''t rush a masterpiece.

Anyway, Codependent, I we all just want you to be happy

 

[LaraOnline]

you know, my man proposed, then I started looking for a ring. We (he

had a really tight budget so it took me no less than four months to find the setting I wanted and have it made!!! And, believe me, I was REALLY shopping hard!!!

perhaps you could do the ''he buys the stone, I get the settng'' thing, I reckon that would work well cause he gets to impose a budget and be involved, but doesn''t have to worry about style etc.
It''s really waaaaay to much for some guys, including my guy, he would have bought the first one in the first store!
Also, it''s hard for ME to even know what I like.
And tastes can change dramatically too. I turned down a proposal once because the ring wasn''t to my taste

So, once you get your ring by hook or crook, be nice to him for five years, so you can upgrade

which is my project.
all the best,
heart
Lis

 

[star sparkle]

It took us about a month to find the stone and figure out what we wanted the setting to look like. Figuring out the setting was the hardest thing for us/me.

After we put in the order for the setting to be custom made with WF, it took about 3 weeks.

So, the total time it took for us was right around 2 months.

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 3/6/2008 8:12:41 PM
Author: choro72

Date: 3/6/2008 6:10:15 PM
Author: gwendolyn
This might be a daft question, but would you be ok with him proposing and then going shopping together? That way you''re engaged within two months, but don''t get some hurried ring that you maybe love or maybe don''t. I dunno, maybe the ring itself isn''t that important to you so maybe you would be ok with him buying (basically) the first things he comes across, but I think I''d rather take more time to get what I really want. But that''s me, not you.

Codependent, I''m actually going to second this suggestion! You really don''t need a ring to be engaged, and I think you will be able to enjoy ring shopping. It should be a really neat experience...
Of course, there is the little snag of telling him that you wouldn''t mind this...Now how to do that...I''ll think a little.

Legacygirl, do you mean that you ordered your ring 3 months ago and it''s not done yet? If so, then ok, I''m really not going to fire my jeweler...Like Keepingthefaith said, you can''t rush a masterpiece.

Anyway, Codependent, I we all just want you to be happy

Yup. You said it right there. Mine is a halo and she''s setting over 1/2ct of micropave into it so it was taking forever! Then when she gave it back to me it wasn''t plated well enough and needed to be repolished. I was told tomorrow it will be done. Hopefully its perfect because I won''t take it unless it is.

 

[PostIt]

BF and I have been looking at rings for a while now (a little under a year), but he will not purchase it until April or May bc of financial reasons, but hopefully it will not take that long bc of all the research we have done. We have looked at practically every ring that exists and we are going to the city on monday for a final run-through of try-ons.

I used to have a deadline, which hasn''t passed yet, but I no longer have one because we already talk like we are engaged, only without the anxiety I have heard so much about!

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 3/7/2008 10:50:58 AM
Author: LegacyGirl

Date: 3/6/2008 8:12:41 PM
Author: choro72

Date: 3/6/2008 6:10:15 PM
Author: gwendolyn
This might be a daft question, but would you be ok with him proposing and then going shopping together? That way you''re engaged within two months, but don''t get some hurried ring that you maybe love or maybe don''t. I dunno, maybe the ring itself isn''t that important to you so maybe you would be ok with him buying (basically) the first things he comes across, but I think I''d rather take more time to get what I really want. But that''s me, not you.

Codependent, I''m actually going to second this suggestion! You really don''t need a ring to be engaged, and I think you will be able to enjoy ring shopping. It should be a really neat experience...
Of course, there is the little snag of telling him that you wouldn''t mind this...Now how to do that...I''ll think a little.

Legacygirl, do you mean that you ordered your ring 3 months ago and it''s not done yet? If so, then ok, I''m really not going to fire my jeweler...Like Keepingthefaith said, you can''t rush a masterpiece.

Anyway, Codependent, I we all just want you to be happy

Yup. You said it right there. Mine is a halo and she''s setting over 1/2ct of micropave into it so it was taking forever! Then when she gave it back to me it wasn''t plated well enough and needed to be repolished. I was told tomorrow it will be done. Hopefully its perfect because I won''t take it unless it is.

Ok its still not done! Hopefully Sunday or Monday.

 

[choro72]

Date: 3/8/2008 9:04:44 PM
Author: LegacyGirl

Ok its still not done! Hopefully Sunday or Monday.

Aww, I''m sorry...I was thinking about your ring today. I''ll keep my fingers crossed!
We finally got to see our CAD today, and we made some changes. Hopefully next week we''ll see the updated version.

 

[Deelight]

Depends really

We have been looking for a year, where I changed my mind about what shape I wanted and finally decided then I had to decide what size and that took sometime as well,I have left the setting to him otherwise I would still be ummming and arrrhhhing I only have a couple of must haves. If you don''t have those issues like me sure it would be faster

Since making that decision we worked with one vendor and were not happy for various reasons and in the end went to another who so far has been fantastic the stone will arrive in 2 weeks making it about 2 months to source the stone we wanted. Granted the colour/clarity/carat combo I wanted is hard to find. He is yet to contact someone about making a setting but on Leon''s site it says approx 3 weeks so all that in hand I would say for my ring it will take about 3mths maybe a little more.


All good things take time

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 3/7/2008 2:42:56 PM
Author: PostIt
I used to have a deadline, which hasn''t passed yet, but I no longer have one because we already talk like we are engaged, only without the anxiety I have heard so much about!

Sounds good! J and I sorta have that, but with anxiety over all the immigration paperwork, not the wedding planning itself.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 3/6/2008 2:57:35 PM
Author:Codependent Gal
How long does it take to pick out a diamond, pick out a setting, pay for the ring and have it made. How long does the process take from start to finish? My boyfriend has promised that a proposal is coming within two months. My internal deadline is exactly 59 days from today. He just started looking, like last weekend. I am wondering if he even has enough time to get a ring made in that time. How long did your rings take to complete?

About one day to pick out your diamond and setting and pay for it. to have it made? depends on whether you''ve gone custom or are just popping your center stone into a premade setting you''ve chosen from the jeweler''s case. You could SO be done with the whole process of ring making in less than a week, fitting it to your finger and all.

59 days? Soooo not a problem. Stop worrying. Your ring is probably in the works right now and will be on your finger very, very soon! Best of luck to you, Codependent Gal! time to settle down and enjoy the anticipation of pre-engagement jitters. Heee hee!

 

[Pandora II]

I took 5 months!

I did all of it and FI paid the bill!

We went the engagement first, ring second route - and I got another ring as an "in the meantime ring", so it was win-win-win!

I think coloured stones take longer than diamonds as there are so many more variables and you pretty much always need to go custom.

That said, Wink managed to pull off a custom ring for a friend of mine in 2 weeks! Yes, really TWO WEEKS start to finish for a platinum split-shank ring with pave halo to fit an amazing 1.22ct tsavorite (we had found the stone before xmas, so that was ready to go).

I saw it last week and the pave work and the milgrain were PERFECT.

I think he will murder me if I give him a deadline like that again!

If I''m helping a friend out, I normally tell them to factor 2-3 months if we go custom, and 6 weeks for non-custom - depending on how fast we find the stone. Finding a 1.05ct rb for my brother took me nearly 10 days, before I was happy that I had found the best stone available for his budget.

Personally, I was happy to wait as long as it took for the perfect ring - I''m not the upgrade type (just the accumulate!

). Why rush the excitment and fun of getting the most amazing ring you can just to be engaged 3 weeks earlier?

You are engaged when you commit your future life to being with the other person, not when you have a chunk of carbon on your finger, so why not get engaged first and shop later. A lot of my friends were very envious that I had the chance to design my own ring.

On another note, I do hope that you are just venting in some of your comments above. It does seem like your SO is onboard with everything and that is the important thing. Do you really want to throw away the guy you are saying you want to marry for the sake of a few days? Now, if he''s not on the right page and is stalling - then you are right to walk away. Just be careful you don''t cut off your nose to spite your face.

How soon other people get married is not something to compare yourself to. Every relationship is different and what is right for one person may not be right for another. I know people who have got engaged after 3 days, married in 3 months and have a blissfully happy and stable marriage, and I also know people who got engaged after 10 years and are equally happy that way.