krispi
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2007
- Messages
- 323
First, let me clarify that I''m not interested in a discussion of the merits of anyone''s beliefs. But for those of you who are religious, I''m curious to know how or if those beliefs affect your decisions about who, or when, you date or marry.
A little background about myself: I''ve been dating BF for a little over 1.5 years. He''s 31, and I''m 29 currently. I went into this relationship hoping for someone that was long-term and who I could settle down with, so that''s always been in the back of my mind. My BF isn''t quite to that stage of his life yet - he''s still working on paying down his grad school debt and other financial goals. We had a very rocky patch around the 6 month mark but have been doing increasingly better ever since. We''ve been very open and honest with each other on where we each stand in this relationship: I want to be married eventually, it''s a non-negotiable for me, I want it to be him but if it''s not then I''ll have to move on; He''s not at a point where he''s ready to be married, he''s open to us marrying as a possibility but not certain yet, and he hopes he can come around before I''m tired of waiting (I haven''t set even an internal deadline yet - I''m still not sure how long I''m willing to wait, I just know it won''t be forever).
So, even though we laid all our cards on the table, sometimes I still get really frustrated and impatient with the situation. I''m the type of person who knows what I want and wants it now. I realize we haven''t been dating all THAT long and know that he has other things in his life right now that he needs to get taken care of. Still, there are times when I tend to wonder if I''m waiting all this time for nothing. It would be different if I knew that we would definitely end up together in the end, I''d gladly wait for him - it''s the uncertainty that gets to me. There''ve been a few times where the waiting and the uncertainty (and some of the other issues we''ve had in the past) have really gotten me down and I''ve considered calling it quits.
Every time I''ve felt that way, I''ve prayed long and hard about our relationship and have truly felt that I''m being led to stay. I feel like this is where I belong, at least for now. When I''ve prayed similar prayers in past relationships, I''ve gotten very clear answers that they weren''t right for me. This relationship has been very different - each time I get reassurance that I need to have patience. In some cases, it''s been those answers to my prayers that were keeping me going. I was wondering if anyone here had experienced anything similar. It can be kind of hard to explain to someone who doesn''t understand. I''m already getting pressure from friends and family (both mine AND his) about why we aren''t getting married yet. It''s hard to explain to some people why I feel I need to hang in there longer - I feel this is where I need to be, at least for the time being, and hopefully forever. Just wondering if anyone else could relate.
A little background about myself: I''ve been dating BF for a little over 1.5 years. He''s 31, and I''m 29 currently. I went into this relationship hoping for someone that was long-term and who I could settle down with, so that''s always been in the back of my mind. My BF isn''t quite to that stage of his life yet - he''s still working on paying down his grad school debt and other financial goals. We had a very rocky patch around the 6 month mark but have been doing increasingly better ever since. We''ve been very open and honest with each other on where we each stand in this relationship: I want to be married eventually, it''s a non-negotiable for me, I want it to be him but if it''s not then I''ll have to move on; He''s not at a point where he''s ready to be married, he''s open to us marrying as a possibility but not certain yet, and he hopes he can come around before I''m tired of waiting (I haven''t set even an internal deadline yet - I''m still not sure how long I''m willing to wait, I just know it won''t be forever).
So, even though we laid all our cards on the table, sometimes I still get really frustrated and impatient with the situation. I''m the type of person who knows what I want and wants it now. I realize we haven''t been dating all THAT long and know that he has other things in his life right now that he needs to get taken care of. Still, there are times when I tend to wonder if I''m waiting all this time for nothing. It would be different if I knew that we would definitely end up together in the end, I''d gladly wait for him - it''s the uncertainty that gets to me. There''ve been a few times where the waiting and the uncertainty (and some of the other issues we''ve had in the past) have really gotten me down and I''ve considered calling it quits.
Every time I''ve felt that way, I''ve prayed long and hard about our relationship and have truly felt that I''m being led to stay. I feel like this is where I belong, at least for now. When I''ve prayed similar prayers in past relationships, I''ve gotten very clear answers that they weren''t right for me. This relationship has been very different - each time I get reassurance that I need to have patience. In some cases, it''s been those answers to my prayers that were keeping me going. I was wondering if anyone here had experienced anything similar. It can be kind of hard to explain to someone who doesn''t understand. I''m already getting pressure from friends and family (both mine AND his) about why we aren''t getting married yet. It''s hard to explain to some people why I feel I need to hang in there longer - I feel this is where I need to be, at least for the time being, and hopefully forever. Just wondering if anyone else could relate.
300x240.png)