How much should be spent on a wedding including honeymoon?

[EXCITEDandANXIOUS]

Hi, OK I''m going through a bit of worrying stage...(my mind is thinking at a thousand miles a second). How much should one spend in a wedding including honeymoon?

I don''t even know where to start in this whole process. I mean we both have our rings, but thats about it. I don''t even know what should be the second step. I really don''t want to hire a wedding planner because they are too expensive. I am only 21 and he is 24. We want to have a cute wedding where we will be married at church and then we can go to a reception and have our little party with our family and friends, but without spending too much. By me saying too much ( I mean $10,000) We have money saved up, but its going towards a house we are going to purchase.

So, if someone can tell me of a web link where I can go to so I can plan my wedding without having to hire anyone....I would appreciate it.

 

[monarch64]

Hi Excited&Anxious and welcome to PS! First of all (not to scare you or anything), we all would love to see your engagement ring and his ring, lol!

As far as what you "should" spend on your wedding and reception, that is totally up to you and your families, if they will be involved in helping you pay for things. There are so many factors that go into determining a couple''s budget for their wedding and I couldn''t even begin to go into them without making this super long. It sounds as if you want somewhat of a low-key celebration, though. Without even knowing where you are in the world (one of those factors that can determine what you will pay for a wedding) I will say you could probably get away with spending between $3k-$10K.

As far as websites to help you plan your wedding...I know of theknot and PS and that''s about it. I got married almost 3 years ago and did all my planning via magazines and a self-made binder, lol! I bet if you do a search for "wedding planning" you will find some good sites that will help, though. And I''m sure someone else here will speak up and recommend some specific ones.

Congrats on your engagement, and again, welcome to PS. There is a great community here and tons of knowledge willingly and pleasantly shared. You will love it and I am sure it will be very beneficial to your wedding planning!

 

[ocbride2007]

I''ve heard budgets ranging from a couple of thousand to a hundred thousand... If you hunt for bargains and keep an eye on your budget I''m sure you can do wonders with that!! I''m just starting myself, so I can''t offer too many tips, but I would go down to your local barnes and noble and check out the wedding planning section. I remember thumbing through a book that was all about bargain tips. I think it was probably $10 or $15, but if it saves you even $20 it may be worth it.

Or you could do what I see everyone else doing at the bookstore... buy a latte from the cafe, sit down with a few books, bring a notebook and take notes!! There''s planning notebooks, or there''s books tailored to do it yourself tips, etc. It''ll make you feel a little less anxious once you have a list of everything you need to do. Good luck and have fun planning!!

 

[E B]

Hi E&A!

What are you picturing, in more detail? What is absolutely important to you? If you have a church wedding, you probably don't need to decorate...many churches are ornate enough. Try to find one that doesn't ask for much $$$. If you can, find a reception site nearby. You can buy a beautiful wedding dress for around $300, and a wedding cake from a grocery store (which can be decorated so your guests wouldn't know the difference!) can be as little as $1 a slice. Do your own flowers as well...they'll be much cheaper from a grocery store (or a flower mart) than from a florist, and they'll be just as beautiful. Have your mom/friend do your hair and makeup. Have a friend take the pictures!

There are TONS of ways to have a gorgeous wedding on a small budget. I also think it's great that you're putting your savings towards a house. We would too, if we didn't live in Los Angeles.

 

[eks6426]

In which state do you live? I think a lot of the budget depends on where you are. The big cities and coastal areas seem to be a lot more expensive. I got married in central Illinois last year and spent less than $10K with no problem. In fact the wedding & reception were less than $3K. It''s all a matter of priorities and how you decide to spend your money. My dress was about $300. Shoes about $50. I found a place that included centerpieces with the cost of catering (also very reasonable) and my bouquet/bouts were around $200 total. Having fewer attendants will help keep costs down on flowers & gifts.

I think the trick is to figure out what is important to you and don''t let other people push you into doing things that don''t really matter to you. For example, I did not have any favors for people. I chose not to spend the money because most of the ones I have gotten have been thrown away. Instead, we sent everyone a CD of our pictures in our thank you cards. Cheap, easy...and they could print off any wedding pictures of ours they wanted at home.

Just be careful & keep track as you go.

Good luck!

 

[amyg]

I am in the process of planning my wedding right now, and when all is said and done, weddign and honeymoon will be around $3000. It just really depends what''s important to you. There will be less than 100 guests at a candlelight ceremony @ 8:30 pm in his parents rose garden, followed by a desert reception, and neither of us drink so there won''t be any alcohol, and I also called in a lot of favors from friends, one friend is singing to solos during the ceremony, another friend is going to DJ for me, FI already has a PA system, so we didn''t have to rent that, another friend is letting me borrow her Arch way that she had made for her wedding, my attendents are carrying candles instead of flowers (a lot cheaper and exactly what I wanted). My rentals were my biggest expense, 100 chairs, 3 carpet runners, 7 big tables, and a tent for the food area. Try to look around you at what resources you already have and turn that into the wedding you''ve always wanted...oh, and we are honeymooning in Charleston, SC for 5 days instead of 7, adn since we already live in SC, we are just driving the 3 hours instead of flying anywhere. It''s right for us, and that I think is waht you have to figure out first...

 

[Blenheim]

Welcome!

The other girls have already given you a bunch of good advice, but I just have one more thing to add. I picked up a budget wedding book at Barnes and Nobles, only to learn yesterday that a lot of similar books are offered used on www.amazon.com for under three dollars. Shipping''s going to add something, of course, but you could even save a little money on books if you do it this way. Just do a search for "budget wedding" or something along those lines.

 

[DonaBella]

Congrats!!!

I would like to know what state you live in too. I have a flower shop and we have done budget friendly wedding flowers for as low as $300. Some couples where the FI is going to be going off to Iraq or elsewhere have not only a limited budget, but time frame as well. We have--as I am sure any other sensitive and competent florist would be--resources to make dreams for a wonderful wedding to come true...without sacrificing quality.

Interview, search and talk to alot of florists. Tell them your situation, moneywise, and allow them to make suggestions. The same can be said for getting your cake. There is a little place not far from my home here in Riverside, CA, that I found makes freshly made cakes for a few dollars more than supermarket, but they taste better. Just a few thoughts to help you...

 

[selflove]

I read a really good book called "Fire Your Wedding Planner" which had so many great tips for cutting costs.

We tried to do a $10K wedding (not including cost of honeymoon) and we went over by at least 30%. And we only had 65 guests! I thought I was keeping it simple but in the end it just spiraled out of control. So it might be wise to be ultra-disciplined and plan your budget before you book anything. (for example, in our case, with $10K, I thought our chapel at $1,900 was totally in the budget so I booked it. Then I went on theknot.com and weddingchannel.com and used their budgeting calculators and I should have only spent like $250 or something totally small like that. So then I tried to cut costs with our flowers and my dress.) But we live in Southern California where weddings are expensive...

Where do you live?

I did my own flowers but I wish I had taken DeanaBana''s advice and shopped around for a budget florist. I guess I didn''t think they existed in LA!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

I've got two words for you: CRAIGSLIST, and EBAY!

Those sites have been invaluable. I found my day-of coordinator, makeup artist and town car (for our end of eve getaway) on craigslist, and am trolling Ebay for my headpiece, shoes, favors, etc...

I just LOVE finding good deals!

I also second selflove's comment regarding the "fire your wedding planner" gal. I didn't read the book, but signed up for the email newsletter. A lot of the info was common sense stuff, but I liked that she was telling brides to take control of their wedding (in a good way!), and not let sleazy vendors charge you premium prices.

 

[LizzieC]

Date: 5/19/2006 6:41:30 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl
I''ve got words for you: CRAIGSLIST, and EBAY!

Ditto ditto ditto!

 

[EXCITEDandANXIOUS]

Hi, and I want to thank everyone for responding. Well to answer everyone''s question.... I live in Miami, Florida. I know what everyone might be thinking (the beach) But I really don''t want a beach wedding. I used to live in Jersey, but moved to Miami like 8 years ago. So I practically have been here for a while and the beach really doesn''t do it for me.

So I just might have the wedding at the church, and a reception at a beautiful banquet hall near my house. Should I get a package that includes the bar, and the food, or should I really do that apart?? I figured out how much my budget will be; $4,000 - $5,000 (of course thats not including the honeymoon) I have browsed on www.discountmugs.com for cute paryfavors. If anyone knows of any inexpensive site for party favors I would appreciate it.

I also have to get my invitations made. Should I get them online, or should I go to a store in my area that specializes in custom made invitations?

 

[E B]

E&A,

Party favors are one of those things that aren''t really necessary, especially for a budget wedding. I''ve never been to a wedding with favors, and we''re not giving favors at our wedding either. If you absolutely want favors, I''d suggest baking cookies (or buying inexpensive treats) and putting them in bags tied with pretty ribbon for guests to take home. It''s fun, cheap, and it''ll be something guests will actually use (eat!). Some little trinket with YOUR wedding date they''ll probably throw away.

 

[lillei]

Check out www.favorwarehouse.com.

 

[San Diego Bride]

my fiance and i are not having party favors. instead we''re making a donation to make a wish, an organization that''s near and dear to our hearts. at each place setting we''ll put a card with the make a wish logo letting our guests know what we''ve done and why. it will be less expensive than traditional favors and suits us better. we had a hard time coming up with a meaningful way to symbolize the day. is their an organization that is important to you and your fiance? is their a deceased friend or family member that you''d like to recognize? maybe you could make a donation to an organization that would have been important to them. it''s not for everyone, but the idea works for us.

if you do want to hand out something i really like ebree''s idea of cookies or a home made treat. it might be a good bonding experience to make them with your family or bridal party. i''m sure guests would also enjoy the snack later that evening.

 

[Mannequin]

My FI is supposed to be standing up in a wedding next summer for a high school pal. The groom is from an average sized family and the bride has a "big fat Greek family." This couple chose 07-07-07, which I am sure is leading to a little price markup on their vendors and supplies since it is a trendy and popular date. Altogether, for their church wedding with reception for 350-ish people (YOWZA) and a honeymoon involving about two and a half weeks split between Italy and a Greek Isles cruise, they are shelling out close to $40,000.

When I heard about this I told my fiance'' "no f-ing way!" but after talking to the groom myself, it''s an accurate estimate. I am glad that the groom has already purchased a house in this case, otherwise there''d be a van down by the river with this couple''s names on it...

I think my own wedding next year is going to run approximately 15-20K. I would have been perfectly happy to get married by Elvis in Vegas and have a big a$$ barbecue when we got back, but FI wants a more traditional wedding and I am willing to compromise. Our families are going to be very supportive and will help with everything up to the big day and for our life afterwards. My parents have generously made a monetary gift towards the event already, and I think my FMIL and FStepFIL are willing to match that. I am incredibly grateful for these gestures, as FI and I are already going to contribute as much as we can, but would not likely be able to adequately host our families on a beginning lawyer''s and beginning teacher''s combined income. We are looking at probably 250 guests, with a church wedding followed by a reception in the evening. I am BIG on finding the best possible deals for anything, and I am tackling my bride-to-be planning with the same thriftiness in mind. I don''t want to blow a huge amount of cash on one lavish party, because to me that''s not what means the most. I place more emphasis on the symbolism of the event, and every day of the marriage after the "I Do"s are said, than my FI. That being said, he and I are looking around together to see what we like and what is only so-so and trying to plan this as a team.

 

[Mannequin]

I forgot to mention the honeymoon - I have told FI that this is going to be his job. We will be able to take some of the wedding fund and put it towards this trip, but I have asked him to plan it all himself and then to surprise me.

He was a National Geography Bee champion and he knows so much about places all over the world, so I told him to pick somewhere he''d want to take an adventure with his new bride and arrange everything. Then he''ll tell me what to pack - bathing suit or parka? - and I won''t know anything until we get to the airport. He is thrilled with this idea, and we have already talked about a few places that may not be suitable for a summer honeymoon due to heat, but the rest is up to him now.

 

[chickflick]

We''re spending $3K total on the wedding (about fifty guests) and $2K on the honeymoon(7 night Caribbean cruise). We''re getting married on a cruise ship so it''s a package wedding, and then for favors and small items like my hair ornaments I''ve used eBay mostly. My dress was $300 at David''s Bridal and I think it''s a lovely dress.

You just have to decide what''s important to you and then spend your money on the important things. For us, we decided against things like extra flowers for the ceremony and we also went with hors d''ouevres vs. a spendy sit-down dinner just because we actually prefer that kind of food. We''ll have an open bar and nice food with ice sculpture, etc. with a DJ, cake, champagne toast, etc. all included. We''re in our thirties and a little more into saving money than spending it.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[glaucomflecken]

Ebay is the GREATEST wedding site ever...my family joked I should have put "wedding made possible in part by Ebay" in our programs because I bought so much stuff from there!