How much space do I have for stones on my ring?

[antoniaalex]

Hoping those more expert in jewelry design can help me, I hope this forum is ok to post in.

I'm working virtually with a designer on a ring, and though I love her style, communication has been difficult and I'm having a tough time getting clear answers. We have had a lot of back and forth so I don't want to take the business away from her, but need some help to figure out my next steps.

She suggested side stones for my center stone that seem too long for my finger. I have tried to ask how they will look at that length, she just keeps saying she will do the CAD and then we will see. However, if the design doesn't work out, then it's another $400 for another CAD, so I'd like some answers before I proceed.

The center stone is a sapphire, width 5.6mm. The side stones she has suggested (which I love and want to work out) are 7.3mm diamond kites. My ring size is 5.75. The total stone width on the ring will be 20.2mm, and then I guess some space needed for prongs? So a total stone width of over 20mm.

Is this too wide for my 5.75 size finger? To me it seems to wide, but I am looking at it on my hand. I keep asking and suggesting we try to find shorter kites, but the designer says there isn't really much available and the other options she has shown aren't as beautiful as the ones he is suggesting.

So how much space is available for stones on a 5.75 size ring for all the stones to be visible face up? Thank you so much for your help!

 

[Rfisher]

Won’t be perfect
but I hope this will help



will the kites be set at an angle or will their table facet be parallel to your centerstone?

if the are set at an angle - the face up view is shortened.

 

[Avondale]

Well here's a picture of my 55 or 56 (don't quite remember) size wedding band. So about 7,5 in US sizes. It's somewhere in there, in the 2cm diameter range.


Now keep in mind side stones don't just lay flat next to the centre stone. They're at an angle, following the curvature of the ring. So it's not a simple math of 5,6 + 7,3x2. Even with that said, I think your points are valid and I'd be troubled, too, were I in your shoes.

But even with that aside, what I find to be more concerning is the lack of good communication. If you don't feel comfortable with the person you're working with, if you don't feel like she listens to you, your wants and your concerns, that has the potential to open a nasty can of worms. You're the client and you're paying. No small amount at that. You should be fully satisfied with your experience and judging by your post that doesn't seem to be the case.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and demand your own. And if things just aren't working with this particular jeweler, then it is what it is. Not everyone has to play nice with everyone and sometimes communication and work styles just aren't a good match, no matter how much we want things to work.

 

[Rfisher]

If the designer isn’t answering your pointed and specific question of what your ring size can handle and these three particular stones

you can show trust in the designer to do something you love - because you love their sense of style, and be ok with whatever may be produced. Because there rarely is full recourse in custom work if you don’t like the look real-time results. Even if you had expressed some concerns.
or
you can ask the designer to hold off on proceeding until you are ok with the stones spread on your ring size. Unfortunately that may consist of hefty CAD charges, if that’s what’s needed with this designer.

sometimes we don’t mesh with designers
sometimes the timing isn’t right
sometimes the right now available sidestones isnt right

its ok to put a hold on a project and not force it.

 

[antoniaalex]

Well here's a picture of my 55 or 56 (don't quite remember) size wedding band. So about 7,5 in US sizes. It's somewhere in there, in the 2cm diameter range.


Now keep in mind side stones don't just lay flat next to the centre stone. They're at an angle, following the curvature of the ring. So it's not a simple math of 5,6 + 7,3x2. Even with that said, I think your points are valid and I'd be troubled, too, were I in your shoes.

But even with that aside, what I find to be more concerning is the lack of good communication. If you don't feel comfortable with the person you're working with, if you don't feel like she listens to you, your wants and your concerns, that has the potential to open a nasty can of worms. You're the client and you're paying. No small amount at that. You should be fully satisfied with your experience and judging by your post that doesn't seem to be the case.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and demand your own. And if things just aren't working with this particular jeweler, then it is what it is. Not everyone has to play nice with everyone and sometimes communication and work styles just aren't a good match, no matter how much we want things to work.

Thanks for this advice and encouragement. I kept wondering if it was me being unclear, but my partner has been on all emails and phone calls and he too is confused. And the process has not gone as I expected (a lot more casual than I thought). Granted, I know I was indecisive about the center stone, but once we found that (it took a month and I looked at 4 different stones in person, and the one I chose was one I would never have thought to look at myself if she didn't suggest it), I selected a setting design immediately, but thought it was too long/wide. She kept sending new designs instead but not answering the question as to how much space I truly had.

She has been patient and kind and enthusiastic, and has already done so much work that I do not want to take the full sale away from her. I know she received a markup for the center stone, so she's not totally losing out, but I am sure she expected more.

I appreciate your advice and will try to decide whether we have to move on, or find a way to communicate better with her. Thank you so much!

 

[Tartansparkles]

I can appreciate the difficulties in trying to buy/design online. My ring finger is smaller than yours, 4.75, but these stones go 20mm across the top. It might give you some idea of the space you have to work with. Face up the stones go across the top of my finger but not between.

 

[antoniaalex]

If the designer isn’t answering your pointed and specific question of what your ring size can handle and these three particular stones

you can show trust in the designer to do something you love - because you love their sense of style, and be ok with whatever may be produced. Because there rarely is full recourse in custom work if you don’t like the look real-time results. Even if you had expressed some concerns.
or
you can ask the designer to hold off on proceeding until you are ok with the stones spread on your ring size. Unfortunately that may consist of hefty CAD charges, if that’s what’s needed with this designer.

sometimes we don’t mesh with designers
sometimes the timing isn’t right
sometimes the right now available sidestones isnt right

its ok to put a hold on a project and not force it.

Thank you for such thoughtful and kind advice! The idea of taking a pause is a great one. The designer has done so much work already, sourcing stones and offering many designs, that I do not want to take the sale away from her. But trying to communicate more clearly to get my specific answer, and/or taking a pause and regrouping, are both things that will be helpful. It's tough to figure out why the disconnect and failure to answer a specific question, but maybe a phone call will help. I am going to wait on the CAD until she can tell me specifically how much spread we have for the way I want the ring to look, and then proceed after that. Thank you for your kind thoughts!

 

[antoniaalex]

I can appreciate the difficulties in trying to buy/design online. My ring finger is smaller than yours, 4.75, but these stones go 20mm across the top. It might give you some idea of the space you have to work with. Face up the stones go across the top of my finger but not between.

Oh my gosh yes, this is so helpful!! The designer keeps saying: "you have up to 22mm" but she won't clarify if that means until the adjacent fingers or if the stones would wrap around. Seeing what 20mm looks like on a finger that is smaller is so helpful. Very lovely ring, congrats on it! It looks beautiful on you.

 

[Ionysis]

The way you do this is to stick the stones to a piece of clear tape and wrap it around your finger. It won’t be perfect but will give you an idea. If your designer has similar sized fingers she could even do that herself and send you a photo if you aren’t nearby.

 

[Autumn in New England]

Hello there and welcome to the forum! I wholeheartedly agree with everyone else, that if this jeweler isn't adequately addressing your concerns, you either need to politely mention it or move on. Because I've seen too many of these projects go sideways when a buyer doesn't speak up.

That aside, I don't think you'll have any problem with those sized stones on your finger. I'm a 5.5, and I comfortably wear 3-stone rings with much larger gems. As @Avondale said, the stones don't lie flat against your finger... the gallery of the ring will be raised to accommodate the depth of the stones. This gives you a lot more surface area than you think. I wouldn't worry in the slightest, truly. Just let her know you'd like the stones to hug one another. Good luck!

 

[antoniaalex]

The way you do this is to stick the stones to a piece of clear tape and wrap it around your finger. It won’t be perfect but will give you an idea. If your designer has similar sized fingers she could even do that herself and send you a photo if you aren’t nearby.

Thanks, that's a good idea. I had asked to see them against someone's hand, but hadn't received anything yet, just another push for the CAD first. I will ask specifically for this, I know it will help me feel more comfortable.

 

[antoniaalex]

Hello there and welcome to the forum! I wholeheartedly agree with everyone else, that if this jeweler isn't adequately addressing your concerns, you either need to politely mention it or move on. Because I've seen too many of these projects go sideways when a buyer doesn't speak up.

That aside, I don't think you'll have any problem with those sized stones on your finger. I'm a 5.5, and I comfortably wear 3-stone rings with much larger gems. As @Avondale said, the stones don't lie flat against your finger... the gallery of the ring will be raised to accommodate the depth of the stones. This gives you a lot more surface area than you think. I wouldn't worry in the slightest, truly. Just let her know you'd like the stones to hug one another. Good luck!

Thank you! I feel like I am speaking up and just not getting answers, only suggestions to move forward...I am going to be more direct and bullet out my questions and ask for a phone call! The designer has put so much time in already that I don't want to take the sale away from her, but I do need more clarification to proceed.

And that's good to know about the sizes of the stones, thanks!! Do you have any photos of your hand with larger rings? It's so tough online because websites don't list dimensions, only carats, and that doesn't help for non-diamonds and fancy shapes!

 

[Autumn in New England]

Thank you! I feel like I am speaking up and just not getting answers, only suggestions to move forward...I am going to be more direct and bullet out my questions and ask for a phone call! The designer has put so much time in already that I don't want to take the sale away from her, but I do need more clarification to proceed.

And that's good to know about the sizes of the stones, thanks!! Do you have any photos of your hand with larger rings? It's so tough online because websites don't list dimensions, only carats, and that doesn't help for non-diamonds and fancy shapes!

I will definitely take a look when I get home from work! It is really difficult to envision, I agree.