How to calm her down?

[Brando]

I''ve got a bit of a problem. My girlfriend wants us to be engaged and I''m working on getting the ring together

Pictures here, tell me what you think!:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-does-this-princess-look.33542/

My problem is that she keeps getting down about not being engaged yet. Now she knows that we will get engaged soon but I''m trying really hard to surprise her with when and how. You wouldn''t believe some of the hoops I had to go through to keep all this quiet. I drove 2 hours to LA to look at the diamonds there and got stuck in a fire on the freeway coming home. Trying to explain where I was for the whole day without tipping my hand at what I was actually doing was hard!!

Anyway, how can I calm her down and keep her from getting upset and frustrated without flat out telling her "I''m buying the diamond and getting the ring soon."? So far I''ve been making up excuses like not having quite enough money but that just made her more frustrated. Now I am just telling her "I''m doing the best I can." Arrrgh, she''s trying so hard to ruin any surprises!

 

[cinnabar]

Maybe she doesn''t like surprises? Some girls would much rather know for sure that an engagement is coming, than have the surprise proposal. Is the surprise for your benefit, or hers?

 

[Brando]

Good question, but she does know it''s coming, we''ve already booked the place for next year. She loves surprises but she''s so nosey and detail oriented that I have to really work to keep things from her.

 

[elephant]

HOw about dropping hints -- just to make her feel better. Even if you've already gotten the ring together say something like, "do you think X characteristic is better or y?" Just to let her know that you're doing this. She's probably freaking out internally because she's thinking: Ok. We've booked the hall what if he changes his mind and this never happens? Not only does she feel bad, but then she has to go through the embarassment of cancelling the hall and telling her family and friends.

Maybe also tell her things like: Oh, I really can't wait until we're actually married or I can't wait until we're engaged! Something that lets her know you all are on the same page....

That's what I would be freaking about? HTH?

ACtually, why don't you make up imaginary date -- like, well, we can't get engaged until [enter date] because [the ring won't be ready until then, or y ou won't have the final money until then -- some good reason]. And then propose BEFORE that date? That way her guard will be down....

 

[Brando]

HOw about dropping hints -- just to make her feel better. Even if you''ve already gotten the ring together say something like, "do you think X characteristic is better or y?" Just to let her know that you''re doing this. She''s probably freaking out internally because she''s thinking: Ok. We''ve booked the hall what if he changes his mind and this never happens? Not only does she feel bad, but then she has to go through the embarassment of cancelling the hall and telling her family and friends.

I''ve done all this, I really am excited about everything but it''s frustrating trying to plan a surprise for someone who goes out of their way to find out everything they can to ruin a surprise.
Maybe also tell her things like: Oh, I really can''t wait until we''re actually married or I can''t wait until we''re engaged! Something that lets her know you all are on the same page....

That''s what I would be freaking about? HTH?

Yeah same as above, done this already.
ACtually, why don''t you make up imaginary date -- like, well, we can''t get engaged until [enter date] because [the ring won''t be ready until then, or y ou won''t have the final money until then -- some good reason]. And then propose BEFORE that date? That way her guard will be down....


hmm... that''s a good idea, I''ll think about it and try to come up with a good reason to set a future date. Heh... I could even get mad at her for bugging and pushing me about it all and act like she made me give up the info early and ruin her surprise.

 

[Blue824]

Date: 9/19/2005 4:27:00 PM
Author: Brando
Good question, but she does know it''s coming, we''ve already booked the place for next year. She loves surprises but she''s so nosey and detail oriented that I have to really work to keep things from her.

Haha that sounds like me...my bf can never keep anything from me, even when he tries...if I know something is coming, as much as I want a surprise, there is something I find gratifing, for a brief moment, to figure out what it is before I get it, and then I complain that he doesnt surprise me!!! So if she''s anything like me, this will be difficult! However, I think being able to pull that one off with out her knowing is the perfect surprise. I think the imaginary date might work well enough to throw her off and maybe placate her for a little while and give you enough time to plan your date before then. It''ll be worth the extra effort on your part to see her honestly surprised. Good luck

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am the same. After 4.5 years of dating I was READY and getting FRUSTERATED. I got upset all the time. I think that is a normal girl response. He would even threaten that he was just going to hand it to me because I was "ruining the surprise" element. Well as much as I wanted my ring I wanted the perfect proposal as well. What he did was give me a deadline. He said I would have my ring by my birthday (end of June) so he proposed end of May to throw me off. Well the best part was he was suppose to spend that weekend in Vegas (he even let me see his flight information) well he spend a DAY there and flew to me to propose. That really threw me off. Everyone and their mothers will ask how you proposed. EVEN STRANGERS have asked me. So make it a good one

I am sure it will be perfect.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

I say you should stand your ground! Don''t tell her anything and try to ignore her complaints about getting angaged. After a while, you''re going to get irritated and you''ll think she''s being a spoiled brat, but believe me, she''ll thank you in the end for not ruining the surprise. Don''t give in! Or you''ll end up doing these things and your girl will feel this way:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/uneventful-proposal.33900/

 

[ame]

Date: 9/19/2005 4:20:42 PM
Author: cinnabar
Maybe she doesn''t like surprises? Some girls would much rather know for sure that an engagement is coming, than have the surprise proposal. Is the surprise for your benefit, or hers?

I am one of those girls. I get violently angry over them in fact, and he knows it.

 

[squeaksluv]

Why not ask her what she wants more...a wonderful and romantic proposal or the ring? Would she rather tell her friends & family that she was so nosey she ruined the surprise so you just gave her the ring or what a wonderful proposal you gave her? Put the ball in her court.

As much as I want to know its coming I also want to be able to tell everyone about the proposal. A friend of mine used to get in huge fights over it with her now husband. She wanted to be engaged and yesterday was''t soon enough for her! Finally, he had it and when she started yelling at him again he threw the ring at her and said ''fine, here''s the *&^$*# ring, thanks for ruining the proposal''. To this day she''s still trying to make it up to him and its been 3 years!!

 

[MissAva]

Wow, that is harsh.

 

[micci]

I got the now or later question put to me. when the ring arrived I got to see it, and then the choice was mine. have it now.... right now... while we are folding laundry.... or wait for a romantic proposal, time and place of his choosing. I chose to wait. it wasn''t that difficult as I knew he wanted to make it special for me. let her know that you are working on things. ask her if she REALLY wants to know all the details. chances are she just wants to know that this is as important to you as it is to her. I''m sure she will calm down even if its only a little.

 

[marvel]

Date: 9/19/2005 4:03:38 PM
Author:Brando
I''ve got a bit of a problem. My girlfriend wants us to be engaged and I''m working on getting the ring together

Pictures here, tell me what you think!:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-does-this-princess-look.33542/

My problem is that she keeps getting down about not being engaged yet. Now she knows that we will get engaged soon but I''m trying really hard to surprise her with when and how. You wouldn''t believe some of the hoops I had to go through to keep all this quiet. I drove 2 hours to LA to look at the diamonds there and got stuck in a fire on the freeway coming home. Trying to explain where I was for the whole day without tipping my hand at what I was actually doing was hard!!

Anyway, how can I calm her down and keep her from getting upset and frustrated without flat out telling her ''I''m buying the diamond and getting the ring soon.''? So far I''ve been making up excuses like not having quite enough money but that just made her more frustrated. Now I am just telling her ''I''m doing the best I can.'' Arrrgh, she''s trying so hard to ruin any surprises!

I''m reading this for the first time and it sounds like a Sienfeld episode. I live in LA and can only image what a mess it was to drive in traffic and then get stuck in the fires!!! OMG...then to explain where you''ve been...good lord!

 

[snuga]

LOL, it does sound like Seinfeld!