How to relax

[zoebartlett]

I need to run in a few minutes but I wanted to post before I left. I am, by nature, a worrywart. I worry (okay, obsess) about things all the time, even about things that aren''t in my control. Give me a wedding, a rehearsal dinner, and/or a honeymoon to plan, and I think about it constantly. Part of the problem is that since I have summers off, I have just about all the time in the world...to think, plan, worry, etc. My stomach is in knots a lot of the time and it''s hard to put those thoughts out of my head. It''s not as if things are going bad but I jsut want to know that they are going well and in a timely manner. Oh yeah, I also NEED to have things done way early (or at least I want to have them done early). Clearly I need to chill but I don''t know how.


Okay, I have to run to my class. I''ll check in later. Thanks for all your kind words of wisdom!

 

[Pandora II]

I have some really good relaxation cds that one of the pain clinics I attend gave me to teach you to control your stress and anxiety levels.

It has little exercises you have to do when the woman tells you - like tensing the muscles in your arms and them relaxing them - it kind of goes from your head to your toes I think - but I''ve always fallen asleep before I got past my knees!

I''m one of these people who can stay awake until 6am with thoughts and worries whirling round my head, so it''s a great help as a good nights sleep means you accomplish more and feel calmer.

I really recommend getting some of these - the ausience participation helps me focus, I can think away like mad over whale music!

 

[Skippy123]

You crack me up (you are too cute); don't you have a year (you are a worrier)?!?!?! How about yoga and using those techniques

ETA: came back from looking that info up

. . . July 12, 08; don't worry. Start working in 08. hehehe

 

[Haven]

Zoe, I completely understand what you mean. I have summers off, too, which makes it prime time for occupying your mind with ridiculous worries!

I''m not planning a wedding (yet) but getting lost in a really good book always takes my mind off of everything that does not exist between the covers. You can find great easy summer reads in any bookstore, they have special sections for "chick lit" in most stores now.

And a good pedicure at Red Door always does the trick, too.

 

[Aloros]

A bubble bath. That always calms me down, makes me smell fantastic, and is fun! Even better if combined with other relaxing things, like sipping wine, watching a silly movie, or reading a really good book.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 7/25/2007 6:01:47 PM
Author: Skippy123
You crack me up (you are too cute); don''t you have a year (you are a worrier)?!?!?! How about yoga and using those techniques

ETA: came back from looking that info up

. . . July 12, 08; don''t worry. Start working in 08. hehehe

Yeah Skippy, I have a year...

See, this is what I mean! I mean, I''m the kind of person who shows up at a movie theater 30 minutes early. I hate to be late and if I even arrive during the previews (before the movie starts, mind you), it screws the whole thing up for me. I can''t help it. Blame it on my mom. I take dry runs to unfamiliar places (say, if I have a meeting or something like an interview), just so I know ahead of time how to get there. I can''t help it!

 

[neatfreak]

Zoe, I am totally with you girl. I worry, no obsess, about EVERYTHING. It's gotten so bad that I feel like I might need to talk to my doctor. I feel anxious all the time about all kinds of stupid nonsense things and I can't shake it. It's a sucky feeling, I wish I had some advice...usually I just try and find something less obnoxious/more reasonable to worry about.

For example: I flew today. I hate flying. I always have very vivid images of my plane crashing horribly, etc. So much so that I am literally sick the entire day I fly. So, to try and stop the anxiety over that, I project my anxiety onto something like the wedding or a research project. Probably not healthy as I am not really **dealing** with it, but it works temporarily, somewhat. I just try to worry about something where thinking heavily about it might actually help, not hurt.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks Pandora, Aloros, and Haven! I appreciate the suggestions. I think maybe I will look into relaxation techniques. My class I''m taking now actually ends on Monday, so I''ll definitely have time to go to the pool I joined this summer and read some mindless books. Gotta love chick lit!

The other thing I''m stressing about is that the photographer we''ve agreed to use has just raised his prices and he may be even more out of our price range than he was when we agreed to use him. If we go with someone less expensive, we could put the money we would save towards our honeymoon to Portugal. I know this has little to do with the topic at hand, but the money situation is stressing me out too.

Pandora, how are you coming along with your planning? Have you found a dress? I''ve been reading your thread and I love the idea of the dress you''re looking at.

 

[Independent Gal]

My two most helpful (to me) techniques are:

1) Make lots of lists and list EVERYTHING. It feels good to cross stuff off (brushed teeth? CHECK! put on shoes? CHECK!...that kind of thing). It helps me feel in control. Of course, I try to cross teh big things off too.

2) Imagine the worst case scenario, then convince myself it''s not the end of the world, then remind myself that it almost certainly won''t happen anyway. Then remind myself that worrying about something that MIGHT happen is a huge waste of energy in the first place unless I can do something to prevent it. If I CAN do something to prevent it, I list... So, all bases covered! I repeat these things like a mantra.

If that makes sense.

If all else fails and I''m in a particularly worriful mood I sometimes make a big sign that says "CHILL THE HE%L OUT!" and stick it to my fridge wtih a piece of tape.

 

[aquarius_ser]

Zoe, you''re not alone sweetie... I hate it too... I''m never late anywhere, I take practice runs to places I need to be, all of it. I''ve been like this most of my life. I worry about everything- nothing is too small, I''ve stressed myself physically sick (stomach, headaches, periods too early, etc.). Unfortunately, I don''t have any good answers.
I used to lay awake ALL night with things running through my head. I went to the Dr. he prescribed a sleeping medication, switched to Lunesta last week - Which I am NOT promoting, by the way, I hate taking medicine but it affected my life so much, I had to do something.

My short list of relaxation techniques are walking/jogging, sitting in my "blow-up" pool and drinking a nice glass of wine or martini.

PS -My worrying/anxiety increased in the last 4 years though (when my dad was diagnosed w/lung cancer)

good luck

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks for the advice! It''s so weird how stress can make you feel -- sick to your stomach, headaches, etc. The class I''m taking is about to end and then I have just about a month off until school begins again. While I do have a lot of school work to do (planning for next year, etc.), I think I may take a few days off. Go to the pool, bring a good book, and just relax. I know, it sounds bad that I''m complaining when I''m not even working at the moment. I give all you year round workers all the credit in the world!!!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 7/25/2007 9:45:57 PM
Author: zoebartlett

Pandora, how are you coming along with your planning? Have you found a dress? I''ve been reading your thread and I love the idea of the dress you''re looking at.

I am a bad, bad person and have done zilch other than look at wedding ****!

I am finally meeting my co-ordinator on the 11th August so I''ve got to sort out my questions and stuff for that.

On the dress I''ll start a new thread at some point so I can get all you girls opinions on what I am now going for!

 

[Jas12]

Zoe, this is SUCH a common issue...especially among women

A good book for you (weird title but good!!): Full Catastrophe Living, by Jon Kabatt-Zinn

read all of it, buy the relaxation/meditaion CDs if you like what he has to say--i am an anxious person too and this book has helped so much