How would you feel if someone said this ...

[jewelerman]

Hello Hangout forum members!,
As many of you know I am currently unemployed.I rarely wear my good jewelry these days because of some of the comments I get about my jewelry while being unemployed.I have actually had more then one person just expect I will be selling my Rolex or better jewelry( I have liquidated many pieces of jewelry,watches,china, and art work to pay for college tuition when i went back to school at age 41)saying things like"we dont have to worry about you because you can just sell that big ring of yours" or "I guess you will have to sell your jewelry... thats what its there for".I am not destitute or am discussing money problems with these people when these comments come out...I am hurt by these comments because these people know i am conservative with money how hard I worked to afford these pieces or that they were gifts from my parents(mother passed away 3 years ago).What do I say when these comments come out in conversation?what do I say when people ask why im not wearing jewelry(i am known for wearing jewelry at social gatherings)Am I being overly sensitive and is our jewelry nothing more then a commedity and should have no other value but for sale or barter in bad times.Thanks for letting me ask these questions and vent alittle.

 

[FrekeChild]

I''d say, "None of your business." but I''m a bit blunt.

To me, jewelry is not a commodity (most of my pieces are pretty cheap to begin with). I don''t buy it to sell it-you know? I buy everything to wear it.

I would probably cut down on your jewelry, but not cut it out altogether. And when people ask inappropriate questions, I''d ignore them, shut them down with a pointed response, or change the subject.

I''m sorry people are acting like that to you!

 

[decodelighted]

Aw ... tough situation. I think people just don't know what to say sometimes & put their foot in their mouth. If you're "associated" with luxury items in their minds & then they hear you're unemployed or going back to school or cutting back or whatever AND they don't see you wearing your normal wardrobe of luxury items -- ack, I can *kinda* understand foot-in-mouth-type moments happening.

Some folks are less nostalgic & more pragmatic about jewelry/watches/material goods in general. Don't let their assumptions get to you. Everyone has a right to their own opinion & priorities. As long as you're doing what's best for you & your situation ... ROCK ON!

ETA: There also may have been some pre-existing jealousy about your luxury goods & sometimes when people make assumptions its what they WISH would happen. i.e. "I guess you'll have to sell that Big Rock" ... might really mean "I HOPE he has to sell that Big Rock". Jealousy AIN'T PRETTY!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I''d say: "Sell my jewelry? Never! I''d probably get more for one of my kidneys, anyway! HA!" Or maybe you can offer to sell one of your children to them? I kid!

Good luck with the job search!!

 

[purrfectpear]

I guess these friends know you are unemployed or they wouldn''t make those remarks. Have you expressed financial concerns to them about the length of your unemployment, or the impact it was having on your lifestyle? I agree it''s not really their business, but if you were a close friend and let me know that you were worried, I''d probably give you job & resume advice, and mention it might be time to turn luxuries into cash? If I was unemployed for more than 6 months I probably would start liquidating anything that I could turn to cash.

If you haven''t expressed any concerns about being jobless and they are making remarks out of the blue, just smile and say "no need, I have quite a nest egg"

 

[Linda W]

Date: 6/30/2008 1:39:51 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
People can be so crappy sometimes. I''m sorry for the a-h*les they can be. Classless, comepletely classless.

DITTO

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Jewelerman, please don''t feel like you have to stop wearing your jewelry just because you''re currently between jobs! I understand that you''re trying to avoid the rude, thoughtless comments of others, but at the same time you''re giving up something you enjoy (wearing jewelry) just to shut those obnoxious people up! You''ve worked hard for your jewelry (and some of it has sentimental meaning!) and you shouldn''t have to stop wearing it just because of other people''s thoughtlessness.

People can be extremely rude and thoughtless sometimes. I agree with the comment DecoDelighted made about jealousy . . . it''s not a pretty thing, and I think it''s definitely at work here.

When someone asks if you''re planning to sell X item of jewelry since you''re currently unemployed, I would just look at that person as if (s)he has three heads and say, "No." And just leave it at that. You don''t owe anyone an explanation! Hopefully that will make the rude person feel uncomfortable and they''ll realize that they''ve crossed the line!

Now go put your Rolex on!!!

 

[mrs jam]

Some people are not attached to jewelry and may view it is a commodity. For people who aren't interested in jewelry, they probaby have no idea of the hit you would take on the resale. I've never viewed jewelry as an investment, because it usually isn't. I don't have a lot of jewelry, but the pieces I do have are my prized possessions for either their beauty or their sentimental value; I would never EVER part with them. I do admit I pawned a couple of things while I was in college. It was stuff I wasn't attached to, and even though I was fully aware I was getting ripped off, I was more interested in the $$ than the bling.

After my divorce, my dad asked me what I was going to do with my "big gaudy rock" and told me I should sell it. I told him hell to the NO. Sentiment aside, I love my diamond and will one day have fun designing a pendant for it. Besides, I've wanted a large diamond since I was a little girl taping jewelry pictures from catalogs on my fingers, ears, and wrists. Now that I finally have one, I'm not going to sell it for a pittance and kick myself later.

I don't think you're being overly sensitive, but I don't think the people making those comments mean any harm. They are just not jewelry-enlightened. Let it go one ear and out the other.

 

[Miranda]

Date: 6/30/2008 1:59:21 PM
Author: Linda W

Date: 6/30/2008 1:39:51 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
People can be so crappy sometimes. I''m sorry for the a-h*les they can be. Classless, comepletely classless.

DITTO

Thritto!

You ask how I would feel? I would feel like flipping them the bird and telling them to mind their own business! Haha! Just kidding...Sort of. Sometimes people just don''t know what to say so they wind up saying the wrong thing. Sorry these folks are being so insensitive.

 

[WishfulThinking]

I ditto all the above comments- these people are really out of line. They seem to care about you, but thery''re not showing it in a way that is comforting to you in the least.

If one of them asks you about selling a particular piece of jewelery, I would be super honest about it. Something with sentimental value? Tell them what it means to you. I think even the most foot-in-mouth, classless people would find it hard to manage a comeback to "well, my deceased grandmother gave me this ring when..." Maybe the trick is to help them understand what it means to you, and that you don''t just value your beautiful pieces for aesthetic purposes [although that''s plenty reason enough!

], or as a commodity, but also as a sentimental piece of history.

Good luck, and I hope you are able to find a job soon.

 

[isaku5]

People who would say that are just plain rude and don''t deserve an answer, or, for that matter, a nanosecond of your time

 

[justjulia]

You know, this brings up another interesting topic of what jewelry to wear at a job interview. The obvious difference being that you interview with someone once, but your family and friends know you a lifetime and should accept you unconditionally. Not wearing your stuff is like living a lie.

I had this sorta same issue when meeting my depression era in-laws. For reasons I could not explain, I always wanted to wear even MORE jewelry when visiting them.

What''s the difference between you wearing your jewelry and other folks who walk around with thousands in debt on their credit cards? They are in the same boat but get away with it because our culture accepts an abundance in clothing and new crappy domestic cars but considers jewelry pure luxury.
I''m one thought to own like 2 pairs of shoes, but nice jewels. All in what you enjoy.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

JJ, I agree. I have sometimes felt like certain people are judging me based on the jewelry I wear . . . like they think DH and I are rich or something, which we are NOT! You''re exactly right . . . it''s all in what you enjoy, and what your priority is. Some of these same people are gadget fiends, and have very nice electronic equipment (TV, stereo, etc.), which DH and I do not have. BUT, we don''t judge them based on their entertainment center! LOL!

Also, DH and I are both fortunate in that we have very good jobs, which we''ve worked hard to get. I think we deserve to enjoy our "toys" since we''ve worked to earn them. I get so irritated with people who make assumptions based on appearances!!!

 

[didiamond]

I don''t think you should give it an extra thought. You should wear your jewelry as usual and ignore what those rude peeps are saying. It''s so classless. It''s none of their business to say anything to you at all, no matter how close your friendship is. It''s all in how comfortable you are with it though but I don''t think you should stop wearing your jewelry. Enjoy it (roll your eyes at people that aren''t enjoying it!) that''s what you have it for. Cheer up!

Don''t let them get you down.

 

[jewelerman]

Thanks for the responses!I will just ignore the comments from people and enjoy my jewelry for as long as i have it.The people of this forum are a great support and I really have a great time reading and posting here!Thanks again.

 

[2Artists]

That would really hurt me. I would feel like someone was kicking me when I was down. Not nice. I would want to say but likely wouldn''t-"I don''t believe in selling the family jewels now please stop kicking me in mine. Thank you very much." That is what would run through my head at least. I''m sorry that is not nice at all. Sometimes I don''t know how some people say the mean stuff they do. Best Luck.

female half 2Artists

 

[Kaleigh]

I think that stinks, and it would hurt me too. But perhaps their thinking is that because you were in the jewelry business it''s easy for you to selll your jewelry if you had to. Not playing devils advocate, just trying to think of why they would say that.....

I hope you find a new position soon. You definitely have a passion for the business.

 

[jewelerman]

Again, thanks for the posts and the support.

 

[Icy Melona]

I don''t think you''re being sensitive. I think those people making such comments are being insensitive by showing you lack of moral support and understanding for your situation.

People don''t seem to understand that jewelleries have great sentimental value. It takes you back to the moment of receipt- whether it takes you back to the person who gave it to you or the feeling/reasons that was behind the moment of purchase. The meaning that the items hold can be hard to let go of because essentially it''s part of you. I think it has very little to do with its material worth and more to do with its intrinsic worth. For someone to just claim, "oh, you can sell it because you need the $$" is abit harsh and inconsiderate because they think nothing of the meaning behind the items. Why do people keep heirlooms? What one infers from such comments is that your memories and sentiments should be easily disposable.

When my house was robbed, some of my sentimental pieces were gone and people comforted me by saying that I could just buy it again with the insurance money. It''s not the same. I knew I wouldn''t get the same relief and love I felt when my parents gave me my graduation ring or the same excitement and appreciation when my sister bought me my first Tiffany ring with her first pay cheque. Or the pride I felt in myself with the first jewellery I bought with my hard earned money. I just ended up going on holiday to Japan with the mister with that insurance money to give me something to remember by other than, yes these are insurance replacements.

People often think that spending money on jewels are frivolous and I think that reasoning may be behind some of their comments. But in the end, the hard decision falls on you and they''re unaware of that. I respect and admire that you''ve subsidised your education by parting with some of your memories and sentiment. I''m sure you loved each of those pieces and must miss them every once in awhile or more. This isn''t much help, but to say what you probably already know, pay them no heed and do the best for yourself. G''d luck!

 

[jewelerman]

Icy Melona,
Thanks for the post that says alot about how I beleive many forum members feel about their jewelry and heirlooms.
I dont regret going back to school but i do miss a few of the family heirlooms I have parted with,but they went to collectors or friends that had geniune appreciation for the objects they now care for.I occationally would like to have the Wedgwood china back or the american indian sculptures I purchased for my mothers art collection for her birthdays.I do miss my fathers ring and the jewelry I recieved from old girlfriends.I appreciate the support I have recieved from forum members on this topic.