Hurt feelings

[ky6]

Okay, I am trying to take this in stride, but I am really starting to get self-conscious because of something an old co-worker said yesterday. I had a little time to kill yesterday due to a meeting starting late and went by an old office of mine. One of the girls there was asking about wedding planning and asked if I had picked a dress. So I showed her the pictures of me in my dress that I had posted on here some time ago. Another old-coworker came up while she was looking at them and he asked if that was the dress I picked out. He did not realize that it was me in the dress in the pictures (she was only at the first two, which completely cut off my head), and he said he liked my dress but then went on to say, but look how big it makes her ass look! I smacked him thinking he was teasing because he knew it was me in the dress. But he didn''t. He didn''t believe us that it was me in the dress until she scrolled down and showed him the third picture which shows the side of my face.

I know he felt bad so I just tried to shrug it off because I didn''t want to make him feel worse, but it really did bother me. It makes me feel like the one most important dress of my life looks bad on me. And where I used to feel very confident in that dress, I now know that I am going to be very self-conscious in it. I was pretty content with my weight. I would have liked to lose another 5 pounds but if not, no biggie. But now I feel like I need to lose about 25!

Anyhow, I just wanted to get that off my chest. I know you girls willl understand how I am feeling. Thanks for listening.

 

[Caribou]

What a jackass!!!!!

Don''t let what he said bother you. Does he have any significant in your life? He''s just a pitiful little man that needs to be punched!!!

Maybe if you had another session of trying it on with people that matter most to you there. They''ll make you feel better.

 

[Caribou]

I just wanted to say, my aunt is very opinionated and I was really nervous for her to see my dress. When I walked out of the dresses room my other 'nice' aunt, cousin, my mom and my MOH were gushing at me. My opinionated aunt just looked at me with this look of disapproval.

I looked at her and said 'what's your problem?' Later she told me I looked beautiful...I don't think she meant it, I just think she was trying to save face. People can be so stupid.

 

[gracie007]

what an idiot. all that matters is how the dress makes you feel. AND seriously, the camera is not flattering to all!!! i know it is not nice to me!

 

[bstraszheim]

There''s an old story about a young boy, an old man and a donkey and the moral is that you can''t please everyone. It doesn''t matter what this jerk thinks, it matters what you think. Period. If this is the dress that you love, then you should wear it, your joy at getting married will make you glow! : )

I wish you well,

Bridget

 

[lmurden]

You have every right to feel bad! Some people just don''t know what they are saying! Always keep in mind that if you love the dress then don''t worry about what other people think or say. Another thing that I do is to not discuss my wedding plans with anyone except for brides to be and recent brides, because they tend not to be so catty! Good luck!

 

[ky6]

Caribou- I actually really adore these two from my old office. I try to still keep up with them and have lunch with them whenever I can. I know he would have never intentionally hurt my feelings, and I am sure he felt pretty embarassed about what he said when he found out it was actually me in the pictures. Which is why I didn''t make too big of a deal of it to him. My bridesmaids loved it and my FSIL saw me in it and gushed. I guess I am going to have to drag them all there with me for my first fitting which should be in March so that I don''t start second guessing my dress decision and burst into tears. Sorry to hear that about your opinionated aunt. Some people can be so thoughtless!

Gracie- I know. And I DID feel very good in that dress. I think that is what worries me is that his comment is going to make me much more critical of myself and start to no longer feel good in that dress. I really want to feel radiant that day so that I look radiant

Thanks for your understanding guys.

 

[lovelylulu]

ky6 -- i just did a little search and found a posting of what i think is you and your dress. First, it is an utterly beautiful dress. so classy and elegant! i love it.

second: you look gorgeous in that dress. seriously. it''s ridiculous that anyone made you believe you have to lose any weight, let alone 25 lbs. you have a killer body that so many people envy. really. you look tremendous.

block that comment out.

 

[FireGoddess]

Your BMs and SIL would never let you get a dress if they thought you looked bad in it. I have gone dress shopping with many friends and my SIL and I''m always very frank, as I''d want them to be with me. I wouldn''t worry about it, truly.

 

[selflove]

Okay, I just looked up your dress and I have to say: DON''T LISTEN TO HIM! Your ass does NOT look big--you have a great body and the dress looks great on you. Men have such a warped view of women''s bodies anyways. The ideal female body (for most of them) is a freak of nature.

(Some good advice for him: think before you speak!!)

 

[ky6]

Thanks for your nice comments. I agree that men do have weird notions of women's bodies (and this was even a gay man!). I am just going to have to suck it up and not let it bother me. I am a healthy person and I am marrying the love of my life. That is really all that matters, right?

My BMs are pretty honest, and I agree, they would not have let me pick a dress that looked bad.

I will probably still order a pair of Spanx anyway

ETA: I put that they would let me pick out a dress that looked bad, meant that they would not.

 

[flopkins]

I looked up your dress too and I think you look lovely in it... I wouldn''t worry a bit about it. I think maybe it was just the angle on that second pic, since it''s from below, that makes the bottom look bigger?! Anyway, you are fantastically skinny so no worries!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

You are the opposite of fat! You have a great figure. Ignore him. I actually just wore spanx for the first time and it did smooth me out and was comfortable BUT the top keep rolling down. Not for the amount of money I paid for them I was pissed. Maybe I should have got a smaller size. They also have a full stomach one that hooks to your bra so I guess I would suggest that.

 

[lisaC]

Some people just open their mouths and the stupidest things come out! I had a look at your pictures and your ass certainly does not look big! You look quite lovely and I hope his thoughtless comment does not make you second guess your choice!
Lisa

 

[caligal]

Girl- this guy is just jealous or plain crazy cause you look absolutely gorgeous in your dress! I had to look it up- and I remember seeing it and thinking how lovely you looked the first time you posted it!! NO weight needs to be lost- you look stunning!!!

 

[decodelighted]

I thought the dress was beautiful & you look awesome in it. I really think this was a terrible "whoops" moment for him & that

a) he''s not used to looking at women in white dresses from an "up at the butt" angle so doesn''t have a lot to compare with ((Lara Flynn Boyle wouldn''t hold up at that angle!!)

b) sometimes people like making "clever" zingy comments. That''s part of their personality. When they don''t think the "offended party" is in the room - they "find" things to "zing" about. In his own way he may have been trying to boost you up over "that girl" ... ensuring you that you''ll look better in the dress that "that bitch" ... only, OOPS, it was you!

Utimately - though stinging & embarrasing - this really will be a blip on the radar of all the great things & moments to come this year! Don''t give it anymore power over you!!!

 

[E B]

Ky6,

The only thing you need to remember is that you look beautiful in your dress. If ANYONE'S a critic, it's yourself (and I mean that as all ladies are their own harshest critics). If you felt you looked beautiful in your dress, I'd put money on you looking STUNNING in your dress! One picture might have been unflattering but it doesn't mean the dress is on your body. People look at you from all angles, not just one picture angle...and in the guy's defense, while his comments were rude, it sounds like he didn't make them to hurt your feelings. He was probably just saying dumb things that guys say in order to get a few laughs. Don't worry. You'll be a gorgeous bride!

p.s. I just found the thread with pictures of you in the dress, and you have NOTHING to worry about! You look amazing, and your dress is so elegant.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I don''t hang out here much, being already and married and all that good stuff, but I had to respond when I saw this. I''m so sorry that man made you feel unattractive and overweight

Since you''re pretty good friends and think he''s basically a good guy, he''s probably feeling like the world''s biggest idiot at the moment (not that it''s any consolation to you). I haven''t looked at you and the dress, but from other people''s comments, it sounds like you look very beautiful. And even if you DO have a big butt, your fiance loves you just the way you are and wants to marry you. Please try to shake off that thoughtless comment, and don''t let it affect you the way a thoughtless comment many years ago bothered me. When I was about 15 or 16, a neighbor boy and fellow swim team member told me I had big calves. Even though I was only about 105 pounds then, that comment has stayed with me 15 years later, and I still have a complex about those darn calves.

Oh well! The bigger they are, the more power to kick him in the butt with!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Wow, "insert foot here" (pointing at mouth). I wouldn't take it personally. Pictures can sometimes really suck for some people. Everytime I see pictures of myself I can't believe it's me. I always think I look fat and ugly. But you know what? I'm just a fat and ugly chick that's got a sweet and loving man who wants to marry me and says that I'm beautiful to him. I also have a family that thinks I'm the most beautiful girl in the world (of course they're biased!). But the biggest confidence boost is the fact that my wedding photographer called me recently because he wanted to hire me as a model for a commercial photo shoot (he even told his client that I was beautiful, which made me blush)!

Everybody has different preferences and apparently that guy has bad taste.

Be confident that no matter what, you will be a beautiful bride and you will have a room FULL of people who will be gushing over you!

If you want to lose weight, lose it for yourself and not for some ass that can't keep his comments to himself. If you're happy with your size, by all means, lift that head up high and show it!!

ETA: I just searched for your dress pics and I think you look wonderful. Don't let one person's bad comment get you down.

 

[HOUMedGal]

OK, first of all, I went back and looked at your thread where you''re asking about what jewelry to wear with your dress, and honey, your ass looks fabulous!!! That guy obviously needs to see an optometrist because your dress looks faaaaaabulous on you!!!!

Really, your dress is beautiful, and you look just stunning in it. Let silly comments like that roll off your back. He needs to learn how to not shoot his mouth off.

 

[AndyRosse]

KY6, I''m sorry about what happened, but honestly, I wouldn''t keep worrying about his comments. You HONESTLY look FANTASTIC in your gown.

I promise you, I wouldn''t lie.

 

[Dodger Gurl]

OK, I finally found your post where you posted pics of you in your dress:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/what-jewelry-w-this-dress.35033/


and I have to say that your coworker is bonkers to say anything like that.

I do not see your bootie being anywhere NEAR "big" AT ALL! All I see is the natural hour glass figure that women have. He''s probably not used to seeing such a tiny waist, that''s all. I love your dress, and I think you look FABULOSO in it!!

 

[glaucomflecken]

Girl, I just looked at your pics of you in your dress and i WISH my butt was that small! Don''t let anyone try to take away your happiness and how you feel in your dress. Men are clueless. Even if it wasnt you in the pic, what gives him the right to insult ANY woman and her body? Good grief. You work that dress honey!

 

[qtiekiki]

Girl you look fabulous in the dress. And of course your butt looks "big" if the picture is at an angle that is straight at the butt. I don''t think he realizes that. Plus it''s good to have junks in the trunk; otherwise the dress would just hang there. Think JLo. Don''t worry about losing 25lbs let alone 5lbs. You definitely don''t need to.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 1/10/2006 11:07:18 PM
Author: qtiekiki
Girl you look fabulous in the dress. And of course your butt looks ''big'' if the picture is at an angle that is straight at the butt. I don''t think he realizes that. Plus it''s good to have junks in the trunk; otherwise the dress would just hang there. Think JLo. Don''t worry about losing 25lbs let alone 5lbs. You definitely don''t need to.

I checked out your pics too, and I agree--it''s not your butt, it''s very obviously the angle of the shot--its a buttshot

! Plus alot of your top half is cut off so all there is to see in the pic is your butt (which is fab by the way, you do NOT need to lose any weight!!!)

Half the time guys make stupid comments without even realizing what they''re looking at

. I mean, if you were worried that your friends and fam were just being nice, you should take our advice! We dont know you and we dont have to fake gush! You DO look great in that dress! Dont you doubt it for a second!!

 

[MelissaSue]

Okay.. I just went and found your pictures.. (I don''t think I had seen them!!) A) Your dress is gorgeous.. B) WHAT? Your ass does NOT look big.. In fact.. you have a very small butt!! The dress accentuates the curves a woman is supposed to have(Waist, hips..) It looks spectacular on you.. and you have a hot bod!

 

[Kaili]

That guy is CRAZY!!
I am NOT being "just nice" when I say that there is no way, no how that your butt looks big. I am around thin women all of the time in my job, and you definitely do not have a big a$$! You have an adorable figure.

If you think about it... he sees you every day. If he thought you had a big caboose in real life, and he knows you are getting married, then he would have put 2 and 2 together and would have realized it was you in the photos. He didn''t because he doesn''t really think you have a large derriere. It proves that the photos were misleading to him. Does what I said make any sense???? I can''t seem to explain it clearly....

ANYWAY.... the bottom line is, your bottom line looks fantastic!!!

 

[kbarn21]

OK, I think the guy who said that needs to have his eyes checked! You look beautiful and do not have a big butt!

 

[icekid]

seriously, do not feel bad! you do not have a big butt in the least

 

[ky6]

You ladies are all so wonderful!!! I did not post this to fish for compliments, just to vent. But all of the wonderful compliments help reinforce to me that I should just disregard what was said and go on with my happy journey to the altar. Thank you all so much for making me feel good about my backside again and in some cases, thanks for a few laughs- you really are such a colorful group