I am such a sissy...

[ame]

Yea so a few of you know I have the house to meself this weekend right...well Im sure you don''t know that I am the biggest woosie about staying home alone. Even at my mom and dad''s I was a mess. I have gone so far now to prop chairs under the front, back and bedroom doors at night to be super sure that if someone still manages to get in, that I hear it and I am not *as* surprised.

I was up ALL night last night scared to death, with the Pamela Anderson Roast on for the 100th time, because every time Id fall asleep some pathetic little noise, like the a/c blowing at something and making it rustle (like a magazine or bag) and it would scare the everloving hell out of me.

I was debating taking something tonight but I am scared to because what if something happens, like a fire, and I am out cold and don''t hear the alarms (little known fact: my sister and brother and I are capable of sleeping through just about anything. we trained ourselves this way because my dad sucked and would use anything he could think of to wake us up at 7am on a Saturday to CLEAN)...

I am freaking crazy. Im about to call my sister to come sleep over in the other room.

 

[mrs jam]

Oh I am the same way! When the husband''s out of town, I leave on every light in the house and turn on the dryer just to have some comforting noise. What really freaks me out is when I''m alone in the house and the dogs start staring out the windows and barking! I need to have a boyfriend so I don''t have to spend the night alone when Richard''s away on business. But I don''t think he''d understand.

 

[Kaleigh]

Oh ame,
You poor dear. You will be fine, just leave a light on outside and lock the doors. It''s funny cause when I was first married and my hubby had to travel a lot, I was the same way. But as time went on I got used to it and even kind of liked it. I would get the bed to myself and cook what I wanted etc.... But you''ll be fine. Keep a couple of lights on, and try to relax.

 

[ame]

Date: 8/20/2005 12:04:46 AM
Author: kaleigh
Oh ame,
You poor dear. You will be fine, just leave a light on outside and lock the doors. It''s funny cause when I was first married and my hubby had to travel a lot, I was the same way. But as time went on I got used to it and even kind of liked it. I would get the bed to myself and cook what I wanted etc.... But you''ll be fine. Keep a couple of lights on, and try to relax.

hehe relax. HAHAHA!

 

[Jennifer5973]

If he is gone a lot, get ADT security & fire. It's SO WORTH it. We always have had it and it has nothing to do with where you live--some of the highest robbery rates are in high-end towns. It's great ecurity and when we had a fire alarm (false-furnace blew back) they were here in 60 seconds--I didn't even have clothes on yet

(I was in the bath when it went off).

Note: get the wireless system--even if phone line is cut, it still works.

As for tonight, keep lights on, TV, and leave the chairs by the doors if that makes you feel better--that actually works/can't get through door.

 

[Kaleigh]

Yes an alarm system is great too. We have one and it does give me peace of mind. I''m not making light of your situation ame, I was in the same boat years ago.

 

[MissAva]

If the doors and windows really bother you there are cheap little alarms that get sold in packs of 4 at the walmart. IF the door or window goes off they sound just like a real alarm. I had these when I lived in the dorms at UA after my stuff was stolen. They are very LOUD, but no one will surprise you. Dont feel bad about being a chicken I read about 200 pages of the alarm manual when my parents went out of town and we live in a very nice area, the property is gated and every set of doors when opend announces of the house stero system which was opened. And still I made all three dogs stay in my room.

 

[allycat0303]

Hey Ame,

I know exactly how you feel! I''ve never stayed overnight, anywhere! I have to admit that even on a noraml sunny, afternoon, if I''m in the house alone, I get all these thoughts that I am hearing things, that a burgler is inside. I once saw this Oprah show where there was an ex burgular and he said that the owners of the house surprised him in the act, so he hid under their bed for the whole night. The next morning he made himself breakfast and let himself out!!!! I don''t think it has to be dark for bad things to happen.

I think my fear is a bit crazy, I live at home and my parents live in a very affluant, no robberies EVER neighborhood. We even have the ADT alarm/fire system, and I STILL can''t stay home alone at night. But my sister, mother, aunt, grandma are the same way, so I think it might be a family/environment thing.

 

[FD21Bride]

Don''t feel bad...I''m totally in your boat. My fiance and I somewhat live together (we are getting married next May) anyhow.. He is a fireman and workes 24 hours on shift and 48 hours off. I am so bad about being by myself that on the days he works, I stay at my mom and dads.
We, however, have been robbed before and I think that is where my fear stems from. So, I bought a big dog that I let sleep in the bedroom with me at night. It makes me feel a little more protected..except when he runs into the bathroom and barks at the shower for no reason at 10:30 at night. (that will freak ya out!) We also have an alarm system but I hardly ever turn it on...I''m terrified that one night it actually will go off and scare the crap out of me!

ALso...Lunesta and Sonata are wonderful things! They don''t knock you out but make you drowsy enough to fall asleep and help you stay asleep. You still wake up though just not as often and it''s easier to fall back asleep. Benadryl also works!

Do what ya gotta do! If chairs make ya feel better go for it!

 

[ame]

Date: 8/20/2005 10:03:03 AM
Author: Matatora

If the doors and windows really bother you there are cheap little alarms that get sold in packs of 4 at the walmart. IF the door or window goes off they sound just like a real alarm. I had these when I lived in the dorms at UA after my stuff was stolen. They are very LOUD, but no one will surprise you. Dont feel bad about being a chicken I read about 200 pages of the alarm manual when my parents went out of town and we live in a very nice area, the property is gated and every set of doors when opend announces of the house stero system which was opened. And still I made all three dogs stay in my room.

yknow what, I bought some at bed bath and beyond a few weeks ago when I returned registry stuff. They are buried in the guest room because we rearranged stuff for the new bed. Thanks for reminding me.

We have discussed ADT/Brinks. Ryan is teetering on that decision. I don''t know what has stopped us, probably money. He rarely is gone though. Usually for a few days in August for Nerd-Con and then he goes down to Dallas about 4 days ahead of me for thanksgiving. So luckily I am not alone often. Usually I can''t get him to go away!

Thanks for the support. My mom is used to being home alone, or was, since my dad was gone to DC most weekdays in a month. And she had us to "protect" her. heh

 

[sjz]

For the most part I''ve gotten used to being home alone at night. My husband works the night shift sometimes, and usually the kids are home when he''s gone. Once in a blue moon, he''s working and both kids are sleeping at a friends, and I''m here alone. I hardly get any sleep! Our dog sometimes gets werid in the night and will bark for no reason. When that happens, I keep thinking there''s someone sneaking around outside, so I''ll turn all the oustide lights on, even in the back, and leave them on all night. I''m sure the neighbors don''t appreciate that, but it makes me feel better.

I''ve read that one of the best things you can do to prevent home invasion is to keep inside lights on, even when you aren''t at home. Most invaders aren''t going to risk someone being in the house, and if they see a light they can''t be sure, so they most of the time won''t break in. I have several of those inexpensive electric candle lights in different rooms of my house that I leave on 24/7. They look really pretty, give off a nice ambiance, and they are just enough light so that you can see where you are going in the dark and light up a room to the extent that it would make a burglar think twice about coming inside. Between the lights and my dog, who will bark insanely if anyone even sets foot on our property, I feel pretty safe. I''m just a big baby when I have to sleep alone I guess.

 

[Diamonds4Me]

I am the exact same way. Last trip h2b went on I snuck around the house with a gun because I thought I heard a noise.

Ended up sleeping with every light on inside and outside. The house was ablaze, lol.

 

[WTNLVR]

Definately get an alarm system for peace of mind. How ''bout a dog and a gun? When hubbys away I have 1 dog in my room with me, the other one outside my room, all doors locked and a gun at my side. I am really paranoid when alone at night. Mind you I live in a pretty rural, safe area- but you can never be too careful. I too have thought I heard someone in the house and gone around with the 9mm ready to go. Mind you I am fully trained and certified in the use of a hand gun. Don''t get a gun without getting fully trained in it''s use for protection. And in my opinion NEVER get a gun if you have kids in the house.

 

[Mara]

Oh my gosh I could never have a gun in the house!! That would just freak me out even more. Isn't there some stat about people who have guns in the house for safety and then the guns are turned to use on them instead? If you are trained, excellent but I'd probably shoot my foot.

We watch ALOT of CSI and I am SOO paranoid about attackers and rapists. Probably makes me more aware than the average person. I have always been a wuss about staying alone but I had to get over it when I lived alone for 2 years in my old place. It was small enough for me to 'hear' if something was going on and I familiarized myself with the sounds of the house etc. But my door didn't have a lock (bedroom) so I would not leave windows open and I had those 'poles' in the windows and doors so no one could open them more than a certain amount etc. It made me feel okay.

Now that I live with Greg, I knew I would immediately revert back to being freaked out when he was gone...he does go rowing early in the mornings a few times a week and I used to get really paranoid about being SURE someone was watching the house and me and this and that. Back when I lived with a roommate about 6 years ago, I actually had a stalker too which doesn't help.

Watching so much CSI I'msure doesn't help nor did the fact that someone broke into our patio last year and took a plant stand and then a few months later (after we installed a lock on our gate) someone was jingling the gate lock trying to get in (he had left the car running and god only knows what he wanted..hopefully only from the patio!!) but he got freaked out that the gate was locked and ran back to the car. Since then we have not had any problems. But we have an alarm on the house, and the alarm beeps whenever a door is opened EVER so it alerts me to when Greg gets home and the like...aka if I hear the two beeps and no one ever shows up,that is when I freak out! We also don't leave any windows open and I also lock myself in the bedroom when he leaves and I have my cell phone handy and a baseball BAT.

Bottom line is that you have to feel comfortable with your levels of protection...aka I know it's silly to lock myself in my master bedroom with a bat and a cell phone and the dog but it makes me feel OK. I freak out if I don't have the cell phone with me or something because I am SURE that is the night that something would happen. I actually have been thinking about getting a rope ladder because even though I am locked in the bedroom, what is my escape route...so that's probably my next step and then I have to make sure I can get Portia into some sort of carrying device with me because I would not leave her behind. (You can see I give this alot of thought!!)

This may sound like I think about this all the time, but I don't. It's mostly in the 10 minutes after Greg leaves in the morning. Then I usually fall back asleep. I can be pretty imaginative too. It's a bit sad that I am this paranoid, but I don't watch the news, watching CSI instead is almost worse because I know that alot of these are based on real cases. People are capable of doing horrible things to each other and I want to be prepared. I also have kickboxing skills and am a very strong gal. Greg kind of laughs at my paranoia saying that no one would dare attack me because I would wipe the floor with them. Maybe he's right and maybe not. But I hope I am never in that situation where I have to find out.

So do whatever it takes to make yourself feel comfortable, even if it seems silly. Even inviting your sister over, I do this sometimes when Greg is traveling, aka one night I am alone and the next night I invite her over for a sleepover (she's 15 so she loves it). Better safe than sorry I say and I agree highly that having an alarm helps with peace of mind (though I have read about how career criminals know how to easily de-arm those things so it's not foolproof). And don't feel bad about being scared, with what goes on in the world out there, I think if you are scared, you are being smart...and aware.

 

[FD21Bride]

I have to disagree about not having guns in the house. I actually have 2 of my own handguns...the difference is that I know enough about how they work and how to use them that it makes me feel more secure and it doesn''t bother me that they are in the house.
I was a nurse in a correctional facility for a few years and I have learned from some of the past inmates that most burglers that break into homes are not armed (Note the word MOST). They are just there to grab what they can and leave without a confrontation.
I figure if someone does break in...if they see me with a gun more the reason for them to take off without a fight.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Oh, Ame I remember when I was just like that. When I was newly married and my husband had to travel, I''d go back to my mother''s to stay even though it was further away from work and a real pain to do. As the years went by and the kids came, I seemed to overcome my fears. I used to always make a point of getting home before dark, going down in the basement and checking and relocking the door, upstairs to the next two levels doing the same thing with all doors and windows. Then I would tell myself that I knew no one was there, if they tried to break in I would hear them, and the chances of someone breaking in just because he was away were slim to none. I made sure no one knew he was gone! He''s the one that sleeps like a rock anyway - I''d hear someone long before he did. He also doesn''t wake easily - they''d have us dead before he knew what happened!!

I am sorry for you because of your anxieties - I have felt the same way for years but the fears have eased as I have gotten older. The good news for you is that you are able to laugh at yourself - that way you know you''re still OK! I get a kick out of your descriptions sometimes - especially over those rings!

I can''t have guns in the house either - just don''t like the idea. An alarm system may help as may medication or a glass of wine. I am sure you have smoke detectors so try not to worry about fire. You will be exhausted from no sleep by the time he gets home

- maybe you can at least nap during the daytime hours!

 

[ame]

I definitely have anxiety. I take Wellbutrin, really none of the drugs and none of the therapy helps because my brain is that good to work around it all. Its like a challenge to be insane that I enjoy taking on. haha!

I did much better last night than I did the night before...till 230 when some drunk assclown misdialed my cellphone telling me just how much he is sorry he got caught cheating at the bar, and I told him to try dialing his woman again because this wasn''t her. Took about a half hour to get back to sleep ARGH! I am usually pretty annoyed by that but 90% of the (absurdly high number of) wrong numbers I get are actually looking for the children''s hospital, 1 number off from mine. It''s hard to be a jerk to someone worried about their kid in the middle of the night.

At least tonight is the last night Im alone for a while. Going to my folks for supper.

 

[Mara]

Oh and another thing I do is turn my cell phone ringer to the very lowest setting for the ring, if not off completely sometimes...I HATE being woken up by it esp when I am alone, so freaky.

MGR I also check the house from top to bottom the night before. It''s extra peace of mind and as you said then it''s just worrying about someone getting in rather than someone ALREADY in!

 

[WTNLVR]

One thing I also do if let''s say I''m alone and I HAVE to let in a repair person- First off I have mace in my pocket, second have strategically placed sprays around the house like off, air freshener- anything you can grab and spray in an attackers face. I sometimes just have a rag and a can of pledge in my hand when I let the guy in so he just thinks I''m cleaning the house. Little does he know! I learned this in an NRA personal protection course. Very simple.

 

[strmrdr]

suggestion for a new best friend.

 

[sjz]

Date: 8/20/2005 8:25:41 PM
Author: WTNLVR
One thing I also do if let''s say I''m alone and I HAVE to let in a repair person- First off I have mace in my pocket, second have strategically placed sprays around the house like off, air freshener- anything you can grab and spray in an attackers face. I sometimes just have a rag and a can of pledge in my hand when I let the guy in so he just thinks I''m cleaning the house. Little does he know! I learned this in an NRA personal protection course. Very simple.

That''s really a good idea! I am often home alone during the day time when workmen have come to the house for something, and I have been a bit nervous from time to time. I mean, not being paranoid, but these are strangers we are allowing in our homes. I guess I''ll start answering the door with my clorox bleach spray in hand from now on.

Something else I''ve done when I''ve been at home alone is to have a radio playing downstairs which is tuned to a talk radio station. I figure if someone is outside my house, wondering whether or not someone is in the house, hearing voices should deter them. Especially if there are lights on in different rooms.

 

[EZ]

Snub revolvers tend to have too much muzzel/cylinder flash and can ruin night vision when it's needed most. Too, I don't like the idea of a bullet possibly going through a wall into a neighbor's house. The little mobility lost to a shotgun's length is made up for by it's area affect and lack of downrange energy.

 

[EZ]

Then again, a real best friend can cuddle up with you too.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Wow, I thought I was paranoid, but now I think I'm just normal.

Has anyone heard of an actual repair man attacking somebody? Yes, they make me a bit uncomfortable, but unless they're not real repairmen, they probably are not so tempted by the glorious thought of attacking me that they would risk their jobs.

It's funny, I was more scared living in a nice complex in the suburbs (alone) than in a building in the city (with my husband). At my old place I was aware of every point of entry (front door, two sliding glass doors, one window) and was so freaked out I had an ADT alarm installed, which of course I set off accidentally a few times and which malfunctioned (went off constantly) once or twice, so in the end it was a headache but it gave me peace of mind.

I feel ok living in the city, maybe because people are always around, even though there are some sketchy areas nearby (church next door has a soup kitchen, so the homeless congregate there). I don't come home late at night and carry pepper spray. I feel pretty secure because we're on the third floor and you have to enter a security code to come in the front door. We do have a fire escape/deck in the back that is accessible through the alley, but we have bars on the windows, and we are literally the last apartment to be reached from the alley. First you walk by the fire escape for six units, then you get to our stairs, then you have to walk past 11 units before you get to ours. I figure that nobody would randomly choose our place to break into to, so my only fear is my crazy mother-in-law's rapist husband (but that's another story).

When I bought the place, the previous owner left what we thought were all of the keys, but then DH noticed that some things the guy had left accidentally in the kitchen had magically disappeared. My husband changed the locks, and then told me how that meant the guy must have kept a key (I guess he knew I would freak out). Yes, it was his stuff he had come back to get, but excuse me, who the **** do you think you are keeping a key and letting yourself in? He has gotten several important looking pieces of mail in the last year (apparently never forwarded it), and I feel no sorrow when I throw them out instead of writing "return to sender." I hope he got that city tax matter worked out.

My current problem is that when DH waters the plants in the morning, he sometimes leaves the back door unlocked. I've slept another hour or taken a shower a few times before realizing that the place was wide open. Grrr. Yes, I'm glad he takes care of the plants, but it's not that hard to remember.

 

[Diamonds4Me]

While I used to be afraid of guns I have since been trained and carry one on my person when working. In my field of work there are far too many people out there that can cause serious harm. With the spike of foreclosures in my area its becoming even more frightening. In my continuing ed class just recently we were drilled with safety issues and for good reason. Not too long ago a realtor was found murdered in a closet in an empty property. It took ten months for anyone to find him and when they found his attackers they were in Michigan. He was in Charlotte, NC. Another realtor was lured to a foreclosed property by a woman who called in to set up an appointment. When the agent arrived there was no woman but two men hiding in the shrubs on either side of the door. Thankfully she did get away. When I''m sitting in my office I never wear jewelry of any kind, I dress very plain and I always have a few golf clubs beside me. Everyone just assumes that I like to practice my putting..which I do..but it serves another purpose. However, I can only throw a golf club so far if I ever am attacked. I had one client that became quite irate for no reason what so ever. He was young and had an even younger girlfriend and wanted to show off his manly self in front of her by blowing up at me over nothing. I was pretty scared at his unwarranted hostility and let him know that it was not acceptable. That was the only time that I thought I was going to have to tee off on a human being. Also, if I have to go to a clients house at night to have papers signed, h2b will drive me and wait in the driveway. I put my cell phone in my pocket and turn the volume down to vibrate. We have Nextel so I make sure his name is the first on the list so if anything happens all I have to do is hit the button to alert him that he''s needed. A long time ago I used to carry pepper spray and thought that I was safe. That was until someone told me that I was supposed to test it every so often. Well, I wasn''t aware of that. I had a false sense of security because when I did finally test the spray nothing came out. It wasn''t locked either. Just dried up. And it wasn''t that old. The night before that I had walked from one side of the UNCC campus to the other in the dark thinking..hehe, I''ve got pepper spray. Just try it buddy!

Talk about scared.
I will use every thing I possibly can to protect myself but the gun is there only as a last resort. I will take a knee cap off if need be.


As for the spray cans around the house, I do that too. Really good idea. Also, when I''m home alone during the day and someone knocks on the door trying to sell me something I can peek around the hall corner and see who is standing outside the front door because of the big oval window in it. They can''t see me but I can see them and if I don''t know them they don''t come in.

I also had one instance where I was outside washing my car. I was home alone and apparantly there were two guys walking door to door through the neighborhood to "inform" people about a new restaurant in the area. I didn''t see the one guy because I had my back towards the road. He came halfway up the driveway before announcing himself. He absolutely scared the life out of me. I thought my heart was going to stop right then and there. Before he even got a word out I told him it wasn''t a wise thing to do sneaking up on people on their property like that. He could get very hurt. He blurted something out and left..thankfully, but my neighbor was the one who informed me about what they were doing. Then one year a guy was going door to door selling some kind of cleaning product. OK, not so unusual...but its July, 90-something degrees out and he was wearing leather pants and a zipped leather jacket. What am I supposed to think...he''s cold?? No, I''m thinking what''s he hiding under there.

We do have an alarm system and I am very rarely home alone because of his mother that lives in the in-law appartment we built onto the house. But she''s 78 and I don''t exactly expect her to jump the person''s back and tackle them to the ground either. There''s a whole lot of meanies out there and I''ve ran into a few of them. Some that actually threatened and some that just gave that vibe. A word of advice...always trust the vibe! I''d rather err on the side of caution. I trust very few and the ones I do trust it took a long time to get to that point.

You aren''t crazy or a sissy for feeling the way you do. It is important to be comfortable with your safety and know that you can hold your own if you have to.

Oh, and my grandmother did the chairs against the doors alarm trick too. When I was a kid spending the night at her house it was a nightly ritual. Prop chairs against every door leading outside and put cans under the windows.

 

[mtleaves]

I used to feel the same way ame. Once it got dark outside every scary movie I''ve ever watched kept flashing into my brain. I would go around and check every window and door to make sure they were locked and then I would start thinking ''what if someone is inside the house? Did I just lock myself in with a killer?'' My boyfriend is out of town a lot and I''m getting better about it, even starting to look forward to it. The key is planning. When I know he is going to be out of town I plan a really nice night for myself. I''ll order take out from my favorite restaurant, get a bottle of wine and rent some great chick flicks. For some reason making the night something to look forward to helps me not get scared. I''m more relaxed.

 

[ame]

Date: 8/26/2005 10:55:40 AM
Author: mtleaves
I used to feel the same way ame. Once it got dark outside every scary movie I''ve ever watched kept flashing into my brain. I would go around and check every window and door to make sure they were locked and then I would start thinking ''what if someone is inside the house? Did I just lock myself in with a killer?''

EXACTLY. You hit a great deal of it right on the head.

 

[Kaleigh]

ame,
Did you get an alarm system???? That gives me some piece of mind, and my doggies help too.

 

[ame]

not yet. He bought nerd crap instead.

 

[yellowfan]

I hate staying alone too. There are those extra locks you can buy at QVC and no one can get your door open with one of those on. They are marketed for hotel traveling, but I put them on my basement, garage, and extra doors that I usually don''t use and afraid someone will come out of the basement!!!! They are cheap and you can look them up at Qvc. I will search for a item number. I also have more than enough guns but I don''t know if I would panic too much and not use them........ My dogs don''t bark. My DH is deaf so literally my family could be murdered and hubby would sleep thru it