I had a meltdown..

[jessa]

well, i think i did it to myself...but that doesn''t make it any better.

the BF was looking at a friends registry yesterday and I asked when we could register. he said after we are engaged. i asked when that would be, he said sometime, it went on and on (this is sorta usual because we just go back and forth until i just kinda shut up and leave it alone.) then finally he just sternly told me he didnt know. (after talking to him apparently he didn''t me to say it so sternly) After that, I just walked out of the room and went and did something else. He knew there was tension then.

Last night, we were going out with from friends who just got married. (the registry he was looking at) He knew I was quiet all night and pretty much knew something was wrong. I tried to hide it and I did have a good time out even if i was a bit upset. Well when we got home, I really couldn''t keep it in anymore. I tried, because I knew I was going to cry and last time I cried it made him feel bad and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Well eventually I ended up crying and he was very understanding and has actually been worried about me. He said with all the weddings we''ve been to already (3 so far in the last 3 months) and helping my best friend with hers (which is later this year) he''s been worried it will get to me. He said that ive been doing much better lately (which we had a big laugh about haha). He told me that he thinks about it everyday and is very ready, but he is not willing to go into debt over buying a ring and said he''s doing the best he can.

So i guess he was okay with my meltdown? haha. I tried to keep it from him which he said upset him (but he understood I didn''t want to make him feel bad) because he wants me to tell him anything and everything without be scared of how it will affect him...which makes perfect sense.


I asked him if next year after we''re engaged if we can just laugh and joke about all this? He laughed and said as long as its not too often..haha.

 

[suchende]

this economy sucks.

**hug**

(ETA: assuming money issues are related to the economy, if not, money issues in general suck

)

 

[*Danielle*]

Well, at least he is understanding. Don''t worry too much. We all have our moments and they will just have to deal with it.


Because they love us of course.

 

[vc10um]

Boys can be surprisingly understanding about our meltdowns, I''ve discovered.

I wonder if they go through the same thing at say, 16, when they''re trying to get their first car??? Either that, or they''re all stalking PS!

I had a meltdown about a week and a half after my officemate got engaged, and after me crying and sobbing for hours after it finally got to me, he just held me and told me that he would do it at the perfect time and place. It was reassuring to know that he *wanted* to marry me, but that he just hadn''t found the right time to ask.

So take away from your meltdown how much your BF loves you, that he *wants* to marry you, and that he wants to ask you with the ring he feels you *deserve*.

 

[Blackpaw]

Im sorry Jessa

lots of hugs to you...

i know how hard it can be not to break down...i like to do it in the shower, with the lights off...makes me calm again. Not so good for trying to get out though

More hugs, its only natural to feel that way sometimes.

 

[jessa]

Thanks for all the sweet hugs and such

I feel a lot better today and after thinking about it, I''m kinda glad I broke down because he was able to tell me things and make me realize that he wishes he could do it now too. He kept saying if he could, he would have done it months ago.

vc, its funny that you mention he wants to ask with the ring i "deserve." last night, in the midst of my tears he said that he could go buy me something now but he knows its not what i want and its not what he wants to buy. he said he wants to buy me the ring i deserve. Just interesting that you both used deserve. I never really think of a ring or any jewelry as something one deserves.

money issues suck in general. I feel kind of bad too sometimes. He has graduated with a degree and has a full time job in his career field so he makes triple what I do. I work part time at a job (no way in the world I want to be at for the rest of time) and go to school full time. So because I don''t work as much, he pays a bigger part of the home expenses. I just wish I was able to help with those more...lately i''ve been feeling like a mooch. He assures me that he wouldn''t change anything and that he is okay with helping to support me while i''m in school. He says that he would rather us be low on cash now, have me graduate with a good degree so that I can get a good job and hopefully then, we won''t be hurting for anyhting...I completely agree with his thought, but I do feel like a smooch.

 

[Nomsdeplume]

He sounds like a really nice guy! You got a keeper!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

If it''s any consalation it sounds like he handled it really well which is always a positive sign.

 

[LilyKat]

You know, to me, it doesn't particularly sound like you had a meltdown - more like an honest and open discussion which included laughing at yourselves and, most importantly, proper communication from both of you. Which is a good thing, not something to be embarrassed about

Don't stress about it.

 

[crossmyfingers]

I''ve had a couple meltdowns in the past couple months. It sounds like your BF handles it like my BF does. Sounds really good that he is there for you when you are upset and doesn''t just tell you you are crazy or anything like that. That''s awesome that he told you he is ready but just needs a little more money! Good luck staying patient!

 

[boobookitty]

hang in there. i am in the same position as you but at least your bf has a job. mine graduated in april and hasn't been able to find ANYTHING. it is SO discouraging right now. so not only does he have to worry about a ring and me wanting to be engaged, he has to worry about school loans and being able to afford to still come see me since we still live 300 miles away

and right now with him not being able to find work, his expenses far exceed his income. i really think it's starting to get to him because he's beginning to act distant and it's starting to scare me and i'm really worried abut him. money issues really do suck

i just wish he could find a job! so please try and realize their are some upsides to your situation as i am trying to realize the upsides of mine...even though i can't seem to find any

 

[pluck15]

First, I''d like to ditto everyone''s responses here! At least you know that when you are upset, he wants to make it better, and doesn''t get angry at you for your "meltdown". That''s a huge plus

But I also want to say that you''re not alone! I haven''t had a huge melt down in front of my bf yet, but there have definitely been times where my mood just plumits and I get really crabby. However, I think if I have to go through another false alarm...I just might break down and cry right in front of him. Hopefully he''ll be as understanding and loving as your man!

::HUGS:: to you!