I hope it''s OK to post this here..

[HappyNewLife]

...but I thought this might be the best area for feedback (vs. the proposal forum)... this is long, sorry.

background: I''m a girl (well, woman, I''m 34) who''s in love with a girl. I''ve met "the one" and want to propose to her. We are all girls here and we all LOVE romance, so HELP and let me know what you think, please provide feedback, etc!

I was thinking about proposing "later this year", then she booked us on flights to San Francisco in June where I thought I''d do it there and moved up my timeline. But the more I think of it, doing it in SF will be tricky. She''s a VERY private person. She would never want anyone to be around during a proposal (nor a camera for that matter), so restaurants are out and that is hard to set up since it would all have to be on the phone. We won''t be renting a car (it will be suspicious if I do), so we won''t exactly want to take a cab to the beach and then potentially get stuck there. Golden Gate park seems too cliche, as does the bridge. That really just leaves me wondering if I can pull something cute off in a hotel room?

Another thought was me showing up the next time she goes to LA for work (which is just about every month) and surprising her and spending the weekend with her. That would work, except her next trip is NEXT week, and then the one after that is probably in like July or August, and now I kinda want to do it before then. So that''s out too.

So then I had this thought tonight. What if, when she comes back from the airport (week after next) and comes home (ack, that is in THIRTEEN DAYS), she comes home to a dark house. I will tell her that I can''t be at her place that night because of a delivery or something the next morning. What if, in her back yard, and she will see it as there are four walls of glass sliders on the back side of her home, there are little (battery operated) tealights that write out "Will You Marry Me"? Her back yard is a big square gravel-covered area that would be level and perfect. (plan B if it rains??? guess I put 200 tealights into ziplock bags and do it anyway? ha)

Then what? Where should I be hiding? What else can I do to romance it up? I am going to be so nervous I will probably vomit. This is why men are supposed to do this!

OK ladies-- help me! This will be the only time I ever propose, she''s the "one" and she has never been proposed to. I have (was married to a man, had kids, the whole thing, then realized I''m gay) and it was a super unromantic proposal. I don''t want that for my girl.

The ring I ordered from BGD should be here by then, so I think week after next could be a GO, but I am still ok with waiting til San Fran. But how do I propose there?

OK, ramblefest over... thanks in advance!

 

[beezygal]

Date: 4/16/2010 2:05:30 AM
Author:HappyNewLife

So then I had this thought tonight. What if, when she comes back from the airport (week after next) and comes home (ack, that is in THIRTEEN DAYS), she comes home to a dark house. I will tell her that I can''t be at her place that night because of a delivery or something the next morning. What if, in her back yard, and she will see it as there are four walls of glass sliders on the back side of her home, there are little (battery operated) tealights that write out ''Will You Marry Me''? Her back yard is a big square gravel-covered area that would be level and perfect. (plan B if it rains??? guess I put 200 tealights into ziplock bags and do it anyway? ha)

I like the tea lights idea. Wouldn''t it be perfect if there''s music to go with it? Her favourite song or a meaningful song? I think that''s very romantic. You should check the weather before hand.

Maybe you can have romantic notes around the house leading her to the backyard. At that time, you can stand beside the "Will you Marry me" tea lights with the ring in your hand? How does that sound? I wish my FF will do that, but he''s not romantic. Oh well!

 

[HopeDream]

Wow HappyNewLife, Your proposal Idea Sounds lovely!

Congrats on finding your "the one"

What about a big heart made of dried rose petals around the message in tea lights? I think you can buy dried rose petals in the potpourri section of most depatrment stores.

Maybe a little trail of tealights leading from the front of the house to the backyard?

What if you set up a camping tent in her back yeard with the tealights in it and you could hide with your message inside (and a bottle of champagne) It could be all fancy with a nice blanket spread out and cushions to lean on, middle eastern style.

Good luck!

 

[oddoneout]

Date: 4/16/2010 2:24:47 AM
Author: beezygal

Date: 4/16/2010 2:05:30 AM

Author:HappyNewLife

So then I had this thought tonight. What if, when she comes back from the airport (week after next) and comes home (ack, that is in THIRTEEN DAYS), she comes home to a dark house. I will tell her that I can''t be at her place that night because of a delivery or something the next morning. What if, in her back yard, and she will see it as there are four walls of glass sliders on the back side of her home, there are little (battery operated) tealights that write out ''Will You Marry Me''? Her back yard is a big square gravel-covered area that would be level and perfect. (plan B if it rains??? guess I put 200 tealights into ziplock bags and do it anyway? ha)

I like the tea lights idea. Wouldn''t it be perfect if there''s music to go with it? Her favourite song or a meaningful song? I think that''s very romantic. You should check the weather before hand.

Maybe you can have romantic notes around the house leading her to the backyard. At that time, you can stand beside the ''Will you Marry me'' tea lights with the ring in your hand? How does that sound? I wish my FF will do that, but he''s not romantic. Oh well!

I like the idea of adding the romantic notes and music.

 

[susimoo]

I think your idea with the tealights sounds adorable!

Good luck! I am very excited for you and please, let us know how it goes!!

I know she is shy but could we get a wee pic of the ring?

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

I love the tealights idea, but the only thing I''d suggest is that you don''t tell her you won''t be at her place, just in case she makes any plans to meet up with friends, or decides to chill out at the movies or something. Can you imagine the stress of waiting with your lovely proposal and your future fiance taking her sweet time coming home!

Maybe tell her you can''t meet her at the airport but you''ll see her at her place? Car trouble or something...

Or just have the ring box to hand and if a really intimate, special or romatic moment pops up over the next few weeks, grab it! My proposal was in a carpark in the pouring rain on the spur of the moment and it couldn''t have been more perfect.

Let yus know how it goes, and good luck!

Jen

 

[Nomsdeplume]

I like the idea of notes and rose petals, and then the tent with champagne... Maybe you can combine all of them?
Good luck and keep us updated..
Oh, and I also want to see a pic of the ring!

 

[blacksand]

Tea lights! If it rains, is there a room large enough for you to spell it out on the floor? Even if you rearrange the furniture a little? It sounds less romantic, but believe me, if I walked in and saw that on my living room floor, and my SO waiting there with a ring, I would absolutely pass out (I mean this in a good way; ha). Bottom line, though? It will be ten times more romantic than the proposal you received from your ex no matter what you do, because you''re with the right person this time.

 

[LadyBlue]

What about electric tealights?

 

[HappyNewLife]

thanks for your input ladies!

here''s the ring. She is not a girly girl, I''m the one who comes to this site and drools over solitaires. I took her to Tiffany &Co and she was bored, LOL. So I decided to just propose with a band. BGD is making the one below for me, with (our) two hidden birthstones on the inside of the band.

http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/diamonds/images/jewelry/rings/5435.jpg

sorry, I don''t know how to insert pictures.

 

[lulu]

I think the idea of the two hidden birthstones is very sweet. Good luck!

 

[Callisto]

Congrats on this big step! That ring will be beautiful.

I like the electric tealight idea, a room full of candles, while romantic, always makes me nervous haha. But also you don''t have to worry about it being windy or light rain or anything like that. I think a path of tealights from the front door to the backyard would be good too, maybe a love note on the front door as well.


I also second telling her you''ll meet her at her house as opposed to that you can''t see her. She''ll still be super surprised and it minimizes stress of her going elsewhere or anything.

Also someone mentioned rose petals. If you do do that, just don''t put them on any carpet. Even if they were dried, I wouldn''t want to risk staining it.

 

[dawnabee]

That is a very beautiful ring and the birthstones idea is great! very personal and you are sooo romantic no wonder why us women need to teach our men these great ideas lol

I love the tealights idea its really new and different but i also thing she will like it if you do something in the hotel room in SF.. if you need some more time to get everything ready you can take the idea with you! use elictric lights/candles and rose petals to spell it out and figure a way to get alone in the hotel room by yourself haha (she''ll prob just think your gonna surprise her but she def wont expect a proposal)

GL!! happy for your new life

 

[purselover]

Very pretty band!

I also love the tealights and everyone gave you some great suggestions to go with it so I just want to wish you luck!! Make sure you tell us how it went!

 

[HappyNewLife]

i still really love the San Fran idea and it gives me two more months to really put more thought and love into it.

What if I just brought like 60 red battery-operated tealights with me to SF and rather than spelling out WYMM I put them in the formation of a heart on the bed while she''s showering at night (I hope I can convince her to shower at night...)?

To spell out WYMM I will need about 200+ lights and that is going to fill up a whole suitcase!!

 

[HappyNewLife]

...not to mention i won''t have enough time to turn 200 lights on and spell it out in the amt of time it takes her to shower.... hmmmmmmmmm

 

[KittyGolightly]

Date: 4/16/2010 12:15:22 PM
Author: HappyNewLife
...not to mention i won''t have enough time to turn 200 lights on and spell it out in the amt of time it takes her to shower.... hmmmmmmmmm

I have a feeling that this might take longer than the time it takes to shower.

I love the idea of the tealights though. Very romantic.

I also really like the SF idea. If you take her out to dinner, you could ask the hotel staff to deliver some flowers and champagne to the room while you''re out.

 

[Erin]

Scenario #1
You bring the ring with you in your pocket while in SF and just wait for ''the right time'' if it presents itself. If it doesn''t it''s okay and you move on to

Scenario #2
On any night she is to arrive at home, decorate the backyard in battery tea lights, strands of Xmas lights, paper lanterns, tiki torches whatever. Have some wine chilled, have strawberries, chocolate, whatever is ''you two,'' be dressed up, perhaps music playing but not queued to a specific song. I wouldn''t overly plan it, but have enough romanance in the air to where when she walks through her door she''ll know something special awaits her.

 

[ms.halo]

Hmm...I''m going to go against the grain and say you should do something in San Francisco. There are TONS of places you can go by public transportation where you won''t get stranded. Plus, having lived in the city, I know there aren''t that many places where you can''t find a cab in a few minutes. Here are some suggestions, but keep in mind there are always people out and about in San Francisco. Just find a private spot and do it there:

1. Japanese Tea Garden (Golden Gate Park)
2. Arboretum (Golden Gate Park)
3. Coit Tower
4. Crissy Field (there''s a really nice trail there)
5. Ferry to Sausalito

I know there are a bunch of San Franciscans who frequent this site and maybe someone else will have an idea. What hotel are you staying in?

 

[Callisto]

I think if you went to SF you could probably think of an option that didn''t involve all the tealights that would still be romantic and secluded. What about at a winery? I''m sure they could arrange something secluded. Some other ideas:

-rent a sailboat ride for the two of you
-go to a Japanese tea garden or conservatory
-hot air balloon ride
-not sure if she''d like this if shes not especially girly, but an afternoon at a spa to get a couples massage and manicures... followed by a proposal somewhere at the spa. I''m sure you could find one with a beautiful garden that they could arrange for you to be in by yourself.

The tealights idea is beautiful and if that''s what you really want to do then definitely stick to it and make it work. But in a beautiful city like SF I feel like there''s so much there to create a good atmosphere, the tealights might just end up being a hassle if you''re worried about how to transport them and set them up, etc.

 

[Callisto]

haha ms.halo it looks like you and I are on the same train of thought. You just beat me too the punch. Great ideas though, I like the way you think

 

[ms.halo]

Date: 4/16/2010 1:32:07 PM
Author: Callisto
haha ms.halo it looks like you and I are on the same train of thought. You just beat me too the punch. Great ideas though, I like the way you think

HappyNewLife: Think about the Japanese Tea Garden. I think you''ll be able to find a very nice secluded spot there and then you can have tea afterward to celebrate. It''s really a lovely spot. Here''s a link where you can see pictures link

 

[dragonfly411]

I love the tealight Idea! Good luck and congrats on finding that special one

 

[HappyNewLife]

thanks again everyone! I''m now leaning towards SF again. I''m such a girl... Always changing my mind, LOL! I think I need those 2 extra months to get my nerves under control!

Thanks for all your help-- I will check out the tea gardens!

 

[misskitty]

The tealight idea is super cute, but I can totally see how packing them into a suitcase might be impractical.

I like these ideas:

Date: 4/16/2010 1:24:39 PM
Author: Starset Princess
Scenario #1
You bring the ring with you in your pocket while in SF and just wait for ''the right time'' if it presents itself. If it doesn''t it''s okay and you move on to


Scenario #2
On any night she is to arrive at home, decorate the backyard in battery tea lights, strands of Xmas lights, paper lanterns, tiki torches whatever. Have some wine chilled, have strawberries, chocolate, whatever is ''you two,'' be dressed up, perhaps music playing but not queued to a specific song. I wouldn''t overly plan it, but have enough romanance in the air to where when she walks through her door she''ll know something special awaits her.

Best of luck, I''m sure the moment will be special no matter how it happens

 

[PumpkinPie]

beautiful ring - and I think your idea of tealights in the backyard is so sweet Ditto on the idea of having music playing, and maybe her favourite dessert/champagne/other favourite treats would be great too. She''s a lucky girl!

 

[lightningbug]

Date: 4/16/2010 2:05:30 AM
Author:HappyNewLife
...but I thought this might be the best area for feedback (vs. the proposal forum)... this is long, sorry.
We won't be renting a car (it will be suspicious if I do), so we won't exactly want to take a cab to the beach and then potentially get stuck there.

Backing up a bit (SORRY - ) ~ I just wanted to clarify that you won't want to take a cab to the beach, anyway. From any BART station you can easily hop onto the Outbound N/Judah streetcar and ride it all the way out to Ocean Beach. You can walk up the beach to the Sutro Baths/Seal Rock and the Cliff House (a stunning lookout point and fancy, celebratory restaurant) ~ it's about a mile. You could also take the 38 bus, which is not romantic(!) but is closer. It could be cool and windy (June is tricky weather out here), but if it's sunny and warm, it would be spectacular.

Or...from Union Square you could easily take her up to Coit Tower, at the top of Telegraph Hill, and propose there. The view is AMAZING and its easy to find privacy. Then you could walk down to a cute little Italian restaurant in North Beach (we love Trattoria Contadina) ~ it's about half a mile, stopping at City Lights bookstore along the way. Lots of history, North beach is charming, and you could easily grab a cab back.

Or...you could visit Grace Cathedral, which is AMAZING and also very inclusive and warm and welcoming to all people. Afterward you could walk 1/2 block east to the Mark Hopkins hotel and and have a drink at the Top of the Mark (a bar at the top that has an incredible view when it's clear).

Or...you could give in and rent a car for one day and drive up to Muir Woods, or up to Sonoma, or Napa, where it will be warm and sunny.

Or.... Ok, I'll stop.

I just had to say that there are TONS of amazing and private-ish places in the Bay Area to pop the question and celebrate afterward. This is the most romantic city in the world, besides Paris. You can get many/most places w/ public transport. But no matter what you decide, good luck, have tons of fun, and congratulations!

PS ~ FI just walked into the room, and he seconded Seal Rock/Sutro Baths + Cliff House. (But he proposed to me in Sonoma, which was fantastic.) Yay!!!!!!

ETA the Japanese Tea Gardens definitely would be a great choice, too.

 

[Callisto]

ligtningbug your ideas are so great!

All of these romantic San Francisco ideas are making me want to go to California!!!! HappyNewLife I''m super jealous now that you''re going there this summer haha. I wish I had more money for vacations...

 

[oddoneout]

I really like the ring. It''s very sweet to add the birthstones.

 

[HappyNewLife]

TY so so much lightningbug! I definitely decided to wait til we get to SF to propose and am taking all your suggestions into account. I think I''ll see if "Enterprise will pick me up" so we can get a car for a day and I can either take her to Napa for wine tasting or maybe even a hot air balloon ride (something she told me yesterday she''s always wanted to do).

FUN!