I know I shouldn''t let it bother me, but...

[Tuckins1]

Ok, this might sound silly, but it definitely bothers me. Here''s the story...

My husband and I went out with some friends the other night. He was talking with one of our friends (and I didn''t catch the beginning of the conversation) but as I walked up I heard her say "I wouldn''t say something like that in front of your girlfriend, don''t tease me like that in front of my boyfriend". Ummm... GIRLFRIEND!?! WE"RE MARRIED!!!! I just looked at her and said "Yeah, i''m his wife." We all just continued on with conversation and it wasn''t a big thing at that time... But it''s really irritating me! I know she didn''t mean anything by it, she''s just the kind of person who is a little ditzy, she kind of has a hard tine filtering things that come out of her mouth. I asked my hubby why he didn''t say something, and he said he was barely listening to her in the first place, so he didn''t hear her. She is really nice and definitely was not being snarky... But it still pisses me off! Am I just being silly? Anyone else had a similar experience?

 

[sklingem]

Well - did she know you guys were married?? If not, why should she assume that the two of you are? If I personally do not know, then I err on the side of caution - assuming that people are NOT married. Then again I would pry refer to someone''s "partner".

 

[jcarlylew82]

thats okay...at least she didnt refer to you as his
(pick one of the below)
sister
mother
aunt
grandmother
therapist

Some people do speak with their foot in their mouths at all times. i know i do it.

on the flip side, i get pissed if someone calls me E''s "friend".

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 12/22/2008 10:09:42 AM
Author:Tuckins1
Ok, this might sound silly, but it definitely bothers me. Here''s the story...

My husband and I went out with some friends the other night. He was talking with one of our friends (and I didn''t catch the beginning of the conversation) but as I walked up I heard her say ''I wouldn''t say something like that in front of your girlfriend, don''t tease me like that in front of my boyfriend''. Ummm... GIRLFRIEND!?! WE''RE MARRIED!!!! I just looked at her and said ''Yeah, i''m his wife.'' We all just continued on with conversation and it wasn''t a big thing at that time... But it''s really irritating me! I know she didn''t mean anything by it, she''s just the kind of person who is a little ditzy, she kind of has a hard tine filtering things that come out of her mouth. I asked my hubby why he didn''t say something, and he said he was barely listening to her in the first place, so he didn''t hear her. She is really nice and definitely was not being snarky... But it still pisses me off! Am I just being silly? Anyone else had a similar experience?

I don''t know if the girlfriend part would bother me as much as what the rest of that sentance was comprised of.

"I wouldn''t say something like that in front of your girlfriend, don''t tease me like that in front of my boyfriend"

That sentance seems "off" IMHO. Unless they were in a large group of friends then maybe everyone was being silly. But with a one on one convo, that sentance would have left a sour taste in my mouth.

 

[Tuckins1]

Yes, she absolutely knows we''re married... We''re friends! And, the comment my husband had made was something about her being a dork, or a nerd, or something like that, so it wasn''t anything off color. I know it''s a silly thing to be stuck on, but I earn my MRS degree, ya know! I love being Mrs.______!

 

[ckrickett]

Date: 12/22/2008 11:11:56 AM
Author: Tuckins1
Yes, she absolutely knows we''re married... We''re friends! And, the comment my husband had made was something about her being a dork, or a nerd, or something like that, so it wasn''t anything off color. I know it''s a silly thing to be stuck on, but I earn my MRS degree, ya know! I love being Mrs.______!

OK good!
I was alittle thrown off but I''m glad to hear it was all in good fun!
As for you being upset that she called you his girlfriend, I would be upset too. You paid your "dues", you waited you guys got married. You are hi wife. i agree you should be called his Mrs. and not a Miss.!
(does that make sense)?

 

[applequeen]

At least it wasn''t your husband who referred to you as his "girlfriend"

My husband kept introducing me as his "girlfriend" for the first couple of months after we got married... I would usually just smile and say something like "Please don''t mention meeting me to his wife if you ever meet her". The person would look horrified but then my husband would explain his mistake and we''d all have a good laugh. Usually (if the person was married they''d have a similar story from their newlywed days)

I think it''s because we only had a 2 1/2 month engagement... we went from boyfriend/ girlfriend to husband/ wife so quickly it was easy to get confused. I don''t really feel like I ever had a "fiance".

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 12/22/2008 11:36:40 AM
Author: applequeen
At least it wasn''t your husband who referred to you as his ''girlfriend''


My husband kept introducing me as his ''girlfriend'' for the first couple of months after we got married... I would usually just smile and say something like ''Please don''t mention meeting me to his wife if you ever meet her''. The person would look horrified but then my husband would explain his mistake and we''d all have a good laugh. Usually (if the person was married they''d have a similar story from their newlywed days)


I think it''s because we only had a 2 1/2 month engagement... we went from boyfriend/ girlfriend to husband/ wife so quickly it was easy to get confused. I don''t really feel like I ever had a ''fiance''.

Lol... I remember how weird it was when we first got married. We haven''t really hung out with this girl much until recently... There is a long back story, which i''ll spare you, but they were friends from high school, and I met her years ago. We just kind of re-connected recently, so she''s probably just not used to seeing him as "married". I''m glad to see that i''m not the only one with weird.funny stories like this!

 

[J-in-B]

I don''t know, you might just take this too seriously. I don''t think this was supposed to be a comment about your marital status at all, or that she was making a comment about you as a person. She might have just been a little upset that your husband called her a dork in front of her significant other. So this was about the concept of the "offender''s" significant other, and since she was referring to her own situation, she said "girlfriend" instead of wife. I hope that makes sense.

Maybe it would make you feel better if, in your mind, you add two words to that comment:
I wouldn''t say something like that in front of your girlfriend, hypothetically speaking, don''t tease me like that in front of my boyfriend.

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 12/22/2008 11:53:04 AM
Author: J-in-B
I don't know, you might just take this too seriously. I don't think this was supposed to be a comment about your marital status at all, or that she was making a comment about you as a person. She might have just been a little upset that your husband called her a dork in front of her significant other. So this was about the concept of the 'offender's' significant other, and since she was referring to her own situation, she said 'girlfriend' instead of wife. I hope that makes sense.


Maybe it would make you feel better if, in your mind, you add two words to that comment:

I wouldn't say something like that in front of your girlfriend, hypothetically speaking, don't tease me like that in front of my boyfriend.

Yeah, you're probably right. (Although she did gesture toward me with her hand when she said "girlfriend") I'm not even going to say anything more about it to anyone... It's just a silly little thing that stuck in my brain for some reason. I'm just so proud to be my hubby's honey.

 

[fieryred33143]

I would have been annoyed by it too. It''s one thing to be called a girlfriend when you are a fiancee. But to be called a girlfriend when married

 

[musey]

Eh, it was probably a slip. People refer to me as his "girlfriend" all the time, even though they''re fully aware that we''re married (they were at the wedding! One person that keeps doing it was his best man!! haha). Not a big deal.

It doesn''t make you any less his wife, and she didn''t say it as a slight or insult. Don''t worry about it!

 

[laurel25]

Date: 12/22/2008 2:28:49 PM
Author: musey
Eh, it was probably a slip. People refer to me as his ''girlfriend'' all the time, even though they''re fully aware that we''re married (they were at the wedding! One person that keeps doing it was his best man!! haha). Not a big deal.

It doesn''t make you any less his wife, and she didn''t say it as a slight or insult. Don''t worry about it!

I agree 100% - I don''t think that anything negative was meant by it, and it doesn''t change your status as "wife". I wouldn''t worry about it.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 12/22/2008 2:28:49 PM
Author: musey
Eh, it was probably a slip. People refer to me as his ''girlfriend'' all the time, even though they''re fully aware that we''re married (they were at the wedding! One person that keeps doing it was his best man!! haha). Not a big deal.

It doesn''t make you any less his wife, and she didn''t say it as a slight or insult. Don''t worry about it!

I agree. I know I make slips all the time about friends new last names and what they legally are in relation to each other.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

How long have you been married? If you recently (within the last year or so) tied the knot, it can just be a slip of the tougne that caused her to this. Sometimes if you''ve refered to someone as one thing for a long while, the tradition can be rocky one...

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 12/22/2008 3:29:35 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
How long have you been married? If you recently (within the last year or so) tied the knot, it can just be a slip of the tougne that caused her to this. Sometimes if you''ve refered to someone as one thing for a long while, the tradition can be rocky one...

We''ve been married for 1 1/2 years... But like I said, we only just started hanging out with her again, so i''m sure it was just a slip. She''s really nice, so I won''t worry about it. (There are some other girls I know that I wouldn''t be so forgiving for!)

 

[fuzzers]

A furniture sales lady thought SO and I were brother and sister, and that he was married to his sister-in-law.

These things happen.

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 12/22/2008 4:40:33 PM
Author: fuzzers
A furniture sales lady thought SO and I were brother and sister, and that he was married to his sister-in-law.

These things happen.

OMG, LOL!! Too funny...

 

[LaraOnline]

I personally refer to myself as my husband''s girlfriend... he always corrects me and reminds me that I am his ''wife''. Stuffy old fellow he is!

I don''t see why she should have to make herself and her relationship ''less'' than yours just to make you feel correctly attended to. She was trying to make a point to your husband about respecting her and her relationship, after all.

You know you are married, your husband knows as well - and so does your friend. If you have good relations with the girl, I don''t honestly know why you should let it bother you.

Boyfriends and girlfriends have more fun!

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 12/22/2008 8:56:54 PM
Author: LaraOnline
I personally refer to myself as my husband''s girlfriend... he always corrects me and reminds me that I am his ''wife''. Stuffy old fellow he is!

I don''t see why she should have to make herself and her relationship ''less'' than yours just to make you feel correctly attended to. She was trying to make a point to your husband about respecting her and her relationship, after all.


You know you are married, your husband knows as well - and so does your friend. If you have good relations with the girl, I don''t honestly know why you should let it bother you.


Boyfriends and girlfriends have more fun!

There is quite a sordid back story here... Which is why we haven''t hung out with this girl in about 3 years or so... So that''s why it bothered me. Not because I wasn''t being attended to properly. And my husband was joking with her, and she with him. She wasn''t actually mad or upset, they were kidding around.

 

[MissDimity]

Ok, I have sometimes slipped with girlfriend in front of people who are married, but i think it is because I knew them as a couple before they were married so would call them "Skinny''s girlfriend" etc, and the habit has stuck. Silly Me.

 

[AdiS]

Tuckins, I really wouldn''t let that bother me if I were you.
My hubby actually introduces me as his lover sometimes and I find it extremely amusing! Well, people look at me funny afterwards, but who cares.

And he keeps calling me Miss instead of Mrs cause I "don''t look old and shabby" (quote! lol)
You said that she wasn''t trying to be snarky, so I''d just let it go.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 12/22/2008 10:09:14 PM
Author: Tuckins1
There is quite a sordid back story here... Which is why we haven''t hung out with this girl in about 3 years or so... So that''s why it bothered me.

Yeah, I hear ya. When there''s a ''back story'', anything will make you grind your teeth, hey!

 

[Tuckins1]

Lol... Yeah... It''s no biggy though. I guess I am just really into being "the mrs." right now. (Plus, she might be just a tad jealous, which makes me just a tad happy)

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 12/23/2008 10:27:42 AM
Author: Tuckins1
Lol... Yeah... It''s no biggy though. I guess I am just really into being ''the mrs.'' right now. (Plus, she might be just a tad jealous, which makes me just a tad happy)

haha that''s funny! (the jealousy bit)
being just married is really, really great. I would prefer to hear ''Mrs'' too, if I was recently married. It''s such a nice feeling. *sigh*
Now that I''m a mum of two kids, with another on the way, I really honestly do feel like a Mrs. A tired Mrs. That''s probably why it doesn''t bother me so much if I''m mistaken for a hot new date.

Have a great Chrissy!

L.

 

[Tuckins1]

Merry Christmas to you too! Congrats on the (almost) new addition!

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

It''s fine to notice it for yourself since you are really enjoying being "the wife," but I''d think someone was a bit crazy if they actually got visibly upset or corrected someone for a minor mistake like that. People tend to call significant others the same title as they currently hold themselves. For example, when we hang around a lot of married people, I get lumped in with "the wives," but when we hang out with all unmarried people, I''m with "the girlfriends". Nobody means anything by it - they''re just not wasting a lot of brain time on correctly labeling my relationship to my fiance. I think it''s a silly thing to care about as long as it is not a meant as a slight.

Now if someone referred to me as his girlfriend on purpose while hitting on him... you better believe my left hand would be gently laid on top of his faster than he could say, "Have you met my fiancee?"

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I''ve been married for just over a year and still sometimes call my husband my boyfriend. Just last month he introduced me to a friend as his "girlfriend" and to be honest it was funny. Old habits die hard, but I never cared about the titles, so I don''t even think twice about it. I have a feeling the back story might make the situation more sensitve, but it sounds like he knows how important it is to you now.

 

[Tuckins1]

You ladies definitely know how to make me feel better about stuff! Thanks so much for your comments... Helps me put things into perspective!