I need reassurance!

[les12]

Well, I have only posted here on PS once or twice, and I am still not yet engaged. My boyfriend and I have picked out a gorgeous ring that I absolutely LOVE and I can''t wait to wear it! It''s a beautiful art deco ring with a 1.4 ct round center stone, surrounded by several baguettes, more diamonds, sapphires, etc. It''s a pretty substantial ring, especially for my 4.5 size finger. It''s been a while since I last saw it and I have one blurry picture of it on my phone, so I don''t remember exactly what it looks like. (thats a good thing though, it will make the proposal more surprising!) When I first tried on the ring, I instantly fell in love, I kept trying on other rings but always came back to this one. So anyway, I have been thinking more and more about it and I have a few concerns...

My boyfriend and I are young, we just finished college and he landed an amazing job which pays very well, has great benefits, and came with a pretty hefty signing bonus (some of which was used to purchase most of the ring). The ring has been paid for in cash, and it was what I consider to be expensive. I know that I shouldn''t worry what other people think, but I''m sure there will be many people who believe that the ring is far too expensive, and the money would have been better spent elsewhere. I''m worried I''ll be self-conscious around certain family members and I feel like I''ll need to defend myself and my boyfriend for our choices to purchase this ring! Am I crazy?? Does anyone else think things like this? I guess a lot of you aren''t engaged yet either so you haven''t had to wear the ring in front of people you feel might think this way.

So, reassure me that we are doing the right thing!! I have no intentions of EVER changing my ring, it is perfect for me and I still can''t believe I am getting my dream ring the first time around! Am I over-reacting about this?? And, what''s a good way to react to people who obviously think that you shouldn''t be wearing the ring you are wearing?

...I really hope this post makes sense, I feel like I just rambled for a while...

 

[Bia]

Honestly, it''s no ones business what your BF (or you for that matter) does with his money, so anyone one daring enough to criticize needs to be brought down to reality. Learn how to do that now because you''re going to get a lot of unsolicited ''opinions'' in your lifetime. All you have to say is, "He/I/We are very happy with our choice and I couldn''t be more in love with my ring, or my fiance." Or something to that effect...you get the gist.

Try not to let it bother you

Congratulations! Can''t wait to see that ring.

 

[Magpie09]

Date: 7/28/2009 10:17:04 PM
Author: Bia
Honestly, it's no ones business what your BF (or you for that matter) does with his money, so anyone one daring enough to criticize needs to be brought down to reality. Learn how to do that now because you're going to get a lot of unsolicited 'opinions' in your lifetime. All you have to say is, 'He/I/We are very happy with our choice and I couldn't be more in love with my ring, or my fiance.' Or something to that effect...you get the gist.

Try not to let it bother you

Congratulations! Can't wait to see that ring.

Ditto

Also as long as you and your BF can afford the ring and in cash no less then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. Who are they to tell you what you can and can't buy with you or your BF's money. If you are both happy with the ring and it's affordable for you both then that's all that matters.

Congratulations on finding your dream ring.

 

[jaylex]

I can kinda relate to what you are going through.. Since Bf and I started dating 4 years ago, his mom has been making sarcastic/snide comments like "you''re gonna have to buy her a BIG rock...!" and things like that. It''s not like I''m spoiled or materialistic or anything.. she''s just purely jealous.. and she doesn''t even KNOW about our ring yet.. BF bought me a .81 RB solitaire... and not that that''s a huge size in pricescope terms, especially when compared to your 1.4 beauty, but in real life it''s quite substantial... bigger than our mothers/coworkers/friends diamonds.. I know that someone is bound to say something to us about the price of it. But if bf had gotten me any other ring just because he was worried about what his mother or someone would say, I know he would have regretted it because he would have been bending to please everyone else.

Your engagement ring is special between you and your bf.. It is a symbol of his commitment to/and love for you.. It has nothing to do with what your friends or family members like. If someone told you after seeing your ring that they hate Round stones, and that they think you should have gone with a marquise, would you feel any different about your diamond? probably not. try to think of it like that.

I agree with what bia and magpie said. It''s not their business. Don''t feel like you have to defend your ring. You are the one who will be wearing it, not anyone else. All that matters is that you (and your bf) love it. Anyone who says anything about it is most likely jealous so take their snide comments worth a grain of salt. And don''t feel like you have to give an answer if someone asks you about it''s price.. Just say that you aren''t sure but that you know your bf worked very hard for it and you love it.. or you can just smile politely and tell them you don''t know..
Carat Weight, shape, cut, clarity, or color.. your relationship, your decision.
I can''t wait to see a pic of your ring! It sounds beautiful!

 

[iota]

I''d love to see your ring (I''m sure you wouldn''t mind seeing it soon too).

I think I understand what you''re feeling though. My mom''s instilled in me a love of diamonds. PS has exacerbated that passion. What I''m thinking of getting is probably at least twice the carat weight of what most of my close circle has gotten or will get. My bf and I haven''t bought the ring yet but I am starting to feel concerned that I might feel like it''s too large for everyday wear, less so around my closer circles, but more so around people I don''t know as well or even strangers.

Have any of you other ladies felt that? I love diamonds and of course, I''m sure I''ll love my ring and wear it proudly. However, I''m just a teensy tiny bit worried that it''ll attract so much attention that I''ll feel too self-conscious to wear it all the time.

 

[gwendolyn]

It is nobody''s business but yours and your boyfriend''s how much of your money is spent on whatever. We used my great-grandmother''s engagement ring so have paid nothing yet, but that hasn''t stopped people from making comments about us and our finances--and this ring is only about half a carat, compared to my dream ring (which we''ll be saving up for a long time to get) which will be over a carat. So who knows what they''ll say then! But at the end of the day, it''s how we feel about it that''s important. If other people are going to use it as an excuse to judge you and your finances, that says much more about them than it does about you.

 

[ckrickett]

To repeat what the other lovely ladies have said it is nobody's business, this is between you and your fiance.
What I should commend you on is paying for your ring in cash. You and your fiance have a good head on your shoulders because alot of times women go pick out a huge rock that they can't afford but justify it by financing it forever. So good job!

.

Enjoy your lovely ring, can't WAIT to read an awesome engagement story and see plenty of handshots!!!

(also I'm not knocking financing, I just think alot of people abuse it and get themselves into trouble)

 

[les12]

Thanks so much for all of the replies! I know that I need to stop worrying about what others think, I just started feeling slightly panicked all of a sudden. I know that most importantly everyone in our family will be very happy for us and excited that we are getting married. We have been together for over 7 years, so really we already feel a part of each others'' family. The ring is gorgeous (have I said that already

) and I am really excited about showing it off here! So far I haven''t seen anything like it on PS, and I know it''s definitely not everyone''s taste but I love it so much!! On a side note, the engagement I believe is taking place in just a few weeks!! I am thrilled and I thank you all again, I think I just needed a reality check!

 

[Indylady]

I think everyone has pretty much covered it, but I just wanted to give you a welcome!

 

[elrohwen]

I would try not to worry about it. You''re adults now and are able to make your own decisions about what you want to spend your money on. If people question the amount you spent, just say that you paid for it all in cash so it wasn''t a financial burden. It''s really none of their business and putting their minds to rest that you didn''t go into debt over it might help them move on.