I think I made a huge mistake...

[yarrmatey]

So today I went on my first dress shopping experience with my MOH. We went to several stores, and I saw several dresses that I liked - not loved, but could see myself wearing.

The last store we went to they were having a very large sample sale, and I found a dress that I really liked, but wasn''t exactly what I had pictured myself wearing in my head. It was on 80% clearance in perfect condition, and would only need minor alterations. I bought it. I really thought it was what I wanted as I was dancing around the store... and then I got home.

I''m not the kind of girl who doesn''t want her FI to see the dress, so I opened up the bag and showed him. Girls, I don''t think he likes it. He said nice things, but he was very unenthusiastic about it, and I could tell he was very surprised and made a comment how it was very different then what I told him I wanted. I put it on again in my room and tried dancing around, but I just couldn''t get as excited as I had been at the store. In fact, I''m upset that I didn''t stick to my original idea.

So obviously, there''s nothing I can do now except start dress shopping again. The dress itself is beautiful, it''s just not what I wanted and I think I was swayed by the sale price and knowing it wouldn''t be there to come back to. Sigh. I was so hoping I was done, and now I''ve wasted $500, and still have to dress shop (not a fun experience for me - I hate trying things on in general).

My wedding isn''t until October, so I''m going to let it sit in my closet for a month or so, and pull it out again to see if I feel any different, and then make a final decision. But I''m disappointed to say the least, and it''s only my own fault.

 

[cara]

It sounds more like your guy didn''t like the dress and THAT got you disappointed and second guessing yourself. Not that you should go with a dress that you aren''t thrilled with, whatever the reason, but I would definitely let it rest for a couple of days and look at it with a fresh set of eyes. (Maybe get a friend''s set of eyes as well.)

Let''s just say that I think the guy not seeing the dress has some practical side effects.

There is no rule that says you have to go with the style of dress you imagined BEFORE you tried any on. Right? This was your first dress shopping, and your FI objects ''cause it doesn''t match what you had described prior to trying anything on?

Many women like pictures of dresses on models that don''t look good on them. Many women think they want plain plain plain and it turns out they prefer a little decoration in person. Many women think they don''t want a big poofy skirt and it turns out they feel like a princess when they put one on... Or a woman loves elaborate lace and beading in pictures and it turns out to drown her in person.

Unless you have a lot of experience wearing fancy dresses, you may not know what looks good on you or what you actually like until you go try them on. I don''t know that you have messed up - but you should be excited about your wedding dress. So maybe more shopping for you, and no more sample sales. And maybe surprise the groom this time?

 

[surfgirl]

It sounds like he only saw the dress on the hanger, right? If so, dresses can look like utter crap on the hanger and look magnificent on YOU...We all know that story! So...if you''re that bummed out about it, try it on in full regalia and then let him see you in it...then see what he says. Or better yet, post a photo of you in it here so WE can see it too!

 

[Elmorton]

Maybe ask him about his reaction before you start dress shopping again. Sometimes I read DH wrong when it comes to stuff like that. DH saw my dress too (like your FI, he never saw it ON me, but he definitely saw pics in the wedding binder and btw, he STILL had an amazing reaction when I walked down the aisle). At one point he said "Sequins? I thought you hated sequins. It has sequins?! Can''t you take them off?!" The sequins were SUCH a no-big deal on the dress, but that liiiiittle detail was sortof a shock to him since I had very explicitly said I wanted a dress with NO beading or sequins of any type. Your FI might just be surprised at your choice because he had something different pictured. I would just talk it out and find out what the reaction was specifically in response to.

 

[misysu2]

Oh girl- I could have post your exact post verbatim about 4 months ago. I went home for the summer and bought a $250 dress from my first dress shopping trip because I''m indecisive and liked it. Then automatically realized I should''ve looked more. AND FI didn''t like it when I showed it to him. It was devastating!

I ended up looking more, and ended up with another dress I''m more comfortable with, but FI still isn''t crazy about, but by now he''s done giving me his opinions because he saw how hard I took the dress stuff.

You may as well look-- $500 isn''t out too badly, and if it''s an informal, you could sell it on Ebay or even to the prom croud. And if you find something better, you''ll feel better. Good luck!

 

[Gypsy]

Honey, why don''t you post some pics of you in it for us to see.

I could have written your post too... I''m a two dress bride about to alter the second dress to in effect make it into a third dress.

We''ll be honest. You KNOW I will.

 

[lauraannc]

I can relate. I purchased a dress in November and have been having second thoughts everyday. Its keeping me up at night. I spent over $900 on the dress. I was shopping with my Mom and sisters. They of course loved the dress and I think I got caught up in the moment of my Mother in tears and the "OO''s and Ahh''s" my sisters were making and bought the dress. My wedding date is April 5th, only two and a half months away. For me its too late to change my mind. Your idea of holding on to it (the dress) for another month and pulling it out is a good one. In the mean time go out and try on lots of different dresses and styles (take the closet dress with you) and compare. Hang in there and stay hopeful, things will work out.

 

[yarrmatey]

I''m going to put it on tonight and take some pics to send to my best friend (who lives in South Korea, so clearly he''s not dress shopping with me!) and I''ll post some then for everyone''s input. It still needs alterations (the top doesn''t fit the girls well) but I will appreciate all general comments for sure.

 

[bee*]

that''s definitely something that I can see myself doing! Definitely show us photos of the dress. Is there any way that you can alter the dress a bit into a style that you prefer? You''ve given me an extra reason why I''m not showing D my dress before the wedding.