Ideas Please! ... Honouring a birthday on our wedding day

[Independent Gal]

So, the partner of one of my BM''s is turning 40 on our wedding day. BM was pretty worried that he''d be upset and that she might not be able to come, but he claims he doesn''t care and would be happy to come to the wedding on his birthday. He apparently does not want to make a big deal out of being 40, and is feeling a bit ICK about it.

Sooo.... we don''t want to draw attention to it, because he''d probably be upset, but we also want to honour him and let him know that we remember it''s a special day for HIM too.

Some ideas we had so far... please help by adding yours! Then we''ll run them by my BM to see if she thinks he''d like them.

1) He loooooves butter tarts (?! but each to their own!) so we thought instead of the desert everyone else is getting, we could get the chef to make him one...

2) Leave a card with a certificate or some other flat, subtle present at his seat. Don''t want anything that would draw too much attention though.

Other thoughts or ideas to quietly make him feel thought of and cared for... ??

Ideas for ''flat'' unobtrusive type presents?

 

[labbielove]

are you having placecards for each person? you could put a nice personal note in one of those tiny cards/envelopes and put it onto the back of his placecard- or if you are having assigned seats, having something at his place when he gets there is a wonderful idea.

it is nice of you to respect his wish to make not a big deal of it- otherwise i would suggest doing what we did for my niece and nephews 13 and 21 bdays that were on our day- we brought them up and had everyone sing happy birthday- they were good sports, and the gifts we gave them probably made up for any embarrassment

i also love the special dessert idea- it would mean so much to him and nobody would have to know why.

 

[labbielove]

seeing the flat unobtrusive gift description brought another thought to mind-
you could make a fun CD of fave songs or photos,etc. and make a custom label.
not sure if he''s into that or not, but i did that fora college friend of all our old college party songs
and had a ball making the CD case cover with photos, clipart etc.
inexpensive and personal, she loves it!

 

[robbie3982]

Are they OOT? It was my aunt''s bday the day before the rehearsal. We were going to make up a gift basket and have it waiting at the hotel for her, but ran out of time and just ended up getting her a present which my mom gave her when she came over to the house.

 

[musey]

I love the idea of having your chef whip him up a fave dessert! I think it will be such a thoughtful nod. Sorry, I don''t have helpful suggestions to offer, but I just wanted to say that I think that idea is a great one!

 

[sumbride]

M''s cousin-in-law''s birthday was the day before our wedding... and and since it was an out of town wedding, she''d been traveling all day. Her husband asked if it would be ok to have the restaurant where we had our RD make her a cake. He didn''t want to interrupt the events but also wanted her to have a little something. Luckily we were all for it and tied it into the RD. The wedding is a little different though, and since he doesn''t want it to be a big deal, I think having a special dessert for him would be awesome. My brother''s wedding was on my cousin''s birthday, so the DJ played happy birthday for him... it all depends on what he would be ok with and what you''re ok with. If it''s a smaller, family and friend focused wedding, I don''t think it would be out of place at all.

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks for the ideas and advice, Gals!

He would definitely NOT be OK with us playing or singing happy birthday. I think we''ll go ahead with the special desert for SURE (cause who would object to that, right?) and we''ll definitely write up a special card thanking him for sharing his birthday with us and our wedding. And then closer to the date, I''ll ask my friend how she thinks he''s feeling about it, and whether we can announce it without embarassing him and maybe what he might like as a little present....

The CD idea would be so great, but I''d be so nervous about it with him specifically because for a living... he''s a sound engineer and a musician!

 

[Harleigh]

I think it''s a lovely sentiment that you want to let him know how much you appreciate spending his birthday with you on your special day. I would NOT do the singing of "Happy Birthday" if he has expressed a desire to not have this done...I would not appreciate that, either, but WOULD appreciate a subtle thank you, etc...

I think the special dessert sounds fabulous, btw!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I really think a card is adequate. They certainly can go out and celebrate his birthday on another day.

In fact, we went to a wedding on my hubby's birthday this summer. We went out to eat the night before for his birthday.

 

[ladyciel]

Mmmmmmmmmm, I LOVE butter tarts! I''ve found that most people in the states don''t know what they are, or if they''ve ever had one it''s been a so-so commercially sold one. My parents are from Canada, though, so my mom makes butter tarts from scratch every Christmas. I think presenting him with one is a great idea! At worst the people at his table will ask what it''s about, but depending on how you do your seating charts the people with him might already know the answer. Anyone else who notices from a distance will probably think it''s an inside joke or something.