If you lived in the United Kingdom?

[pyramid]

Just interested to know what you think you would do if you lived in the United Kingdom where the average engagement ring is about 0.33 carats and you absolutely LOVED diamonds, as we do, what size engagement ring would you choose to wear?

I realise if you were already engaged and moved here you would keep your own ring but would you wear it or get a smaller set.

I also think things would be different if you lived here as you would not have lived with the same engagement ring experience as you have in the USA or in other countries, although I think Australia is more like the UK as is Europe.

Would you feel comfortable getting a larger diamond if you were born and lived here and all your friends, family and aquaintances did not have such a ring?

I also think that many would just presume it was a cubic zirconia unless of course the person is known to be rich or have social standing in the community.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

That''s an interesting question, Pyramid. Having lived in London and Manchester as an American, I actually didn''t really notice people''s engagement rings. Then of course, at the time, I wasn''t really into diamonds like I am now.

I also think many of the people I interacted with just had plain wedding bands.

I was actually on a vacation to England when I got engaged, and my English friends oohed and aahed over my ring, which is a fairly modest .78ct. If I moved back to England (which I would LOVE to do), I''m sure I would keep wearing my ring, as it''s not a particularly eye-popping size. Now if I had a much larger ring that was clearly out of the ordinary, I might feel more self-conscious. Interestingly enough, when my British friends hopped the pond to come to my wedding, they were impressed that my wedding ring had diamonds and was platinum and lamented that their rings were "only" plain gold.

 

[IrishEyes]

Gosh, that''s a really good question! As an american who is obsessed with diamonds, if I moved to the UK now, I would keep what I have obviously and probably keep buying big diamonds when I went home to see my family or something. If I had always lived in UK and was used to the idea of smaller diamonds, I don''t know if I would want bigger ones - I would probably think they were overkill or something, too materialistic or something. I guess this leads into the whole "nature vs. nurture" thing - would it be in my nature to like bigger diamonds even if I lived in the UK/Europe, or would I be conditioned by my environment to just be accustomed to smaller ones and therefore, prefer them? I don''t know.....

Funny, when I was in Ireland a few months ago, everyone ooh and aahhed over my .75 princess. They thought it was so big and one woman said it was the most sparkly diamond she''d ever seen!

 

[ame]

Date: 8/16/2005 11:44:34 AM
Author:Pyramid

I also think that many would just presume it was a cubic zirconia unless of course the person is known to be rich or have social standing in the community.

And I would hope that most would think it was fake so I wouldn''t get robbed of it

Assuming Id moved there now Id still wear it just as much...or little...as I do now. I don''t know what Id do if I lived there my entire life though.

 

[cinnabar]

I am British and moved to America nearly two years ago.

My first engagement ring, bought in England in 1986, was a very modest centre emerald with two tiny diamonds, costing 250 pounds.

I got divorced and married again in 2003; this time we got the e-ring in the US. Even though we could have afforded a bigger diamond, I would not be comfortable wearing anything over 1ct. That goes for living in the UK or US, it''s just my British mindset.

 

[pyramid]

Thank you to everyone who replied. I just don''t know what to do, I want a bigger sized diamond but wonder if I will not wear it because people will think I am too conceited or I have wasted money or something.

 

[msb700]

Pyramid: i believe in the end of the day it doesn''t matter what other ppl think, but what you are most comfortable wearing. If you have your heart set on getting a larger sized diamond than what is average in ur area, then go for it! It is what *you* want, and how *you* would feel wearing the ring...

In the end of the day ppl who know u would realize that u are not trying to be gaudy or show off, it is only a matter of preference and what you like and would understand what values you have...

good luck and plz share with us once u''ve made a decision...

 

[AGBF]

Date: 8/17/2005 9:54:15 AM
Author: Pyramid
Thank you to everyone who replied. I just don''t know what to do, I want a bigger sized diamond but wonder if I will not wear it because people will think I am too conceited or I have wasted money or something.

What you should do is different from what I would do! You live in the UK and you have to make your choices based on what makes you comfortable and happy. I am not attempting to evade the question of what one should do when pulled in different directions by the forces of what one likes and what society considers appropriate. I am just trying to clarify that asking what I would do may not have any bearing on what you should do! I have to react to the pulls of my desires and the pressures of society in a way that suits my emotional needs and you have to do it in a way that suits yours.


In my case, there would be no issue. I wear only a plain gold wedding band almost all the time. Even in the United States where it is less unusual to have a diamond engagement ring that is larger than 1/3 carat or so, I am happy with wearing only my wedding band. I know that I am in the minority among Pricescope members, however. I know most members enjoy wearing their diamond rings (at least their "left hand rings") all the time. That is why I am saying that what suits me is no guide to what would suit you.

Deborah

 

[Lorelei]

Doesn''t worry me as a Brit, I compromise a lot for my diamonds as they are the most important material "things" to me. I am a rarity being as diamond addicted as I am

but I don''t honestly bother about what other people think - if they wonder if my diamonds are real because they are larger than average, as long as I am happy that is what is important. However I agree Pyramid, it is very different over here. People probably do think they are fake, seeing me with straw sticking out of my hair, in my daily attire of jeans and wellies

 

[glitterkitty]

This is a really interesting topic. Rings with quality stones tend to be few and far between here in England, especially in the north where I live. People seem to feel that they have to go to one of the large ''quality'' chain jewellers, that are in reality over priced and very samey.

Since I got engaged 11 years ago, I have had a number of erings including a 1.74 rb in platinum and a 1.64 marquise also in platinum. I currently have quite a large sapphire and diamond cluster (in the coloured ering folder) that i wear, and which attracts comments fairly frequently. In fact, when I bought my new Tag watch, the assistant in the jewellers called her colleagues over to look at my ring. I am totally comfortable wearing a larger than average ring, (for the UK) and to be honest I love it when people comment on it. I always compliment people with stunning rings, and I love to see big rocks on show.

You should get whatever feels most comfortable for you and your way of life, and enjoy the pleasure it gives you when you look at it.

sorry to waffle on so much!

 

[ursulawrite]

I''m British and got engaged, age 24, to my American husband while living in London. Everybody made a huge deal about the size of my ring (1.3 solitaire, E, Round) -- and we''re talking people with second houses in Sussex and old Etonians. Only those who had spent time living, say, in NYC or Chicago understood that my ring is fairly conservative by urban American standards.

I feel/felt very comfortable wearing my ring in the UK, though I used to get plenty of people gawping at my ring finger (I also wear a 2.2 ctw eternity ring, so the effect can be quite dazzling). Some joked that my husband, a corporate lawyer, was actually mafia or something.

It''s funny, but a lot of my fellow workers -- trendy, media types -- would think nothing of dropping £400 on a pair of shoes or twice that for a handbag, but the whole diamond thing baffled them. To be honest, I''m not sure it will catch on in the same way in the UK. For one, we''re a staunch nation of co-habiters and two, many people are under the belief that huge diamonds are tacky and, well, a bit "chav" (google, if you need an elaboration

).

 

[jaysonsmom]

I'm one of those people who likes to fit in with the crowd, that being said, my 1.25 ct e-ring is very average around my area, not too big, not too small. If I were to move to any country other than the US, I'd probably just wear my wedding band, because I don't want to draw unnecessary attention to my posessions.


My sil recently spent the summer in Europe (her husband is Swiss), and she said that EVERYONE was gawking at her newly aquired e-ring. It's only .78 ct, not ostentatious by american standards, but it was exceptional quality (G color, H&A from GOG), and that's what everyone commented on. They said that they'd never seen such a beautiful diamond!


I forgot to add, though it doesn't pertain to UK or other European countries. The reason my mom gave me her diamonds was because my dad's career as a diplomat ended, and they are retired, and living in Taiwan. No one around her wears diamonds, so instead of locking her diamonds in a safety deposit box, she gave them to me

 

[mightyred]

Well as my friends in the UK would say, isn't everything bigger in America!!

In the UK you get a lot of different styles of ring and a lot more colour ..... thinks Princess Diana's Diamonds and Sapphire or Fergie's Ruby. So people are not so set on the diamond and it's size, more the design and what they like, that's just my experience from my friends and family.

I would say get whatever size you want....unless of course you are getting Paris Hilton sized diamonds in which case people may think you are just courting attention and as Ursulawrite said you would look a bit of a chav!

In the UK you can tell when someone is being flashy or has a quality piece of jewellery but doesn't feel the need to flash. Whatever you get wear it well

 

[diamondfan]

Pyramid, I have a perspective on this as my sister, an American, married a British man a and moved there couple years ago. She was divorced once and then engaged and called it off before she met her current husband. Both times before this marriage she had modest rings. My first ring was a 1.5 carat round. Then, I got an upgrade to a three carat emerald cut with two one carat side stones, and after seeing mine she mentioned that the next time she got engaged she did want a sizeable stone. Well, she got engaged, and all of a sudden had a small diamond band. No solitaire. When I quesitoned her about the change, she said since she was moving to the English countryside and no one there had big stones, she would not feel comfortable. She was clearly trying to fit in and not allowing for the fact that she is not English and should do what she wants. I said, be yourself, be real, and if you want a nice stone and he can get it for you, you should have it since that seems to be what you really want, and you should not let what others MIGHT think get to you. Of course, you should not flaunt and be obnoxious, but most people are not stupid and can tell a nice person from a not nice person, bling or no bling. Of course I got bitched out for saying it. Now, less than two years later...she has lived there and seen the lay of the land. I got, for my 40th and 15th anniversary, a significant upgrade. All of a sudden, after the whole speech about fitting in and no one would understand it etc, she now wants a 3-4 carat stone. Also, her husband''s daughter-in-law just got a two carat rb, and so now it is suddenly okay for my sister to walk around with more bling on than her. I believe in being true to yourself. If you move there and live in a safe area, it fits your lifestyle and can afford it, then have it. I think people need to get to know you and see your inside qualities before they make rash judgements about you based on something superficial like your jewelry. Of course, I also love bling, so I do not have a problem with it, and hope people are deciding if they like me based on me, and not on what i have or do not have...

 

[memsy]

Really interesting question! I have a friend, an American, who has been living in London w/ her now husband (they just got married 2 weeks ago), both working for US firms over there. He''s American too. They got engaged with a beautiful, large (3 carat) old european cut diamond- it was a family heirloom stone. It''s an absolutely incredible ring- and huge- the solitaire takes up her whole finger. She told me the following story- people in her office in London called this other girl''s engagement ring (which was somewhere b/n 1 and 2 carats, totally normal by NYC standards, where we are from), "the rock".. when she arrived, they called her "the rock" and downgraded the other girl to "the pebble"... my friend, being totally modest, was mortified.. her ring is gorgeous but she is considering getting something smaller, or wearing an eternity band only, just to avoid attention... interestingly, she may wait to see where they end up settling down for good before she decides on the size of her alternate ring...

oh, what i''d give for such problems!!

 

[pyramid]

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I would not be going for a diamond any larger than 1.5 carats, I have small hands and that would be the biggest stretch on my budget anyway.

I am not so much worried about strangers, although I do not want to look too out of place. I think it is more family and inlaws which I am most concerned with. I don''t want to get the ring and only wear it when I am not around family. I will probably get the size I want but just feel wary when I first wear it. Sort of wondering what their questions may be.