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If your not photogenic, should you spend on photos?

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allycat0303

Ideal_Rock
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Hey ladies,

So this weekend, we went to take engagement photos. Now I KNOW I am not photogenic. I really am not. Eyes closed etc., whatever, it doesn't work. So the photographer took 200 pictures of us 200! And there was 1 useable shot. And it's not even that good. We ended up buying 1 picture of us kissing (so you can't see my face) and one picture of my fiance alone (because he looked good in everything) and 1 of us together (which was passable).

MY guy was vetoing the pictures because they were so awful, and he actually said to me 'Baby, don't worry you are a lot prettier in real life.' ARGH! WHO WANTS TO HEAR THAT! This happens in ordinary posed pictures too. I have like 4 photos on facebook because they were the only good ones of me. I mean the pictures don't even look like me. I am unrecognizable. I somehow have a double chin which I don't have in real lfe! Weird stretched out smiles. My sister kept patting me on the back and saying, 'it's ok, you don't look like that in real life' (or maybe she was trying to console me....)

It seems as though when the photographer asks us to pose, I can't do it!

So last night, we discussed our wedding photos. My fiancé really wants videography, and he feels we can forgoe the pictures because the ceremony will be taped anyways, so why subject me to furthur humiliation and cost. And we figure that we would have a lot of pictures taken by my friends and family, which will be spontaneous, so hopefully less hideous.

Something irks me about paying so much for pictures when I will look bad, and my guy doesn't care about them. And I get really stressed out at the thought of going through that again. It was a pretty confidence busting experience.

PS. Oops speeled the title wrong. I am really stressed out about this whole pictures stuff.
 
OK, I am also hugely, hugely unphotogenic. I''m fairly attractive in person, but there are, maybe 3 photos in existence in which I don''t look like a crazed middle earth dwarf-ette. So I hear ya. In all our wedding shots so far except maybe 2, I look AWFUL. SIL, by contrast, looks great in every picture.

So, what did we do? Well, first, we didn''t really spend on photos. And secondly, we decided to not make the pics about us thinking we ought to look more like super-models, and instead think of the pics as a record of the day. So instead of "Wow, I look horrid in that picture!" I think "Wow, look how much fun everyone is having!"
 
Independent Gal, Bless your heart!! My sis looks amazing in every freakin photo, I don''t know why. There is not a bad picture of her in existence. My guy picked out the pics for my Facebook profile and said ''''These are the only ones which look like you in real life.'''' There''s 4-5 in existence.

I thought I was the only one with this problem. See I kind of figure that a record of the name will be taken care of with the video ya know? My guy is for veto the whole picture process. He agrees I look ugly in pictures. (I know that sounds awful, but it''s honest).
 
I think if you choose a photographer who isn''t going to be right in your face instructing you every minute you will be fine. There are reportage photographers who will shoot from a distance and get natural unforced photos.

I am sure your pictures will be lovely because you will be so happy!
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i can''t take posed pix either--i always either have my eyed closed, the smile morphs into a "who farted?" face, or chins mysteriously show up out of nowhere. i''ve noticed that the few pictures of myself that i like are all candids where i''m being silly, so when we looked for a photographer, we got one with a photojournalistic style instead of a traditional photographer (her site is hamletphotography.com if you want to check out some of her work). i think photographers who look through the lens with that mentality capture totally different pictures, and if you don''t do well with posed shots, this style could wind up with some truly beautiful pictures of you. i personally wouldn''t forego them altogether because a videographer is looking for action, so you won''t be getting so much of the still stuff, and i personally would want to remember what my cake looked like before i stabbed it or how my reception hall looked, etc. also, get a photographer who doesn''t put a limit on how many pictures they take. if they take 8000 pictures, you''re bound to love some of them! our photographer told us she''d click until her finger fell off, haha. just remember that a really great photographer can make anyone look great (case in point: google annie leibovitz--she''s made everyone from hillary clinton to the queen to even keith richards look beautiful). i wouldn''t let a few bad pictures get me down if i were you--you''ll be absolutely beautiful on your wedding day regardless of the medium used to capture the moment!
 
I used to be photogenic, then... well, I gained weight.

I made sure our photographers KNOW my concerns and will take special care to have one person shooting most things from a distance most of the time, and for closeups, to take 1000s of pics so I can get ONE usable one.
 
Wow, glad to know I''m not the only one that cannot take a decent picture! Even though my wedding is not for awhile, I''m already worried about how the photos will turn out. FI and my problem is actually pretty funny. Alone, we both seem to manage to look ok in pictures, it is only when we attempt to take a picture together as a couple that we both look ridiculous! I think Independent Gal has the right approach. Honestly, all you really need are a few good shots to remember the day anyway, so all the ones that don''t look good don''t really matter. Or at least that''s what I''m telling myself
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Look for a photographer who does photojournalism - we have very, very few posed photos from our wedding. If your photographer is more concerned with capturing moments and details, you might find that you look "more like you" because the pictures will be more like a still frame of a video instead of looking for posed, smiley faces. One of my bridesmaids is very pretty, but in posed photos, she tends to have her eyes closed OR has a look of complete shock on her face (seriously - you should see our pics from prom. BAD). My photog caught her in such pretty ways on my wedding day at times when she didn't notice a picture was being taken. Plus, you get these fabulously real smiles and emotions that are a total treasure and keepsake.

If you contact your local newspaper, the photography dept might be able to point you to some freelancers who also do weddings.
 
I understand. As far as I know, there are 10 pictures of me in existance from the 7 years that were middle and high school and all but one of those is BAD.
I did two things that helped so eventhough I am not photogenic, I am atleast me now. The first was making faces in a mirror and having my FI take pictures. It helped me feel what my face should look like in pics.
The other was to pose nude for an artist. That may be out there, but it is a lot harder to be shy around a camera in a happy situation when you did ok in a potentially emberessing one. You might find something silly or embaressing to catch on film, for me it really did make things easier. You might consider boudouir photos for your FI.
 
Also we are doing an engagement session to make us more confortable being followed around by photgraphers. Ours are mixed style photojournalistic so like I said, about half the pics will be from completely unaware and unguarded moments.
 
I suffer from uphotogenicism as well. There are very few posed wedding pictures I like.

Like others have suggested, I would definitely tell your photographer that you want to focus on unposed pictures. In my first meeting with my photographer I made it very clear that I didn''t want any posed "looking into the sunset lovingly" photos and he completely understood. Did I get some anyway? Yeah, but only a couple. Photographers are great about blending into the crowd so you never know they are there or are even taking photos. I think those types of photos will be your best bet.
 
I hear you, Ally! In about 2 photos out of 3 I have my eyes closed. On the 3rd photo I''m making a weird face or I''m holding myself strangely. Of all the pictures taken at my high school prom, only one looks good and it''s NOT the professional pictures (those were horrid, even my mother thought they were bad!). For our engagement pictures shooting, my brother must have taken 100 pictures... Only 2 are good, and one of them in from so far away you can barely see our faces (I used it for my current avatar). I could go on and on... My point is, I''m just not photogenic, and I have no idea why my eyes are closed so much.

I wasn''t thinking about that fact before; our photographer is already booked and an old colleague of mine will be doing the video for free. I did start worrying about my "un-photogenic-ness" last month when we went to get my dress... My uncle''s FI is a photographer and she came to take pîctures, and there were a lot of closed-eyes pictures... So she said "be careful not to have your eyes closed so much on your wedding pictures!" Er, how am I supposed to do that?

So I''m a little panicked now (although the fatc that we''re 4 months out tomorrow and that I have finals in less than 2 weeks doesn''t help), and I''ll definitely have to talk with our photographer about this. We were lucky enough to find someone who does great work for a fraction of what other photographers are charging so... I guess we''ll see how it goes. He says he plans on taking 250+ pics, so hopefully we''ll have 4 or 5 that look nice!

If you''re so worried about it, try to find a photographer that doesn''t charge a fortune. That way if you''re disappointed with the photos at least you won''t have paid a ton of money for them.

Good luck!
 
Date: 4/1/2008 1:56:18 PM
Author: Courtneylub
This thread is cracking me up because....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eZbkYrxPkI
That''s exactly what I thought of, too!

We have problems with pictures, too...but its more like if there''s one I look great in, he looks like a mutuant and vice versa. Also, I''m on the tall side, so people that take my picture are usually shorter than I am and I end up with unflattering "all neck" eyes looking down and squinty pics. Blah.

I think if niether of you want pictures, don''t get them. I would hope you''d at least have some digitals so that you have them for posterity. Video is great, but formats change and things get accidentally burned over, taped over, discs scratched, etc.
 
Ally,

You have look amazing in the pics that I have seen of you. Maybe you need a photographer that shoots the photojournalistic style so the shots are more candid and not posed.
 
I agree with everyone that suggests a photojournalistic style.

You don''t have to get a top photog, but I think its still worth it to get a good one. I''ve seen gorgeous pics of wedding details such as the flowers, ceremony site, reception setup etc. These are very nice to have, imho. Also, the photog will capture pics of family and friends. You will not have to be in every pic.

I really think that you will likely end up looking great in the wedding day pics because you''ll be so distracted that you won''t even notice that the photog is there.
 
I viewed some of the money we spent on photos as compensating for our unphotogenicness. Of course, our professional photographer was actually capable of getting good pictures of us at the same time. I was doubtful beforehand, but she did a good job, so for us it was worth it. Or, it would be worth it if I could just forget exactly how many 1000s of dollars it cost. The pictures (not thrown in the trash bin) were beautiful.

My husband tends to scrunch his face to one side when presented with camera. Its his special photo-smile, and when he manages once in a blue moon to have a normal smile in a picture, I usually have my eyes closed. There are whole years of our lives documented only with eyes-closed, face scrunched pictures. Somehow, the photographer managed to get enough good pictures of us to fill a wedding album.

You might change photographers or practice by doing another engagement session (think of it more as "learning not to drown" on camera rather than "humiliation".) But if you are really not down with spending the money on something you don''t appreciate and will find torturous to look at later, then go with the family and friends version. You probably woln''t have as complete documentation, and they might look very much like amateur point-and-shoot pics, but if you don''t appreciate a nice photo enough to spend the money on it, it will serve to document the day.

I don''t see a video as having the same role as still photos, however. One goes on your wall, one goes on your television. One is much more likely to be seen regularly, but clearly captures less of the live character of the event.
 
I''m definitely unphotogenic too. I know that we''re all much better looking IRL
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At our wedding, my uncle took me aside to tell me that so far I was looking as if I would be "returning to the Home" after the wedding. He didn''t have to tell me where the Home was.

I loved that man dearly because he and I had had so many laughs over the years. He was the only one of my relatives that I would have let away with saying something like that!
 
I''m the same. If I see the camera, I make weird faces even though I''m trying to smile nicely. My FMIL, when we first met, was trying to take a picture of me and got mad because she thought I was doing it on purpose! (She knows now, and we laugh about it!) We''re actually paying more for a highly recommended photographer who does reporter-style photography to try to get a couple of good ones. Keeping our fingers crossed! (BTW, my FH looks GREAT in every picture! SO not fair to him!)
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allycat0303 - I''m worried about this too...people often tell me I look mad, or that I''m frowning, when I''m not mad...my face does all kinds of things on its own...and my lips "scrunch up" all on their own. My fiancee has been pointing it out to me lately but even when he does, I cannot tell I''m doing it.

I think what Brazen said is a really good idea...to shoot pictures of each other so you can understand what your expressions translate into. The nude thing...I don''t know I''ll have to think about that one haha Maybe with a LOT of airbrushing afterwards haha

Gypsy, I like your idea a lot too...I know we''ll be meeting with the photographer when we get to Cabos...maybe we can do like an hour or two, just to feel more comfortable with him...
 
I am both unphotogenic AND camera shy. I rarely like photos of myself. I always think I look awful and end up nit picking. My husband actually gave me the best advice I can think of: when someone takes your picture, act like you deserve to be in it because you do. I think that advice can apply to ALL of you lovely, classy, trendy ladies.
 
Bensbride: Thank gawd you commented on the "upshots'' of a bride with photographers. When I was talking to a potential photographer on the phone the other day I said to him "I know you might think this a really strange question, but how tall are you?" He asked me if I was going to discriminate against him because of his height, and I starting laughing and told him "Maybe". But I depise when a really short photographer is always taking shots from underneath because it is NOT flattering unless you are a supermodel/superstar.

Allycat, Independent Gal is so right. This is your special day, and like it or not, there is a reason they write songs about "photographs and memories". Besides, there is no digital picture that can''t be retouched to enhance your look. You are not your photograph, and your happiness and spirit will be captured when you least expect it. When the love is captured, so is your radiance. And that is worth the price of the photographer. You don''t have to go all out and hire the most expensive, but you don''t want to have to watch an entire video everytime you want to recapture those memories.
 
Oh my god, I love the stories, especially the fart face
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. All of us unphotogenic ladies coming out of the woodwork, I love it!! I always felt a little silly being so nervous about it. I just feel like people in the future will be looking at the pictures and making judgements like 'oh why did daddy marry mommy, she looks like a pig?'

I've tried to look for 'photojournalism syle' which I have to be really honest... please no laughing ladies....but I am HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS! I always assume no posing. And I don't know any montreal photographers that advertise this.

Basically all the girls that got married in my class used phototerra (link provided) is that photojournalism? My issue is that I think it is WAAAAYYY expensive and the pictures I saw from them weren't that amazing. I mean the porfolio looks good but some of my friends wedding pictures look pretty ordinary.

I kind of looked at two other photographers, but no one I know has used them, so I don't know.They are both really expensive too (more then I want to pay for piggy pictures)

http://www.weddingpicture.info/ (phototerra)

http://www.tandemstudios.com/ (tandem) they actually say photojournalism on their website)

http://www.domphoto.com/master_frame.htm (less expensive but no one I know has used him)

http://www.atfirstsightstudio.com/english/portrait.html (very, very inexpensive)

Nclgrl: Oh I get you, the girl that was the photographer kept saying to my guy ''oh you look like an abercormbie model, so amazing, have you done this before??'' Compounded the humiliation I swear
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Aren't woman by right, suppose to look cute in pictures?
 
ally- my hubby has this problem as well. He just cannot make a normal face for a picture. It''s a VERY rare picture for him that actually looks like him in real life. So, our photogs were REAL photojournalists. That is, they went to war zones and documented what was happening. We did very few posed shots. So mostly, they just took photos as the day happened and I tried to get hubby to ignore the fact that he was being photographed as much as possible. There are still some weird shots of him, but we ended up w/ a lot more nice shots that are candid. But don''t miss out on the pictures! I agree w/ the others and would try to look at the photos as documenting your special day. I think that way, you''ll end up w/ some nice pics (probably won''t ALL be great still) and you''ll be happier w/ the results. And look adorable, too!
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Ally, I feel your pain sweetie, really, I do! I''ve never been terribly photogenic and I usually end up looking like a female Sasquatch in most photos...Since we eloped I wanted our photos to be awesome so we''d have something to share with our family and friends...I dont know if you remember my wedding photos here (I''ve since taken them down per the hub''s request to not slather our faces on the internet) but to me, and IMO, I looked pretty freaking faboo in those shots and those are the first photos in EONS where I actually think I look somewhat pretty and like what I see in the mirror.

Now, how did I get those awesome shots? Simple. I spoke at length to my photog - who was also of the photojournalistic style - and told her how awful I look in most photos and what specifically that I didn''t like about how I usually photograph and she said she''d make sure to guide me the day of. And she did - with the very first photos she took of me, she took a few in my usual position and they explained to me how best to stand and position my head so that I wouldn''t have a double chin or look weird. She explained that standing with the weight on one''s back leg helps elongate people, etc. The point is, you need to find a photographer that can MAKE you look in your wedding photos, like you do in real life. It''s doable, you just have to find the right person! Good luck...!
 
I might have another suggestion to add to your list... We''re using Sinclair Maloney from Expressions Photography (http://www.expressionsphotography.ca/index2.htm). I like his artistic approach, and I negociated an 8-hours custom package for 1230$. His office is in Longueil and he''ll be driving up to the Laurentians for us.
 
My hubby does that weird face thing too, but we had two tricks that worked for us.

1) We hired a really good photojournalistic photographer, met with him before, and joked around about it.

and

2) Hubby got rather drunk. Yep, that helped a lot because he was able to relax and just be himself which our photographer was able to capture from a distance. He didn''t get up in our faces at all, and the few times he actually gave us directions, I think he took pictures of the moments before and after the pose, not the pose itself.

Those both helped us. Of course the pics of my MIL are terrible, but I haven''t showed them to her yet. Apparently we should have gotten her drunk too.
 
Okay, I got one piece of advice from a photographer a few years ago that made all the difference for me. Instead of forcing a smile, think of something that makes you happy. The smile you get is SO different (and less squishy).

And, in case you haven''t figured it out, photojournalistic style is when the photographer doesn''t take posed shots, and instead focuses on taking pictures of what''s actually happening. It''s capturing the day instead of "BM1 go here, BM2 put your head up a little, alleycat stop slumping..."
 
i snagged this picture off my photographer''s website at hamletphotography.com. i think it''s a great example of the kinds of people shots a photojournalist photographer can get. my photographer has quite a reputation for getting out on the dance floor in the middle of everyone, dancing away with her camera, and all the while, getting beautiful pictures. how GORGEOUS does that bride look (i wish i could claim that was me, haha)?? it''s a lovely, completely candid, stunning picture of a bride having a great time, and also a great example of what a skilled photographer can capture when they''re not doing the "turn your head right, your eyes left, your left foot out, and don''t tip over" haha.

courtesyofhamletphotography.com .jpg
 
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