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i''m all about quality

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kellybelly

Shiny_Rock
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Aug 30, 2007
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ok, so i''m new here, but i''m sure i''m bringing up an issue that is far from new. the bf and i have been talking about rings for a few months now, so i''ve been looking around. after seeing what i can only estimate to be EVERY SINGLE available ring, i finally found a setting that i like...for now at least. i know exactly the color of the sidestones and the tiny ones in the pave of the band. the only other mystery should be the center stone. just as a suggestion, i looked around on bluenile, found an Asscher that would be suitable, and sent him an email. now there are a lot of variables when buying a diamond, and now i am making myself crazy worrying about what kind of quality he will finally choose. it would be easy to just aim for "perfect" in every category, which would remove all of my fears, but he''s not a millionaire so that''s not going to happen.

is it strange or wrong for me to want to know exactly what i''m getting???
 
Welcome!

It''s not strange at all...some ladies around here a lucky enough to pick out their own ring/stone so they dont have to wonder. My BF wants to do the choosing on his own. I have educated him on diamonds and clued him into about 5 settings I love but that''s it. I''m expecting a proposal by the end of the year, (18 weeks and counting!), so I do not know what to expect in terms of what size center stone or any details...

So no, your not wrong or strange...I think if you''re expecting a proposal and don''t wonder what your getting thats strange..lol.

Hope your wait is short and sweet!
 
Date: 8/30/2007 10:04:33 AM
Author:kellybelly
is it strange or wrong for me to want to know exactly what i''m getting???

Haha, it''s not strange at all! At least not here on PS.
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Do you get any say in which stone he chooses? If so, you might try posting the stone info over in the Rocky Talky forum and ask what people think (or ask them to make suggestions for other stones too!).

If you don''t get a say in the final decision (and it sounds like this might be the case), that''s a bit tougher...
Hopefully someone can suggest how to gently let your bf know about places like PS where he can get some diamond advice?

Sorry I''m not much help, but welcome anyhow!
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Hi!
I don''t think it''s strange at all. As my BF says- I''m going to wear it for the rest of my life; it better be exactly what I want. I picked out the setting I LOVE, and we''re working on the center stone now. The proposal and all that good stuff will be a total surprise, and that''s all him, but he appreciates the help in the ring dept. Have fun!
 
the one thing is that i''m not exactly sure what his budget is. so if, for example, he wants to spend $10,000 i need him to know that he does better to get a slightly smaller stone of better quality than to just go for the largest size for the money. especially with a cute like and Asscher, even the VS1 is not guaranteed to be "eye clean" so i hope he has a good jeweler to take a look at it once he gets it. i know myself well enough to know that if there is a visible flaw, i will stare at it until i find it.

i place the blame squarely on the whole wedding industry for turning charming and delightful ladies such as ourselves into neurotic messes!!
 
Date: 8/30/2007 10:32:20 AM
Author: kellybelly
i place the blame squarely on the whole wedding industry for turning charming and delightful ladies such as ourselves into neurotic messes!!

Haha! Amen to that!
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pfft, I already picked out the diamond, the dealer and the maker of my custom setting. I just told my boyfriend that when we do get engaged ("next september") I want to pick my ring, and he kinda rolled his eyes and said okay.
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Which is great, can you imagine what he''ll do for the proposal if he doesn''t have the ring at the time? Bwhahaha. Master of science, man.
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I think its normal to want to be involved, but not always feasible. I know that I can tell my boyfriend all day everyday what I want, but when it comes down to it, he feels like its his decision on what he wants to get me. I respect that, and leave it up to him, but I have told him he needs to get educated on diamonds before making a purchase and when I feel we get closer to the time, I''ll let him know some good sites he can shop on if he wants to do it online. Its a guys job to propose, so I''m really trying my best to leave it up to him. I know I wouldn''t be happy if I picked it all out myself, because then he wouldn''t have had to do any of the work, and I think shopping for a ring is part of the whole proposal process.

Its tough to take a back seat on this though, but I''m actually kind of happy, I love so many different cuts, I go back and forth on color and clarity, and don''t even mention settings, it would take me years to pick something out, so I''m kind of relieved its up to him, and I know whatever he gets me I''ll love, because he knows me so well!
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I don''t think it''s strange at all. When DH and I got engaged he picked out the ring and I wanted a more elaborate setting so we had one made. I knew exactly what it was and I LOVE it to this day. Good luck with yours!

Jess
 
Maybe you should direct him to PS, or more specifically, RockyTalky? Asschers are tricky little devils, and it''s easy to get a dud if you don''t know exactly what you''re looking for and are very educated. On the other hand, it''s really easy to find a GREAT one if you DO educate yourself. Asscher is one of the cuts that can''t be chosen by numbers, so even if you have learned all the "ideals" you have to know how to read between the lines, especially if you aren''t picking it out in person.

I don''t know if you have already been doing that for yourself, but if your BF is picking the stone by himself he''d be well served by getting advice on here.

Okay, off the asscher soapbox now
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James allen loose diamonds

they have pictures of the diamond, and the report for review. I just put between .75-1.6 carats, and 0-7000 dollars you can filter it from there. We ordered our e-ring from them and they were fabulous. I like that they have pictures of the diamond. the thing i didnt like about blue nile was that we had a problem that if we picked out a diamond they seemingly didnt have it. also. the e-ring we got from james allen was appraised at over 2x what we paid for it. we got the best deal on the diamond.
 
It''s definitely not strange-my ff and I picked our ring together in July. I''d rather know what I was getting and D was very glad of the help!
 
Here in the UK it is VERY unusual to be surprised with the ring. All my friends got the proposal first and then went ring shopping.

Not quite so many were as obsessed enough to put months into research, design and having the ring made after the proposal - which is what I did.

I find it a bit odd that all these men want to spend a load of $$$ on something you might wear for the rest of your life - and not give you a say. Can you imagine what a man would say if you said you were going to buy him a car that way - and he''d have to drive that make and model for the rest of his life.
 
HI! Welcome to PS!! Nope..it is not strange at all! We picked out our stone and setting together (well, actually i picked it out according to his budget) and then the engagement was a total surprise. I think its nice to do it together! After all, we are the ones that wear the ring forever so it makes sense that we get something that we really love!!
 
My guy is actually banking on me doing most of the shopping since he knows I know a billion times more about diamonds than he does. Which is good, because otherwise I''d be a neurotic mess too.
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HAhaha....My bf had exactly the same idea!!...until he realised how incredibly fussy I am so he''s now resigned himself to the fact that when the time comes, he''ll have to let me do the choosing...
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well ladies, i think i fixed my own problem today. i showed him photos of two rings that i really like, the difference between them being that one can have a band sit flush against it but the other one cant. apart from that they are nearly identical. and i am putting him in the capable hands of a dear friend of mine who works at a nice jewelry store. i trust her implicitly, and even mroe so when it comes to jewelry-- she wouldn''t steer him wrong. now it''s just a matter of time, but you you''d be amazed at how relieved he was when i finally said "i like this one" and that he could do the rest.....but if i end up with a cloudy J, you''ll be hearing about that too! jk
 
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