I''m confused on costs

[Larissa]

There was a guy on another thread who didn''t want to spend $15K on a ring and one of the suggestions was for him to get the $15K ring by saving more money rather than attempting to find another ring in the couple''s price range.

I understand that this is a jewellery forum and that we all love rings so I wanted to ask the LIW a few questions regarding expectations with e-rings.

Would you be upset if your man went over budget on a ring?
Would you rather him save for another year or two and get the perfect ring or just get a great ring and be engaged now?
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I ask because $15K is more than half of my yearly earnings...and before I quit work, he earned way less than that. We''d have to both save for at least 3 years and not be able to afford the wedding, or a place to live. The idea of putting off the engagement to earn that much more money just seems odd to me...

 

[sumbride]

If he wants to buy a $15k ring but just can''t afford it right now, then he should save up for it because that''s what he wants... but I don''t think anybody is required to spend that much or save that long for a ring!

I''ve seen some lovely rings with tiny diamonds... I''ve seen some ugly rings with huge diamonds... it all comes down to what you want and what you can afford. For some people (and I''m not one of them) $15k is not a big deal, but for others, that''s half (or more!) of their yearly salary, and that''s just TOO much to spend on jewlery. Like it or not, jewelry IS a luxury item and the other life essentials do need to come first.... The good thing is, there''s usually a way to do both.

Buy what you like and what you can afford now. If you want to upgrade, make sure your jeweler has a policy for this. My FI and I don''t have a ton of money in the bank right now, and though I know my ring will be beautiful, I don''t expect him to have saved for the last three years for it. I don''t think it''s right to have a ring at the price of a life together. Being together is more important. I don''t know that I would be "angry" with him for spending more than he could afford, but if he''s going into debt for it, that debt becomes my debt once we marry, so it is an issue.

 

[Aurelia]

Sometimes a guy (like mine) gets an idea in his head as to what kind of ring he wants to buy for me -- either a carat goal, or some monetary value. Then, they want to stick to that idea, even if it means waiting until this is monetarily possible.

I think it is important to remember that while $15K may sound extravagant to you -- half a year''s income, it may not be so large to others. It''s crucial to remember that some of us on this board are also perhaps older and more secure in our finances. So don''t be so quick to judge a person''s budget. What is over-the-top for one may be entirely reasonable to another.

I don''t think the idea of putting off an engagement to save more money is ridiculous at all. Currently, my boyfriend and I are saving for an engagement ring because we recently purchased a house together, and that took a lot of our savings (we put a much greater sum down than is typical). This sort of financial planning sounds prudent to me, not odd.

In terms of going over the set budget, I think it is key that while you can set a budget, after you do research and explore different dealers'' options, that budget may change. It may suddenly become clear that it is too small to cover what both of you want, or it may show that you can get much more than you realized.

So please remember that while we are all here for at least a few of the same reasons (marriage, rings, etc...) we all come from very different backgrounds, have very different financial situations, and in general, have different budgets.

Aurelia

 

[aussiegirl23]

Larissa,

I read through the thread and figured I''d comment here. Here''s the thread link: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ring-search-please-help-identify.49270/

It sounds like when this couple went looking at rings, she fell in love with a very specific and ornate ring from a specific designer.

In that case, why not spend a little more time putting together that sort of budget, as Mrs. Salvo suggested.

JulieN''s comment that this ring "wasn''t very expensive" was in regards to the fact that this is again, an ornate, intricate, double 2-sided halo with a split shank... Not your typical solitaire.

All of the people there were providing their insight as to a reasonable price for this type of ring, including a 1.5 carat stone.

Not sure I understand how you think people were misleading him or pushing him to increase his budget. They were simply explaining that to purchase a ring like the one he mentioned, it might take that kind of budget.

As to your questions:
-I would only be upset if my boyfriend went over budget if:
-we hadn''t discussed it 1st
-he went over budget because he didn''t do his research and went with a more expensive vendor
-he went over budget because he bought something bigger than what I wanted
-I would rather he save money until he can buy the perfect ring -- spend the time, effort and money now
-what''s the rush?
-why compromise and settle for less than perfect now?
-I''m sentimental and won''t want to "upgrade" later, so I want my ring to be amazing - now, and forever

Aussiegirl : p

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Larissa, if you read on here long enough, there are guys every week looking for diamonds in the $2500-3000 range..around 3/4 carat (and smaller, too). As everyone said, there are people of all ages and income levels on here. A few people have diamonds worth as much as some of our homes! Not that any formula works for everyone, as debt and income vary widely, but if you think more about making a ring budget based on something like 1 or 2 months income, that might work better for you. Not everyone wants to wait years to get engaged either. So I see nothing wrong with paying off an engagement ring over a few months if necessary (particularly if you have a low interest credit card). Above all, I''d shop for a high qualiity stone online, and not overpay at a regular retail jeweler.

 

[bobacha]

Larissa,
a lot of sources out there always says that 2 months salary is how much you should spend on an engagament ring... but you don''t even have to follow that ... just get what you think is reasonable and in your budget.

My fiance and I set our budget to 1 month salary... and we ended up with something less

We''re both VERY HAPPY with the ring now

 

[firebirdgold]

Price isn''t always based on income. My fi saved for about nine months until he had about half a month''s pay. He bought me a beautiful .6 carat antique platinum ring and still had enough money left over to go towards our mountain bikes. I couldn''t love a $15k ring anymore than I do this one, it''s the most perfect ring and the most perfect symbol of our love and commitment to each other.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

I think it''s a matter of what works for a couple, too. My fiance and I are financially stable, but also see more interest in owning a home, and maintaining savings, rather than in having a huge ring. I also happen to find small diamonds much more appealing and less "fake" looking. He spent far less than a month''s salary, but still had to sacrifice and save up in order to purchase it, because both of us felt strongly that we didn''t want our symbol of our future to be a chunk of debt.

He actually ended up spending a tad more than we''d originally thought would be more than enough, based on my simple tastes. But, we have the assurance of knowing that it''s a great quality diamond, and that was worth it.

Since we are both professionals, perhaps what was spent was on the low side, but for our own desires and feelings on the matter, it''s a bit more than we''d intended. Either way, we love it and are very happy with it. It looks great on me, and I''m so proud of it and just loving it. Something that cost 20 bucks or 10,000 bucks I couldn''t love any more than I do this one.

Some people want to save up and wait to move forward with their relationship. It''s different for everyone. I don''t think men should have to feel pressured to spend any specific amount in relation to their salary; it''s silly to assume that if one person makes a certain amount, they can afford a certain amount to be spent on a ring. Poor financial choices happen with those who have a HUGE salary just as often as to those with tiny salaries.

 

[anchor31]

It all really depends on your situation... My fiancé is 24, has no debt except car payments and he''s been working full-time for 1½ years. He insisted on making an effort so he could get me the very best he can, and put in a lot of overtime hours and saved up for 6½ months for my ring. It so happens that the amount he saved up was equivalent to 2 months salary (and NOWHERE near $15k!!) and we were able to get a ring we both absolutely adore and will cherish for our entire lives. It was imperative to me that he did not go into debt for my ring!

 

[ladykemma]

i wear a $500 dollar ring and got married right away. I love him, and the ring.

 

[firebirdgold]

We''re also in the camp of having your financial ducks in order first. It took my fi so long to save up because most of his money goes to other important things like his mortgage, paying off his student loan, and putting as much as possible into his 401k every month. There are very few people who can spend one let alone two whole months worth of income on a single purchase without going into debt no matter how much money they make.
It was very important to him that he saved all the money first rather than buying it sooner and paying off a debt later. Even if it came out to the same amount of money in the end, this way we aren''t planning our life together while he''s putting all his extra money into paying off the ring.

To answer your questions more specificly, I would be upset if he''d gone into debt for the ring. And this isn''t just a great ring, it''s the perfect ring. It''s perfect not because of size or quality, but because it''s the ring he choose while thinking about how much he loves me and about how excited he is that we''ll be married soon.

 

[Larissa]

Edited, I wasn't clear enough so I just started another post that was more clear.