I''m not wearing my rings anymore...

[MsP]

I must be sick or something. I''ve just started to realize that I''m not really wearing my diamonds much anymore. I used to wear a ring on each hand... typically both larger three stones but sometimes a three stone and an eternity band. I''ve been in a relationship for a while now, not engaged, not wanting to be and as time has moved on, there have been numerous comments by friends, coworkers, and acquaintances OF HIS questioning the engagement-ness of these rings. IE ‘oh are you engaged?!?’ from many or ‘****, do you see her rings?!? How are you going to compete with that for an engagement ring?’, or the best from women friends of his to me in private, ‘Do you really think you should wear those? They’re totally intimidating him from buying you anything.’ My friends know about my jewelry addiction. A new ring on any ring finger would probably be written off as another self indulgence and of no relation to any engagement status.


I’m not offended by the comments but I think they just bring attention to a topic I’d rather not linger on so I found myself just leaving my rings off when we’d go out with his friends. Fast forward a couple months and the rings are just staying off. They’re all clean in their boxes and I hadn’t even recognized that I wasn’t wearing them at all until a friend of mine asked if I had sold them.


I’m not sure how I feel. Like I love my diamonds but I don’t really like the attention. I’ve gotten attention before as being a young researcher/student doesn’t typically equate to great jewelry but I’ve been blessed in my life and able to afford these luxuries. I still wear my diamond studs but they attract *no* attention as I guess people just assume they’re fake and the same with my pendant. No one talks about the $3000 watch either. But the rings are an automatic discussion point.


Point being, I’m considering selling them. I haven’t been wearing them and I’m not really sentimentally attached to them. Jewelry is just jewelry to me. I talked to my SO and he’s really, really against it. Mostly because he says I’m giving up something for his friend’s sake and that I’ve giving up something I love. I somewhat agree, but I haven’t even noticed them being gone.


So I don’t really know…anyone have a similar situation? My biggest problem with selling them is the money I’ll lose but if they’re not being worn. I do kind of miss them. What women doesn’t love sparklies on her fingers?!? I was also thinking of how I''d feel if things didn''t work out... and we broke up. Would I miss them tons? Hmmm...

 

[neatfreak]

If your SO isn''t bothered by them who cares what his friends say?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Yes, you''d miss them! You''d sell at a loss and end up buying again at a higher price. If you love your pieces, don''t give them up. Either you''ll get engaged or you won''t, but I think you''ll be sorry to give up the diamonds you already have unless they are replaced by something better!

 

[brooklyngirl]

Ditto NF, and DiamondSeeker. I'll also add that your SO's feelings about your rings, and his willingness to get you an e-ring are none of thier business, and SO should set them straight. These people are sticking their nose where it doesn't belong and are obviously making you uncomfortable enough to not wear something you love. I'd tell them to piss off.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 12/16/2008 8:34:04 PM
Author: neatfreak
If your SO isn''t bothered by them who cares what his friends say?

As always, neatfreak is to-the-point...and right.

 

[somethingshiny]

Date: 12/16/2008 8:56:34 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 12/16/2008 8:34:04 PM

Author: neatfreak

If your SO isn''t bothered by them who cares what his friends say?

As always, neatfreak is to-the-point...and right.

another ditto

and you made me *gasp* when I saw the title of this thread. That is NOT a good title for a PSer to see!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 12/16/2008 8:56:34 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 12/16/2008 8:34:04 PM
Author: neatfreak
If your SO isn''t bothered by them who cares what his friends say?

As always, neatfreak is to-the-point...and right.

neatfreak is spot on as always....

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 12/16/2008 8:56:34 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 12/16/2008 8:34:04 PM
Author: neatfreak
If your SO isn''t bothered by them who cares what his friends say?

As always, neatfreak is to-the-point...and right.

ditto: you didn''t buy them to please anyone but yourself so wear them!

next time someone asks you is that an engagement ring just say "no, would you like to buy me one?" and change the topic. if the person continues after that, they''re just rude and i''d tell them so.

movie zombie

 

[MsP]

I think the point that I''m trying to make is that while my SO doesn''t care, his friends make a point to point them out...all the time. We''re all in competitive fairly outspoken fields and so it''s only to be expected I guess. When they do come up, we tend to have the discussion, dismiss the engagement points and move on. But after coming up many times... it got annoying. So I began to leave them at home.

Then there''s his family who live fairly far away and I haven''t spent much time with. Not overly wealthy or showy... SO and I discussed wearing them in their presence and he said to do whatever I was comfotable with and he would support it. I opted against it. I just feel it''s not appropriate. I''m not defined by my jewelry but I do like it... perhaps I''m apprehensive about wearing jewelry around his friends because of the same reasons.

We just talked about it tonight and I think I''m going to see about putting them in a consignment type setting and if I can sell at a price point I''m comfortable with, then I will. I feel like I paid very competitive prices and I ...might... be able to recoup my costs. It''s kind of the easy way out I guess...and perhaps I just need to suck it up and deal with the attention.

Hmm.

 

[Steel]

Sorry you are feeling pressure...never good.

But regarding selling jewellery, now is not a good time. Based on that one economic factor I would hold off.

 

[neatfreak]

If his friends are rude about it, just say something equally snarky back, once, and let it go. Sounds to me like they are the ones with the issues if they make you feel badly about your jewelry. Don''t sell it just because of them.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Sounds like you have a really supportive SO.

How long have you not been wearing them--a few months? more? You may change your mind about selling. I'd hang onto them if it's only been a few months--I'd hang onto them anyway. Wear them if you like. Don't wear them if you don't feel like it. I'd ignore the comments, though--or set the friends straight.

 

[~*Alexis*~]

you have worked hard to get what you have. There is no reason for them to make those comments. They are probably pissy because they know they cannot afford that for the people in their lives...

Don''t get rid of them. You will regret it later on....

 

[marcy]

Date: 12/16/2008 8:34:04 PM
Author: neatfreak
If your SO isn''t bothered by them who cares what his friends say?

I agree. I think you''d regret selling them at some later date and if I liked them I''d wear them regardless of what anyone thought or said.

 

[Kaleigh]

Jewelry is your passion. Don''t let anyone take that away from you.

 

[arjunajane]

It seems really odd that the friends would bring up this topic more than once?
"Are they e-rings? No? Why do you wear them? Cuz I like rings".
end of story

However, you mention you are young but quite well-off. Do you think these are larger socio-economic/jealousy issues at work and they are just using the engagement thing as a front? Just a wild interpretation..

I agree you should not get rid of them, I think you may regret it.

 

[girlie-girl]

I would keep your rings and continue to wear them, but probably only on your right hand. If wearing a ring on your left ring finger prompts the 'is that an engagement ring' question which makes you so uncomfortable, why don't you just not wear a ring on that finger? Wear it on your pinky if you must wear a ring on the left hand. That way you get to keep the jewels you love, without opening yourself up to the questions. If your diamonds are quite large, I can see how some people may think your BF would be intimidated to buy you one. Most guys like to be able to afford something more than what we can afford for ourselves, but of course that is between you and your BF when the situation presents itself.

I'd love to see the rings you're talking about. Perhaps it would give us a better idea of whether they look 'engagement' or not.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 12/16/2008 10:31:51 PM
Author: marcyc

Date: 12/16/2008 8:34:04 PM

Author: neatfreak

If your SO isn''t bothered by them who cares what his friends say?

I agree. I think you''d regret selling them at some later date and if I liked them I''d wear them regardless of what anyone thought or said.

Ditto. I would never sell something I loved over the rude comments of others. They are really out of line to continue bringing it up over and over again. Your SO should tell them to stop.

 

[Bliss]

You could just say they are very special to you. Most people would leave it at that and assume the rings were iniherited. Or just toss your head and say, "Because I''m worth it!" And maybe the other women will start thinking, "Hmmm, maybe I should buy myself some nice jewelry, too!"

I know I would miss my jewelry. Even if the piece itself isn''t special -- they have kind of become special through all the memories and experiences I''ve had wearing them. Why not keep them in a box a little while longer just to think a little more? It''s not a great market to sell right now anyhow... so the extra time won''t cost anything!

(((HUGS)))

 

[HollyS]

Maybe we need to take away your PS poster status for such a post as "I''m not wearing my rings anymore"!

Wear what YOU like, when YOU want to. If your BF is not bothered by these rather rude people who feel they must comment, why should you be?

DO NOT sell your rings. Unless you want something different; then change to whatever you would like. But don''t sell them because you have been ''shamed'' into taking them off by people who don''t feel you deserve to wear them unless they were purchased by a man!

 

[Circe]

Date: 12/18/2008 3:17:47 PM
Author: HollyS
Maybe we need to take away your PS poster status for such a post as ''I''m not wearing my rings anymore''!

Wear what YOU like, when YOU want to. If your BF is not bothered by these rather rude people who feel they must comment, why should you be?


DO NOT sell your rings. Unless you want something different; then change to whatever you would like. But don''t sell them because you have been ''shamed'' into taking them off by people who don''t feel you deserve to wear them unless they were purchased by a man!

What she said - brilliantly put, Holly!

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Listen, gf...on PS, we encourage (enable?) each other to BUY rings, not SELL them!!!

That being said, I agree with everyone else and say at least WAIT to sell them. Wait until you're no longer emotional over any of this. You may not think you are now, but the fact that it's still bothering you to the point that you feel you must sell your jewels means it is still an issue in your mind. If you decide to sell them, sell them because you want to, or because you need the money, or whatever. Please don't sell them because you feel you 'ought' to. So what if you own them and don't wear them??

Honey, do you REALIZE how many rings some of these PSers own?? (Yes, I'm a mite jealous...LOL) Do you think they can wear them ALL, ALL the time?? Heck no!! Some go into 'storage' for a long time while others are proudly worn!! Let yours stay tucked away some place safe and if you feel you shouldn't wear them for whatever reason, at least you can open your jewelry box and gaze on them from time to time. Really, selling would be a shame ESPECIALLY if you're losing money (which, as far as I ever knew, you shouldn't ever lose money with diamonds, because they retain their value and thus are a great investment? But I know very little about that, so I'll say no more )

Also, I have to agree with what someone else said: May we see these rings in question? I'll admit that I want to see them mostly because I am obsessed with looking at jewelry...especially jewelry that is actually owned by someone and is not just a picture in a magazine/catalogue.

-Rachel