I''m Nuts (long)

[Kayakqueen83]

Now that Mr. Man is out of law school and is in his new job, I am finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even when he was in law school, I was ready to get engaged. I was in a stable job, spent many years on my own, traveled, and was completely financially independent. I was ready…. And he wasn’t there yet. So I waited, no biggie. I wanted him to finish all the important things in his life before we made that transition. Being completely financially independent was very important to both of us and he couldn’t be while he was in law school. Then law school ended… very abruptly and not at all the way we envisioned and everything got all topsy-turvy. Through everything we were fine… it was hard, but “we” were ok even though everything else wasn’t.

And now the storm has passed and we have found ourselves in this nice quiet place. During the time when he was “getting there” I put my readiness and feelings of being LIW aside. I focused on our wonderful relationship and really enjoying the “set up” period. Well, now things are all in order… all that is left is a bit of saving on his part (as he just got this new job and wasn’t really able to save much while he was in school). All the excitement and wondering when it is going to happen is here. And it’s great…. Sort of. Haha. I’m number ten on the list and I could see myself being here for up to another year but probably less then that.

The other day when we were talking about it and he mentioned that he didn’t even know when he was going to ask me… and there it was… the anxiety. I didn’t want to say anything to him. I wanted to give all of this over to him, but in my head I’m thinking that he hasn’t even started planning for this. Here we are talking about it and I’m getting my hopes up that it is coming soon and he hasn’t even thought of it as more then just a “someday we will get married.” I was sad and he called me on the way home from work. I told him my fears and I wanted him to know that if he wasn’t thinking about it seriously, maybe he just wasn’t in the same place as me. In my opinion, if he wants to marry me and everything is set up just the way we wanted it to be… then there shouldn’t be anything holding him back. He should be seriously preparing for it and if he wasn’t then I needed to know for my own sake. He was just leaving work and told me that this should be something we talk about when he gets home.

About an hour later I was in the back yard talking on the phone to one of my girlfriends and he pops up behind me and tells me he has something very important to tell me. I hang up and there he is with some beautiful flowers. He says that he wants to be with me forever, he wants me to be his wife and he needs me to know that always. He said that he may not have the exact date laid out when he will propose but that doesn’t mean that is isn’t getting all his ducks in a row. He told me that we are in the home stretch and wanted me to know that.

So here I am feeling silly. I really have never been too anxious about the whole thing. I knew it was going to happen when we were ready for it…. And now that we are ready I guess it just got the best of me.

I don’t know if this even had a point but I just wanted to share my own little breakdown. It’s silly really… but of course, we all get a little silly sometimes.

 

[jcarlylew]

aww we all go through the same thing!! Don''t feel silly. Be proud that you were at least able to express your concerns and he took it to heart!

 

[lala2332]

I completly understand Bf and I are both in law school and I'm getting LIW-itis something awful.
he hasn't even told his parents that we've talked about it.
I feel like he is just not on top of this one like I want him to be. so frusterating!

Don't worry,l I keep telling myself that it will happen when its supposed to!

 

[absolut_blonde]

That''s so sweet of him! Funny how they always go and do something like that just as we''re hitting panic mode.

Judging by your posts (both this one and others), I''ve always had the impression that a proposal is really not too far away at all.

 

[Kayakqueen83]

jcarlylew: thanks for the support. I feel so silly about it especially since he went so out of his way to let me know how he feels. It''s nice to know I can come here and talk to people who are going through something similar

LALA: Wow, BOTH of you are in law school? How awesome, but probably really stressful at the sametime. Don''t worry, I''m sure he''ll get on the ball when law school eases up a bit. That''s what happened with Mr. Man. I wanted him to focus on law school while he was in it (most days... haha). Try and hang in there. It will be worth it in the end!

absolut_blonde: Yea, he is great. Somedays I think it is right around the corner as well.... other days I think that I''m setting my self up for disappointment. At least I know that we are on the same page about getting married to one another. We are both really excited about that.... the whole proposal thing is just icing on the cake. (very "official" icing)

 

[Bia]

I think many (I mean MANY) of us are going through a similar experience. We know its going to happen, just not when. It''s hard. I sometimes try to put myself in his shoes. How he seems to be so relaxed about the whole thing? I wonder why it''s only me--the one who can''t stop thinking about it. I am working my booty off to act like I''m blasé about the whole thing, but I''m really not...can''t you tell? I spend my entire work day posting on PS!

Anyway, you''re not alone...

 

[meresal]

What a sweet guy. He is obviously in tune with you emotions and noticed that something struck you the wrong way. You've definitely got yourself a keeper!! Congrats!!

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 7/23/2008 2:50:34 PM
Author: Bia
I think many (I mean MANY) of us are going through a similar experience. We know its going to happen, just not when. It''s hard. I sometimes try to put myself in his shoes. How he seems to be so relaxed about the whole thing? I wonder why it''s only me--the one who can''t stop thinking about it. I am working my booty off to act like I''m blasé about the whole thing, but I''m really not...can''t you tell? I spend my entire work day posting on PS!

Anyway, you''re not alone...

We must have the same job!

My boyf (at least i dont think) has talked to his parents either. However they still consider me a part of the family *phew*.

thank goodness for PS!

side note - i just talked to my sister ( married ) and her husband is the SAME WAY. so we''re definately not alone here!

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Aww. You''ve proven that communication is key! Good luck with Mr. Man.

Sometimes I think I need to just shut my mouth about getting engaged. I''ve proven (time and time.... and time again) that men really do like "the thrill of the chase." I''ve noticed if I talk about weddings too much, my SO gets pretty tight lipped and moody. However, if I lay off the "honey, let''s talk about the future" chit-chat for a few weeks, HE ends up bringing it up.

I cannot, however, manage to keep my yapper closed when I spend all day on this damn website! I think I need an intervention.