i''m pretty sure PS is making me feel crazy

[aliciagirl]

So, BF and I have been dating for almost two years and have been friends for a lot longer. We have discussed at length marriage and engagement and have roughly been planning to be engaged by fall of next year and married by the fall of 2010. He knows I don''t want to be engaged more than two years and I know (think) that he still has a lot of saving to do before he buys a ring.

Butttt, we''ve been ring shopping lately, because I knew what shape of stone I wanted but didn''t know what size or setting. So, we''ve kind of just been browsing around. He was asking about a jewelry web site that had a ring that I liked. And when I told him I was shopping for his Christmas surprise (a scrapbook) he said something about me being surprised on Christmas as well.

I have absolutely no reason to think he would propose on Christmas. I''m a pharmacy student, I won''t start working for another year and a half, there is no way we would get married before 2010 AND he knows I''m against being engaged for over two years. So why can''t I stop obsessing about it being an engagement ring!? I think I''ve been spending far too much time around here with all the beautiful proposal stories and fabulous rings.

Has anyone else felt like this after spending a lot of time on PS? Or am I the only totally crazy one.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/4/2007 6:44:02 PM
Author:aliciagirl
So, BF and I have been dating for almost two years and have been friends for a lot longer. We have discussed at length marriage and engagement and have roughly been planning to be engaged by fall of next year and married by the fall of 2010. He knows I don''t want to be engaged more than two years and I know (think) that he still has a lot of saving to do before he buys a ring.

Butttt, we''ve been ring shopping lately, because I knew what shape of stone I wanted but didn''t know what size or setting. So, we''ve kind of just been browsing around. He was asking about a jewelry web site that had a ring that I liked. And when I told him I was shopping for his Christmas surprise (a scrapbook) he said something about me being surprised on Christmas as well.

I have absolutely no reason to think he would propose on Christmas. I''m a pharmacy student, I won''t start working for another year and a half, there is no way we would get married before 2010 AND he knows I''m against being engaged for over two years. So why can''t I stop obsessing about it being an engagement ring!? I think I''ve been spending far too much time around here with all the beautiful proposal stories and fabulous rings.

Has anyone else felt like this after spending a lot of time on PS? Or am I the only totally crazy one.

Yes, it''s only normal.

I lurked in 2003, and I think I first posted in late 2004. I then took a break, because the coveting got a bit nutty...I just wanted it all! I still lurked, but usually on threads other than diamonds. It was the only way I could stop thinking about a ring, because they are so puuuurdy and spaaaaaaaarkling and hypnoooooooootizing.

The only cure is to run. Sorry to be bearer of bad news.

 

[sunnyd]

alicia you are not crazy at all! i''m in the same boat...maybe i''m crazy too

... i KNOW that we aren''t financially ready, and he''s not quite emotionally ready, but for some damn reason i keep planning away at my future ring!!! yeah it''s fun and all, but it''s making me nuts!!

i took a step back and am trying to consume my time with things non-engagement. which is proving to be difficult. good luck!

 

[Octavia]

I think it''s very normal -- I went a little crazy when I first found PS. A little while later, I went through a miserable week and had a small meltdown and probably scared my BF half to death (it was pretty unlike me). We talked about the underlying reasons behind it -- which actually weren''t engagement related -- and I calmed down a little. Since then, I''ve stepped back and admitted that neither BF or I are quite ready yet. I knew this before, but reading all the LIW threads sort of made me forget that. Now I''m just admiring everyone''s sparkly fun things and storing up knowledge/ideas for when the time comes.

 

[glueck]

So why can''t I stop obsessing about it being an engagement ring!? I think I''ve been spending far too much time around here with all the beautiful proposal stories and fabulous rings.

Has anyone else felt like this after spending a lot of time on PS? Or am I the only totally crazy one.
_______________________________________________________________________________________

You are not crazy at ALL. What is it about that ring what makes it all so real?? I love jewelry, dont get me wrong, but the intoxicating idea of this special ring that says "yes, sweetheart, this is real and we are doing this together!" I love the fact that it is a right of passage for all couples... that the next big chapter begins this way.... the tradition....the romantic story that will always be special.... I TOTALLY get it.

Oh god, I have been watching far too many chic flicks!

 

[Miscka]

I just want to say that you are NOT alone!!! I feel that way too. So I try to limit my exposure

especially when I am really bummed about it. But the people are so nice and I really like hanging around, so I don''t think I could limit myself too much! I think it is very true, though, that it can cause you to think more about it than you would otherwise. But it is so nice to hear from other LIWs and know that you aren''t the only one who feels like that.

 

[Mara]

to me it's only natural if you are going to hang around PS, you are going to covet what is being discussed, especially when it's something as emotional as engagement.

it always surprises me when people show up here going 'oh we've been dating 3 months but i'm sure we'll be married, put me on the list'..i'm like WHAT? seriously, spend some time getting to know this person before you put yourself on a 'soon to be engaged' list. talk about setting yourself up for some disappointment. or those who are saying something similar to your story, aka engaged in 2009 or 2010 or similar. i think okay it's 2007/2008...got some time there yanno. i would be seriously going bonkers within weeks hanging out here with no hope of engagement for 1-2 years. when i first found PS i was here researching seriously and we bought the stone within 2 months. i would never have made it with all this bling and enabling around. no wonder so many LIW's turn crazy as the time pasess...hehehee. it's inevitable!!

and then the sickness never REALLY goes away...i mean after you have your ring, it doesn't END there yanno! umm as evidenced by me...5 years later. PS'er beware.

 

[Delster]

Date: 12/5/2007 10:49:10 AM
Author: Mara
to me it's only natural if you are going to hang around PS, you are going to covet what is being discussed, especially when it's something as emotional as engagement.


it always surprises me when people show up here going 'oh we've been dating 3 months but i'm sure we'll be married, put me on the list'..i'm like WHAT? seriously, spend some time getting to know this person before you put yourself on a 'soon to be engaged' list. talk about setting yourself up for some disappointment. or those who are saying something similar to your story, aka engaged in 2009 or 2010 or similar. i think okay it's 2007/2008...got some time there yanno. i would be seriously going bonkers within weeks hanging out here with no hope of engagement for 1-2 years. when i first found PS i was here researching seriously and we bought the stone within 2 months. i would never have made it with all this bling and enabling around. no wonder so many LIW's turn crazy as the time pasess...hehehee. it's inevitable!!


and then the sickness never REALLY goes away...i mean after you have your ring, it doesn't END there yanno! umm as evidenced by me...5 years later. PS'er beware.

I agree with all of this, and with Octavia

This is why I'm not on the LIW list...

When I find myself with a case of engagement RING fever, I just avoid the SMTR forum. Course, it's easier said than done!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/5/2007 10:49:10 AM
Author: Mara

it always surprises me when people show up here going ''oh we''ve been dating 3 months but i''m sure we''ll be married, put me on the list''..i''m like WHAT?

Mara, that''s simply because some gals dream of an ENGAGEMENT. Others dream of having a great marriage. The former can deny it all they want, but it''s true.

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 12/5/2007 10:49:10 AM
Author: Mara
to me it''s only natural if you are going to hang around PS, you are going to covet what is being discussed, especially when it''s something as emotional as engagement.


it always surprises me when people show up here going ''oh we''ve been dating 3 months but i''m sure we''ll be married, put me on the list''..i''m like WHAT? seriously, spend some time getting to know this person before you put yourself on a ''soon to be engaged'' list. talk about setting yourself up for some disappointment. or those who are saying something similar to your story, aka engaged in 2009 or 2010 or similar. i think okay it''s 2007/2008...got some time there yanno. i would be seriously going bonkers within weeks hanging out here with no hope of engagement for 1-2 years. when i first found PS i was here researching seriously and we bought the stone within 2 months. i would never have made it with all this bling and enabling around. no wonder so many LIW''s turn crazy as the time pasess...hehehee. it''s inevitable!!


and then the sickness never REALLY goes away...i mean after you have your ring, it doesn''t END there yanno! umm as evidenced by me...5 years later. PS''er beware.

I don''t think it''s that abnormal for people to spend 7-8 months planning for an engagement. I think if someone comes around here seeing bling all day and dreaming about an engagement, that might be a problem. But I know for me, I hear about these sweet stories and great weddings and can''t wait to have that day. It''s little to do with the actual ring.

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 12/5/2007 12:17:08 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 12/5/2007 10:49:10 AM

Author: Mara



it always surprises me when people show up here going 'oh we've been dating 3 months but i'm sure we'll be married, put me on the list'..i'm like WHAT?

Mara, that's simply because some gals dream of an ENGAGEMENT. Others dream of having a great marriage. The former can deny it all they want, but it's true.

Yup, a big WORD! on the above posts. I am continuously baffled by many posts on this forum area. It seems like the ring is the most important thing and quite a few young ladies (and they do seem very young based on their posts) simply want to be "engaged" (I'm not saying this thread specifically, more responding to the above posts). I think finding the right partner with whom one can create a great marriage with is the most important thing.

So many girls come here posting, "I want the perfect proposal. I want the perfect ring. I want the perfect wedding." And I think geez! That's an awful lot of wanting things that don't really make a wonderful marriage.

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 12/5/2007 4:18:14 PM
Author: surfgirl

Date: 12/5/2007 12:17:08 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 12/5/2007 10:49:10 AM


Author: Mara





it always surprises me when people show up here going 'oh we've been dating 3 months but i'm sure we'll be married, put me on the list'..i'm like WHAT?

Mara, that's simply because some gals dream of an ENGAGEMENT. Others dream of having a great marriage. The former can deny it all they want, but it's true.

Yup, a big WORD! on the above posts. I am continuously baffled by many posts on this forum area. It seems like the ring is the most important thing and quite a few young ladies (and they do seem very young based on their posts) simply want to be 'engaged' (I'm not saying this thread specifically, more responding to the above posts). I think finding the right partner with whom one can create a great marriage with is the most important thing.


So many girls come here posting, 'I want the perfect proposal. I want the perfect ring. I want the perfect wedding.' And I think geez! That's an awful lot of wanting things that don't really make a wonderful marriage.

I think that you guys are right that a perfect ring and a perfect wedding and a perfect proposal do not equal a wonderful marriage. But I also think it's unfair to assume that just because someone wants to be engaged that they haven't found the right partner who they are going to have a wonderful marriage with. I agree that sometimes it is very easy to judge a post on someone's maturity level or the topic they are posting about, but I'm not convinced that because someone is young and wants to be engaged it means they don't have the right partner or that their marriage is doomed to be awful and fail.

I can't speak for all the other 'young' ladies on this board, but I come here to post and read about things that I can't obsess to my friends about. Like "Do I want a cathedral setting?" or "I can't stop thinking about being engaged". I have my family and friends there to obsess about how great SO and I are together, how long it took us to finally be together, how excited we are when we get to see each other, how we love each other for who we really are and how we've discussed every topic under the sun and couldn't agree more that we are perfect for each other, so I don't feel I need to include all of that information in my posts. Maybe other girls here are the same way? This is, afterall, a forum about jewelry and weddings and not a "Let me tell you about why my SO and I are a perfect match" forum.

 

[sunnyd]

thanks alicia, well put...i didn''t realize that we''re not supposed to dream about the perfect ring on this forum, especially since we''ve already found the perfect guy. we wouldn''t be here otherwise, in theory.

it''s not really about obsessing over the ring, it''s about what the ring means. that''s exciting! besides, there is no ''show me the man'', where we can dicuss our mates and how great they are for everyone to ogle.

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 12/5/2007 4:55:17 PM
Author: sunnyd
thanks alicia, well put...i didn't realize that we're not supposed to dream about the perfect ring on this forum, especially since we've already found the perfect guy. we wouldn't be here otherwise, in theory.

it's not really about obsessing over the ring, it's about what the ring means. that's exciting! besides, there is no 'show me the man', where we can dicuss our mates and how great they are for everyone to ogle.

Show me the man!! Hahahah.

That's exactly what we need so we can confess our love and mutual feelings of excitement for marriage before we're allowed to be a girlier, irrational version of our normal, serious selves and post about *gasp* the ring and the proposal!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 12/5/2007 5:16:13 PM
Author: aliciagirl

Date: 12/5/2007 4:55:17 PM
Author: sunnyd
thanks alicia, well put...i didn''t realize that we''re not supposed to dream about the perfect ring on this forum, especially since we''ve already found the perfect guy. we wouldn''t be here otherwise, in theory.

it''s not really about obsessing over the ring, it''s about what the ring means. that''s exciting! besides, there is no ''show me the man'', where we can dicuss our mates and how great they are for everyone to ogle.

Show me the man!! Hahahah.

That''s exactly what we need so we can confess our love and mutual feelings of excitement for marriage before we''re allowed to be a girlier, irrational version of our normal, serious selves and post about *gasp* the ring and the proposal!

lol, i don''t think that would go over well.