I''m stumped

[So_happy]

Okay, creative block...........

What do I do while my FI dances with his mom during thier dance together? My dad passed away 2 yrs ago and I really don''t feel comfortable "replacing" him with any other person during that particular time (too sad for me still) just to be dancing. Also, the only two men I am really that close to in my life are my brother and my fiance. My brother is giving me away which means more to me that he may even realize but dancing that significant dance with him as well??? Well.........he''s still my little brother

and dancing with him would be probably overkill

But I also don''t want FI NOT to have that dance with his mom. How do I make it less apparent that the bride isn''t dancing and/or what do I do while he''s doing his dance?

I thought for one moment that maybe I could dance with my mom? That feels odd, too........plus, to be honest, I''ve never really been THAT close to her anyway.

 

[labbielove]

I am in the same boat. Both of my parents have passed, my mother just 3 months ago and it''s still very raw and painful for me.
I am going to leave it up to FI if he wants a mother/son dance. If so, then that''s fine, if my dad were alive I wouldn''t want to dance with him at that same time anyway. It may be just that the DJ announces that P is dedicating this song to his mom, and invites you all to join in the dancing, so it''s not just them out there alone.

My brother is walking me down the aisle, and I love him to death, but there''s no way I''m doing a special dance with him. He''s not a sub for my dear dad.

If FI doesn''t want a specific mother/son dance he will still end up dancing with his mom anyway, and photogs can capture that moment whether they''re alone on the dance floor or not.

That''s the great thing about weddings, you can do whatever works for you both!

 

[So_happy]

Labbielove~ I''m so sorry to hear of your mom''s recent passing. Indeed, I remember how raw and painful things were at that time. It really does get better, I promise. My heart goes out to you, hon.

I think your idea is a very good one and FI just heard it and also likes it. So, thank you so much! I think we''ll have the MC announce the dedication, as you suggest, and let FI and mom start the dance alone for a minute (the photographer and videographer can get good shots and footage that way) and then invite other couples to join in. We''ll be using "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers which fits so beautifully in with mother/son and also romantic couples.

I still don''t know exactly what I''ll do during that time but maybe I can be at peace for a moment and just watch........I may enjoy that moment of alone-ness. Maybe not? Hmm........

 

[akw94]

So Happy, sorry to hear about your dad!
I think I''m a bit confused. Aren''t the father/daughter dance and the mother/son dance usually different? So if that''s true, wouldn''t you be sitting out while he''s dancing regardless? I figured that if my FI wanted to have the mother/son dance, I''d just sit and watch, as he''d do when I dance w/my dad.
Are these dances usually done at the same time? I guess I assumed not b/c I see all these different music selections for mom/son and dad/daughter vs general music for the parent/child dance.

Sorry for the confusion instead of actual help!

 

[jcrow]

although against it at first, while dh danced with his mom, i surprised FIL and asked him to dance during the same song.
i kinda didn't know what i was going to do either, had i not asked him. in fact i joked about running off to the bathroom

i think this worked out very nicely for us. i completely understand if it's not for everyone.

 

[So_happy]

Dixie~ Y''know what? I think you''re right! They are done separately..........I think. Why did I think they were done at the same time? Maybe I''ve seen it both ways? And selectively chose to forget that one way exsisted???

Jcrow~ That''s a neat idea, too. Sorry if I''m wrong but were you implying your dad has passed as well? So sorry if this is true

But it sounds like you handeled it very well with your impromtu dancing with your FIL.

I would like to find someone to dance with during that song that would provide some meaning for me! It''ll feel like highschool all over again

Can you picture it? No one wants to dance with the girl in the big white dress

waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! heehee

In all seriousness, I really like the idea of inviting anyone who wants to dance to that song up on the floor after FI and MIL have had a minute or two alone out there. Maybe I''ll sneak to the potty for a quick break once most are dancing. Perhaps not dancing with anyone else would be a nice, albeit sad, way to honor my dad, too.

 

[NYCsparkle]

why don''t you request a song for your dad and have your brother and any other siblings dance to it together? a cousin of mine did this and it was nice.

 

[So_happy]

Date: 7/8/2007 11:58:36 PM
Author: NYCsparkle
why don''t you request a song for your dad and have your brother and any other siblings dance to it together? a cousin of mine did this and it was nice.

That also sounds like a lovely idea, thank you.

Alas, I am the only child of my mom and dad. I have a half-brother (the one walking me down the aisle) and half-sister (moh) from my mom''s second marriage. However they never had a chance to meet my dad so the meaning just wouldn''t be there I guess in having them dance with me to a song that would have been for my dad and I. Also, my mom, sis, and bro will all have significant others with them that night and will likely want to dance with them if we do what we want to (open the floor to everyone).

I really don''t see a way around this. I think since I''m thinking of it now that perhaps I''ll prepare myself emotionally for the moment and, hey, who cares if I get a little sad?! I''d feel unlike me if I didn''t anyway. Y''know what? I''m not even going to go "hide" in the bathroom. I want to be there to see my FI dance with his MOM, darn it

That''s not to say that I don''t appreciate the ideas y''all have come up with.........or even any additional ones.........but I''m just saying I think I''ll not try so hard to replace him nor hide from the fact that he''s not going to be there (literally).