In limbo

[CaliCushion]

Hey everyone....reading all of the recent comments about waiting for a proposal made me think ofthis short (about 2 pages) article I''d previously read about timing and waiting for a proposal when you''re ready. I really related to parts of the story and it was one of the things that pushed me to have a big talk with my bf about timing. I actually gave him the article to read (eek!) and I think it helped him to realize what a hard time I was having with waiting and that he''s rather propose sooner than later. He ordered the ring pretty soon after. Just something to think about.....

http://www.aish.com/dating/wisdom/In_Dating_Limbo.asp

While it''s a Jewish site, there''s also some pretty good relationship advice that applies to everyone.

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Wow, that article was so very sad... and frightening. I can relate to certain aspect of the story; I hope I never have to deal with what happened to this persons relationship.

 

[Laurenj915]

If you are a worrier you might not want to read that article. You will spend the day wondering, in vain, your relationship is "overcooked".

 

[Kayakqueen83]

haha That''s me, Lauren!!!! haha

 

[MoonWater]

Hmm, I think that article is lacking too much info to feel sadness. How long were they together, did she ever try to talk to him about it? To me it doesn''t seem like a case of overcooked, it seems like they simply were not suppose to get married. The guy didn''t want to marry her despite what he claimed.

 

[CaliCushion]

Ok, maybe I should have posted that with a warning not to read if you''re a worrier! My situation wasn''t the same, but I related to certain aspects of it and was reminded of how important it is to talk things through with your bf so that your relationship doesnt become overcooked!

 

[jfus]

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/fashion/weddings/17FIELDBOX.html?_r=3&oref=slogin&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

This is another good link..I was once engaged to someone.. planned my whole wedding.. knew in the back of my mind there were a lot of "red flags"..and finally I faced the facts that he was all wrong for me and broke it off.. (best decision I ever made)

Anyway.. shortly after one of my bosses sent me this article he came across. I tucked it away and this post made me just think of it again..

On another note now I am a lady in waiting and I could confidently answer all those questons now..and I have finally found the right guy!

Date: 10/24/2007 2:10:19 AM
Author:CaliCushion
Hey everyone....reading all of the recent comments about waiting for a proposal made me think ofthis short (about 2 pages) article I''d previously read about timing and waiting for a proposal when you''re ready. I really related to parts of the story and it was one of the things that pushed me to have a big talk with my bf about timing. I actually gave him the article to read (eek!) and I think it helped him to realize what a hard time I was having with waiting and that he''s rather propose sooner than later. He ordered the ring pretty soon after. Just something to think about.....


http://www.aish.com/dating/wisdom/In_Dating_Limbo.asp


While it''s a Jewish site, there''s also some pretty good relationship advice that applies to everyone.

 

[tberube]

Ten years, I felt like that...waiting, waiting, waiting. After seven years I left the first guy. We, too, became "overcooked." Then I met someone else and waited almost four years. Again, it was like I couldn''t get on with my life until I had a sparkly thing on my hand and was picking colors for a fall wedding. It''s torture....and does anyone really know why? I mean, nothing changes.....but everything changes. Being a very even-tempered person normally, it''s the strangest feeling I''ve ever experienced.

 

[anchor31]

I felt like this at some point, but I did something to ge out of this situation. Which is why I say to almot every new LIW: "Get a timeframe!!!" Not a deadine, not an ultimatum, just as him what his intentions are timewise so you do have unrealistic expectations. Don''t let it go until you have a clear answer. As soon as my then-BF told me he intended to propose in 2006 (back in Nov. 05... seems like so long ago!), our relationship was right back on track. If I hadn''t asked, waiting the remaining 9 months befre the proposal would have been intolerable.