Invitation Revamp

[FrekeChild]

I think the other thread got deleted because that first image had a last name on it.

Anyway, this is what I had said on the other one:

"Thoughts? Ideas? Revision of wording?"


"Lol. And this is why I posted, because I never would have noticed that. I think it needs to be changed. The question is, what is a good substitute word?

(And is it weird that we're saying "Future elopement"?)"


"Because I am tired of having people inviting themselves. I made it pretty clear to some of FI's family that they aren't invited, and they are talking about going anyway.

Yeah.

I can say marriage, but I'm trying to drive the point of "small wedding/elopment" home."


"Re: why we're not calling it an engagement party: because Miss Manners says that when you invite peeps to the engagement party, you have to invite them to the wedding.

Also, we're downsizing the wedding from 30+ to under 15. People are going to be "uninvited" after getting STDs. Yeah it's $hi+astic.

This party is going to have everyone, probably upwards of 100.

This is more of a pre-reception instead of a post reception. If that makes sense?"

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

No worries.

Considering the baggage that goes along with this, I would approach it differently.

Freke and FI are eloping!
Join us on XX/09 to celebrate and send them off in style!

 

[FrekeChild]

Ok. Good call. Let me see how I can rearrange...

 

[FrekeChild]

Does it look silly with the names in there? Don''t know how to deal with that, or how I feel about it.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Could you move them up above the first line and then have that line just say "are eloping"

 

[newsboysgrl777]

What about "Please join us to celebrate the elopement of..." and then your names in script on the next line?

Or, like another poster said, have your names in script, then on the next line "are eloping!!/Please join us..." ?

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 5/24/2009 2:40:06 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Does it look silly with the names in there? Don''t know how to deal with that, or how I feel about it.

What if you put the scripted blue names as the second line, then the third line says "...are eloping!". Come join us line followed by the time, address, etc. That way your names aren''t repeated?

 

[kama_s]

I''m not a fan of ''future elopement'', since it''s a paradox. BUT, I''m not liking the updated eloping part either, only because it would defeat the purpose of an elopement. Can you say instead:

"to celebrate the future private and intimate wedding of Mr. FC and Ms. FC"

I''m trying to find a way for you to put it in such a way that even your brothers would wonder if they would be invited to the wedding. Can''t put ''family only'' either. If I think of more ideas, I''ll post.

 

[FrekeChild]

Hmmm...I can''t revise the lines unfortunately. Well...let me play with it a little...

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 5/24/2009 2:50:14 PM
Author: kama_s
I''m not a fan of ''future elopement'', since it''s a paradox. BUT, I''m not liking the updated eloping part either, only because it would defeat the purpose of an elopement. Can you say instead:

''to celebrate the future private and intimate wedding of Mr. FC and Ms. FC''

I''m trying to find a way for you to put it in such a way that even your brothers would wonder if they would be invited to the wedding. Can''t put ''family only'' either. If I think of more ideas, I''ll post.

I hope you think of something. This whole wedding thing has become a mess.

Why isn''t there a term for immediate family weddings only?! We''re going to have only his sis, her two sons, her FI, his dad, his dad''s wife, my dad, and about 4 of my super close friends.

 

[VRBeauty]

1) Elopements are generally thought of as weddings performed without prior announcement, so a "pre-elopement" celebration is kind of an oxymoron to me.

2) To me, the phrase, "to send them off in style" could be interpreted as a request for gifts, especially by any invitees who might be looking for an excuse to grumble since they're not being invited the ceremony. An alternative might be, "to send them off with our best wishes" or something along those lines.

3) Personally, I agree with Kama that a different approach altogether is called for in this situation. I'm for the straightforward approach... we've decided to downsize our wedding... however you want to state that. Nothing wrong IMHO with letting people know that you're only inviting immediate family to witness your marriage.

I don't mean to be harsh, I really do wish you all the best. I just think a more straightforward approach will be better for your own peace of mind, and to smooth ruffled feelings and preserve family relationships.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 5/24/2009 4:05:23 PM
Author: VRBeauty
1) Elopements are generally thought of as weddings performed without prior announcement, so a 'pre-elopement' celebration is kind of an oxymoron to me.

2) To me, the phrase, 'to send them off in style' could be interpreted as a request for gifts, especially by any invitees who might be looking for an excuse to grumble since they're not being invited the ceremony. An alternative might be, 'to send them off with our best wishes' or something along those lines.

3) Personally, I agree with Kama that a different approach altogether is called for in this situation. I'm for the straightforward approach... we've decided to downsize our wedding... however you want to state that. Nothing wrong IMHO with letting people know that you're only inviting immediate family to witness your marriage.

I don't mean to be harsh, I really do wish you all the best. I just think a more straightforward approach will be better for your own peace of mind, and to smooth ruffled feelings and preserve family relationships.

The problem with #3, is that less than half of the people invited to this party were originally invited to the wedding in the first place. So if I say that to all 100 invitees to the party, that will look awkward. So really, we're dealing with three groups of people:
1. invited to wedding and party
2. invited to party and uninvited to wedding
3. invited to party

Group two is getting an attached letter from my dad that kind of addresses the situation at hand and makes it clear that this party is the only thing they are invited to. Group 1 already knows of the situation. Group 3 has all of the people who have been inviting themselves to the wedding without knowing when/where it is.

To be honest, FI and I aren't close to our families in the slightest. The only time we see them is when we get invited by our immediate family members to functions that they are at. The people invited to the wedding itself are the ones who are important to us. Those 20+ people who are being uninvited are people that other people thought we should invite or some other awkward situation.

To be brutally honest, I don't really care about hurting anyone's feelings in group 2. There are more people in group 3 that I'm worried about hurting (oldest friend, a couple of aunts that were super close to my mom, etc.) BUT they are also people that are going to understand the situation.

#1--I realize this. Do you have a suggestion of how to get past this?
#2--good point. I'll have to consider that--although my dad's letter has a line (I kid you not) that says "This party is not to collect gifts. However if you do decide to bring a gift, (my cousin) J and I (my dad) will be selling them on ebay to pay for the party." He's joking, and everyone who is getting said letter knows him well and will realize this.

And I didn't think your post was harsh at all!

I think it's a totally poopy situation, and I got myself into it. Now I have to get myself out...

...maybe we should just elope beforehand...

 

[FrekeChild]

How about this?

 

[doodle]

Honestly, I would just elope beforehand, then you can say "Please join us to celebrate the elopement of Freke and Hubby. Yeet, we got married. Where''s the booze?" That EXACT wording. I think it''s really elegant.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

doodle, are you bringing the shot gun?

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 5/24/2009 4:41:52 PM
Author: doodle
Honestly, I would just elope beforehand, then you can say ''Please join us to celebrate the elopement of Freke and Hubby. Yeet, we got married. Where''s the booze?'' That EXACT wording. I think it''s really elegant.

Lol Doodle. That would be a little...off, considering FI doesn''t drink and pretty much everyone knows this.

And elegant it is!

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 5/24/2009 4:46:29 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
doodle, are you bringing the shot gun?

Lol. Shotgun, and a case of Nattie Ice. What what!

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 5/24/2009 4:40:06 PM
Author: FrekeChild
How about this?

I like it -- second only to Doodle''s suggestion!

 

[FrekeChild]

Dangit! Stop tempting me!

 

[honey22]

Date: 5/24/2009 4:40:06 PM
Author: FrekeChild
How about this?

I think this version is less clear Freke. I think it was better when you mentioned something about you guys eloping, so send them off in style kinda thing.

This new version almost implies that there will be another invite to follow KWIM? Some people can be pretty dense, I would spell it out in black and white!

 

[FrekeChild]

I was wondering about that. I give up.

 

[FrekeChild]

Ok. What about this:

Please join us for the party to celebrate
the nuptials of
Freke and Mr. Freke

Details

 

[lala2332]

i would take out "for the party to celebrate" it seems a little redundant to me.


maybe try:

THough the wedding is small,
We want to party with all!

Please join us to celebrate
Freke and FI

That is a really quick attempt at a rhyme that kind of explains the situation. and I like the idea that the party is just a celebration of you and FI, it doesn''t have to have a lable beyond that.

Just my .02

 

[laine]

Date: 5/24/2009 7:45:32 PM
Author: lala2332
THough the wedding is small,
We want to party with all!

Please join us to celebrate
Freke and FI

I like lala''s version!

I would also refer to your wedding as a "private ceremony".

As you said, elopement isn''t right (you''re telling people), family only doesn''t work (you don''t want all of the family), small wedding isn''t enough (it doesn''t clarify who is included/excluded). Private ceremony should indicate a little more strongly (but not rudely) that people aren''t included (unless you specifically invited them). You don''t necesarily have to put it in writing on the party invite, but if you use the phrase to talk about your wedding, maybe it''ll get the point across.

 

[kama_s]

I thought about you all day, I swear. And it came down to two options to put an end to all your stress:

1- Make this an e-party, so your very last format would be perfect. And then send an announcement note to everyone once you have eloped. Really, people can't have hard feelings because it's a done deal at that point. Except ofcourse for those that got the STDs, to them write a longer note explaining why you've downsized the wedding and that you were incredibly happy to have them celebrate with you and D at the e-party.

2- Skip this party alltogether and have your post-elopement party NEXT summer once you've already eloped. This would be easier to explain, not just to your close family and friends, but everyone else who probably would be expecting an invitation after being invited to your celebration party.

If I'm being useless, then just ignore my ramblings!

 

[FrekeChild]

Lol you''re not being useless AT ALL kama!

I WISH we could do it next summer! That would make my life SO MUCH EASIER. Unfortunately my aunt''s (and uncle''s) 50th wedding anniversary is next summer, and she is one of those women that needs a month, or better yet a year, for her parties. Not joking. She assumed that we''d be getting married in 2009 because of this fact. So because this party is mostly my dad''s deal, it''s all of his family that will be coming out for it, and there is a chance they''ll come if there is a year between flying out to NM, but no way will any of them come if there is only a couple of months.

I''m planning on handwriting a note to those who were sent STDs explaining that we''ve had to downsize, using a lot of what was said in my last thread about this same situation. So I''m thinking scenario #1 is the way to go.

Question: Should I then change the top blue part to say "the engagement party" or something else altogether?

 

[laine]

If you call it an engagement party, will everyone know that this is the only party? If I were out of town and got an invite to an engagement party, I might decide to skip it and plan on traveling for the wedding instead (which won't be happening in this case).

Maybe put a line at the bottom noting that "Freke and FI will be married in a private ceremony in August" (or whatever month)

I think I still vote for lala's version though.

 

[FrekeChild]

Yeah, rhyming is not my style.

I think your idea of the line at the bottom would be an interesting touch...

 

[jstarfireb]

I like the "private ceremony" line at the bottom best, like laine mentioned! I''d call it an engagement party and use the bottom line to let people know that it will be the only thing they''re invited to. Just one more suggestion: I wouldn''t even print the wedding date on the invitation, lest they think that this is an invitation to both. Something like this is what I have in mind based on the great suggestions you''ve already heard:

the celebration

please join us in celebrating
the engagement of

Freke and Mr. Freke

date, time, place, etc.

Freke and FI will be married in a private ceremony this summer (or other season, or "in 2010" if that''s when things will happen - not sure when your wedding is b/c I''m bad at keeping up with these things!).

 

[kama_s]

Ahhh yes, I remember you mentioning your aunt before. Personally, I think a wedding trumps 50th wedding anniv, but whatevs!!

I like the idea of calling this an e-party with a small note on the bottom of the invite to say the wedding will be a private ceremony with only immediate family (so people wouldn''t be expecting an invitation). And then, the separate note you are going to write to those cut from the STD list would be perfect. And finally, once you elope, you can send out a wedding announcement.

I hope you find a solution...I can only imagine how much stress this must be giving you.