Invitation Wording Question

[Class n Sass]

I have a question about invitations......my fiance will be graduating from med school a few weeks before the wedding so he will be a doctor at the time of our wedding. On our invitations should his professional Dr. title be included? For example:

Along with their families
Mary Smith
and Dr. Michael Jones
request the honor of your presence.....

You get the idea. Someone told me that his professional title should be left off of the invitation and that once we are pronounced man and wife is when the Dr. comes in. I wasn''t sure if that sounded right so I figured I would ask the experts

 

[ladyciel]

I can't claim to be an expert, but I would tend to agree with the person who told you no Dr. on the invite, but use it at the wedding. Not to suggest that your FI isn't going to finish school as planned, but it COULD be considered presumptuous of you to use his as-yet unearned title, and goodness knows that Miss Manners does not approve of presumptuousness.

Don't worry, nobody is going to give the lack of Dr. on the invite a bit of notice, and it will be abundantly clear at the wedding itself that he is Dr. Groom.

Edit: Now, if "few weeks" is in time to mail your invites out 4-6 weeks before the wedding, and he has his title at the time of the mailing, then it's probably ok to use it.

 

[AceP]

there are two considerations here. the first is the overall invitation wording. the most traditional wording possible includes the man''s title, but not the woman''s:

Mr. and Mrs. Bride''s Father
Request the honour of your presence
At the marriage of their daughter
Bride''s first name bride''s middle name
to
Dr. Groom''s first name middle name last name
etc...

In this wording, the woman is presented as the daughter of the hosts, while the man is presented as a more independent party. Most invitation wording, though, does not include titles for the "kids," only for the parents. Particularly if you''re using both sets of parents'' names, or the "together with our parents" wording. then it doesn''t make sense to use titles for either of you - because you''re both presented as your parents'' kids, if that makes sense. Anyway - my fiance is a doctor, and our invitations don''t have his title on them. they don''t have mine, either.

can you tell i just went through all of these issues??

the other issue is that he''s actually not a doctor *yet.* for that reason alone, i''d say leave it off the invite. it''s not really correct.

 

[Pandora II]

The man''s title should be whatever he is when the invitations are sent out.

The bride has just her first and middle names with no title or surname.


It''s a bit like sending invitations to a couple who are due to marry before your wedding but aren''t when the invitations go out. For example my cousin and his fiancee are getting married the 2nd week of May. My invitations are going out the 1st week, so they will be sent to Dr x and Dr Y, rather than Dr and Mrs X, (although with a married couple, the invitations should have both names on it, but the envelope is addressed only to the wife.)

It is very bad luck to use a woman''s married name before the event. I presume the same applies for qualifications.

 

[Haven]

I can''t recall the specifics, but all of my etiquette books reference this exact situation. I''ll try to remember to post an answer when I get home around 10 PM.

I will say that I would not use the Dr. if he does not have the degree at the time the invites are mailed out. The truth is, I''m not sure if it''s ever proper to use it on a formal invite, at all. I''ll let you know what the etiquette mavens say later!

 

[Class n Sass]

Can''t wait for the info Haven!

 

[Pandora II]

According to Debrett''s:


Mr and Mrs John Smith

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter

Katherine

to

Mr Charles Edward Jones
Dr Charles Edward Jones

On

etc etc

 

[door knob solitaire]

Although I am extremely impressed you snagged a Doctor...

your mother and MY mother are very proud of you!! It is what we were all supposed to do. You apparently paid attention!! Just kidding. You are going to need a giggle to get through this...So chuckle louder!! Good girl.

I know how proud you are of him...and how proud he is of himself....I know he has worked so incredibly hard...YOU ARE MARRING A DOCTOR for goodness sakes!!! But it is MHO that that is a piece of irrelevant information for a wedding invite/announcement before or after the actual decree..

Lets take this further and make a hypothetical situation. He has finished med school and will be a doctor...BUT you have finished Psychology and Neurology and also the Bar at the same time. You guys are going to be charged a fortune in ink! And well, it isn''t a resume...it is an invite. And most people coming already know of his education...Trust me...that is one piece of info your mother is not refraining from mentioning!!

I wouldn''t add it for nothing else...that for the reason you are assuming liability if you do. What if someone chokes at the reception. You have already set the precedence that you are capable with a doctor in the house...think you are opening yourself up for a suit. They can claim they didn''t take their heart medicine because they knew the groom was a doctor. It was after all on the invitation!! OK...just kidding again!!

Don''t know what Emily will tell you...but If you are taking votes...I say not so much. (but Hip Hip Hooray!!! You really can marry a doctor!!!)

DKS-hope you found some humor in that...

 

[musey]

Date: 10/23/2007 4:45:09 PM
Author: door knob solitaire

Lets take this further and make a hypothetical situation. He has finished med school and will be a doctor...BUT you have finished Psychology and Neurology and also the Bar at the same time. You guys are going to be charged a fortune in ink! And well, it isn''t a resume...it is an invite. And most people coming already know of his education...Trust me...that is one piece of info your mother is not refraining from mentioning!!

My thoughts, exactly!

 

[Class n Sass]

I also agree it is more appropriate to leave it out. It really had never crossed my mind; however, his grandmother asked him what the invitations would say. He told her he would ask me since he definitely doesn''t know these things(lol) and he is really generally happy with whatever decision I make.

So when he brought it to me I figured I would ask around since it had never occured to me. I wanted to make sure that I am being "correct."