invitation wording

[glaucomflecken]

my fiance and I are paying for our entire wedding. My mom gave us a few hundred for the cake or whatever we needed, and his mom and dad are paying for the rehearsal dinner, but nothing else. they have given us a hard time about helping out financially and its been the source of many arguments (such as when they say invite this person or that one but dont offer to help pay for their meal) and bad feelings since other family members weddings were paid for in full by the families.

so does that small financial contribution of a few hundred dollars from each family constitute enough "hosting" that we should include their names on the invite, or even "together with our parents"? Im kind of bitter about the whole situation but I still love our families of course. this sounds trite but i dont know if i should give them any credit on the invites for hosting the wedding when we are doing it all, and they know how much we are stressing about paying for the wedding (while paying off loans, saving for a home etc)

what do you think? im really not trying to sound selfish or mean, truly, (of course it hurts us that we are not treated in the same manner as other family members were at their wedding time) but I just dont know what to put on the invites.

thanks

 

[DiamanteBlu]

You may want to consider a neutral wording, one not giving credit for hosting. For instance:

The honor of your participation is requested at the wedding of
PunchNPie75
and
PunchNPie75's FI

at
time
date

at
location

reception immediately following at
location

RSVP

That way you avoid the "so and so requests the honor of your presence at ...." so nobody should be offended.

I just looked at our invitation and this is how it read [more or less!] - beautiful script, fancy paper with layers and bows, etc. I am sure nobody noticed that there was no articulated host. Note: we paid for our wedding [2nd marriage for both and we were in our 40's]. Hope this helps.

Blu.


ETA BTW, my parents paid for my sister's wedding [7 years prior to mine] and when it came to pay for my 1st wedding they only contributed a minimal amount - I [note that I said I, not I and my then FI] had the pleasure of paying for the whole thing - and they didn't even give us a wedding present! [they may have known something I didn't but that's a separate discussion]. Anyway, don't worry about not being treated equally. Go on with your life. You'll do great on your own, I'm sure!

 

[glaucomflecken]

Thanks D! You are right...we will do great on our own and I am pretty proud of how our plans are turning out and our hard work. your wording idea is great!

 

[DiamanteBlu]

Glad I could be of help.

Blu

 

[curlygirl]

I''mpretty much in the same situation. We are paying for the entire wedding ourselves. His parents are doing NOTHING. My parents are paying for the church and the band and I know that they will be giving us a large monetary gift to spend as we would like--they want us to buy a house instead of having a wedding!

I would just as soon leave all of them off the invitation but I feel bad about doing that. So out of respect, we''re going to put them both on:

CURLYGIRL
and
CURLYBOY
together with their parents
Dr. and Mrs. Curlygirl
and
Mr. and Mrs. Curlyboy
request the pleasure of your company
at the celebration of their marriage blah, blah, blah

Something like that. I hope it doesn''t look too busy. We are going to make sure that our names are BIG AND BOLD and our parents names are just the same as the rest of the invite so we can make the point that it''s about US, not them.

Keep us posted. I''d love to hear of some alternative options!

 

[glaucomflecken]

hi curly!
that was my thing too, I love and respect our families too so I hate to "diss" them but you are right we want people to know this is OUR party!

I like how you did your wording too, I think it looks appropriate and I have seen invites like this so its not too busy.