invite wording advice

[jen2M]

We are hoping to print these and wanted to get your wonderful eyes on them to see if your had any advice

Jane Sue
&
John Patrick

Together with their parents

Mr. and Mrs. Jim & Mary Neal &
Mr. and Mrs. George & Nelly Moore

Request the pleasure of your company
as they unite in marriage
Saturday, the nineteenth of November
two thousand and nine
at half past four in the afternoon

Place
104 Main Street
Town, State


Cocktails, dinner & dancing
To follow ceremony




Thanks for taking a look!

 

[VRBeauty]

Jen -- it looks like you're combining several conventions. I think the result is a little confusing. Here are the things that jumped out at me:

Since you are listing yourselves as the hosts and your names come first, it seems awkward to me to me that you and your fiance are listed only by your first and middle names. That makes sense when the standard parents-announcing-the-wedding-of-their-children format is used, but not when you are the ones doing the inviting.

Listing your mothers' given names, in the "Mr. and Mrs." style, is unusual. The more standard approaches are "Jim and Mary Neal," or "Mr. and Mrs. Jim (or James?) Neal" -- no matter how unfair that may be to the female half.

And lastly, requesting "the pleasure of your company" seems to imply that some social interaction will take place, like conversation at a dinner or reception. "The honor of your presence" seems more appropriate for the wedding, where the guests are there mostly as witnesses.

Those are my thought, but -- it's your wedding, not Emily Post's or mine! You have the right to tweak the conventional wording if you want, to make it work for your wedding.

 

[Missy0483]

I did something close to that for mine. Here is a picture (last names blurred). We also used the "request the pleasure of your company" phrase because we are not having our ceremony at a church. I hope this helps!

 

[Haven]

Date: 7/18/2009 10:32:05 PM
Author: VRBeauty

And lastly, requesting ''the pleasure of your company'' seems to imply that some social interaction will take place, like conversation at a dinner or reception. ''The honor of your presence'' seems more appropriate for the wedding, where the guests are there mostly as witnesses.

You should only use "honor of your presence" if the wedding is taking place in a house of worship (church, synagogue, mosque, etc.) It is incorrect to use it for wedding ceremonies taking place in a hotel, garden, private home, or otherwise.

 

[jen2M]

Thanks for the advice. I am trying to get away from the Mr. & Mrs. Jim Neal. That is a tradition that we are just not comfortable with as we want to show total partnership and honor our moms. Is the only proper way to just say Jim and Mary Neal or can I say Mr. & Mrs. Jim and Mary Neal? I can''t find this info anywhere.

Thanks!

 

[mrscushion]

I see what you are saying and I also see what the other posters are saying. I would write the copy as follows:

Jane Sue Neal
&
John Patrick Moore

Together with their parents

Jim & Mary Neal and
George & Nelly Moore

Request the pleasure of your company
at their wedding

Saturday, the nineteenth of November
two thousand and nine
at half past four in the afternoon

Place
104 Main Street
Town, State


Cocktails, dinner & dancing to follow