Invites vs. Show ups

[CaliCushion]

Is there a general rule as to how many people you can expect to come to your wedding vs. how many you invite? I realize that it''s going to vary for each person depending on how many people people are from out of town, etc. How many did you invite to your wedding and how many showed up? Thanks!

 

[kimberlina13]

This is a little different from what you''re asking, but what we did, we took the final number of those that RSVPd as coming and reduced it by 12% for the final counts for the vendors, and that seemed to work out perfectly for us.

 

[basil]

12% of people who RSVP''d as coming didn''t show up?!

 

[labbielove]

My personal opinion is that it really depends on your guest list size and who is on it

We had 74 RSVP and 73 show up (the 1 no show was the 'and guest' of a friend)

Of our 74 guests, 30 were immediate family, leaving only a little over 20 friends (and their significant others) -
that meaning, they were our very close friends- if they hadn't shown after RSVP'ing Yes there would be a really big problem- and i don't mean with the caterer!

If we'd had a larger guest list (like friends of parents, distant cousins, etc. or more single people who's 'guest' ended up not showing) we may have built in a no-show rate into our final counts but I would have panicked there wouldn't be enough food or something- worse yet cause an issue with the caterer as to the $ if more than we said showed ended up showing.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

i''m with labbie on this- it really depends on your guest list. I had a similarly-sized wedding.

we sent out invites for 79 guests, 69 accepted, and we had 3 no-shows. We knew about one of them just days before the wedding, and the other 2 (a couple) just didn''t show (needless to say, we''re no longer close!)

 

[neatfreak]

I agree with Labbie. We invited 40 people, 5 couldn''t make it because it was across the country from them (which we expected all along), and everyone that RSVP''d showed up. If we had the wedding closer everyone would have come that we had invited most likely.

 

[parrot tulips]

Oh my goodness, I totally mis-read your question! Being Korean American, I have to accept that my family''s sense of etiquette will often be a little different from my own. To me, an invitation to Aunt X and Uncle Y would be intended for just them. Aunt X and Uncle Y would interpret it as an invitation to them, my cousins, my cousins'' spouses, and my cousins'' kids, meaning you could potentially have 17 people show up, when you thought you invited 2!

Sorry that wasn''t much of an answer to your question. I suppose it depends a lot on your type of guest list. If it''s strictly very close friends and family, I would expect a higher percentage to show up (most, if not all), but if you start including people that are a little farther removed from your life (Aunt Gertie''s best friend''s daughter who used to babysit you when you were just a wee thing...), it''s probably going to get more iffy.

 

[ponderer]

Yup, 10% of RSVP yes did not show.

 

[ponderer]

If you are wondering how many actual invites will respond with a yes, I think that varies by how big you wedding is and how well you know the people you are inviting.

We made an initial guest list of people we thought we should send an invite to, and another list of people we thought would actually show up. We invited 300 (so that no one would be offended) thought about 110 would actually come. 100 RSVP''d yes, and then 10 did not show.

 

[somethingshiny]

We invited 160 people (with actual invitations). Most of them attended the ceremony, but our reception ended up with well over 200 people. We figured we''d have a lot of crashers because we both came from small towns, though. And we were prepared!

 

[Pandora II]

I''m inviting 120, and there are 6 who I think might not be able to come as they are all very old - if they can''t I have a B list so no problem.

Unless there is a major crisis/illness I will be very surprised if there are any no-shows. Everyone coming is either close family or close friends.

 

[CaliCushion]

Ack! Sorry, my question was totally confusing. I mean to ask how many people RSVP''d yes vs. how many people you invited. I expect everyone that RSVP''s yes to show up, unless of an emergency or sickness.

 

[somethingshiny]

everyone who rsvp''d came. I think if you want a "formula" of how many guests will arrive, you''re not gonna find one. YOU know the people on your guest list. Would "aunt pamela" rsvp and then not show up?

 

[cara]

You need to make a spreadsheet and give everyone a "score" that is your estimate of how likely it is for that person to come, such as:

1 = absolutely coming
.8 = probably coming
.5 = maybe
.2 = unlikely
0 = absolutely not coming

Then add up the scores and this is your estimated attendance.

This method really helps because as you look at the list you will immediately know that some people are likely to come (ie. my mom) and some are not (my cousin that lives across the country with small kids and no $).

The average acceptance percentage will really vary depending on the wedding. At my cousins wedding, most everyone was local an she had almost 90% of her invitees attend. For my wedding, over half of the invitees lived across the country and many local invitees were potentially on call - we got around 55% acceptance. If you throw a destination wedding on a tropical island, you might get well under 50% attendance if your guests are poor or not big travelers, but over 50% attendance if they have money and flexibility.

ETA: OK, this doesn't consider people bringing extras! Maybe Korean uncles get a score of 5, and singles you suspect will bring a date get a score of 1.5, oh my!

 

[ladyciel]

This hasn't been tested yet since FI and I won't wed until next Sept, but we're using the following to estimate our guest list. We're making 3 lists from the total list of people who will be invited. One is the definite yeses - those we are pretty sure will come. Then, the maybes that could go either way but we really aren't sure about, and finally those who we really doubt will come. We're estimating our final count by taking all of the yeses and adding half of the maybes. So, of our 120 invites, we think 50 are yeses, 50 are maybes, and 20 are no, giving us a final estimate of 75. We were lucky and found a venue that can accommodate groups of 50-120, so we have plenty of wiggle room. Our maybe list is really high because my family is scattered all over the continent, many with kids, and we don't expect many of them will travel. I met my grandfather a total of two times (other than as a baby) before he passed away when I was a teenager, if that gives you an idea of how much visiting occurs.

ETA: Cara, I really like your method! We must have been typing at the same time.

 

[Harleigh]

We are having a destination wedding in Maui at a venue that has limited space. We are hoping for no more than 40 people total, but we invited 55.

On the RSVP cards, I personalized each one indicating that we had saved 2 seats in their honor.

The guests then had room to indicate that ___ of 2 guests would be attending, etc...

On the welcome letter I included in the Invitation Box, it was also indicated that the wedding in Maui is for adults only, but that we would love for the entire family to join us at our wedding reception a few weeks later.

It seems to be working, and no one seems to be offended or adding on unnecessary guests yet, thank goodness!

 

[Rhea]

More people showed up than RSVPed for us. Several friends and family (cousins and great uncles so not "close" family in my opinion) thought that we knew that they were going to come - um, no, that''s why I asked you to RSVP!

US wedding - all who RSVPed came, there was one swap of family member who couldn''t come for family member who could but the numbers were the same. Both had been invited originally so it wasn''t an issue at all.

UK wedding - 17 RSVPs yes, 22 showed up. With a wedding that small you really need exact numbers!! We didn''t have enough seating in either the registry office where we got married or the place we had dinner.