Is it tacky to have menu prices?

[jaz464]

My wedding is a DW in the Bahamas in Sept. There will be just about 25 guests. For both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding dinner, we are going to 2 different very nice restaurants. You know the type: jackets required, nothing on the menu for under $50 etc. We do not have a special menu set up, so guests will be free to order off of the regular menus at both of the restaurants. I don't really like the idea of our guests looking at the prices on the menu. I want people to order the $150 lobster if they want it and not the $50 chicken breast. I also want people to know that we will be paying without actually coming out and announcing it. I am sure people will assume we are paying for the wedding dinner but they may not be sure about the rehearsal dinner. Afterall, at most weddings, you are not handed a menu with prices on it. I don't want them to look at the prices because it is quite expensive and I don't want them thinking we are showing off by taking them there or something like that. And it just seems tacky. I am thinking about trying to get some menus printed up that don't have prices on them. I don't know if I can get this done or not, as these are very fancy places with long menus that are more than 2 pages long. It would be a big undertaking to get this done. And probably expensive. Do you think it is okay to use the regular restaurant menus? What would you think if you were a guest at our wedding? I have not seen this question asked before because most weddings are not set up this way so I could really use some advice.

 

[Mara]

Can you get a digital copy of the menus OR get a copy of the menus and scan them in, then use photoshop to edit out the menu prices then reprint your own ''menus'' for your rehearsal dinner and the wedding? On special paper, whatever, and then the restaurant could hand these out to everyone rather than using the typical menu? This is what I would try to do. I do agree that if I went to a wedding and it had prices on it (a) we''d be confused as to who pays and/or what is going on and (b) if we knew that you guys were paying we''d feel compelled to get lower cost items. So if you don''t want either of that happening, I''d do something customized that is clear in a tactful way about you guys paying *and* has no pricing on it. Doesn''t seem impossible...esp considering I would probably be customizing the menus anyway for my rehearsal/wedding and just ask the restaurant to pass them out to my guests rather than giving them the real menu.

 

[JulieN]

They should be happy to have menus without prices for you.

 

[jaz464]

Do you think so Julie? That would be great. I just contacted my wedding planner to check that out for me so I should hear back early next week.

 

[JulieN]

i can't imagine they wouldn't do it... it's so easy and not expensive to print them up and put them in menu covers.

 

[diamondfan]

One, I would make sure the invitation reads Please be our guest for a rehearsal dinner at X place and time...this implies you are paying for the dinner. (meaning the stuff you send to the guests should include information about the dinner the evening before, maybe on a separate sheet, so the guests can plan accordingly and know all that is planned for their time there). AS for the wedding dinner, esp. if you have a menu without a price on it, I think they would figure you are hosting them for that.

Two, absolutely I would ask to have special menus done, with something on the flyleaf stating "A dinner celebration in honor of (or to celebrate) the marriage of Blank and Blank.

If they will not do it for you, I would see about doing it...because I agree some people might be very price conscious and while that is commendable, I would think you want everyone to have what they would like and not worry about it! JMHO, for what it is worth! Have an awesome time!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 7/15/2006 9:57:42 PM
Author: JulieN
They should be happy to have menus without prices for you.

This has never been a problem for any place I''ve asked to do it. Just ask.

 

[flopkins]

I know if I was a guest I would prefer to have a menu w/o prices on it. It would make me uncomfortable to order a $150 lobster if I KNEW it was $150 but if it was just a choice on a list then I probably wouldn''t mind as much. I dunnos, that''s just how I work personally.

I don''t know how many guests you have, but I would consider talking w/the restuarant on the custom menus, or even select a few entrees that the guests might like and have a short menu printed up, ya know?

 

[blodthecat]

Hi,

I live in the UK and i don't understand what a rehersal dinner is

It's like having a rehersal for Christmas dinner? Or like inviting people to a meal for your birthday, and having a rehersal the week before

What are you rehersing? Your wedding day is a "one off" special event. People get together, and it's spontaneous and exciting.

Blod

 

[jaz464]

Thanks for the replies everyone, especially diamondfan. That is just what I will do to make sure that people will know we are paying for the rehearsal dinner.

Blodthecat, a RD is simply a dinner that takes place after the wedding rehearsal. It is almost always the day/evening before the wedding. All of the wedding party and anyone included in the ceremony comes to the ceremony site and walks through how things will go. You figure out how people will line up and the timing for certain things that you may be doing during the ceremony. It is just a practice to make sure everyone knows what they are doing and when. Afterwards, you typically have some kind of a meal.

 

[bee*]

I was thinking the same Blod-in Ireland we never have a rehearsal dinner, everyone just shows up on the wedding day

 

[diamondfan]

I think now with a destination wedding especially, it is wonderful and thoughtful to have more than just the wedding to go to , since people are taking the time and making an effort to be there for you. I have gone to events where I take an entire weekend and go to a place I do not know well, and due to timing, I have to get there the day before...and there is nothing planned...so I am trying to make a plan to keep myself occupied that night...not easy...so I always appreciate having a nice plan in place...just makes for a full weekend of fun!

 

[firebirdgold]

It wasn''t all that long ago that fancy restaurants would only give menus with prices to the men. In fact I remember this happening when I was a kid during vacations in Europe, my father would be the only one with the prices!

I wouldn''t worry at all about asking the restaurants to hand out menus without prices. Not only do they probably print them out on their laser printer in the back, but at a place that pricey I''m betting they''ve been asked for them before.

Sounds like super fun!

 

[ponderer]

Jazmine,

Whether or not you are able to get a hold of menus without prices I am fairly certain that your guests will figure out that they will not be expected to pay.

Primarily because the rehearsal dinner is tradionally a hosted event and because you have so few guests. I am sure that the word will get around in due fashion without the need for a formal announcement.

But I do think the priceless menu is a splendid idea whether or not you have to do it yourself.

 

[cpster]

Jazmine...first off I think you are being very thoughtful for thinking about this. I do think that handing out menus with prices could confuse guests especially since it's a destination wedding and I imagine that some of the guests are paying their own way there.

If the menu is really long, maybe you could select a number of the more yummy dishes for everyone to choose from? It could help you control costs too if it's a concern at all.

 

[Fancy605]

I agree! It''s a great idea to try to get menues without the prices. That way no one feels imposing. It''s very good of you to take your guests into consideration like this.

 

[jaz464]

I just heard back from my wedding planner. The restaurant can do menus for us for $2 a piece without prices. I was kind of hoping that they had them already made up but this way I can have them done in our wedding colors and with our monogram on the top so that will be nice. And she will take care of it so I won''t have to worry about getting them printed or doing it myself.