Is LOVE Real???
- Thread starter nbee
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... and not new - even on PS there are a couple of posts to testify: one ring returned to the seller, others being sold or considered for buying after intended use failed.
If anyone knows what love is, send it to me! I have no idea: they do not teach this in school (at least in the business or econ departments they don't). One thing seems clear: whatever love is, it surely goes away
strmrdr
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Love isnt a delicate rose, love is a weed.
True love is like a weed in the yard
sometimes it popes up quickly
sometimes it grows so slow you don't realize what it is
there are a lot of forces trying to uproot it but
it sends its roots deep
and even when badly bruised
it comes back stronger than ever
because true love is forever
copyright all rights reserved :}
True love is like a weed in the yard
sometimes it popes up quickly
sometimes it grows so slow you don't realize what it is
there are a lot of forces trying to uproot it but
it sends its roots deep
and even when badly bruised
it comes back stronger than ever
because true love is forever
copyright all rights reserved :}
finerthings
Brilliant_Rock
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Oh dear, I'm so sorry, you sound like you are in such pain. Yes, your heart will heal, but it will take time. Unfortunately you must go through the grieving before you can move on. Take each day one at a time, and know that you will get through this. I know that you are hurting now, but it is better that you know it wasn't meant to be now than after a wedding and kids etc. You will find your soul mate,...I think that is what love is, it's a wonderful feeling of comfort in just being with the person that completes you. Take care.
Heyjud
Shiny_Rock
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Love is real and you will heal!
At the second of birth
Your soul split in two
Half went to your soulmate
The other half - to you
Someday - somehow
These halfs will meet
When you are unaware
That's when you'll know that this is so
That's when TRUE love you'll share
Even though you're hurting now
LOVE IS REAL - and you will see
Things happen for a reason
Some things are MEANT TO BE!
Married 32 years...it doesn't get more REAL than that!
At the second of birth
Your soul split in two
Half went to your soulmate
The other half - to you
Someday - somehow
These halfs will meet
When you are unaware
That's when you'll know that this is so
That's when TRUE love you'll share
Even though you're hurting now
LOVE IS REAL - and you will see
Things happen for a reason
Some things are MEANT TO BE!
Married 32 years...it doesn't get more REAL than that!
Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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Poetic at times, I am still not one to go for the soul splitting; "forever and ever" talk... I think that Love is something that like life and any other thing takes work.
In the beginning was HEAD OVER HEELS for a period, but then of course, things got REAL...but that feeling never ends...that happiness and fulfillment, it just gets interrupted every so often by the annoyances of someone leaving their shoes anywhere, having to deal with laundry, whose turn is it to clean up, that annoying sound someone makes, etc...
Little arguments, big arguments will happen. It's when you are so mad at the other person and you STILL can't imagine being without them that you know you love them. Love in a vacuum is nothing but an ideal. Love in adversity is a trial in fire. If you have something that is strong enough to keep you happy and make you smile, even when outside (or inside) problems test your relationship, and your commitment to each other, then that's real love.
I have been to weddings that lasted longer than the marriages…I have also seen (few) marriages that last for years and years and the couple still respects and longs for the other. For me, I would rather have my best friend be at my side for the rest of my life, than some ideal “soul mate”…Flowery words always make me cautious, because so many people fall in love with the IDEA of love, and not with the person. Differences arise, and if you can weather those and still love and respect each other, then that’s a best friend who’s worth, marrying and spending “eternity” with…(happily)
I think marriage is accepting someone warts and all, and then being able to work out some of the issues creatively so that compromise on either side doesn’t change the person too much. Remember, that’s the person you “fell in love” with, and having realistic expectations of change on either side is helpful, as well as knowing yourself well enough to know your strengths, weaknesses and ability to change on certain subjects… Ahhh, ain’t love grand?!
In the beginning was HEAD OVER HEELS for a period, but then of course, things got REAL...but that feeling never ends...that happiness and fulfillment, it just gets interrupted every so often by the annoyances of someone leaving their shoes anywhere, having to deal with laundry, whose turn is it to clean up, that annoying sound someone makes, etc...
Little arguments, big arguments will happen. It's when you are so mad at the other person and you STILL can't imagine being without them that you know you love them. Love in a vacuum is nothing but an ideal. Love in adversity is a trial in fire. If you have something that is strong enough to keep you happy and make you smile, even when outside (or inside) problems test your relationship, and your commitment to each other, then that's real love.
I have been to weddings that lasted longer than the marriages…I have also seen (few) marriages that last for years and years and the couple still respects and longs for the other. For me, I would rather have my best friend be at my side for the rest of my life, than some ideal “soul mate”…Flowery words always make me cautious, because so many people fall in love with the IDEA of love, and not with the person. Differences arise, and if you can weather those and still love and respect each other, then that’s a best friend who’s worth, marrying and spending “eternity” with…(happily)
I think marriage is accepting someone warts and all, and then being able to work out some of the issues creatively so that compromise on either side doesn’t change the person too much. Remember, that’s the person you “fell in love” with, and having realistic expectations of change on either side is helpful, as well as knowing yourself well enough to know your strengths, weaknesses and ability to change on certain subjects… Ahhh, ain’t love grand?!
glitterata
Ideal_Rock
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I'm with Nicrez. I don't believe in unique soulmates. I believe in compromise and commitment.
There are many, many, MANY people you could be happy with, not just one. You just both have to want it and mean it and make sacrifices for it. If she wasn't willing to do that this time--or if you weren't--that doesn't mean it won't happen later on, with someone else.
There are many, many, MANY people you could be happy with, not just one. You just both have to want it and mean it and make sacrifices for it. If she wasn't willing to do that this time--or if you weren't--that doesn't mean it won't happen later on, with someone else.
finerthings
Brilliant_Rock
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Actually, writing this down on a public forum like this is no small thing: the 180 days must have been good for something.
Nicrez... do I detect a bit of Romanian common-sense-definition-of-love in there! This would Basically be folclore around here with most of this nation of mine would sobscribing to your theory by default. And so does this young and inexperienced person
Nicrez... do I detect a bit of Romanian common-sense-definition-of-love in there! This would Basically be folclore around here with most of this nation of mine would sobscribing to your theory by default. And so does this young and inexperienced person
Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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Agreed Glitterata...
Well, I believe that fate brings two people together, and perhaps dictates the outcome a bit, but there is always work on both sides. So many factors and "issues" make something as ideal as "soul mates" too impossible a notion.
When we grow up with odd parents, or missing parents, we ALL get some sort of biases, misnotions, "issues", and bizarre wasy of acting and reacting. Some people are spoiled, some selfish, some total doormats, some are wavering, some are extremely one track minded. Now take all those persnality "quirks" and put them together, there are bound to be problems!
But those problems also are compunded by timing. If you haven't resolved your "personal issues" and think that becuase you are lonely/unhappy/unfulfilled, a "soulmate" will "complete" you, you ARE SO WRONG!!! I have seen a friend get married to be "married" and literally within the year she was divorced... "he changed..." she would say...or maybe she didn't really look hard enough?
Know what you want, know what you can offer, know what you can change yourself, and know what "forever" means...and what hard work is...
Well, I believe that fate brings two people together, and perhaps dictates the outcome a bit, but there is always work on both sides. So many factors and "issues" make something as ideal as "soul mates" too impossible a notion.
When we grow up with odd parents, or missing parents, we ALL get some sort of biases, misnotions, "issues", and bizarre wasy of acting and reacting. Some people are spoiled, some selfish, some total doormats, some are wavering, some are extremely one track minded. Now take all those persnality "quirks" and put them together, there are bound to be problems!
But those problems also are compunded by timing. If you haven't resolved your "personal issues" and think that becuase you are lonely/unhappy/unfulfilled, a "soulmate" will "complete" you, you ARE SO WRONG!!! I have seen a friend get married to be "married" and literally within the year she was divorced... "he changed..." she would say...or maybe she didn't really look hard enough?
Know what you want, know what you can offer, know what you can change yourself, and know what "forever" means...and what hard work is...
sumi
Brilliant_Rock
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On 3/29/2004 12:17:52 PM Nicrez wrote:
Flowery words always make me cautious, because so many people fall in love with the IDEA of love, and not with the person.
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I totally agree. So many people fall for this idealized notion of love and marriage that (IMO) really does not exist. I don't believe in ONE soulmate, I believe there are many people in this world that you are compatable with, all of whom could probably make you happy. The beauty of marriage (or any committed relationship) is that you realize this person is not the only one that you will ever be attracted to, yet you dedicate your lives to each other. You realize that there will probably be some temptation ahead in your lives together, yet you make a promise to stay loyal to one person. To me, that notion of marriage is actually so much more romantic that the idea of one soulmate. I mean, how easy would it be to stay married forever if there was only one person in the world meant for you?
I've only been married for a little over a year, but I figured out real quick that it's not a happyily-ever-after deal. (I figured that out before we got married, when we first moved in together). Sometimes this person is going to drive you absolutely nuts! Nobody can annoy me like my husband because he knows me so well, he knows exactly which buttons to push. Nobody makes me happier either. Someone once told me that love is like waves. You go through high times when you feel like you are sooooo in love, and you go through low times when you're just not feeling it at all. The trick is to make sure that you both don't hit a low at the same time.
NBEE: I have seen people go through the darkest times of their lives and get through it. I know someone who was betrayed by their spouse of 15+ years, and another person who was betrayed by their spouse of 30 years and they both came through it a more vibrant and exciting person. It took both of them close to 5 years to heal, and I'm sure there's still some pain there. You'll get through it. I know it doesn't feel that way now, but you will. Not to sound cheesey, but I really believe that when you hit bottom there is nowhere to go but up.
Mara
Super_Ideal_Rock
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The darkest times will always pass. Hang in there and stay strong. We are born into this world alone and will die alone as well. No one can journey with you to all places. One of the most important things in life is to learn to appreciate being alone with yourself. Maybe that is this time for you. You will be lucky enough to find love again, best wishes for the future, and keep your chin up.
winyan
Brilliant_Rock
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I think, that love is knowing people change.
But love doesn't change, even if the object of it has.
People are a bit like grass, they grow, they wither, sometimes revitalize, sometimes die. Sometimes they are overtaken by weeds, sometimes by wildflowers, but through it all, our ability to stay by them, even if not with them, is what makes us human.
win
But love doesn't change, even if the object of it has.
People are a bit like grass, they grow, they wither, sometimes revitalize, sometimes die. Sometimes they are overtaken by weeds, sometimes by wildflowers, but through it all, our ability to stay by them, even if not with them, is what makes us human.
win
finerthings
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I never said that there is only one person out there for you. I think that some are confusing how to make a healthy marriage work with the question that was asked...what exactly is this intangable thing called "love" and is it "real?"
Nbee, it sounds like you have been suffering a long time and that is not good. Maybe you should speak to someone professionally. They will be able to help you with the grieving process, and help you through this very hard time. Take care.
Nbee, it sounds like you have been suffering a long time and that is not good. Maybe you should speak to someone professionally. They will be able to help you with the grieving process, and help you through this very hard time. Take care.
Nicrez
Ideal_Rock
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Alright, I notice a flair for DRAMA? How old are you? How long where you together? How well did you know her? So many considerations, but even thought you could have been together for YEARS, etc, I think you are more happy to be reveling in the victim mode and how miserable your situation is.
Accept things as they are, and consider the tragedy it could have been if you DID get married, have children and THEN things went really bad!!! I just had to help a friend out with a divorce for a marriage of under a year, and you know what? That was the most expensive $30K display of NOTHING she spent on a sham of a marraige, she could have avoided if she thought first.
If this lady doesn't want to be with you, shouldn't you be GLAD she did it now? You are meant to be happy in another time and with another person, so accept that as well, and go on with your life and build it (not around a woman) but around who you are and your new life without her. We all have heart breaks. Sadly, these things will happen, but they always have a way of being what's best for us in the long run. Count your blessings instead of your woes! Get up, dust yourself off and get cracking on living your life!
dbgaap
Brilliant_Rock
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About broken hearts-
I had a real bad broken heart about 5 years ago.
That pain streched my heart way out.
It made my heart bigger.
Do everything you can to feel better AND let time do its' job, too.
A big heart it holds a lotta love.
Survive the heartbreak. Eventually, you can flourish again. And the gift will be true appreciation of finding a good new mate.
When we connect mentally, emotionally & physically does that add up to a soul mate? They are just words. You can define soul mate however you want.
Love is real and it's a lot bigger than any one individual. If we can nurture it and care for it, we get to keep it in our lives. We get to share the miracle of love.
It's there for you now (look, you are getting kind messages from strangers!! that counts!)
Put one foot in front of the other.
Keep going ...
OK, everybody back to those angles and percentages!!~!
I had a real bad broken heart about 5 years ago.
That pain streched my heart way out.
It made my heart bigger.
Do everything you can to feel better AND let time do its' job, too.
A big heart it holds a lotta love.
Survive the heartbreak. Eventually, you can flourish again. And the gift will be true appreciation of finding a good new mate.
When we connect mentally, emotionally & physically does that add up to a soul mate? They are just words. You can define soul mate however you want.
Love is real and it's a lot bigger than any one individual. If we can nurture it and care for it, we get to keep it in our lives. We get to share the miracle of love.
It's there for you now (look, you are getting kind messages from strangers!! that counts!)
Put one foot in front of the other.
Keep going ...
OK, everybody back to those angles and percentages!!~!
Rand_alThor
Rough_Rock
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strmrdr
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Nbee... why the verses?
make it six years, and two continents and I could fill in the blanks. If you lived among people who travel allot, this would be daily gossip - same story, different names all the time.
A story known is always useful. A story is best known when lived through. Does this sound strange? It feels strange too...
make it six years, and two continents and I could fill in the blanks. If you lived among people who travel allot, this would be daily gossip - same story, different names all the time.
A story known is always useful. A story is best known when lived through. Does this sound strange? It feels strange too...
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