Is this weird?

[wishinpink]

I''m new to the wedding planning thing... and I have a huge headache!


I found the PERFECT reception venue that I LOVE but it only holds 120 guests.

We were planning on inviting like 250 people to the wedding though!

Ours is a sunday wedding- Is it okay etiquette to invite everyone (250 ppl) to a 2:30 PM wedding at a church, serve light hor d''eurves and play some games and end the wedding? Probably be out of there by 6. Then have the reception at 7:30 and only invite the 120 guests that are closest to us?

Or should I just give up on my dream place? =(

 

[Structenggirl]

I wouldn''t do it. The people not invited are surely going to find out, and those that are invited have to hang around for 5+ hours for the reception to start. I''d either cut my guest list to fit into the reception space or find another venue. Also, this is just me, but if I wanted my reception to start at 7pm, I''d have the wedding around 5pm.

 

[Po10472]

If you want your dream venue and it only holds 120, then you can only have 120 guests, simple as that. If I were one of the other 130 guests invited to the wedding, given a couple of snacks and then sent on my way only to hear that another 120 were at a full bhunna reception, I''d be hurt and insulted.

You will have to compromise sadly.

 

[bee*]

Date: 6/14/2009 3:59:51 AM
Author: Po10472
If you want your dream venue and it only holds 120, then you can only have 120 guests, simple as that. If I were one of the other 130 guests invited to the wedding, given a couple of snacks and then sent on my way only to hear that another 120 were at a full bhunna reception, I''d be hurt and insulted.


You will have to compromise sadly.

I agree. I think either you have to limit your guest list or find a new venue.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 6/14/2009 4:06:05 AM
Author: bee*

Date: 6/14/2009 3:59:51 AM
Author: Po10472
If you want your dream venue and it only holds 120, then you can only have 120 guests, simple as that. If I were one of the other 130 guests invited to the wedding, given a couple of snacks and then sent on my way only to hear that another 120 were at a full bhunna reception, I''d be hurt and insulted.


You will have to compromise sadly.

I agree. I think either you have to limit your guest list or find a new venue.

YUP.

You aren''t talking about 10% over venue capacity. You are talking over 100% over venue capacity. No way. Keep looking or cut back that guest list.

 

[wishinpink]

I think I should''ve given a bit more background! Thank you for all your advice so far though! Tell me if this changes your mind?

I grew up in this one church basically all my life. Some people at church I consider my close friends, and the rest of them I consider my friends. However, as you can imagine, I cannot invite the whole church to fit into the reception venue for dinner. My mother wanted my fiance and I to come back and have a separate reception for church people, but I don''t want to come back and have it because it''s like we already got married, and they clearly weren''t invited, and now we''re having an appetizers-type reception for all of them and they didn''t even see my wedding.

The plan is to find a big and pretty church building- invite all our friends and acquaintances that come and offer a afternoon reception afterward. Yes, it wouldn''t be dinner but there would be appetizers. We''d have cake, do bouquet and garter toss, slide show, and take pictures. A lot of the typical wedding stuff! This would be from 2:30- 5:30.

Then my fiance and I would go take professional pictures with the photographer - (I don''t want him to see me b4 the ceremony!).

Then we''d have the dinner "reception" for our relatives and closest friends at another location at around 7:30 PM.


Yes people might get offended that they weren''t invited to the second reception, but I feel like, if it were me, I''d rather be invited than not invited at all. Already people are asking me- When''s the wedding, we''re invited right? And some of them are just "friends" by nature that we all grew up together in the same church. Everyone in my church hangs out with everybody regularly... so in that aspect we''re "friends." We all go to each others'' birthday parties, events, etc, but outside of the group, we don''t necessarily hang out one-on-one. It would be shocking for me not to invite these people. Also, my fiance''s dad is a business person- and he has lots of his "friend-acquaintances" to invite. But not necessarily for dinner!

We are trying to show we care about our church and all of our more distant friends by having them come to our wedding and offering an afternoon reception. I feel like, having a dinner afterwards would just be extra. Would it help if I renamed the dinner to "send-off dinner" or something that doesn''t have the word "reception" in it? Since the afternoon one comes with a "reception" as well?


On the other hand- people I would actually want to pay for a $100 dinner for, are people that I would hang out with one-on-one, would call on the phone to chat, and people I see outside of group hanging out events. These are the people I would invite to dinner.

Actually, someone at my church has done this before- I was invited for her wedding and reception, but not for her dinner reception. However, I thought it was really sweet of her to invite me to the wedding! I understood that she and I weren''t close enough for me to be at the dinner reception, but I enjoyed the wedding and it didn''t seem too weird to me.

does this change your opinions?

 

[wishinpink]

The other background-

What if the "dinner reception" were only for family and people who helped out in the wedding? Does that make it better? Then I can just have all of my close friends that I want there help out with some aspect of the wedding- and not offend people because I have a strict criteria for selection?

Other background- my relatives alone will be 40, plus 20 family friends, and 50 of fiance''s parent''s family friends. That means he and I only get like 10-30 friends, which shouldn''t be too offensive? I mean.. people should know if they are my best friends or not?


The place can hold 120-150 ish. It''s not 120 set in stone.