Is Valentine's Day a "Hallmark holiday"?

[partgypsy]

As I referenced before, my husband other than Halloween is not really into holidays. I should be used to it by now, but for example when I asked him if we are doing anything for Valentine's day he said he was working (it seems with relief) and even if he wasn't it's a "Hallmark holiday" i.e. made up to sell things. (He says the same for Mother's day).

What is the consensus on Valentines? Do people a) still celebrate it personally with their loved one even if no longer "dating" or newlywed, or b) it exists in a commercialized sense to sell stuff, best to be ignored? c) depends on the couple.
I guess i'm someone who likes celebrating holidays and he doesn't, and this has caused friction. It's gotten to the point he doesn't celebrate our anniversary either.

 

[Circe]

Is Valentine's Day a "Hallmark holiday"?

I feel like I repost this almost every year, but I also continue to think it is AWESOME, so first I will repost it, and then I will provide my own perspective below. Essay by author Cat Valente , copied from a post to her blog lo these many years ago:

"I have never understood the desire to stomp all over Valentine's Day and snuff it out. Every year I look over my friends' list and it's a litany of "This is a fake Hallmark holiday and no one should celebrate it" and "I hate this day, who's with me?" and my personal favorite guilt trip: "If you REALLY loved your partner, you'd treat them specially every day."

I don't get it. I don't understand the fervor to destroy a holiday. To force others to see it through the same black glasses. To shame anyone who celebrates the 14th with anything other than bile, vitriol, and the occasional superior sneer.

I know that most of us were shunned on Valentine's Day in school. Believe me, my little cubby was empty, just like yours, and I yearned for a construction paper heart from boy after boy--and never got them. I understand that there is a history of trauma, and the standard geek reaction to past trauma is to organize the world so that there is no chance of that trauma re-occurring. Thus, Valentine's Day must be killed.

But here's the thing. This world is a beautiful place, but it is also often dark, and cold, and unfeeling, and life slips by, not because it is short, but because it is so difficult to hold onto. Holidays, rituals, these things demarcate the time. They remind us of the sharpness of pleasure and the nearness of death. They tell us when the sun leaves, and when it comes back. They tell us to dance and they tell us to sleep. They tell us who we are, who we have been since we lived on the savannah and hoped to taste cheetah before we died. I know we're all punk rock rebels, but the paleolithic joy of ****ing in the fields and dancing around a fire doesn't go away just because certain of us would like to think we're beyond that. This world needs more holidays, not less. More ritual, the gorgeous, flexible, non-dogmatic kind that isn't about religion but about ecstasy in the sheer humanness of our bodies and souls. More chances to reach out, to sing, to love, to bedeck ourselves in ritual colors and become splendid as the year turns around.

And no, I'm sorry. It doesn't work to say "make every day special." First of all, most of you know damn well that you don't shower your partner with gifts and adoration and that most precious of things: dedicated, mindful time every day of the year. Even the best relationship is not a 24/7 orgiastic festival of plenty and perfect moments. No human can sustain it. If every day is special, none of them are. If every day is special, specialness becomes monotony. What makes days special is the time between, the anticipation of a the day, the planning, the surprises, coming together, cooking, playing, reveling in sheer time, watching the dedicated colors and rituals that wire our brain for pleasure spring up in the world to remind us that we live in it. The entire purpose of holidays is that they are a kind of otherworld we step into, full of special symbols, that informs and shapes everyday life--and some of life, no matter how some bloggers would like to deny it in their Grinchitude, is always everyday.

We celebrate the harvest. We celebrate the spring. We celebrate birthdays and death-days and the beginning of the year and the end of the year. We celebrate our parents and labor and Presidents. What in the world is so terribly wrong with celebrating love? I know not all of us have partners, but it is a rare soul who is without love of any kind. What kind of shrunken, sour heart does it take to insist that everyone else stop delighting in ritual and love? So few of us post about the magic of holidays--I think they're ashamed to. It's not cool to take unabashed pleasure in the silly and the soft-hearted.

As for the commercialism of it--well. It is commercial. So is every holiday, yet somehow we don't stomp all over Easter the way we tar and feather Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is no more a fake holiday than any other. If I hear someone call it a Hallmark holiday I'm actually going to scream. I'm only going to say this once:

Valentine's Day, boys and girls, entered the Western mind in Chaucer's Parlement of Foules, fully-realized as a day to celebrate love via an obscure saint, with red hearts and everything. Yes, celebrated in an allegorical bird-nation, but guess what? That makes it even more awesome. I will take a holiday my buddy Geoff invented over almost any other. If I had my way, we'd start exchanging bird-themed gifts and ditch Cupid.

This is a great holiday. It's pure physical, sensual pleasure, divorced from any dogma at this point. Saint whatever. Pass the sex and food.

And as a medieval holiday, it has quite a long pedigree, thank you very much, even if you don't count in the Lupercalia (which you really shouldn't, unless wolf skins play a large part in your personal celebrations. If so, more power to you). The fact is, some human made up every single holiday there is. They're ALL fake. No one is more real or authentic than any other. At least this one was invented by a broke poet instead of a bunch of sex-starved priests. We live in a postmodern world--everything is what we make it. If Hallmark wants to force mainstream kids to buy jewelry they can't afford, they're more than welcome. I don't have to care about that, or take part in it. But I also don't have to get up on a soapbox and crush their joy in it. I know better. I know this day is an act of literature made flesh. But their world is not less valid for being Geoff-less.

And more than Geoff--think about it for a second. In the midst of winter, we are encouraged to come together and have sex (let's not be coy.) To escape the snow and ice in each others' bodies. The colors are red and rose and white--the colors of fire in the winter, of blood, of flesh, survival even in the barren times. We exchange hearts, the very vital core of our bodies. It is the last holiday before spring, to remind us that the fertile world will come again, with flowers and sweetness and love. Even surrounded by death, by blood on the snow, be it St. Valentine's blood or your own, life will win out. The traditional food is chocolate--which can be preserved through the winter and does not rot, full of sugar and fat which keep our bodies going through lean times. This holiday is as old as time: o world, even in the freezing storm, come together, make love, make children, feast, smile, and know the sun is coming soon.

Seriously, you have to stop trying to take that away. If you remove ritual from the world, you leave it greyer, and sadder, and all you have in its place is the triumph of having ruined something another person loved, which is a shallow and bitter triumph indeed. Get down off the soapbox, have a little chocolate, look out at the melting snow, and say something kind to someone you love. To be human is to take part in ritual, to demarcate the time with feasting and song and vestments and ecstasy. Life slips by, so very fast. Spend it in the practice of joy, not the destruction of it.

Happy Valentine's Day. Geoff bless us. Every one."

 

[momhappy]

It's one thing to poo-poo Valentine's Day, but your anniversary & mother's day too?!?
Holidays are really what you make of them, so if you want to commercialize them by buying gifts, etc. then that's one way to celebrate (and there's nothing wrong with that). However, there are many other ways to "celebrate" - a special dinner, a family outing, etc. I suppose that I can understand not wanting to get wrapped up too heavily in gift-giving, but to bundle them all as "not worthy" of recognition seems a but harsh (especially mother's day) and a cop-out, IMO.
I think that most couples that I know celebrate Valentine's Day in way way or another. DH and I have been married for 14 years and we celebrate either by going to dinner, making a special dinner, or even doing something with the kids (dinner & a movie, etc.). DH and I typically buy gifts for each other too (before having kids, it was pricey jewelry, but after kids it's less extravagant).
Oh, and I agree with Circe's post above. The b*tching about Valentine's Day usually comes off as sour grapes to me and I've never understood why it should even matter to anyone else if someone chooses to celebrate Valentine's Day.

 

[Circe]

Is Valentine's Day a "Hallmark holiday"?

And from my end ... I love Valentine's Day. And Halloween. And New Year's Eve. And St. Patrick's day, even if I'm not Irish, Cinco de Mayo, even if I'm not of Mexican descent, and, well, just about every other holiday out there that comes down to having a grand old time with friends and loved ones, because life is short and I will take any excuse I can.

On the froofier holidays, like Valentine's and Mother's Day and anniversaries, I am pretty sure my husband is 75% humoring me, because he could care less about hearts or flowers or jewelry or whatever. But he also listened to me rant about how important it was to show love and would it kill dudes to just buy a damn bouquet and write a limerick or something even back when we were dating other people, so ... he *does* know it matters to me, and even aside from that, I think a small part of him kind of likes the pomp of it all, even if his version is "we set aside time to spend with one another" as opposed to "GIFTS!!!" which is, admittedly, how I like to celebrate a lot of things. (You know the five love languages? Mine is, quite unabashedly, stuff.). I guess what it comes down to for me is that I figure on a position like this is, be GGG, as Dan Savage would put it. He celebrates V-Day with me, I do his version of Christmas, we're both the happier for it. 'S what marriage is all about, this fine art of compromise ... right?

 

[partgypsy]

Thanks Circe for posting this and it is really quite beautiful and how I see the world. Half of my family background is Greek, and MANY things are celebrated, heck even someone's funeral, yes there is the crying and the ritual but it is also a time for family to be together, hug the babies, have a big meal and a drink or toast or two to the dearly departed, exchange stories.

But I guess I see the "Hallmark" label as a copout to not do anything. Not even something non-materialistic like writing a note or collecting wildflowers, anything to show that you thought of this person beyond the normal day to day routine life stuff.

TMI part The "geek" part hit home. I was a major nerd, shy, late bloomer, didn't experience the proclamations of love during my younger days. Yes, many Valentines I was single. When we were dating he was romantic (not with the holidays, but little things like notes and attention and going on dates). But since we've gotten married and really since kids, that part of our relationship (romantic) not kept up. And I'm supposed to be OK with that part of my life being over. But I'm not.

 

[Circe]

Thanks Circe for posting this and it is really quite beautiful and how I see the world. Half of my family background is Greek, and MANY things are celebrated, heck even someone's funeral, yes there is the crying and the ritual but it is also a time for family to be together, hug the babies, have a big meal and a drink or toast or two to the dearly departed, exchange stories.

But I guess I see the "Hallmark" label as a copout to not do anything. Not even something non-materialistic like writing a note or collecting wildflowers, anything to show that you thought of this person beyond the normal day to day routine life stuff.

TMI part The "geek" part hit home. I was a major nerd, shy, late bloomer, didn't experience the proclamations of love during my younger days. Yes, many Valentines I was single. When we were dating he was romantic (not with the holidays, but little things like notes and attention and going on dates). But since we've gotten married and really since kids, that part of our relationship (romantic) not kept up. And I'm supposed to be OK with that part of my life being over. But I'm not.

I completely agree with you. I think the "Hallmark holiday" concept is used too broadly, to dismiss huge swathes of emotion as opposed to specific manifestations. I think there's a Hallmark phenomenon where we have the easy out of a pre-written card and a pre-packaged gift ... but I think the concept of celebrating ___ is pretty serious. I mean, for god's sake, Secretary's Day is literally a Hallmark holiday, I believe: however, that fact doesn't negate the need to make the person who run's one's office feel appreciated! And how much more so in a more personal relationship.

I'll acknowledge that in my relationship, I'm way more romantic than he is. It was a point of contention in my relationship for, oh, the first five years, I'd say: ironically, it's since having my son that I've eased up on that end (can't quite put my finger on why ... it might be seeing him be a great dad, it might be the marriage counseling). My husband is the first person to confess he's not romantic, but he tries to meet me halfway. A lot of that is just sort of acquiescing to what I say - *I* want to go out to dinner and get dressed up, *I* want us to exchange gifts (and will, like as not, wind up choosing both, for him and me), but I guess my part on meeting *him* halfway is accepting that, well, that's just how he is. He loves me very much, but that will never, ever, ever manifest in him writing me a poem, or spontaneously planning a romantic dinner, or ducking into Tiffany's to pick up a little just-because bauble, or whatever else the cultural ideal of Romantic Man might be. I think the hardest part for me was accepting that while he wanted to make me happy, he just wasn't capable of doing it the way I wanted him to ... so if *I* wanted to be happy (for both of us to be happy!), I was going to have to play cruise director. Compromise ....

BTW, I know the self-help book suggestion can be utterly infuriating, but I actually did fine the 5 Love Languages book to be fairly useful. I didn't expect to: it has a reputation for depending on a strong Christian foundation, including gender roles, and that is pretty far out of keeping with my general philosophy, but the underlying principles proved to be very useful. Have you read it? It might explain some of how he's acting ....

 

[ponder]

DH and I are not big in to the Hallmark holidays, but do celebrate them in little quirky ways. I buy him chocolates, he buys me flowers, and we take the kids to IHOP for dinner. Mother's day I get to sleep in while he and the kids pick flowers in the garden and get drive through breakfast to serve me in bed. Last year he told me that he always recognizes Valentine's day to ensure we celebrate March 14.

 

[Rosebloom]

I love holidays. I love Circe's infinite wisdom. I love Cat Valente even though I'll probably immediately forget her name until this thread next year. I love the five love languages (I'm gifts too, no great surprise to me).

And while we're at it, I love Pricescope! I love Niel and Woofmama who are great offline friends of mine now too. I love that once a year I can be all mushy gushy and just blame it on Valentine's.

 

[partgypsy]

I was going to ask what March 14th, but looked it up. Haha! Be funny if they made a card for that one...
Thanks ya'll for letting me vent.

 

[telephone89]

I think it's great to have a day set aside to really SHOW someone how much I care about them. That being said, I really hate the pressure to BUY something to do so. Someone doesnt need to purchase chocolate or flowers or a fancy dinner just to show they care, and when society looks down upon these people for not spending X amount I don't think it's fair.

That being said, we usually go out to dinner and buy 1/2 price chocolates the next day. This year we didn't make reservations in time, so I'm cooking dinner at home, and probably cracking a bottle from the fancy collection.

 

[Niel]

I love holidays. I love Circe's infinite wisdom. I love Cat Valente even though I'll probably immediately forget her name until this thread next year. I love the five love languages (I'm gifts too, no great surprise to me).

And while we're at it, I love Pricescope! I love Niel and Woofmama who are great offline friends of mine now too. I love that once a year I can be all mushy gushy and just blame it on Valentine's.

Baw! Love you too rosebloom.

I guess I'm the worst because I don't celebrate holidays like I should either. My husband will buy me things for our anniversary or valentines day and I always seem to be the one saying "I thought we weren't doing anything!"
Not because I don't repsect the holiday, or my husband. Truly I don't know why I glaze over most holidays. Maybe I'm lazy?

In my family v day is more for the kids than anything. My mom gets my sister and I something, we get our kids something... That's the materialistic part of the holiday.
As for my husband, he usually just gets some.

 

[Circe]

I love holidays. I love Circe's infinite wisdom. I love Cat Valente even though I'll probably immediately forget her name until this thread next year. I love the five love languages (I'm gifts too, no great surprise to me).

And while we're at it, I love Pricescope! I love Niel and Woofmama who are great offline friends of mine now too. I love that once a year I can be all mushy gushy and just blame it on Valentine's.

You'd love Cat Valente's writing generally, I think - off-topic, I know, but she's one of the best writers working today, I think. And FWIW, I love PriceScope, too! Met some great friends on here. Wish more of us lived closer together, though, or could otherwise arrange more GTGs - meeting you in person was a blast, Rosebloom!

 

[packrat]

I've never cared about Valentine's Day. We bought each other something our first three together-the 2nd one we got engaged on, so in *that* respect, we make a bigger deal about it. But it still amounts to "Hey, it's our engagement anniversary-can you believe we've been together this long?" and smart ass comments to each other. Lots of hugs and kisses, and sometimes we'll go out to eat. We don't do flowers-it gets me too wound up for Spring and probably I would actually cry b/c it's so dreary and yucky outside I feel like I'll never be happy again until I can get back into our own flowers. I eat candy every day. We're kinda party poopers I guess.

 

[ponder]

I love holidays. I love Circe's infinite wisdom. I love Cat Valente even though I'll probably immediately forget her name until this thread next year. I love the five love languages (I'm gifts too, no great surprise to me).

And while we're at it, I love Pricescope! I love Niel and Woofmama who are great offline friends of mine now too. I love that once a year I can be all mushy gushy and just blame it on Valentine's.

Baw! Love you too rosebloom.

I guess I'm the worst because I don't celebrate holidays like I should either. My husband will buy me things for our anniversary or valentines day and I always seem to be the one saying "I thought we weren't doing anything!"
Not because I don't repsect the holiday, or my husband. Truly I don't know why I glaze over most holidays. Maybe I'm lazy?

In my family v day is more for the kids than anything. My mom gets my sister and I something, we get our kids something... That's the materialistic part of the holiday.
As for my husband, he usually just gets some.

That's all husbands really want for holidays anyway.

 

[momhappy]

I think it's great to have a day set aside to really SHOW someone how much I care about them. That being said, I really hate the pressure to BUY something to do so. Someone doesnt need to purchase chocolate or flowers or a fancy dinner just to show they care, and when society looks down upon these people for not spending X amount I don't think it's fair.

That being said, we usually go out to dinner and buy 1/2 price chocolates the next day. This year we didn't make reservations in time, so I'm cooking dinner at home, and probably cracking a bottle from the fancy collection.

What pressure? And who in society is looking down on someone for not spending x amount of dollars on a holiday gift??? I'm bombarded with hundreds of ads/messages on a daily basis and I guess that I don't feel any more pressure to participate in a Holiday (like Valentine's Day) than I do for anything else I see/read/hear.
The flip side is feeling looked down upon for celebrating a Holiday like Valentine's Day. People who label it a "Hallmark Holiday" are typically not shy about expressing their opinions about it. I don't care to see someone pissing & moaning about Valentine's Day on social media any more than they probably care to see me bragging about it by posting a picture of my awesome bouquet of flowers (which I would never do by the way). If someone chooses to celebrate/not celebrate a Holiday then that's their own prerogative and it shouldn't matter to anyone else how or why. I agree with you that it's nice to take a day to recognize (and celebrate) the relationships that we have with our loved ones

 

[packrat]

Mother's Day now...I gave that man two amazing kids. If he can't give me a little extra appreciation for that, he can just un-appreciate himself right on out the damn door.

 

[partgypsy]

Mother's Day now...I gave that man two amazing kids. If he can't give me a little extra appreciation for that, he can just un-appreciate himself right on out the damn door.

Yes, because we all know how much moms are typically appreciated on a daily basis .

 

[Mayk]

Mother's Day now...I gave that man two amazing kids. If he can't give me a little extra appreciation for that, he can just un-appreciate himself right on out the damn door.

I like Valentines. Any reason to get flowers... I love roses and tulips!

 

[Niel]

Mother's Day now...I gave that man two amazing kids. If he can't give me a little extra appreciation for that, he can just un-appreciate himself right on out the damn door.

I like Valentines. Any reason to get flowers... I love roses and tulips!

See I tell my husband he isn't allowed to get me flowers. I jist coukd never get into them. I hate the idea of spending money on something I'm just going to watch die. If he wants to get me candy though, a gal would stay no lol.

 

[marymm]

As I referenced before, my husband other than Halloween is not really into holidays. I should be used to it by now, but for example when I asked him if we are doing anything for Valentine's day he said he was working (it seems with relief) and even if he wasn't it's a "Hallmark holiday" i.e. made up to sell things. (He says the same for Mother's day).

What is the consensus on Valentines? Do people a) still celebrate it personally with their loved one even if no longer "dating" or newlywed, or b) it exists in a commercialized sense to sell stuff, best to be ignored? c) depends on the couple.
I guess i'm someone who likes celebrating holidays and he doesn't, and this has caused friction. It's gotten to the point he doesn't celebrate our anniversary either.

Okay, me and DH met years ago on Valentine's Day; later we married on a Valentine's Day; and we do celebrate every Valentine's Day - most of time it is rather low-key: dinner out, flowers, a card, chocolates... but every so often we go big and take a trip for the bigger anniversaries. For us, Valentine's Day is kind of a trifecta (day we met; day we married; and um Valentine's Day). I'd be really sad if my DH was not into celebrating any/all of those things.

That said, my DH comes from a different present-giving/holiday/celebration background from me - in his family the following is the norm: no presents are given at all, or are given months later, often not wrapped and still in the original bag/box/shipping carton, no cards, no gift tags -- just very haphazard.

I really had to communicate with my DH how important it was to me that we celebrate an occasion/event/holiday *actually on that day* - I told him a handwritten note or store-bought card was fine but I wanted something tangible because celebrating holidays/event was a special way of marking our life and years together. He finally cottoned on to the simple fact that giving me a card or flowers or whatever, on the actual holiday/event, made me a very happy girl, and his life is so much better when I am a happy wife (and I don't mean that in a snide/materialistic way; I mean it in the way that, by its very nature, happiness spreads goodwill and cheer and joy, * which we both so much prefer in our day-to-day lives *)

Anyway, I really hope you and your DH can get to a happy meeting point on celebrations in your life - maybe if you remind him he doesn't have to buy a Hallmark card, he can just make you a love note or take the lead on arranging a picnic/dvd lunch date or making the dinner reservation somewhere meaningful.

 

[packrat]

Mother's Day now...I gave that man two amazing kids. If he can't give me a little extra appreciation for that, he can just un-appreciate himself right on out the damn door.

Yes, because we all know how much moms are typically appreciated on a daily basis .

hahaha exactly. So there best be some sort of acknowledgement of what I do the rest of the year or consequences and repercussions will follow.

 

[momhappy]

As I referenced before, my husband other than Halloween is not really into holidays. I should be used to it by now, but for example when I asked him if we are doing anything for Valentine's day he said he was working (it seems with relief) and even if he wasn't it's a "Hallmark holiday" i.e. made up to sell things. (He says the same for Mother's day).

What is the consensus on Valentines? Do people a) still celebrate it personally with their loved one even if no longer "dating" or newlywed, or b) it exists in a commercialized sense to sell stuff, best to be ignored? c) depends on the couple.
I guess i'm someone who likes celebrating holidays and he doesn't, and this has caused friction. It's gotten to the point he doesn't celebrate our anniversary either.

So your DH likes Halloween? Why is that?

 

[Circe]

Re: Is Valentine's Day a "Hallmark holiday"?

I'm not Part Gypsy, but I'm going to guess it might be for the same reasons my husband does: it's a pure fun holiday. No obligations, familial, romantic, material, or otherwise; just costumes, candy, and fun. It's a holiday with literally no drawbacks.

 

[Mayk]

I have a way to keep my flowers fresh for a longer period of time.

Roses my top favorite like warm water, I change the water every morning and replace it with hot tap water. They almost always last 5-7 days.

Tulips are cold weather flowers. I put ice cubes in their water and change it every morning.

I learned these tips and a few more from a book I purchased at La Grenouille in NYC. The owner (I think he's not there now he had a rift with his mother) did all of their arrangements and each day he would change the water and each week change the arrangements. These arrangements were huge! His book is fabulous. Not big or think just full of a lot of great tips for flower lovers. He signed my book. His flowers were beautiful and the food was fabulous!

I buy most of my flowers at Fresh Market and Trader Joes's


The Flowers of La Grenouille [Hardcover]
Charles Masson (Author)

http://www.la-grenouille.com

http://www.grubstreet.com/2014/03/la-grenouille-charles-masson.html

 

[dk168]

Judging at the inflated hotel and restaurant prices around this time of the year, I believe a lot of people still make the effort for Valentine's Day.

Being a romantic at heart, if I had a special someone, I too would do something special with him on this day.

DK

 

[ponder]

Mother's Day now...I gave that man two amazing kids. If he can't give me a little extra appreciation for that, he can just un-appreciate himself right on out the damn door.

I like Valentines. Any reason to get flowers... I love roses and tulips!

See I tell my husband he isn't allowed to get me flowers. I jist coukd never get into them. I hate the idea of spending money on something I'm just going to watch die. If he wants to get me candy though, a gal would stay no lol.

This is how I feel about cards. $5 freaking bucks for a piece of paper that is going to get thrown away in a few days.

 

[nala]

I think it's great to have a day set aside to really SHOW someone how much I care about them. That being said, I really hate the pressure to BUY something to do so. Someone doesnt need to purchase chocolate or flowers or a fancy dinner just to show they care, and when society looks down upon these people for not spending X amount I don't think it's fair.

That being said, we usually go out to dinner and buy 1/2 price chocolates the next day. This year we didn't make reservations in time, so I'm cooking dinner at home, and probably cracking a bottle from the fancy collection.

What pressure? And who in society is looking down on someone for not spending x amount of dollars on a holiday gift??? I'm bombarded with hundreds of ads/messages on a daily basis and I guess that I don't feel any more pressure to participate in a Holiday (like Valentine's Day) than I do for anything else I see/read/hear.
The flip side is feeling looked down upon for celebrating a Holiday like Valentine's Day. People who label it a "Hallmark Holiday" are typically not shy about expressing their opinions about it. I don't care to see someone pissing & moaning about Valentine's Day on social media any more than they probably care to see me bragging about it by posting a picture of my awesome bouquet of flowers (which I would never do by the way). If someone chooses to celebrate/not celebrate a Holiday then that's their own prerogative and it shouldn't matter to anyone else how or why. I agree with you that it's nice to take a day to recognize (and celebrate) the relationships that we have with our loved ones

I love Valentine's day, and I appreciate that my hubby realizes that and treats it like a special day. But I also get why people feel pressured. What pressure? The pressure that young girls feel because all of their friends are getting flowers or gifts, and they are yet to get their first kiss. The pressure that a person feels when he or she has to answer the question: what are you doing for Valentine's day? with a long explanation for why his or her partner doesn't believe in Vday. People talk and share and it's not always about showing off. And it feels like pressure to have to even bother to explain. I hate Xmas trees. I think they are silly. I stopped putting them up when my teen daughter said she didn't need one to make her feel like it was Xmas. What a relief. But there is pressure to put up a tree every year bc when I have people over for the holidays, I have to explain why I don't care for Xmas trees. And while I know it's my prerogative, I still have to answer the question, which then becomes a long explanation, and I can feel their eyes glaring at me, as they secretly think I'm a scrooge.

 

[dk168]

Remember one does not have to wait until Valentine's Day or whatever in order to say how much one appreciate/love his/her special someone.

Tell this person how much he/she means to you every day, just in case there is no tomorrow, and life can be very cruel.

DK

 

[Niel]

Mother's Day now...I gave that man two amazing kids. If he can't give me a little extra appreciation for that, he can just un-appreciate himself right on out the damn door.

I like Valentines. Any reason to get flowers... I love roses and tulips!

See I tell my husband he isn't allowed to get me flowers. I jist coukd never get into them. I hate the idea of spending money on something I'm just going to watch die. If he wants to get me candy though, a gal would stay no lol.

This is how I feel about cards. $5 freaking bucks for a piece of paper that is going to get thrown away in a few days.

Oh my god I apologize for the ridiculous amount of typos. My fatigue is really damaging my typing skills at the moment.

But yes I don't believe in cards either. I'd prefer my husband tell me something sweet for free.

 

[Dancing Fire]

If I bought my wife a gift on V-day she would then think that I am having an affair. I must have done something guilty ...